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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759182">Flowers and Blood</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yixuan/pseuds/yixuan'>yixuan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood Magic, Canon Gay Relationship, Dark Magic, Durmstrang, First Love, Gay Sex, Godric's Hollow, M/M, POV Gellert Grindelwald, Seer Gellert Grindelwald, Visions, Young Albus Dumbledore, Young Gellert Grindelwald</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:15:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>95,302</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yixuan/pseuds/yixuan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Albus was the first and only person to ask him where he really came from. Then again he was the only person Gellert knew who really wanted to get to the bottom of things, to know the roots and source of everything and everyone he encountered. Gellert began telling him the story while Albus’ lazy fingers traced his still glowing skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps. He closed his eyes and all came back to him like a dream, another life that seemed to have happened to someone else."</p><p>When Gellert Grindelwald is expelled from Durmstrang after performing a dark spell that will change his life forever, he finds himself in Godric's Hollow, England. Things seem to take a turn for the better when he meets someone he believes to be his destiny. But the past still haunts him, as does the future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald, Gellert Grindelwald/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>“And love became the world's beginning and the world's ruler; but all its ways are full of flowers and blood, flowers and blood.”</em><br/>― Knut Hamsun, Victoria</p><p> </p><p>Albus was the first and only person to ask him where he really came from. Then again he was the only person Gellert knew who really wanted to get to the bottom of things, to know the roots and source of everything and everyone he encountered. Gellert began telling him the story while Albus’ lazy fingers traced his still glowing skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps. He closed his eyes and all came back to him like a dream, another life that seemed to have happened to someone else.</p><p>What he remembered first were the mountains, not the green, friendly hills that covered these parts of England, but majestic, towering, deathly mountains with their tops covered in snow. Mountains that drove them down in the winter and pulled them back in Spring when the ice began to melt and gave way to the most beautiful meadows with blue and white and yellow flowers peppering the lush green, and a smell of clean freshness. He saw them, closing his eyelids and inhaling Albus’ scent, and felt a strange dizziness at seemingly being in two placed at the same time. He saw the cows trotting around and chewing on grass, small calves following in their wake; he heard the bells around their necks jingling under the fresh morning sun. He had never thought he would miss this one day, but now he was here, under the sheets, pressed against his lovers cooling body, and it seemed like a beautiful and distant dream.</p><p>Other things came back to him. His fathers stick, hitting him hard in all kind of places. A cane swishing across his fingers, leaving red and stinging marks that made it hard to grab the rope attached to the cow’s nose ring later. Sleepless nights beside calving beasts, after which he had to get up early again and prepare breakfast for his father before the sun rose. The water, always cold, running from the well in the backyard, where he washed himself once every day. The river, even colder, where he only bathed during warm summer days and nights and where he saw great and terrible things he couldn’t recognize as magic-- glowing and hovering creatures watching him, a feeling of electricity running through his veins, warming his skin and illuminating his surroundings like fire.</p><p>In the autumn they would leave the mountain pastures and drive the cattle down, always a huge spectacle. He remembered the cows decorated with flowers, his joy at the crowd of people, the music, the dancing. It was followed by cold winters, filled with darkness and dark stories told in front of the fire, about witches and the devil, ever eager for human souls. He remembered his heart leaping at the thought of spring, of going back to the mountains and returning to the magical nights at the river.</p><p>There was no love for him there, only the cold and heartless stare of his father. Gellert had only made the mistake of asking about his mother once. He remembered something, <em>someone;</em> a calm and soothing presence, a floating cup of tea, a hand stroking his face. But the question had resulted in a proper thrashing that would leave his bottom sore for days.</p><p>“It is your fault! She hated you, that is why she left! Who would stay with an ungrateful <em>bastard</em> like you! Only me! Be grateful that I don’t throw you out on the street where you belong!”</p><p>He felt his whole body shivering at the memory. Albus felt it too, and tightened his embrace.</p><p>“He probably wasn’t even my father, you know”, he whispered against Albus’ lips. “For all I know he could have been any man. I didn’t even look like him. He was dark and brooding. Whereas I…”</p><p>“Whereas you are as bright as an angel”, Albus finished his sentence and deepened the half-finished kiss. Gellert could never tell where his adoration came from. He didn’t feel worthy, but lapped it up, always hungry for more.</p><p>“Where is this place… these mountains?”, Albus asked when their lips had separated.</p><p>Gellert smiled. “You wouldn’t know it.”</p><p>“Tell me anyway.”</p><p>“Later”.</p><p>He was intoxicated by the memories that seemed to have lost all their threat, here, in Albus’ comforting arms. Now he could see the magic, the beauty of everything, the omnipresence of the mountains around him, like ancient, powerful creatures birthing their own myths, their own stories, their own legends. It seemed like the animals and the flowers could talk and the trees sing their own songs from centuries before. When he was doing magic now, he sometimes had the feeling coming back to him, of a power beyond him that he was only using, borrowing, but that wasn’t his own.</p><p>It was early that he discovered he could do things that others could not. Small things, like cups flying to him from the other side of the room, the lighting of candles without matches and his ability to always make the bucket of milk lighter. He made sure no one noticed these, because they were already scared enough of him. When he went to church on Sundays with his father, they looked at him with suspicious eyes and murmured things behind his back. “Child of Satan”, they would say. “His mother had a pact with the devil.” Maybe they felt it, that there was something in him, some hidden power. Mountain people were always sensitive to things beyond their knowledge and control. Maybe they had still seen him doing something strange, despite all his precautions. Maybe it was his mismatched eyes that gave him an eerie and otherworldly look.</p><p>“Muggles”, Albus murmured and shook his head. “They couldn’t know.”</p><p>“It is a different world”, Gellert said. “Surviving each year is hard. Surviving the winter is hard. There is fear, always, and they are scared of magic above all. <em>Dark</em> magic, that is-- only they don’t seem to believe in good magic at all. There are forces they don’t understand, forces they fear. So they feared me.”</p><p>He never thought he would escape this world some day. It was a day of glorious sunshine when it happened, so fast and sudden that he still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. It ended his life in the mountains, his life as the son of a cattle breeder, but also, in a way, his childhood.</p><p>It had been one of those days he had spent at the river, after escaping some of his chores. There would be a beating at the end of the day, but he didn’t care. There would probably be a beating anyway. The cold and clear water beckoned him and he couldn’t resist taking off his clothes and immersing himself into the river at a place where the water pooled into a large pond. He gasped at the cold and felt the rushing feeling again, this feeling that made him <em>know</em> that there was something in him, something <em>more</em>, something wanting to<em> get out</em>… only this time he let it go and the water rose, spiraled up, towered above him, until he let it splash down onto him and onto the meadow, making him scream in delight. It thrilled him, that he could do this; he spent hours playing this strange game, making the water rise high into the air, making it come down whenever he chose. He wasn’t even feeling the cold anymore until he noticed that he was shivering and climbed out of the water to dry in the hot and blazing sun. His light skin would probably be red in the evening, but it just felt too good. He let the rays stroke his naked body until he was dry, got dressed and went back to the farm in good spirits.</p><p>When he entered the cottage he felt more than he noticed otherwise that they had a visitor. There was a presence, a presence that seemed somehow familiar, something female and soft, a sharp contrast to his hard and bulky father. Then he heard the voices. Harsh and angry voices. The female voice had a much softer accent, washed out by years of talking differently, probably in a more educated and sophisticated way. Still, it was sharp and menacing. After months of hearing only the grunts and shouts of his father, it sounded like heavenly music to Gellert’s ears.</p><p>“You will not, woman!”, his father thundered and Gellert could hear as well as feel his heavy feet stumping on the ground. “I need him. He needs to work, lazy though he is.”</p><p>“Do you think I care what you do? Hire a boy from the village.”</p><p>Gellert thought about entering the room, but stopped before the wooden door, not sure whether this was something he should interrupt.</p><p>“You never cared about him, you just left him behind when he was still drinking milk! Couldn’t stop him screaming for days!”</p><p>When the woman spoke again, it sounded like breaking icicles.</p><p>“I still don’t care about him. But he has the <em>gift.</em> You know it, you must know it. There is no way it could have escaped you all these years.”</p><p>Gellert felt like an iron fist had grabbed his heart and was squeezing it. This woman with the glass voice must be his mother. He had forgotten she even existed, had forced himself to forget. But now she was here, saying all these strange and terrible things, making him stand there as if frozen, not daring to move.</p><p>“Enough with your devilries, woman. Leave us alone and go back to that…”</p><p>Gellert suddenly heard a wheezing sound, followed by some coughing. He didn’t dare to imagine what had happened in there. But he felt the <em>power</em> again, which he had felt earlier at the river, only this time it was coming from another person.</p><p>“It is not your choice, Ueli”, she whispered menacingly, but loud enough for Gellert to hear. “How long are you going to keep him here with your <em>cows</em>, how long are you going to make him believe he is possessed by some evil, just as these imbeciles around here? Don’t you know what happens to the people who suppress their gift, their power? Trust me, you don’t want to know. I’m taking the boy with me. He will be educated, he will be taught to use his abilities.”</p><p>“Don’t you have enough brats with that <em>husband</em> of yours”, his father rasped, still breathing heavily.</p><p>“None of them has the gift”, the woman replied calmly. “None of them got it from me. That’s why I came here to take him. It is my duty, not as a mother, but as a witch--”</p><p>A howling sound came from his father, who was obviously enraged by the use of that word, a word that shocked Gellert as well. It was a word that was said only in hushed voices, behind peoples backs; nothing that anyone would ever call themselves and identify with. The howling was over quickly and the woman spoke again with that icy voice of hers.</p><p>“It is time you stopped eavesdropping and came in here, Gellert.”</p><p>He felt paralyzed, but forced his limbs to follow his orders and move. Entering the room, a strange picture presented itself to him: a breathtakingly beautiful woman, wearing an elaborate lace dress, smiling at him in a way that could only be described as polite, and his father, the strong and violent man that had mistreated him for years, in his rough linen shirt and trousers, kneeling on the floor, held down by some invisible force.</p><p>“Hello Ma’am.” He felt at loss at what to say to her. Even though she was wearing fancy clothes, looked beautiful, healthy and groomed, he knew from a few looks into the mirror that she looked<em> just</em> <em>like him</em>: golden curly hair, bright skin, almost transparent, and-- a pair of mismatched eyes, one bright, translucent, and one dark, like a pebble.</p><p>“Call me Frau Meyer”, she said simply. She didn’t tell him to call her “mother”. She never would.</p><p>“I am glad to meet you, Frau Meyer”, he said, remembering his manners, and saw his father’s furious eyes; yet somehow the man seemed unable to mutter a sound. Gellert wanted more than anything to impress her, to make her somehow take back that sentence: “I still don’t care about him.”</p><p>He wanted to make her care.</p><p>“I am glad to meet you too, Gellert. You turned out more handsome than I feared with that brute of a father of yours. Maybe you will still make it. Tell me, Gellert-- have you ever done something you couldn’t explain? Something that other people cannot do?”</p><p>He nodded, feverishly, and suddenly it dawned upon him, that she was really here to take him away. It made him dizzy, this thought, and he realized that as much as he hated this life and his father, he had never thought he would ever escape it. It had seemed a possibility beyond reality. And now, here she was, lacy dress and icy voice, about to take him away.</p><p>“Tell me all about it, Gellert”, she said, her eyes sparkling with malice.</p><p>…</p><p>Apparently he passed her test and she made him pack what little possessions he had. His father just stood there, not daring to say or do anything more, only expressing his displeasure with his look. Gellert didn’t dare to look at him while he packed his bundle, put on his only pair of Sunday shoes, then stood expectantly in front of Frau Meyer, who scrutinized him and then shook her head.</p><p>“I can’t believe he couldn’t even get you some proper clothes. Don’t you have a shirt that isn’t torn in some place?”</p><p>“This is my best shirt, Ma’am.”</p><p>“Frau Meyer, please.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Frau Meyer.”</p><p>She sighed, then turned around to the man to whom she had for some reason born a child.</p><p>“I expect this to be the last time we see each other, Ueli. I can’t say I’m sad about it. Gellert, say goodbye to your father.”</p><p>He noticed how easily she had taken to ordering him around. Not knowing what to say, he slowly turned to his father. His father, after all. Some scars he would keep all his life.</p><p>“Goodbye, father.”</p><p>The man didn’t look up and, at first, kept silent.</p><p>“You will regret this. You will regret leaving. Leaving with her.” He then said.</p><p>He was wrong. Gellert never did.</p><p>…</p><p>She took him to Berlin, in the blink of an eye. After taking her arm, with a last glance at the farm where he had spent all the years of his childhood, he was pulled into an abyss and spit out into a strange and foreign place. He couldn’t even take in all of the new impressions raining down onto him at once, while she pulled him through the streets. All the people, tall in their pretty clothes, clean and tailored, the street urchins who looked just like him, the stray dogs, the horse carriages that thundered by and made him jump away in panic. It was a new and mesmerizing world, a place he hadn’t even imagined in his wildest dreams. There was so much to look at, a whirlwind of images and smells, that his head hurt constantly during his first days.</p><p>It soon became clear, though, that Frau Meyer wasn’t going to keep him, and why she had chosen this time to come and get him, as her husband was away “on business” and Gellert was introduced to his half-siblings-- a feisty looking, five year old girl with ribbons in her hair, and a smaller boy with a dull and uninteresting face, none of whom had inherited Frau Meyers mesmerizing beauty-- as a distant cousin from Switzerland. They laughed at his accent, the rolling “r” on his tongue, the melodious ups and downs of his voice when he spoke, until he didn’t open his mouth unless he absolutely had to. The husband, though, wouldn’t have been able to ignore the resemblance between him and Frau Meyer, and probably wouldn’t have believed the “distant cousin” story.</p><p>She took Gellert shopping, made him bath regularly and wear his shoes at all times. He marveled at all the new luxuries, at how his skin smelled after being washed with soap, at how bright his hair was after a good rinse. He marveled at his own beauty in the mirror that he now regularly looked into. Now he wasn’t a cow herder’s son anymore. Who he now was, he wasn’t entirely sure about. All he knew was that he wanted to fit in here, in this new world with all its possibilities. He wanted to please <em>her</em>, wanted her love and admiration, above all. But she never so much as touched him, and spoke to him only in that icy voice of hers, while she addressed his siblings with tender affection. Soon, it transpired that he wasn’t to stay in this apartment, with her, instead she mentioned more and more often a place called Durmstrang. She referred to it as a school, but never said anything else. At some point it became clear to him that he was to be sent there, and it scared him. He wanted to stay here, in this bright and clean place, where he wanted to belong so badly.</p><p>“You’re sending me away to this place… to Durmstrang?” he asked her one day while he was hurrying behind her, accompanying her on a shopping trip. Shopping and socializing was all she ever seemed to be doing, and sometimes he wondered if this was the same person he had seen holding down his father with an invisible magical force. He had never seen her do any more magic and one evening she had told him in a hushed voice not to tell anyone what he had seen in that room.</p><p>“Yes, my dear. You need education. It is a special school for children with special gifts. It will be the best place for you.”</p><p>“Did you go there yourself?”, he asked and felt some hesitation from her. It took some time for her to answer.</p><p>“Yes, Gellert. I did go there. But this will stay between the two of us, right?”</p><p>“Of course, Frau Meyer” he said eagerly. It was a secret that they shared. Something they had in common. Something those two stupid children of hers would never have.</p><p>“You’re going to need to learn some things before you go there. Did you ever go to school in that godforsaken place? Probably not. <em>He</em> cannot even read.”</p><p>Gellert had gone to school, but only for two short years, and he had forgotten most of what he had learned. He read the newspaper headlines with difficulty and had needed numbers mostly to count whether all of their cows had been in one place.</p><p>“I can read and write.”</p><p>She turned around and looked at him. “Well, that’s a good start. I will get the children’s tutor to teach you some more so you won’t embarrass yourself. However, it won’t be the same things that you will learn there.”</p><p>“What <em>will</em> I learn, then?”</p><p>A faint smile crept across her face. “Things that you cannot even imagine, Gellert.”</p><p>That was all she said about it. Still, she kept her promise, and the elderly gentleman who came three times a week to tutor the two children would spend an additional hour with Gellert as well, patiently revising all the letters and working on his Swiss German accent until it had almost completely vanished and gave way to harsh, high German sounds. It felt good. It felt as if he was shedding a part of him that had become a liability on his way of becoming a new person.</p><p>As the summer was nearing its end, Frau Meyer called him into the study one evening and told him to sit down in one of the chairs. It was strange that she would do this, as the other two children had already gone to bed and he had been about to do the same.</p><p>“Gellert, we have some things to discuss”, she said, matter-of-factly. “Would you like some tea?”</p><p>“No, thank you.”</p><p>“Well, as a matter of fact, I do”, she said, waved her hand, and suddenly a steaming teapot and a delicate china cup appeared on the small table next to her. She poured herself a cup and leaned back, apparently enjoying the look of surprise on Gellert’s face. He had not seen her do magic after the day she had fetched him.</p><p>“It was nice having you here, Gellert. I hope you enjoyed your stay.”</p><p>“I did”, he replied, noticing his voice was hoarse. “Does that mean…”</p><p>“My husband is coming back the day after tomorrow”, she interrupted him. “And it is about time you started your education. Luckily, the new school year starts next week and the school’s headmaster agreed to take you in a couple of days earlier. So you will leave tomorrow and start your new life. You will learn many new things. Are you excited?”</p><p>He felt a lump in his throat. “Is there… can I stay… or maybe come back? There are going to be holidays, right?” It was one of the few things he knew about schools.</p><p>She smiled and, for the first time, it looked a little sad. When her mismatched eyes looked into his, he saw a hint of tenderness-- or maybe he was only imagining it.</p><p>“Gellert, you are a clever boy. I could not lie to you, even if I wished to do so. You are my son-- you only need to look at yourself in the mirror to see it. You are the only one who inherited my gift for magic. But you belong to a part of my past that I wanted to forget. It was wrong of me to think I could just leave you behind and abandon you. Forgive me for this. I have made many bad choices. And you, Gellert, being my son and a human being, will make those as well. You will have regrets, just as me. Sometimes it is hard to know what is right and what is wrong. I was very young when I had you and…”</p><p>Suddenly, she seemed to snap out of it, and quickly looked away. The almost tender tone in her voice had entirely disappeared when she spoke again.</p><p>“I wish you could be a part of my life, Gellert. But you can’t. I did what I have to do, I took you from that wretched place and opened a new life to you. Use this opportunity. If you do, you will go to places that you could never imagine. No one will ever forget your name.”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t keep up his polite manner anymore; he let out a short huff and fell back into his chair. “What is my name, anyway? Will I be called Gellert Meyer? I don’t even have a family name.”</p><p>She shook her head. “You cannot use that name, Gellert. It is my husband’s name, it isn’t even mine. What about you invent your own family name? Maybe use the place where you come from. That’s how people used to form their last names in the first place.”</p><p>He thought for a moment, thought of the place where he had spent all of his childhood. He didn’t want it to be part of him anymore. Still, he rolled the name on his tongue.</p><p>“Gellert Grindelwald”. He laughed. “It sounds… It doesn’t sound so bad.”</p><p>His mother’s face broke into a huge smile, the biggest he had ever seen her with.</p><p>“It sounds magnificent, my dear boy. And one day, everyone will know and fear the wizard Gellert Grindelwald.”</p><p>…</p><p>Albus gave an incredulous laugh and raised his head from Gellert’s chest to look at him. “So this isn’t even your real name?”</p><p>Gellert shrugged. “Of course it is. I don’t have any other name. Gellert is the name that my… my parents gave me. And Grindelwald is the place where I come from. Nobody knows, Albus. I never told anyone.”</p><p>“Why? Were you embarrassed?”</p><p>He shook his head slightly and kissed Albus on the nose. “I guess no one ever bothered to ask.”</p><p>Albus looked at him eagerly, like a child waiting for a story to go on. “So what happened? Did your mother take you to Durmstrang? Or did you go on your own? Did you ever see her again? Where is Durmstrang, anyway? It seems like no one knows for sure, even at Hogwarts, they…”</p><p>“You”, Gellert interrupted him and put his finger on Albus’ lips, his soft, wonderful lips, “you are a terribly nosy boy, Albus. Story time is over. I have other things to do.”</p><p>With that, he pushed himself up and flipped Albus around, who had been draped around him like a cloak. Lying on top of him, he grabbed his wrists and pinned them down on both sides. Albus looked at him with an intoxicating mix of arousal and mischief, like a child who has just been naughty but doesn’t quite fear the punishment.</p><p>“So aren’t you going to tell me about Durmstrang? About why you were expelled?” he breathed, already flushed and hot again, which was probably the result of Gellert grinding his cock into him and biting his neck.</p><p>“Not today, sweet Albus. Will you stop talking now?”</p><p>And Albus didn’t say another word, only Gellert’s name, over and over again, while he came undone in his arms.</p><p>…</p><p>Albus, however, didn’t seem to be able to drop the issue. It was only the next day that he brought it up again. It was hot, sweltering summer day, and they were lazily lying in the grass, after they had slept very little last night and just escaped Albus’ grumpy brother Aberforth, who seemed to rip Gellert apart with his eyes every time they met. Gellert smiled at the memory of leaving Albus’ room the night before after another round of feverish lovemaking, tiptoeing down the stairs that creaked with every step he took. He had surely woken up the whole house, but couldn’t stop gigging, this was all just<em> too good</em>. Coming here to Godric’s Hollow had been somewhat of a coincidence and he had not been sure what he would encounter here-- now he was sleeping with the prettiest boy in the village, who also happened to be the cleverest boy he had come across in his entire life. Albus occupied his every thought, every waking and sleeping moment. He saw his face when he later fell into an uneasy sleep with dreams of his skin, the taste of his lips and the sound of his moans. He had woken up in the morning with his cock rock-hard.</p><p>Now they were mostly silent, each lost in their own thoughts, their hands entangled and fingers playing with each other.</p><p>“So… how was Durmstrang?”, Albus mumbled after some time, half-asleep.</p><p>Gellert raised his head to look at him disbelievingly. “Is your curiosity still not satisfied? You will be the death of me, Albus Dumbledore.”</p><p>Albus laughed shortly. “I hope not to be the death of anyone.”</p><p>“Then stop asking questions!”</p><p>“Why is it so bad to talk about it? I have never met anyone outside of Great Britain before. Everyone is the same, they all went to Hogwarts and… well, I have never really met a foreigner. And as it seems, I am stuck in this village for eternity with my brother and my sister, so I might as well hear some stories.”</p><p>Gellert sighed, but felt his heart sting. It wasn’t that he was glad about what had happened in his past, about his mother taking him away from home and abandoning him to become a wizard, but at least he was young and free and able to go wherever he pleased. Whereas Albus, bright, young, <em>brilliant</em> Albus, was bearing this heavy burden, his mother’s death, his sister’s illness, all this responsibility. He would most likely waste away his youth and his beauty here, until he became old and bitter, one of these cantankerous old wizards with crooked noses. The thought made Gellert’s heart feel heavy.</p><p>He rolled onto his side and supported his head with his hand. “Well then. It seems I have taken pity on you and changed my mind. Where were we?”</p><p>“Durmstrang”, whispered Albus, mesmerized, drinking in his every word.</p><p>…</p><p>He closed his eyes again and saw the dark, brooding castle, standing on a cliff, overlooking vast forests and mountains, almost like the ones he had left behind in the Swiss Alps. It felt just like coming home, even though it was a strange and foreign place, almost menacing, that would have scared many boys his age.</p><p>His mother had dropped him at the village nearby, as she wasn’t allowed anywhere near the castle, not being a student anymore. It was strange, the secrecy that surrounded the school. He had asked his mother over and over again where it was, where they were going, but she wouldn’t tell him.</p><p>“I don’t really know myself”, she sighed at some point. “I know the place where I am supposed to Apparate to. It is somewhere in Bulgaria. But they will take you from there to the castle.”</p><p>“But you have been there, haven’t you?”</p><p>“ No one is allowed to know where it is exactly. No one is supposed to find it. If everything goes right, they will find you.”</p><p>She left him at an inn in the village after they had Apparated there. As a goodbye, she offered him her hand. He took it and bowed slightly, as he had learned from his tutor in Berlin. “Thank you for everything, Frau Meyer.”</p><p>“No need to thank me. I brought you here and now it is your responsibility to use the opportunity you were given.” Her gaze softened again, as it had in her study the evening before. “You wouldn’t have been happy on that mountain. You wouldn’t have been happy with <em>him</em>.”</p><p>Gellert shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”</p><p>She smiled crookedly. “Good luck, Gellert Grindelwald.”</p><p>And with that, she was gone, leaving him alone, with now one he knew, in some village somewhere in Bulgaria. He sat down on a chair and it dawned upon him that he was now utterly alone in the world.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was picked up, just as she had told him. After maybe half an hour of helplessly sitting around, his new suitcase standing next to him, the door opened and an old, shriveled, gnome-like man limped in and directly over to him.</p><p>“You are Gellert Grindelwald?”, he asked in German with a strong Slavic accent. “I am Bogomil and I am to take you to Durmstrang.”</p><p>He later learned that he was the caretaker, a good-natured and kind old wizard. They took a carriage, as any magical transport into the school was impossible. It took them almost three hours, and Gellert, who had been determined to memorize the way, lost track of the countless twists and turns of the road.</p><p>“You will find many new friends here”, Bogomil said kindly while the carriage was rumbling along the uneven road. “This is the best place in Europe to learn magic, believe me. The best school.”</p><p>“So… are there others?”, asked Gellert. It had not even occurred to him that there might be others, it had been to hard to believe there was even one.</p><p>“Yes, yes, of course… Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, they even have some new school in America now… but trust me, my boy, there is no better place to learn magic, to learn <em>all </em>the magic, in all the world. You have come to the right place.”</p><p>…</p><p>The first few weeks were all a blur in Gellert’s memory, there were so many new impressions that his mind had troubles keeping up, just like in Berlin. He breathed in the fresh mountain air every morning when he opened his window, and never complained of the cold, which he was used to. There were so many students, people from all kinds of places-- blond, sturdy Bulgarians, neat and tidy Prussian Germans, Austro-Hungarians, Ottoman Turks, Russians. The first thing they all learned was a translation charm, though Gellert found that he could communicate with many using his native German, and he was glad that he had been taught to hide his Swiss German accent so well. Soon, however, along with mastering all the spells, he started studying every language that he could, and he found himself a teacher for every one. Alexei taught him Russian and patiently watched him draw the lines of the Cyrillic alphabet, Mehmet introduced him to the Turkish language and the intricate Arabic letters he used to write it. Gellert pestered some of his teachers for extra lessons in French and English and listened to their stories about their time in Paris or London. Along with his magical education, he felt this was equally important. Language, he realized, was an irreplaceable tool; it formed a connection between him and his fellow students, and even though he couldn’t say he completely mastered all of them, he noticed that he used the translation charm less and less. There was something compelling about the way people’s eyes lit up when he used their native language to talk to them, the way they immediately opened up and warmed to him, the way they <em>liked him. </em></p><p>This was something entirely new to him, the feeling of affection and admiration, and it warmed him like the sun. He did all he could to become a popular student, and his new object of study were people; how to read them, how to sniff out their deepest wishes and secrets, how to make them do the things that he wanted them to do. It was surprisingly easy. He had never thought he would become a people person, given that cows and an old, violent man had been his only companions for years.</p><p>He also discovered another benefit of his new knowledge of foreign languages: he was able to read many more of the countless books in the huge library that would have been formerly inaccessible to him. It was in one of those books that he found the old and forbidden spells that would get him into trouble later-- but for now he was simply intoxicated by the vast knowledge that presented itself to him, and he felt drunk on opportunities and possibilities.</p><p>“What about… the Dark Arts?”, Albus interrupted him and lifted a heavy hand to brush away a strand of hair that had dropped down into Gellert’s eyes. He didn’t seem to be able to keep his hands to himself, always touching some part of Gellert’s body.</p><p>“What about them?”</p><p>“You said… well, I’ve heard… that you practice them at Durmstrang. Things we were forbidden to do at Hogwarts. And I’ve heard rumors in the village that you got expelled because of them?”</p><p>Gellert noticed a flash of fascination on Albus’ face. He was well aware that this dark, hidden part of his past was part of what drew Albus to him in the first place. The handsome, pleasing, rule-abiding boy who had achieved every prize and award there was to win at Hogwarts, had never overstepped the line, had never flirted with evil. Gellert somehow envied this moral compass that Albus followed, something that he had never had. Where he grew up, all kind of magic had been considered evil after all, so he never had to draw a line, doing magic itself was the line he had had to cross. But he wasn’t going to deny Albus the very thing that seemed to fuel his fascination with him. This was what he was best at, after all: to figure out what people wanted to see in him, what people wanted from him, what people wanted him to<em> be.</em></p><p>He stole a feather-light kiss from Albus, a promise of what there was to come.</p><p>“So what is it, then, that you consider <em>dark, </em>my lovely Albus?”, he whispered and noticed Albus’ eyes widening with thrill.</p><p>“Well, I don’t know… things that are evil, things that… well, I don’t know, maybe things you do to hurt people or manipulate them…”</p><p>Gellert smiled with malice.</p><p>“And there, Albus, lies the problem. You, for all the <em>good </em>and <em>faultless </em>education you have enjoyed, cannot even define what you call ‘dark’ or ‘evil’.” It felt thrilling to have Albus’ full attention, to feel his mesmerized gaze on him. He could have gone on talking for hours. “It’s what my teacher used to say: At other schools, they learn ‘Defense against the Dark Arts’, but how can you defend yourself against a thing you do not even know? How are you going to defend yourself against a spell that you have never cast? Knowledge is power, Albus. Being afraid makes you weak and helpless. To be strong, you need to confront your fears, embrace them. There is darkness in all of us, but is it going to vanish because we ignore it, push it down to deep places where it festers and destroys us?”</p><p>He felt Albus’ excited breath on his lips. There was clear arousal in their kiss now.</p><p>“Maybe what you consider ‘dark’ is simply something that is hard to explain, or hard to control. Something unknown, something that <em>other people </em>tell you not to touch. Hurt people, you say-- even when doing good things you can sometimes hurt people. Manipulate them-- maybe sometimes they need some persuasion to do the right thing?”</p><p>“But there are some things clearly wrong”, Albus breathed after their lips had parted. “The Cruciatus Curse… the Killing Curse… Or, say, Blood Magic…”</p><p>Gellert smiled with amusement. “My, my, so you <em>do </em> seem to know something about the <em>Dark Arts, </em>as you call them…”</p><p>Albus blushed slightly. “Not really, it’s only what I’ve heard.”</p><p>Gellert rolled onto his back, gazing at the blazing blue sky. “It’s funny that you mention Blood Magic…”</p><p>…</p><p>He remembered running, barefooted, over the green grass, panting hard. There was a pain in his chest that got worse with every second that he kept on running, running for his <em>life. </em>Once he almost dropped the book that he had just risked his neck to obtain. He had not been able to have a proper look at it, but it was definitely written in Old Greek, and he had deciphered the word “blood” before he had heard the sound of footsteps approaching and had to escape. Disappearing with magic would have been detected, so he used the simplest means he could think of: good old running.</p><p>He was sure Professor Draganov had by now discovered the disappearance of the book from his study, as it had been lying openly on his desk, and he had obviously been studying it recently. So he had to hide it before Draganov would figure out who had taken it, as if <em>that </em>would be hard. There was only one student at the whole school who was clever enough to figure out how to break into his study.</p><p>“Grindelwald! Always causing trouble!”, he could hear the hoarse voice in his head and it made him run even faster, even though his lungs were about to blow up.</p><p>Only when he reached the edge of the forest did he stop. Panting, he went to his knees, dropping the heavy leather onto the floor covered in pine needles. When he had finally caught his breath, he turned it around and was able to slowly decipher the title, which was indeed “Blood Magic and Ancient Curses”. His heart leaped with joy and excitement. This was <em>priceless.</em></p><p>“And what have <em>you </em>been up to again, Gellert?”, he suddenly heard a voice that made him almost leap out of his skin.</p><p>“Mehmet”, he breathed, his heart pounding against his ribs. The young man had somehow crept up on him, or maybe had been waiting for him here were they sometimes met to stroll through the forest. Most student refrained from it, as there were said to be dark and evil creatures lurking between the trees, but Gellert had never been afraid of beasts and Mehmet seemed to gain some courage from his presence and never complained. They had become firm friends after their many hours of Turkish lessons, a language that fascinated Gellert greatly. Mehmet was sixteen years old, like Gellert, but was already considerably taller; where Gellert was bright, he was dark, with a pair of brown eyes set into his handsome face and a beard that he was beginning to grow. Despite wearing the school robes like all the other students, Mehmet insisted on wearing his fez, which always amused Gellert.</p><p>Mehmets gaze fell to the book and he knelt next to Gellert to examine it. “What is this?”</p><p>“A book”, Gellert stated.</p><p>“Obviously.”</p><p>Gellert, laughing, grabbed the man’s fez and pulled it down from his head with a swift motion. “Maybe you should learn some Greek as well, then we could read it together.”</p><p>“Maybe you can teach me.”</p><p>“I’ve only just started.”</p><p>Gellert read out the title and translated it into Turkish. Mehmet looked at him, suddenly afraid, and grabbed back his fez to put it back on his head.</p><p>“Gellert, this isn’t good. This is… well, it’s <em>haram.</em>”</p><p>“Isn’t that the word that Muslims use?”</p><p>“It is the word that all Turks use. It is <em>bad. </em>It is <em>forbidden.</em>”</p><p>“How do you know?”, Gellert shrugged. “You haven’t even read it.”</p><p>“They teach all kinds of magic here at this school. Things that they don’t teach at other schools. And even <em>they </em>consider this something that we have to keep away from.”</p><p>“‘Magic is only as bad as the wizard who wields it’“, Gellert cited their Dark Arts teacher, and casually leafed through the book. He would have to devote more time to his Greek now, maybe drop Russian for some time.</p><p>Mehmet got up abruptly. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I know that you are not afraid of anything, Gellert, but there are things you shouldn’t meddle with. <em>This--”</em>, he took the book and shook it vigorously, “will get you into trouble.”</p><p>“It will only if Draganov finds out.”</p><p>“And he <em>will </em>find out. If you don’t give it back I’m going to report on you.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Gellert got up furiously and grabbed back the book from the man he had thought his friend. “What’s wrong with you, Mehmet? It’s not like I’m going to blood curse you behind your back. I’m not going to use any of this on anyone I’m friends with or…”</p><p>“But on the others? You shouldn’t use this on <em>anyone!</em>”</p><p>“Ok, fine”, Gellert said, defensively. “I’m not going to use any of it. I’m only going to read it for educational purposes. Professor Draganov gets to read it, doesn’t he? Why not me?”</p><p>Mehmet looked at him with something like terror in his eyes. “Because… I think you might not be ready for it.”</p><p>Gellert have a mirthless laugh. “And you’re the one to judge this, now?”</p><p>“No, but if these books were here for ‘educational purposes’, they would just place them in the library! Gellert, give it back. I implore you!”</p><p>A plea, then. Something that was harder to resist for Gellert.</p><p>“No”, he said, despite the urge to make his friend happy. There were bigger things at stake.</p><p>“But you…”</p><p>“Mehmet, I’m not going to change my mind. If you want to tell on me, go ahead! I could give a damn about Professor Draganov and the others. I’m only trying to learn things, why don’t you understand! You’re a coward, just like the rest of them!”</p><p>He didn’t look Mehmet in the eyes as he turned around and left, but he heard him whisper behind his back.</p><p>“You made me loose my fear of many things, Gellert, but I’m beginning to become afraid of you.”</p><p>…</p><p>He didn’t tell Albus about that part, not just because of his shame at his friend’s words, but because there had been something that had made his stomach flutter every time he looked into Mehmet’s eyes, dark and deeply sensual, and because of the way he had loved to hear him laugh, loud and hearty. By that time, he had already noticed that he didn’t only feel attraction to girls, but he had put it down to the fact that there were many more boys at the school and he had never liked to be constricted. Besides, there was this other attraction, the attraction of power and might, that had held his attention most of the time.</p><p>He didn’t even tell him about stealing the book, only that he had read it and how it had kindled his interested in Blood Curses, despite not seeing a way to ever execute them.</p><p>Probably he <em>would</em> never have used them, especially not after his fight with Mehmet. He regretted what he had said, especially the part about calling him a coward. The next day, he stopped him after class, when Mehmet was just going to escape without talking to him.</p><p>“Mehmet, I am sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. You’re my… you’re one of my best friends and you are <em>not </em>a coward. It was stupid.”</p><p>He couldn’t look into his eyes, brown and soft and caring. They had the strangest effect on him; sometimes they would soothe him and make him feel safe, sometimes they would make him feel despicable and unworthy of his friendship and trust. Just like now.</p><p>Mehmet took his arm and made him look up at him by lifting his chin with his fingers.</p><p>“Gellert, I only tried to stop you because I care for you. You are reckless, and I like that about you. But you have to know when to stop. Please, get rid of that book. Will you?”</p><p>Gellert nodded reluctantly. “I will, because of our friendship. I almost spit my lungs out for it, but anyway…”</p><p>Mehmet released him with a happy little laugh that made Gellert think how boring and insignificant that book really was.</p><p>…</p><p>It was later that same day that he was planning on returning the book. He had taken it with him on his trip to the library to study, and thought about how he could slip into Draganov’s study unseen. The problem still occupied his mind when he felt someone drop down into the chair beside him, and raised his head to look at the person. It happened to be Ognyan, a tall and pale Bulgarian who was almost as pale as Gellert himself, but had a pair of fiery gold-brown eyes, instead of Gellert’s mismatched ones.</p><p>“Gellert. I thought you could help me with some of my work for Transformation. No one seems to be able to do this week’s spell. But you, the school genius…”</p><p>“Are you mocking me?”, Gellert asked and threw down the quill he had held in his hand to pretend he was working diligently. He never quite knew what to make of Ognyan, who had a casual manner that could be either read as good-natured or provoking.</p><p>Ognyan raised his eyebrow. “I’m not. I’m serious, Gellert, I need your help.” He leaned forward until their faces were almost touching.</p><p>“You know that Professor Carbonneau needs some excuse to let me fail this year. I’m telling you. He is a bitter little man who hates the world because he was thrown out of Beauxbatons…”</p><p>“Rumours, Ognyan”, Gellert said coldly, thinking with affection of Professor Carbonneau who had taught him all of his French with a surprising patience that he never displayed in the classroom.</p><p>“I’m sure it’s true. Anyway, will you help me?”</p><p>Gellert thought about telling him to piss off, but then again he wanted to be popular and not make enemies. You never knew who could come in handy.</p><p>“Well, I can try. Even though I’m not sure how much I can get into that little brain of yours.”</p><p>Ognyan laughed out loudly and patted him on the shoulder. “If you won’t be able to get it in, no one will!”</p><p>He got more serious and quickly reached out to take one of Gellert’s book, before he could stop him. Of course, he pulled out the Blood Magic spell book. Gellert wasn’t worried too much, as Ognyan wasn’t the most studious of people and probably wouldn’t recognize it anyway. Plus it was written in another language.</p><p>His heart dropped, however, when Ognyan read the title out loud and looked at him surprise. “Where on earth did you get that?”</p><p>“Hush”, Gellert whispered and looked around, relieved that no one else seemed to be around. “I.. I got it from Professor Draganov’s room. I was only going to have a look and bring it back.”</p><p>Ognyan scrutinized him for a moment and Gellert felt his hands shaking. He couldn’t read Ognyan as he could most people; he had no idea if he would jump up and tell on him or just shrug it off as a joke.</p><p>“You realize what Draganov will do to you when he finds out, don’t you?”</p><p>Gellert averted his gaze and looked out of the huge library window. “Probably get me expelled.”</p><p>When he looked back, he saw a mischievous smirk on Ognyans face. “You might as well make it worth it, then!”</p><p>Gellert suddenly remembered his promise to Mehmet and took the book back from Ognyan. “I can’t really read it anyway”, he shrugged, “I’ve only just started to teach myself some Greek from old books, but it probably won’t suffice.”</p><p>“Well, you’re lucky then”, Ognyan said with a twinkle in his eyes. Gellert held his breath. “My mother is Greek and spoke it to me all my life. My grandfather taught me the letters, because she can’t read. For all I can tell this is Ancient Greek, but the words are similar and I might be able to make out the meaning.”</p><p>Gellert felt torn between jumping up from excitement and wondering what this was all about. He didn’t know Ognyan very well and had barely spoken to him previously. Although he seemed like a decent enough person, he had something strange about him and Gellert wasn’t sure whether to trust him.</p><p>“So… what’s in it for you?”, he asked casually.</p><p>Ognyan smiled broadly. “Just teach me that damn Transformation spell.”</p><p>…</p><p>Gellert omitted this part as well, mainly because of what had followed. He only told Albus how he had found a fellow student with some knowledge in Ancient Greek, and how they had studied the book together. Suddenly the burdens of the past felt too heavy, and Gellert was tired. As flattered as he was by Albus’ interest, he just couldn’t go on anymore.</p><p>He knew that more questions would follow, but for now he would have to find a way to avoid them.</p><p>“It’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?”, he whispered.</p><p>“It is <em>hot</em>”, Albus complained and fanned himself with the hand that wasn’t entangled with Gellert’s.</p><p>Gellert got up and reached out for Albus to follow him. “Want to go swimming?”</p><p>There was a small stream nearby, where they had sometimes bathed before. It wasn’t only the cool water that Gellert was looking forward to, but mostly seeing Albus strip off his clothes and feeling his naked skin against his own. And it was what he got.</p><p>It was far outside the village and few people ventured there, which was why they often went there in the first place. They could kiss and touch each other as they pleased, without the fear of being discovered. After they had gotten rid of their clothes, Gellert did just that.</p><p>“We just did it yesterday”, Albus mumbled when he started kissing his neck and wrapping his arms around him from behind.</p><p>“So?”, Gellert replied, not stopping what he was doing, slightly biting into the soft skin just below Albus’ ear. His hands roamed over every centimeter that he could reach, memorizing Albus’ body like a map, marking the spots that drew extended moans from him or made his breath hitch. “Are you tired of me already?”</p><p>Albus groaned loudly as Gellert’s hands found the center of his pleasure. His cock was already standing hard.</p><p>“Turn around, Albus”, he whispered, suddenly feeling the urgent need to look at his face, to drink in his arousal. No one was as beautiful as Albus in this state; he had seen it many times. He could have watched him bite his lips and gasp and throw his head back in pleasure for <em>hours </em>without tiring of the sight. Albus did as told and Gellert pressed some feverish, urgent kisses onto his lips, cheeks and eyelids. The bright blue eyes flew open.</p><p>They sank back into the cold water, floating just below the surface, and Gellert wasn’t sure if his goosebumps were caused by the cool or by Albus’ hardness pressing into his thigh. They wrapped their arms tight around each other, pulling each other as close as physically possible. Their mouths met hungrily and Gellert pushed his tongue deep into Albus’ mouth, wanting to leave his mark, wanting to <em>possess, </em>never quite getting enough, touching him until they both couldn’t take it anymore.</p><p>Gellert pulled him out of the water and made love to him on the riverbank, the hot sun burning into his back. But after they had both reached their peak and collapsed onto the pricking grass, he suddenly felt a rush of panic taking hold of him when he remembered how things always came to an end, how they never lasted, always fell apart. <em>This </em>he could not bear to break apart. He had to find a way to make it last forever, because he would just shatter if it didn’t. This time he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. This time he was prepared.</p><p>…</p><p>Unsurprisingly, it had been Ognyan who had introduced him to the pleasures of the flesh. It came with the temptation of the forbidden book, which, of course, Gellert didn’t return to Professor Draganov that day, nor any day after that. He told himself that it was fate, that he had met Ogynan on that day in the library for a reason, and that same belief pulled him to him in a physical way.</p><p>The first night that they met in secret, it was down in the dungeons, where there were several unlocked rooms whose intended purpose Gellert had never really bothered finding out. They were sometimes used for secret nightly rendezvous, so he figured they could easily pretend their meeting was some youthful mischief in case they were caught. He had put a concealment charm on the book so it showed a different cover and would hopefully not catch too much attention, because any not-too-skilled wizard would be able to remove it quickly.</p><p>“I wonder why Professor Draganov hasn’t come looking for the book yet”, Gellert wondered aloud when they sat down next to a small fire they had magically lightened. It was early spring and still bitterly cold during the nights, even though Gellert had never been bothered by the cold. Still, they needed some light for the reading and he had noticed Ognyan shivering every so slightly.</p><p>“He either hasn’t noticed yet, which is highly unlikely, or… he wasn’t really allowed to have the book himself”, Ognyan whispered, sitting so close to Gellert that their shoulders were touching. Gellert found this oddly comforting, while his heart was pounding hard in his chest. They were about to <em>really </em>discover what was in the book, after he had only been able to make out some of the words by himself.</p><p>“You mean…”</p><p>“It is pretty dark magic, Gellert. You know what they always keep saying… ‘we will teach you all kind of magic, but never Blood Magic.’ How did you know he had it in the first place?”</p><p>“I didn’t. He only hinted that… that he had access to books they didn’t put into the library. I got curious and broke into his study a couple of days ago.”</p><p>Ognyan’s eyes seemed to glimmer reflecting the fire. His fingers gingerly touched the leather cover and opened the first pages.</p><p>“Can you read it?”, Gellert breathed.</p><p>“This is the introduction. ‘Blood is the source of life, it holds a person’s essence, a person’s soul… obtaining someone’s blood means obtaining a part of them, and a wizard…’, well, the word they’re using is more like ‘mage’, really… “a mage who is skilled in the art of Blood Magic could be offered no greater tool to work with. Whether it is his own blood that he offers to enhance his magical abilities, or someone else’s blood that he uses to reshape them to his liking or to bind them to him… the power he is given will almost rival that of a God.”</p><p>Gellert shivered, not sure whether it was with delight or terror.</p><p>“Gods are the Muggle’s creation”, he said.</p><p>“Are they?”, Ognyan whispered. “In Ancient Greece, they didn’t believe in divine, omnipotent entities sitting in Heaven and deciding the course of the world. Their Gods were very much like humans, subjected to emotions and constantly battling each other for dominance. They could as well just have been very powerful wizards and witches.”</p><p>“Anyway, I don’t want to talk about theology”, Gellert muttered and yawned to show he was bored. “Let’s get into these spells.”</p><p>…</p><p>They studied the book for hours, Ognyan translating it as best as he could, and Gellert frantically took notes. He wasn’t disappointed: the spells were as magnificent and powerful as he had imagined. There was one on how to subject a person to your control using a drop of their blood, but permanently and unbreakably, without them ever knowing. Unlike the Imperius Curse, the person affected would never realize being under a curse and have no memory of it. There was a harmless protection charm against the Evil Eye using a drop of one’s own blood, a protection charm one could cast over their own family, a blood potion to ensure a person’s everlasting love and devotion. An instruction on how to make a blood pact, which, according to the book, was “one of the most easily obtainable spells, as it is mutual and has to be based on affection and love of the participants for each other.” Gellert rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Why would I voluntarily bind myself to another person? What’s the purpose if that? Let’s skip this one.”</p><p>Ognyan laughed. “It seems to me that you have never been in love. Probably this is something you want to do when you truly love someone-- to magically consolidate your connection.”</p><p>Gellert rolled his eyes. “What’s the next one?”</p><p>“Oh, this is interesting!”, Ognyan exclaimed after he had turned the page. “Blood Magic can be used to obtain the Sight if you weren’t born with it."</p><p>Gellert’s heart leaped. “This is amazing! Let me see!”</p><p>He tried to pull the book to him, but Ognyan wouldn’t let it go. “You can’t read it, stupid.”</p><p>It was late and Gellert was dizzy and almost drunk on sleeplessness, so he couldn’t really think straight anymore. He felt Ognyan’s breath on his face as he tried to wrestle the book from him and suddenly their lips were touching. High on excitement and shaking with some kind of arousal from all the dangerous and thrilling new possibilities that had just opened up to him, Gellert gave in immediately. He didn’t know whether it was really Ognyan who caused this feeling of elation or the promise of power he had just tasted. His whole body was humming and he felt the desperate urge to act upon it, and Ognyan provided the release he felt he needed. Kissing back ferociously, even though he had never done it, had never felt a tender, hesitant first kiss before, he let Ognyan climb on top of him and gave himself to the roaming hands that crept under his shirt.</p><p>He wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t gentleness that Gellert wanted anyway. Grinding into each other, he felt a passion rising within him that he had never known before, and, with the last sane bit of his mind, he realized: <em>So this is what I’ve been missing. </em>Physical pleasure had never been high on his agenda, it had been his mind he had always been focused on; but this felt intoxicating and it didn’t even really matter who it was that was devouring him, leaving bite marks on his throat, panting into his neck, grabbing his hips, bruising them. He knew from that moment that he would be addicted to this, just as he was to knowledge and power.</p><p>He came with a strangled moan and pushed Ognyan off him, laughing. The world was such a wonderful place.</p><p>“Let’s do this again tomorrow”, he said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They returned to the dungeon many more nights after this, whenever they both could make it. Gellert never knew if Ognyan came for the mischief, the spells, or for him, but he got all of it, every time. Sometimes they would fuck even before they opened the book and just sit in front of the fire afterwards, fully naked. Gellert would explore every part of Ognyans pale skin, kissing, sucking and licking his way around until the boy would be a panting mess under his mouth. This, Gellert realized, was power as well, a way of getting the other one into submission. It wasn’t affection he felt for Ognyan, but he couldn’t get enough of his body, even though he sometimes closed his eyes and thought of other eyes, darker ones, and a soft beard, wondering how it would feel on his skin.</p><p>He slept little these days, but it didn’t seem to matter. Sleep wasn’t what he needed anymore, he was running high on pleasure and the promise of power and magic. During daytime, he was the bright and ingenious student he had always been, but the spells they learned in class bored him. They were so easy and insignificant, never a challenge. He lived for the evenings, when he would quickly eat his supper, say goodbye to Mehmet and disappear with the excuse that he had to study.</p><p>One night, after they had finished reading through all of the spells together, Gellert made his decision.</p><p>“I’m going to try it. I’m going to try some of them.”</p><p>It was the first time something like fear crept across Ognyan’s face.</p><p>“Are you serious?”</p><p>When Gellert nodded, he shook his read. “You’re crazy, Gellert. It is one thing stealing a book to get some <em>idea </em>of what is possible, or to actually act and <em>do </em>these spells…”</p><p>Gellert started to get annoyed. Why kept everyone telling him how <em>dangerous </em>it was, what he should and shouldn’t do, what was right and what was wrong? There were these powerful spells right under his nose, ready to be used, and all everyone could think of was how to keep him from reaching his highest potential.</p><p>“Well, if you don’t want to, it’s your choice”, he sighed resignedly. “Thanks for helping me, though. It was an interesting… collaboration.”</p><p>He raised his eyes and shot Ognyan a glance, making it clear that their “collaboration” would be over from this point on if he didn’t choose to help him anymore. It would be a pity, definitely, but he was young and there would be others. To his surprise, it seemed to work. Ognyan thought for a moment.</p><p>“Well then, maybe we can try one of the easy ones. Maybe we can try them on animals. Something like spiders or…”</p><p>“That’s the spirit!”, Gellert cried out with enthusiasm. Ognyan, however, didn’t seem comfortable in his skin, but they parted with the promise to meet out in the woods the day after, as it would be risky to try this kind of magic within the school walls.</p><p>When he crept back into the dormitory and just started drifting off to sleep, he heard a quiet voice from the bed next to him.</p><p>“Where have you been, Gellert?”</p><p>“Mehmet?”, he replied, startled. “Are you still awake?”</p><p>“Shhh, you will wake everyone up. I know you’ve been up to something, you rush off every evening and I don’t get to see you until late at night, sometimes almost morning, when you sneak back into here.”</p><p>“I told you, I’ve been studying…”, Gellert whispered.</p><p>“Studying what, exactly?”</p><p>“Normal things, Mehmet. You know I want to learn, being the best student at this school doesn’t come from nothing.”</p><p>“You used to be the best student without going down into the dungeons every night, Gellert.”</p><p>“How do you…”</p><p>“I followed you once. I’m sorry, I... I was worried.”</p><p>“So much for trust between friends!”</p><p>“But you’ve betrayed my trust, haven’t you, Gellert? I noticed Ognyan sneaking into the room as well. He has been having that same wild and uncontrolled look as you lately. What have you been up to?”</p><p>“Things you wouldn’t understand.”</p><p>“Have you given back the book yet?”</p><p>There was silence, only the quiet breathing and sleeping sounds of the other students.</p><p>“I haven’t had the chance”, he mumbled. Somehow he found he couldn’t lie to Mehmet, even though lying was something that usually came easy to him.</p><p>Silence again. Gellert let out a quiet sigh. Why did he even care?</p><p>“Mehmet, please. I…”</p><p>“Let us get some sleep, Gellert.”, Mehmet interrupted him, suddenly impatient. “Unlike you, apparently, I need it.”</p><p>All the excitement he had been feeling was suddenly dampened, and Mehmet’s words kept reverberating in his head when he sank into an uneasy sleep.</p><p>…</p><p>He would only try it <em>once, </em>he told himself, only to have an idea if it actually worked, if blood really was the powerful tool the book described. Then, he would make good on his promise to Mehmet and finally give the book back, or get rid of it, burn it, whatever he wanted him to do. He knew, though, that such an opportunity might never present itself to him again, and he intended to use it. Nothing bad would happen and he would just go back to his boring classes after that.</p><p>Ognyan seemed to have shed all his doubts about their plan and appeared at the edge of the forest at the time they had agreed upon. His face didn’t show any sign of concern.</p><p>It all worked marvelously. They ventured into the woods, and, as Ognyan had suggested, caught some bats and small mice, extracted their blood, drew some symbols into the dirt and muttered the spells written down in Ancient Greek. After that, they could steer them around like puppeteers.</p><p>“You see? Nothing special”, Gellert said with delight in his voice while he was waving around his wand, making his bat fly back and forth.</p><p>“That was easy”, Ognyan replied, sounding relieved.</p><p>Despite his words, Gellert was beyond thrilled. It had been easy enough, but he expected it to be much harder to use on humans. It had been his first experiment, but he realized there and then that there would be more.</p><p>They released the animals from their spells and Gellert spread his cloak on the forest floor.</p><p>“So… have you ever made love in the middle of the night in the forest?”</p><p>“No”, Ognyan replied and dropped down next to him. “Though, as I have just shown, I am always open to new experiences.”</p><p>“They say curiosity killed the cat”, Gellert said, teasingly, running his finger down Ognyan’s chest.</p><p>“Hearing that from you, of all people!”, Ognyan exclaimed, laughing. “You’re the most curious person I know!”</p><p>Gellert didn’t feel like talking anymore, he felt strung tight and jittery, aching for release. Pushing Ognyan back onto his back, he straddled him and pressed their groins together.</p><p>“Gellert”, he heard Ognyan breath and it was intoxicating, being here with him, being here at all, making love after what they had just discovered together. He stripped totally naked in the flickering fire light, and straddled Ognyan’s gleaming body again, opening his belt and freeing his cock that was already fully hard.</p><p>All they had ever done was rub and grind and kiss, but Gellert felt that this wouldn’t be enough tonight, so he did what he could do to prepare himself and then sank down onto Ognyan’s dripping length, reeling from the pain and the pleasure that surged through him like fire. It felt so good and so wrong at the same time and when Ognyan grabbed his cock and made him come, he felt as if he at once soared up into Heaven and descended down into Hell.</p><p>Ognyan looked at him incredulously when he got off him, both still catching their breath.</p><p>“Are you planning to kill me? I felt like you just did.”</p><p>“Oh, and what a sweet death that would be”, said Gellert, laughing. He dropped down onto his back, feeling pine needles pricking his naked skin, and starred up to the faintly rustling leaves. There were all kinds of sounds coming from the forest and he knew that he should be scared, that this was what a<em> normal</em> person would feel, but he only felt invincible and strong.</p><p>“Gellert”, Ognyan whispered after some time during which they had been lying next to each other, lost in their thoughts. “We cannot go on like this. Where is this going to end?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”, Gellert asked. <em>That again.</em> “Do you think it’s wrong that we quench each other’s thirst? I, for my part, am enjoying this greatly.”</p><p>“I’m not talking about that. I mean this book. Gellert, we have done everything that you wanted. We studied every single spell in it, you probably all know them by heart already. We have even tried one, as you wished. I keep telling myself that what we did was harmless, but… don’t tell me you didn’t feel it. This magic, it feels different. It feels like… it’s sucking you in and it’s not going to let you go.”</p><p>Gellert was silent, at loss for words. What Ognyan had just described was exactly what he had felt.</p><p>“Please, Gellert. Let us stop this.”</p><p>For a few minutes, none of them spoke, and the sounds of rustling leaves intensified as a gush of wind blew through the branches.</p><p>“Alright”, Gellert finally said. “I will stop this, but… there is one last spell I want to try. And I need you for it, because I cannot cast it alone. Please, help me with this last one, Ognyan, and I promise, I <em>swear </em>on all that is dear to me, that afterwards I will get rid of the book and we will never speak of it again. What do you say?”</p><p>Ognyan pondered this for a while. “One last spell?”, he asked tentatively.</p><p>“Yes, only one. You won’t have to spill anyone’s blood but mine.”</p><p>“So… which one?”</p><p>Gellert took a deep breath. “Do you remember the spell to obtain the Sight? It makes you a Seer. They used it at the Oracle of Delphi, at least that’s what is written in the book.” He sat up, excited again. That was it, that was what he needed from this whole story. Afterwards, it wouldn’t matter, he would just give back the book and still be able to keep something from it.</p><p>He smiled into the dark night. “I always wanted to have the Sight.”</p><p>…</p><p>This part he told Albus, not really knowing why. Maybe he finally needed to share this with someone, what he had done to himself on order to become the person he was today. Maybe he wanted to be truly seen, with all that came with it. He never mentioned Ognyan’s name, didn’t say that he had slept with him, but he told Albus that he had had help.</p><p>Albus’ bright blue eyes widened in disbelieve. “You have the Sight?” he whispered.</p><p>They were sitting in Gellert’s room this time, or rather the room that his great-aunt had prepared for him. Albus lay slumped on Gellert’s bed and Gellert was sitting on the only chair next to a small wooden desk facing the window. It had been several days since they had last spoken about Gellert’s past, and Albus had not asked. Maybe he had felt that Gellert needed some time, but the latter had still pondered on all that had happened not so long ago. Somehow, it felt like years had passed, when it had been only several months.</p><p>“I do”, he said. “I made a lot of sacrifices to obtain it. It’s not an easy thing.”</p><p>Albus looked at him in disbelief, his auburn locks swinging from side to side when he shook his head. “I never thought it was something you could <em>magically induce. </em>I always thought you were either born with it or not.”</p><p>“That’s what I though, too… until I found the spell. You would be surprised what is possible with magic, Albus. All you have to do is look in the right places. There is so much magic that will never be used and never discovered, because it is held from the people who would have to power to wield it.”</p><p>Albus was fascinated and that was what Gellert loved most about him-- that he could be so easily excited. His mind was like a volcano, always bubbling, and always about to break out. He had never thought he would finally find his equal. Yet here he was and Gellert knew that he wouldn’t be here if that fateful day had never happened.</p><p>“Could I… could I get it, too? The Sight, I mean?”</p><p>Gellert shook his head vigorously. “No. No, Albus. Believe me, it is not something you want. I made that decision and not I have to live with it… but it isn’t something that I would want for you. It’s great and terrible at the same time.”</p><p>He fell silent. It was impossible to tell him the whole truth, what it had cost him.</p><p>…</p><p>It seemed like a terribly complicated spell, so it took several days for them to prepare.</p><p>“You have to kill an owl, extract it’s blood and drink it. Really, Gellert? This sounds disgusting.”</p><p>“An owl? Why an owl?”</p><p>“It says… The owl is considered the animal of wisdom. ‘It is associated with the Sight for its ability to see in the dark.’”</p><p>Gellert was silent. The prospect of drinking blood didn’t sound too appealing, but he didn’t mind it too much. It would be over quick.</p><p>“Alright. What else?”</p><p>“You are not allowed to eat for three days before the ritual and not sleep for two.”</p><p>“Not sleep for two nights?”</p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>“Well, you’ll have to keep me company, then.”</p><p>It would be hard, but he could do it. Sleep and food had been very low on his list if priorities during the last couple of weeks anyway. He had certainly lost weight and noticed his clothes hanging loose on his body where before they had fitted, and when he looked into the mirror he could see his cheekbones protruding. When this was over, he told himself, he would eat and drink and sleep again, would go for healthy walks in the forest with Mehmet, meet with his other friends and go back to studying languages and work on his popular image.</p><p>But now, there was something to be done, and he prepared meticulously. He took all the preparations, didn’t touch a bite of food for three days, which obviously got some of his friends worried. Effi, a bookish German girl with dark locks, offered to brew him a potion to restore his well-being and Alexei, his Russian teacher, told him of an old Russian spell he had discovered that would make him “as good as new”. He rejected all of them, even though he was touched by their concern that made it even harder to go on with his plan. Only Ognyan kept silent and distant and didn’t seem to be able to look at him. Mehmet had almost entirely stopped speaking to him, apart from few polite words in the dining hall and in class in order to keep up appearances. He only commented repeatedly on his refusal to eat for several days, as if he felt that there was something more behind it than an upset stomach.</p><p>Ognyan claimed to be busy during the two days before they planned to do the ritual (which was how Ognyan had begun to call it instead of the simple word “spell” that Gellert preferred, since it didn’t sound all too menacing), and they didn’t meet at night. Gellert had hoped for him to help him pass the time, and found the task of keeping awake without him almost impossible. The first night he spent in the library, re-reading the book and doing some other studying, and he got through it well enough. The next day he even felt kind of elated, the sleep deprivation making him dizzy and lightheaded, but somehow his mind felt sharp and focused. He could do this, it would be only one more night.</p><p>The second night, however, was much harder. After feeling that his body was all to eager to slip into sleep any minute, he left the castle and wandered around in the moonlight, his sleep-deprived mind playing mean tricks on him so he would see shadows moving and hear sounds that made him jump. For the first time, he felt scared, and wondered whether all of this was worth it. He kept telling himself that this was how lower people would feel and that being great came at a cost. A cost he was more than willing to pay.</p><p>His stomach rumbled and he was desperate to eat, to sleep, to find relief, to just lie down and let all his bodily urges have their way with him. The moon cast an eerie light and he felt like crying; he needed some kind of comfort that just didn’t come.</p><p>The next day was torture. When he splashed some cold water into his face and looked into the mirror in the morning, he was shocked.</p><p>
  <em>I look like a corpse.</em>
</p><p>The hardest part was getting through the day without anyone taking him to the infirmary. He just couldn’t go there, they would probably see what was wrong and put him into bed with a sleeping charm, or make him drink some potion, all of which would destroy his plans.</p><p>Instead of lunch, he went out and took a walk, and the fresh spring air relieved his spinning head to some extend, but suddenly he buckled over and started throwing up clear liquid, the only thing he had been consuming for the last three days.</p><p>Panting, he fell on the green meadow and turned onto his back. He just wanted to lie here and close his eyes. There wasn’t any strength in him left. But then he told himself off for being so weak. There were only a couple of hours left. He had never been so close. If he gave up now, all would have been for nothing.</p><p>So he got up, slowly, even though it seemed to be the hardest thing he had ever done, and went back to class.</p><p>…</p><p>He didn’t quite know how he made it until evening, but when the sun had set, he found himself in the same spot he had met with Ognyan about a week before and where they had agreed to meet again. His vision was blurred, and he didn’t see that Ognyan stepped into the clearing until he spoke.</p><p>“You look like shit.”</p><p>Gellert let out a hollow laugh. “I’ve never felt better.”</p><p>“I have brought this for you. I figured you weren’t in the state to… get it yourself.”</p><p>Gellert managed to focus on the object he was holding in front of him. It was a cage containing a snow-white owl, a beautiful animal that shrieked in terror when Gellert looked at it. Maybe it felt what was about to happen.</p><p>“Thank you”, Gellert got out weakly. Then, he summoned his last bit of strength and stood up from where he had been sitting on the forest floor.</p><p>“Let us get this done then.”</p><p>They scratched a huge circle into the dirt and added all the symbols described in the book. Gellert sat down inside of it and suddenly felt strangely invigorated. The old excitement had returned and seemed to get out a reserve of energy that had been hidden inside of him.</p><p>“It states explicitly that the ritual should never be done alone”, Ognyan translated from the book. “Because of… well, someone has to cast the spell and… because of the effect. Whatever that means.”</p><p>“Well, that’s why you’re here. What do we do next?”</p><p>What followed was probably the hardest part. Ognyan killed the panicking owl with a casual “Avada Kedavra” that they had been taught in class, and cut its throat with a cutting spell. He had even thought to bring a chalice that he used to catch the dripping blood.</p><p>“Thank you”, Gellert mumbled, “I would have never been able to do this without you.”</p><p>“You did the hardest part”, Ognyan said simply as he handed him the chalice. “Staying awake and not eating for days… I thought you were about to fall apart.”</p><p>“I feel like I am”, Gellert said and took the first sip. The taste was metallic and bitter, and the first gulp made his empty stomach clench with revulsion. A wave of nausea overcame him, but he forced himself to go on drinking to the last drop.</p><p>“Oh, this is horrible”, he groaned with his eyes closed. “Let’s go on or I will throw it all up again.”</p><p>“Now… it’s the time when we need <em>your </em>blood”, Ognyan whispered, “and offer it to the fire.”</p><p>“Easy enough”, Gellert replied, feeling that some drops of blood more couldn’t hurt. He somehow felt like something had already happened, his body was trembling and when he closed his eyes he could see blurry images moving and dancing.</p><p>Ognyan knelt next to him. “Give me your arm”, he said calmly. Gellert stretched out his right arm and hissed with pain as Ognyan used the same spell he had used to cut the owl’s throat.</p><p>It was a deep cut and his blood started to well up and drip down into the chalice that Ognyan held under his arm. The dizzy feeling intensified and Gellert found it almost impossible to keep his eyes open or even keep his sitting position. His eyes dropped shut again and again and he fought hard against a shadow that wanted to engulf him.</p><p>“I will pour your blood into the fire now”, he heard Ognyan’s voice from far away, and that was probably what he did, because Gellert heard the flames crackle and hiss and some strange cracking sounds.</p><p>“Now you cast the spell, right?”, Gellert breathed feebly, just wanting everything to be over.</p><p>“Yes, now is the time. You best lie back, Gellert.”</p><p>He did as told, ready to give in. It was almost done. The forest floor felt cold against his skin, some wet leaves sticking to his back. Suddenly the cold became almost unbearable and he started shaking, hard, almost like spasms taking over his body. From far away, he heard a voice reading some enchantment, the same words, many times, over and over again.</p><p>Then, everything exploded.</p><p>…</p><p>It was like his eyes had flown open, <em>truly </em>flown open at last; eyes inside of him that had been closed the whole time. A stream of images flew by before him and he couldn’t take them all in, so fast they went by.</p><p>He caught sight of a woman, holding up a bloody, new-born baby with mismatched eyes, crying: “Look at his eyes! It is the sign of the devil!”; he saw a young man with auburn hair, beautiful, crying in despair. He saw a symbol, a triangle containing a circle and a vertical line running through it, he saw himself drawing that symbol, over and over again, on a piece of parchment. A sweet looking girl, wandering around a dark hallway, crying “Albus, Albus”; a flash of green light. The boy with auburn hair again, smiling and laughing, saying his name, making his heart leap out of his chest; himself facing the same boy, their hands entwined, two drops of blood rising and intermingling.<em> No, not blood, not blood again.</em> His mother, looking at him with sadness, his father, with fury in his eyes, about to strike. An old man, lying in a bed, about to die; a crowd in a mausoleum, crying his name, a rush of feeling, a feeling of power at being loved and feared at the same time; blue fire engulfing him, a dragon rising into the night. An unbearable sadness; an older man, with graying hair and the same piercing blue eyes as the boy with auburn hair, pointing a wand at him, shouting “I don’t want to do this, Gellert!”; himself, sitting on a bed in a small cell; a boy with a lightening-shaped scar on his forehead; a man, or something resembling a man, with an eerie face and snakelike eyes, red eyes; an old wizard with long silver hair and beard, looking at him with regret and sorrow; the same wizard, falling and falling and falling; his own grief and despair; the snake-like eyes again, seeking him, <em>wanting </em>something…</p><p>It didn’t stop, it just didn’t stop. Gellert had his eyes shut tight, but the visions kept coming, like a dam that had broken, the water thundering down and drowning him. He saw Mehmet’s face now and wanted to reach out for it, not let it disappear again; he cried his name, wanted him to stay with him so badly. The face became that of the auburn-haired man again, staring at him him adoration, saying his name quietly, with tenderness: “Gellert…” It became louder, a cry, “Gellert!”, with panic now. He felt someone grabbing him, and didn’t know whether this was real now; felt himself lifted into the air and floating; heard a voice. <em>W</em> <em>hat have you done? </em> There was another voice, screaming, maybe his own. He couldn’t take it anymore, he felt himself being dropped onto a soft surface, and he finally wanted so sleep, to finally sleep and close his eyes, but for all he closed his eyes he couldn’t stop s <em>eeing. </em>He felt a hand stroking his forehead and saying his name softly, and he wanted it to be real, not be a vision again, but how could he ever know? The taste of blood again, bitter and mixed with bile, he was throwing up all the owl blood and felt even sicker at the taste. There was the snake-eyed man in front of him again and he felt the evil emanating from him, a powerful, frightening evil. Fear made him grab his wand in a swift motion and mutter the curse that came into his mind first, a curse he had memorized by heart recently, and he heard a cry of agony, only the voice sounded familiar, a voice he loved and longed for. Trying hard to regain his senses, he managed to push himself up from the bed he was lying on, trying to see what was before him. The visions subsided somewhat, or at least he thought so, but he was never sure whether what he was seeing was real.</p><p>There was the Durmstrang headmaster, Krasimir Ivanov, a menacing man of unknown age, probably beyond his seventies, wearing his usual fur hat and large silk robes, the black eyes looking out from his bearded face in dismay. Next to him, Professor Draganov, bending down over someone, muttering spells like a madman…</p><p>Gellert was overwhelmed by darkness now, and he saw a large skull rising into the sky, a serpent crawling out of its mouth like a tongue, then he heard people screaming in horror. Everyone was running now, and he wondered if he should be running too, he tried to, but found himself immobilized. He was scared, he needed to get away, he started to panic, whimpering desperately.</p><p>“Easy, boy”. There was a cool hand on his forehead and he was quite sure it was real. He forced his eyes open and could make out a dimly lit room, but it was too difficult to focus, so he couldn’t make out which one. Instead, he tried to see who the man sitting next to his bed was, and to his surprise he realized it was Draganov, the teacher he had stolen the book from. Moaning, as another vision was forcing its way into his mind, he let his head sink back into the pillow.</p><p>When he surfaced again, Draganov was still sitting there, his silver curls descending to his shoulders, the beard on his chin trembling. His eyes, usually bright and full of life, were now watery and red, as if he had been crying.</p><p>“Professor”, he managed to get out. Even speaking was hard. “I’m sorry, I took your book.”</p><p>“I figured as much”, Draganov sighed, his voice trembling just as his chin. “Your friend Ognyan confirmed it. I won’t ask you what you were thinking… You are a clever boy, Gellert, probably the brightest at this whole school. You knew exactly what you were doing.”</p><p>“Only I wasn’t”, Gellert whispered, light and fire dancing before his eyes. “Professor, can you help me? I need to get this… this <em>thing </em>out of my head.”</p><p>Draganov looked at him with regret. “Ognyan tells me you used the Pythia spell?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“That’s what they called the priestesses in the Oracle of Delphi. They unlocked their Sight with the spell you just used. Do you know how dangerous this is? Only one in five women would survive the spell. Or, as we should call it, curse. Most didn’t survive the first minutes. They became overwhelmed with what they saw, present and past and future intermingling, and threw themselves off a cliff; some couldn’t bear the reaction of their blood and set themselves on fire; some just died from the lack of sleep and food. What you did there, my boy, was nothing short of insane, and, at the same time, nothing short of brilliant. If only you had put your gifts at better use. However, the Pythia spell is not reversible. What you have done is permanent.”</p><p>It was almost impossible for Gellert to follow his speech, but he found it got slightly easier to force back the images, or at least divide them from the real images in front of him. He noticed his body was still shaking and he couldn’t make it stop.</p><p>“Ognyan, is he… is he alright?” Only now had the remembered his friend, even if he wasn’t sure if this was the right word for it.</p><p>“Ognyan is unharmed, though he experienced a severe shock. The other boy, however, wasn’t so lucky.”</p><p>Gellert struggled to keep his eyes open. “Other boy?”, he got out after a while.</p><p>“Yes, your other friend. Mehmet. He is still unconscious and at first we thought we would loose him. However, he is of sound constitution and will probably survive this ordeal.”</p><p>Confused, Gellert managed to push himself up slightly. His whole body hurt as if it had been smashed against a rock, especially his head. His vision, his normal vision, was blurry. The other vision was as sharp as a knife.</p><p>“What? Why? He wasn’t even there in the first place.”</p><p>“He was. Apparently he followed Ognyan, knowing that the two of you were up to something. After casting the spell, Ognyan panicked, seeing you writhing and screaming on the floor. He went for help, but Mehmet was already there, using a lifting spell to transport you back to the castle. Who knows if you were still alive without him.”</p><p>Moaning not only with physical pain, but also the pain in his heart at those words, Gellert asked feebly: “And what happened then? Why is he unconscious?”</p><p>“I’m afraid that in your delirium you saw him as someone threatening and threw a curse at him. A horrible blood curse that sends your blood boiling. I recognized it as one of the curses from the book, as I had been studying it before you took the book from my study. Which was lucky, because I knew the counter curse right away. If not, probably Mehmet wouldn’t be with us anymore.”</p><p>An icy feeling seemed to take hold of his body, his chest constricted and it was hard to breath. He saw the mountains of his childhood, with ever present menace. The clouds rushing above them, seasons changing, glaciers melting. With immense willpower, he pulled himself back into the present.</p><p>“Where is he? Can I see him?”</p><p>He was struggling to realize that it had been <em>him, </em>that he had almost killed his friend, the person he had loved above all others during his time here at Durmstrang. The one who had tried to warn him, who had wanted to protect him.</p><p>“You will be able to see him, but before we need to decide what to do with you.”</p><p>It was only then that it dawned upon him that he was in serious trouble. Thinking of Mehmet, he felt it didn’t really matter, he only wanted to see him, to make sure he was alright. Then again, he managed to grasp with the fractions of his mind that were still clinging to reality, that what he had done was something that would result in more than just detention. And this could only mean…</p><p>Right in time the door flew open and here was Headmaster Ivanov again. Striding in with determined steps, he came to a halt in front of Gellert’s bed, next to where Draganov was sitting. Gellert had by now made out that the room there were in was Draganov’s office where it had all begun. He shrank back into his pillow and wanted to close his eyes, but he had figured that keeping them open helped somewhat with keeping the visions at bay, so that they were only a flicker at the back of his head.</p><p>“Gellert Grindelwald”, he thundered, with his deep voice, his dark gaze drilling into Gellert’s eyes painfully, “I know you must be in a miserable state, but we cannot spare you this. What you have done didn’t only break the school rules, but also the laws of every wizard state I can think of. This spell is considered one of the darkest Blood Spells known to wizardkind, as it bends the rules of magic itself. Do you even know what you’ve done by casting it, or rather, letting that poor boy cast it for you? You tried to obtain something that wasn’t yours to begin with. There are people who are born with the Sight and some who weren’t. It is a gift that is bestowed upon them even before birth. Obtaining it magically is like stealing, and it means you will never be able to fully master the Sight as the people who were born with it. It will hunt you, maybe even destroy you. We cannot help you on this journey, for this is a path of magic that none of us has ever ventured on, and none of us ever will. There are few wizards known in recent history who attempted that spell, and only one has survived it.”</p><p>Gellert felt like he was about to throw up again. The taste of blood and bile was strong on his mouth and he wanted to drink something to wash it away, at the same time the thought of putting anything in his stomach felt unbearable.</p><p>“So what’s going to happen to me?”, he asked. <em>He</em><em> might as well get to the point. </em></p><p>Ivanov sighed heavily. “Here at Durmstrang, we encourage a limited use of Dark Magic, as you well know. We go much further than other schools in that respect. Our goal in doing so, however, is to show the full extent of what magic can do, and that the duty of every witch and wizard is to develop a moral awareness of what is right and what is wrong. That is maybe the hardest part. It is not about casting spells right, even the dark and powerful ones, but to resist the ones that will lead you down a path of destruction and chaos. As fascinating as your mastering of the Pythia spell was from a scientific perspective, as much as it shows that you have some extraordinary magic that should be guided, we have to set an example for all the other students. If we allow Dark Magic like that to be practiced within our school walls, we will not only unleash great chaos, but also loose the respect of the magical society. So I’m afraid, Gellert, that we have no choice but to expel you.”</p><p>Gellert felt his heart sinking, while at the same time he felt a vision pushing into his head. It was the symbol again, the triangle, and he was now sure he had seen it somewhere, it was vaguely familiar. He had repeatedly seen it in this visions by now and began to feel that it must <em>mean </em>something; there was a wand that he was clutching to his chest; it had been hard to find it, but now it was his, finally his…</p><p>With a strangled moan he found himself in the bed again, the sheets damp with his sweat. Apparently, not much time had passed, Ivanov and Draganov were still there, watching him.</p><p>“So, where am I to go?”. The reality came back to him, that he was expelled, that he had lost the only home he had. There wasn’t any other place that he could think of where he would be welcome.</p><p>“That doesn’t concern us anymore. We will let you stay here until you have recovered and stabilized your mind enough to act in a responsible way. Then, Gellert, you will be on your own.”</p><p>“Ognyan claims he only aided you in translating the book and only cast that one spell because you requested it of him”, Draganov said quietly. Gellert had almost forgotten he was there.</p><p>Gellert nodded faintly. “I persuaded him. He didn’t want to, but I…”, he suddenly felt tears dampening his eyes, “I insisted.”</p><p>He had never thought this would happen, he had never thought so far. How had things turned out this way? Himself, expelled, Mehmet, wounded, and this stupid, stupid <em>Sight </em>that was tormenting him, which, according to Professor Draganov, he would never get rid of again…</p><p>He didn’t know what to say, all he got out was: “Where is Mehmet? Can I see him?”</p><p>Not waiting for an answer, he pushed himself up into a standing position and started to walk to the door, when already a new gush of visions descended upon him, making his knees buckle. Sinking to the floor, he gave in, it was just easier, he let the visions wash over him, not even bothering to fight them anymore.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took him several days to go and see Mehmet, who was already looking rather well and sitting up in his bed. Gellert figured he himself was the one who needed more recovery, but he had just felt the need to go and see for himself what he had done.</p><p>He had since taken in some food and was feeling a little bit stronger, but he still couldn’t manage to control the visions. Trying hard to stay focused, he sat next to his friend’s bed.</p><p>“Gellert”. There was obvious regret and sadness in his voice that made it hard for Gellert to look at him.</p><p>“You… you came looking for me.”</p><p>Mehmet smiled sadly. “I did. If only I had come sooner.”</p><p>Gellert suddenly felt tears welling up in his eyes, tears that he had been suppressing these last few days. “I am so… I am so<em> sorry…”</em></p><p>Mehmet kept silent, maybe he was at loss for words, too.</p><p>After giving in to the tears for a while, Gellert raised his head. “They’re expelling me, Mehmet.”</p><p>“I’ve heard as much. I wish I could say I regret it, Gellert, but I see they have no other choice. I wish I could say you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into, but I know you did. You just never bothered to find out what it really was you were doing.”</p><p>“I didn’t”, Gellert admitted. “It was bewitched by that promise of power. I couldn’t think of anything else, I… I can see that now. But it’s too late.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence, only interrupted by Gellert’s sniffling sounds.</p><p>“What are you going to do now?”, Mehmet said finally.</p><p>“I don’t really know. There are many things I need to find out”, he replied simply. He thought of the symbol he kept seeing, and the boy with the auburn hair. If maybe he could find them, maybe he could make sense of all this mess. He also needed someone to help him control his visions. That was what he had figured out so far, only he didn’t really know where to begin.</p><p>“You know I love you”, Mehmet said, not looking at him directly. Gellert’s heart leaped at those words, even though Mehmet certainly meant brotherly love, nothing more. “You were my best friend here and I hope I was yours. From the first day, when I saw you, a blond boy with strange eyes, I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t even know why. There was something about you that drew me to you, even if you did stupid things or forgot about our friendship for the sake of some new fascination or some new magical recovery. I just wished we could have stayed friends forever.”</p><p>Gellert felt his heart clench at those words, since they sounded as if something was coming to an end, something he, too, had never wanted to end.</p><p>“I love you too, Mehmet”, he said truthfully. “I should have valued our friendship more. I hope you can forgive me for all of my failings…I didn’t know it was you I threw a curse at… it was some strange, snake-like creature, coming to kill me… I would have never… <em>ever… </em>”</p><p>Mehmet smiled, his eyes filled with regret. “I know that, Gellert. Even at that moment I knew it, but still… you cannot claim it wasn’t your fault.”</p><p>“I know that. I know it was.”</p><p>“Still, I forgive you”, Mehmet said and Gellert felt a huge burden drop from his heart, even though many remained. “Or at least I forgive you for what you did to me, but not for what you did to yourself. I only hope you will choose another path now, Gellert. Not chase power anymore, but something nobler. You see what this quest has done to you. Not, please, let it go. Can you promise me that?”</p><p>Gellert nodded, frantically; he would have promised <em>anything </em>at that moment. “I promise.”</p><p>“So when are you leaving?”</p><p>“Soon. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day after.”</p><p>“Then this is goodbye, Gellert. I think we shouldn’t see each other again while you’re here. It would be hard on both of us. Please, take care of yourself. I am sure we will meet again, somewhere. The world is a small place.”</p><p>“And you, Mehmet. You take care, too. I would really like to see you again sometime.”</p><p>He took his friend’s hand and pressed it, and his heart felt heavy with sadness. It all felt so unjust, that he had to leave his friend and his only home in this world, with nowhere to go. They looked at each other and Gellert wanted nothing more than to go back in time and do things differently.</p><p>He took his leave and tried hard not to cry anymore. There was no use, and he knew it. Mehmet was now part of his past, and that would be it. Besides, he was plagued by his visions the whole night and soon couldn’t think about anything else. In the early morning hours, when his last dawn at Durmstrang broke, he carved the symbol he was seeing into the wall, maybe wanting to leave something of his behind, maybe hoping to ban it onto the wall so it would leave his head.</p><p>It didn’t work and when he left the castle the next morning, he was still seeing the sign in front of him, along with many other things, and he feared he was finally become utterly insane.</p><p>…</p><p>There was only once place where he could think of, so he took a Muggle train to Berlin, as he wasn’t old enough to Apparate, didn’t own a broom and wasn’t sure about where he could use the Floo Network. The three days it took him to get there he spend mostly in his sleeping carriage, lying on a bunk bed and trying to concentrate on the gentle rocking of the train instead of what was going on in his head. He tried not to think about what would await him there. It had been almost six years since he had last seen his mother, even though she had made sure to send an owl with his school supplies and some new clothes every year. Gellert had always wondered how she managed to get his size right every time, but probably there had been some magic involved. He had never received a single note, however, so he didn’t know what had happened to her in the meantime and if she still lived in the same place.</p><p>It was a foggy April morning when he arrived in Berlin, and he had to sit on his suitcase and sort his head before he managed to get up and take a carriage to the address he remembered. He felt immense relieve at finding the house how he remembered it.</p><p>A servant opened and eyed him suspiciously.</p><p>“I am here to see Frau Meyer”, he said and tried to put on a normal smile, but the look the servant gave him told him how awful his sight must be.</p><p>“Who am I to present to her?”</p><p>“Gellert… Grindelwald.”</p><p>“If you would please wait a moment, mein Herr”, the servant said with a short and polite bow. After a few minutes he returned and beckoned him to come in, while still eyeing him with mistrust. Trying hard to keep up with the man’s rapid pace, he only managed to steal a few glimpses around the place, but it looked just like in his memories. However, there was no sign of the two children or the husband, whom Gellert had never seen in his life.</p><p>Frau Meyer looked almost exactly as he remembered her from six years before, her beauty only enhanced by the few grey strands in the blond hair, her eyes still asynchronous like his own.</p><p>She turned around when he stepped into the room, wearing a bright lace dress as usual. Her gaze was stern.</p><p>“Welcome back, Gellert”, she said with a hint of irony in her voice, which was as cold as he remembered. “I had expected to see you again, though not that soon.”</p><p>“I… I was expelled from Durmstrang.”</p><p>“I’ve received the news.” She held up a piece of parchment covered in a small and curly handwriting. “Your headmaster… Professor Ivanov informed me of the events and suggested I take you ‘back in’. We both know that isn’t possible.”</p><p>Gellert sighed. “I haven’t come here to ask you to take me ‘back in’, mother”, he said resignedly. At the word “mother” he saw her flinch sightly. “I just… I just need your help. I have some things to do and I don’t know where to begin. Apart from that, I really need a place to go. You know that I don’t have anyone else.”</p><p>Visions broke into his head again. Seeing his mother had apparently triggered something and he now saw her as a young woman, frightened, scared of what she had done… she was looking down at the lifeless body of another woman, lying on the floor, her white dress covered in blood in the area around her pelvis.</p><p>Holding his head, he tried to calm down. This was <em>important, </em>he needed to focus.</p><p>“What happened to you, Gellert?” He heard his mother’s voice like he was immersed in water, and struggled to resurface. With difficulty, he managed to make out her face, on which genuine concern was written.</p><p>He breathed in harshly. “Haven’t they told you?”</p><p>She waved the parchment again. “They only wrote that you stole a book and then executed a dangerous Blood Spell… which resulted in the wounding of a fellow student.”</p><p>Gellert sighed. He was beyond the point of wanting to make her like him; he didn’t seem to have the strength to care about anyone’s opinions anymore. It seemed like another life when he had worked hard to be popular, admired, <em>loved. </em>Now all he was trying to do was to hold his head together.</p><p>So he told her the story, from beginning to end, only leaving out the part that he and Ognyan had been lovers. His voice trembled when he told her how he had wounded Mehmet and how they had said goodbye, but this was the most important part, and it felt like a confession, a purging of sorts.</p><p>She had been looking at him with a frown the whole time, her fingers tapping nervously on her knee. When he had finished, she was silent for a moment.</p><p>“I thought… I hoped you had not inherited that part of me”, she sighed, after a while. “You were a decent enough boy back then. I was worried because you had my eyes and I thought… I <em>feared</em>, that we were alike in other aspects as well. But I thought they would take care of you at Durmstrang and not… let you practice Blood Magic under their eyes.” She sighed and massaged the furrowed place on her forehead. “Being your mother, I should scold you, but I don’t see any sense in that. I see that you’ve received your penance. But how… on <em>earth </em>did you expect to get away with that? I’m sure they told you how Blood Magic isn’t like any other magic. That it always comes at a cost and that each spell cast has an effect on the rest of your life. How could you be so… so <em>stupid…</em>”</p><p>“You told me you had that part of me in yourself”, Gellert interrupted her, suddenly furious. He wasn’t that small boy anymore who looked at her in admiration and lapped up every friendly word she threw at him. “Who was that girl and what have you done to her? The one in the white dress?”</p><p>She suddenly looked up, startled. “Gellert!”</p><p>He couldn’t stop his anger at her indifference, about treating him like a liability she had to take care of. Years and years of unrequited love now resurfaced at this very moment and he felt <em>so angry</em>; he wanted to hurt her, make her pay.</p><p>“How could I be so stupid? I’ll tell you. Because normally, children grow up with their parent’s love, and they explain the world to them, tell them was is right and what is wrong, tell them what is good and what is evil. All I ever had was a father who beat me and a mother who couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. When I was a child, I was told all the time that magic is the work of the devil, that it is evil and the ones who do it sold their soul to Satan. And then suddenly all of that was turned around and I was told that magic is great now, that I am fortunate to have received this gift. So tell me, how I am to believe ever again that something is bad? Even if I’m told that there is <em>bad magic </em>and <em>good magic, </em>how am I to distinguish between the two of them? I only know one kind of magic, maybe it comes from Satan, maybe from God, but how am I to know? Because no one ever told me. You’re my mother, you were supposed to teach me those things! You were supposed to be there, to guide me, but here you are, living your Muggle life, never so much as writing to me. You wanted Durmstrang to take care of me, but that was <em>your</em> task!”</p><p>He had been shouting now, but to his surprise she didn’t tell him off. There were tears glistening in her eyes suddenly and she got up and walked up to the window, agitated.</p><p>“You are right about that part, Gellert, but if you’re looking for guidance from me, you are wrong!”</p><p>He expected her to go on, elaborate, while he was almost shaking from the emotions surging through him while trying to force down a new wave of visions. However, she didn’t say anything else for a while, staying still at the window, her body trembling so slightly that it took him a moment to realize she was crying.</p><p>When she turned around, she seemed to have regained her composure, even though her eyes were slightly reddened.</p><p>“I know you have this romantic idea of having kind and loving mother, but believe me, Gellert, I can be none of that. Not for you. You… you don’t know any of this, but you are what I had to sacrifice to become this person. The person I am today.”</p><p>He said nothing, waiting for her to go on. He couldn’t believe what she was saying. When she didn’t, he asked incredulously: “The person you are today? A witch among Muggles? Pretending to be just like <em>them</em>? Using magic to heat a pot of tea once in a while?”</p><p>“No, Gellert”, she said, approaching him to take his hands. She suddenly had a glimmer in her eyes that could be joy, but also madness. “A <em>good</em> person, a person without power she cannot control! A kind and caring mother. A loving wife. Not…”</p><p>A flash again, an image. The woman with the bloody pelvis.</p><p>“A crazy witch who can’t control her magic? Who killed someone?” His head was hurting so much now that he felt it would burst. He didn’t see her facial expression, but he heard the anger in her voice when she spat out: “As if you’re the one to talk! The only reason <em>you </em>didn’t kill someone was sheer luck!”</p><p>He suddenly wanted nothing more than to get out, get away from her, get his head clear. However, he needed to stay, he needed something<em>.</em></p><p>“Never mind”, he said, ending the topic. “I don’t know what you did or why you chose to live that way, and honestly, I don’t really care. There was a time when I did, but I’m a different person now. Still, I need your help. I need a place to stay, not just for a few nights, but for longer. A few months maybe, until I know what to do with my life. And I need to solve this <em>mess </em>in my head, though I’m aware that you might not know how to do that either. There is… there is this symbol that I keep seeing. It’s looks slightly like an eye; a triangle with a circle inside of it and a vertical line running through that circle. And I keep seeing a boy, a boy with brown hair… I think he has something to do with that symbol, that they are connected somehow…”</p><p>His mother stood there, eyeing him like he was some kind of madman, but then, after he had finished, she only said: “The symbol… can you draw it?”</p><p>He nodded. “Of course. I see it all the time.”</p><p>She went to a small desk facing the window and rummaged through the drawers, then she beckoned him over and handed him a quill and a piece of paper. Gellert drew the symbol; it was very simple. She looked surprised. “<em>That’s </em>the symbol you keep seeing?”</p><p>He nodded. “Is that so strange?”</p><p>She gave a short laugh. “Well, apart from the fact that you’re seeing things inside your head at all, I recognize this symbol from my time at Durmstrang.”</p><p>This struck him as peculiar, as he himself had never seen it there. Did this mean that it used to be part of the curriculum and was withdrawn for some reason, or did he simply miss it because he had missed the whole last year? He felt a pang of regret at all the things he would miss, the spells he wouldn’t learn, the potions he wouldn’t brew.</p><p>“Really? Were did you see it?”</p><p>“It’s the symbol of the Deathly Hallows. There are some people who believe they are real and during my time at school is became quite <em>en vogue </em>to do so; I think they fancied the idea of being part of some secret and noble society. But, if you ask me, it is pure rubbish.”</p><p>Gellert looked at her, if possible even more confused.</p><p>“The Deathly Hallows?”</p><p>It then seemed to dawn upon her that he had no idea what she was talking about.</p><p>“Oh… I see. Not having been educated in a magical family, you obviously haven’t read ‘The Tales of Beedle the Bard.’”</p><p>“I haven’t.”</p><p>He wondered, suddenly, if <em>she </em>had been brought up in a magical family, and realized how little he knew about her and her past. She didn’t give him much time to ponder this, however, as she stood up and strode across the room to a large bookshelf. Taking out a book, she muttered a spell that Gellert recognized as a disenchantment spell.</p><p>“This is it. If you want, you can keep it. I disguised it as ‘Grimm’s Fairytales’.”</p><p>She came over and handed him the book. It obviously contained a couple of fairytales for children, only magical ones.</p><p>“So this means”, Gellert said, doubtful, leafing through the book, “that the symbol I keep seeing is from a children’s story?”</p><p>“So it seems”, she said, sighing. “Read the story, then maybe you will understand it better. As for your other problems… I will try to help you as best as I can. Finding a place for you to stay will be tricky, but I will ask around. Come back in exactly one week and I will tell you where to go. However, your visions, your <em>Sight… </em>as you have suggested, I really don’t know anything about that. But if you’re looking for answers, the best place to start is always a library.”</p><p>“So is there… a library here? For magic I mean?”</p><p>She laughed as if he had asked something terribly silly. “In Berlin? The capital of the German Empire? One of the fastest growing cities in Europe? Of course, Gellert!”</p><p>“How am I supposed to know that? The last time I have been here I wasn’t really… I didn’t even know how to do magic. I barely knew how to <em>read</em>.”</p><p>Her eyes sparkled again, as if she had some mischief in mind. “Well then, Gellert, then now’s the time for you to discover it. I will tell you how to get there and I suggest until I find you a new home, you will read, read, read… and maybe you’ll find a solution for these… visions of yours.”</p><p>…</p><p>His mother had given him some Muggle money, probably a lot as far as he could tell, since he wasn’t really familiar with the currency. He had a week to kill before he was to report back to her, and he had to find the magical library of Berlin, though she had described to him how to get there in detail. She had also recommended a place where he could rent a room for a week without being asked any questions, and this was the first place he went; a grumpy, elderly lady with a sour face showed him said room, which was little more than a bed in the attic. He didn’t mind, however, he wasn’t planning on spending any time there apart from the nights. Paying for the whole week in advance, he realized that indeed the money his mother had given him was plenty, so he treated himself to his first proper meal since he had left Durmstrang. Afterwards, he strode along the bustling streets of Berlin, marveling at how the city had become even more cosmopolitan since his last visit six years ago. He observed the dashing young men in their uniform-like Muggle clothes, the ladies with elaborate hats and buttoned-up, colorful dresses; the girls with ribbons in their hair and the boys in sailor suits. There was so much bustle on the street that his head had difficulties keeping up, especially with new visions popping up every now and then. He noticed, though, that with all the noise outside they retreated somewhat, as if his head had decided to give way for all the unknown new impressions raining down on him. There were even electric trams, and he was almost hit by one and only saved by an observant young man who pulled him out of the way.</p><p>He finally made his way to the little candy shop on a street corner that his mother had described to him. When he opened the door he was greeted by the sight of chocolate bars, sugar canes and other colorful sweets that he had never seen before. At the back of the shop, behind the counter, a young lady was sitting, reading a book. She looked perfectly Muggle-like with a loose hair bun and a high collar dress, regarding him with an indifferent look.</p><p>“Can I help you, mein Herr?”, she asked politely. He wondered if this was indeed the right place and hesitated to say the words his mother had instructed him to say.</p><p>“I come on behalf of Herr Niemeyer”, he replied reluctantly and moved into her direction. She rose and nodded discreetly.</p><p>“Of course, mein Herr. I’ve been expecting you.”</p><p>She said nothing more, only beckoned him to follow her, and led him through a door in the wall behind the counter. They entered a small storage chamber crammed with different kind of colorful candy, and she opened the door of a tall closet that was almost invisible beneath all the boxes and containers.</p><p>“Please, mein Herr. After you.”</p><p>He nodded to thank her and stepped into the closet, as he also had been instructed what would happen next; she would close the door and when he would open it a couple of seconds later, it would open into a huge underground library. That was exactly what happened.</p><p>Gellert had never seen a library this vast, and his heart leaped with excitement; if only he had been able to come here sooner! Surely there were all kinds of books to be found here to nourish his soul thirsty for knowledge.</p><p>It looked like a huge underground cistern without water, with stone columns dividing the endless rows of bookshelves. As he approached them, Gellert noticed that each of the columns rested on a huge stone base engraved with different kind of faces; some of them were upside-down, some laying on their side, some were the right way around, looking at him with empty eyes.</p><p>He had not heard anyone approaching, but suddenly a voice behind him said merrily: “The heads of Medusa.”</p><p>Turning around, he saw a young woman who looked exactly like the woman who had just guided him into the cupboard, only that she was now wearing a witch cloak and a pointed hat, and had her hair in a long braid that fell to her waist. The similarity was uncanny; they must surely be twins.</p><p>“Excuse me?”, he could only mutter, confused, as he was suddenly seeing things again. The woman turned into a wolf right before his eyes, and she was running over plains in the moonlit night. He shook his head to get rid of the vision and was relieved that she was still standing there before him.</p><p>“They are famous, didn’t you know? Many people come only to look at the stone heads, not at the books.”</p><p>She smiled and Gellert noticed that she had a friendly and agreeable face; nothing wolf-like at all. Still, he couldn’t entirely get rid of the image and had to shake his head again and again not to get lost in the vision of her as a wolf.</p><p>“Well, I didn’t know about them. I came for the books, not for the stones.”</p><p>“I understand”, she replied. “I like those visitors best. That’s what we’re here for, after all. Are you looking for something in particular?”</p><p>Gellert took a quick look around; there were only a few visitors scattered around, but still he lowered his voice.</p><p>“I would like to find books on the Sight.”</p><p>“The Sight?”</p><p>“The Inner Eye, Divination, whatever you want to call it. Oh, and you wouldn’t happen to have something on the Deathly Hallows?”</p><p>Her eyes lit up with eagerness. “Oh, we have tons of books on Divination. I will show you right away. However, the Deathly Hallows… we have a few sources, but they wouldn’t really be considered… scientific.” She frowned at this as if it was a terrible sin.</p><p>“Anyway, I want to read whatever I can.”</p><p>His head started hurting. The boy with auburn hair again. Why now?</p><p>“The Berlin Magical Library is one of the biggest collection of magical academic material in Europe”, she said somewhat proudly. “I am sure that this is the best place to find whatever you are looking for. By the way”, she suddenly said, holding out her hand, “my name is Luise.”</p><p>He took it and gave a short nod. “Gellert. Was that your sister I just saw upstairs?”</p><p>She gave a short laugh, more of a giggle. “Yes, well… yes, let’s say my sister.”</p><p>Letting go of his hand, Luise took off into the rows of bookshelves. “Now let’s find those books you’re looking for.”</p><p>…</p><p>The problem, he realized, wouldn’t be that he wouldn’t find anything on the Sight, but the sheer quantity of it. There were two whole shelves devoted to crystal balls itself, one shelf on divination rituals, half a shelf on centaur divination magic. However, most of the books seemed to be on how to<em> induce</em> certain visions, not on how to block them out. Most people with the Sight, Gellert realized, were only granted with a real vision once in a while, and mostly they were welcomed and treasured. There were books on how to create the perfect condition for the Sight to show itself, but nobody seemed to have the problem that they couldn’t escape from it.</p><p>At some point, he got frustrated and went to see the librarian again. She looked at him almost disappointed when he said he couldn’t find what he was looking for.</p><p>“Nothing? That is hard to believe! Would you mind telling me what<em> exactly</em> it is that you’re looking for, then I could maybe assist you with your search.”</p><p>He felt at loss for words, he found it hard to explain what he<em> was </em> actually looking for, and it didn’t help that in this very moment he heard a scream in his head full of agony and pain and saw a flash of the boy again, his face contorted with horror, some realization taking hold of him. <em> No Gellert, no! What have you done? </em></p><p>Shaking his head, he managed to focus on Luise again who was looking him with concern written on her face. “Are you alright, Gellert?”</p><p>He nodded and smiled faintly. “Well, most of the literature on the Sight is about how to induce visions, how to read and interpret them, but… you wouldn’t happen to have anything on how to… control it? You know, if someone is… plagued by them?”</p><p>“Plagued by them?” She looked at him with something like curiosity and seem to ponder on some question. Gellert wondered if he had said the wrong thing. However, after a few seconds she asked, with her always agreeable voice: “Do you, by any chance, read foreign languages?”</p><p>“I do”, Gellert said. “English, French, Russian and Turkish. Some Greek. But very little.”</p><p>“That is impressive!”, she replied, eyes widening in amazement. “I thought there was something… foreign in your accent. Well, we have a remarkable work by one Bathilda Bagshot about the history and origins of the… well, she calls it ‘Inner Eye’. It might not give an answer to your question directly, but she elaborates in great detail how the Sight manifested in human beings in the first place, she cites all the sources from Ancient Greece and Rome… come, let me show you!”</p><p>Being able to show him something that he hadn’t found by himself apparently gave her immense joy, and she strode ahead of him until they had reached a section deep down in the cave-like building that was titled “Foreign Languages”. From the English section, she took out a heavy book after a thorough search and beamed at him while dropping it into his hands. The cover showed a priestess sunken down on a bench and covered in mists, and the title read: “De-Mystifying the Mysterious- The Inner Eye from Past to Present”.</p><p>He opened the first page and saw the picture of a witch looking smart and scholarly with a pair of glasses perched on top of her straight nose. She nodded at him encouragingly from the photograph, as if to animate him to read and delve into her book at once.</p><p>Thanking Luise, he sat down at a reading table that was illuminated by various floating candles, and started to read the introduction.</p><p>“<em> Few </em> <em> of the magical subject </em> <em> s r </em> <em> emain as mysterious to this day as the so-called ‘Inner Eye’. Mostly regarded as a special gift only given to a fortunate few, the </em> <em> ability </em> <em> of seeing into the future still induces awe in many witches and wizards, which is further fueled by the shrouds of mystery that many people who are so gifted cloud themselves in. Despite having been an academic topic for decades or even centuries, little has been done to shed some light onto the origins and </em> <em> mechanisms </em> <em> of the ‘Inner Eye’. </em> <em> Many peopl </em> <em> e </em> <em> tend to forget that the Sight was considered a curse for centuries, plaguing those afflicted by it and sometimes torturing them into madness. One of the most famous Seers of all times, Cassandra, princess of Troy, </em> <em> is </em> <em> a tragic figure who was cursed to predict the downfall of her city without anyone ever believing her. These days, however, there seems to be a peculiar fascination of witches and wizards with questionable practices like palm- or tea leaf-reading, which have never been needed by true Seers to see into the future…” </em></p><p>Gellert read on, fascinated. This seemed to be more like what he was experiencing, and maybe he would even find some answers.</p><p>Sitting by the candles, he read until deep into the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He returned the next day to pick up where he had left off the night before. However, he was eventually disappointed, since the book didn’t offer any insight about how to deal with his problem, even though it contained almost a whole chapter on the Pythia spell.</p><p><em>Much disagreement exists in temporary academic circles as to whether the ‘Inner Eye’ can be opened with magic. The most common view on this topic is that even though it surely can be enhanced by and directed into certain directions with magic, the Sight cannot be </em> created <em>in a person with no prior disposition. However, there exists the persistent rumor of a spell, sometimes titled the “Pythia” spell, borrowing its name from the priestesses of the Oracle of Delphi, who were said to be so bewitched. Adding to the mystery about the spell is the fact that it is almost impossible to gather information about it, or even about whether it actually exists. The few sources available to the author of this book only agree on three things: that, should the spell exist, it involves dark Blood Magic, that it is irreversible, and that all documents on how to produce it have been destroyed.</em></p><p>Gellert snorted and rolled his eyes when he read this. <em> You’ve read all the books, dear lady, </em> <em> but </em> <em> in this </em> <em> you are wrong. </em></p><p>He closed the book in frustration. What he had gained by speed-reading it in one day was only that the Sight seemed to be an inconsistent phenomenon that everyone experienced in a different way. Some people had visions daily or even hourly, while others had only one in a lifetime, despite trying all the potions, spells and crystal gazing methods known to wizardkind. Still, the knowledge collected in the book came from people who were just born with it and not from people like <em> him. </em>A thought occurred to him-- what if he was actually the only person alive who had survived the Pythia spell and who had gained the Sight by using magic? Professor Ivanov had mentioned, if he remembered right, that only one person in recent history had survived the spell apart from him. Now he wished he had asked him who that person was, but there had been so many other things on his mind that it hadn’t even occurred to him that he could use this person’s help.</p><p>Placing the book back on the shelf, he decided to pursue his other question about the Deathly Hallows. It was much easier to find material on this topic-- it seemed like the Hallows had inspired witches and wizards for centuries. He started with the book his mother had given him and read the Tale of the Three Brothers, which gave him an idea about what they actually were; then, with Luise’s help, he discovered a book in German about the Peverell brothers who were said to have inspired the three brothers in the story or, maybe, even though solid evidence remained yet to be found, even <em> be </em>the three brothers. One of them, Ignotus Peverell, was buried in a place called “Godric’s Hollow” somewhere in England.</p><p>He went on the read another book called “The Genealogy of the Elder Wand”, this time in English again. It was a compilation of compelling stories and to Gellert it felt like reading a novel-- Emeric the Evil, the first known owner of the Elder Wand, who was known as a tyrant until Egbert the Egregious killed him and took the wand from him; Hereward, who stole the wand from his father Godelot whom he locked into a cellar to die; Arcus and Livius, after whom all traces of the wand vanished.</p><p>Gellert could see why people became so fascinated with the Hallows. It sounded too good to be true. Own these three object and become <em> the Master of Death </em> itself? At school, he had been taught that Death was the only thing <em> unconquerable </em>by magic. Even though there were spells to delay death or to make it less painful or even blissful, there had never been a way to avert it completely. So if Death remained the last stronghold untouched by magic, it was surely an attractive thought to break through that last barrier.</p><p>Gellert thought about it for a while. He had never thought of Death in a particular way, had never feared it in the way some other people seemed to fear it. However, he could imagine that mastering Death would give a wizard a power beyond measure.</p><p>
  <em>Power beyond measure.</em>
</p><p>He took a deep breath and fought the visions breaking down on him like waves. <em> Stay here, </em> he told himself desperately. Reading about the Hallows had caught his attention so much that the visions had become merely a low humming in the background, but now they were crushing him all the harder. There was a vision of him, flaring up again and again. He had seen it before: himself, much older, in the midst of a roaring crowd, chanting his name; <em> Grindelwald, Grindelwald, Grindelwald, </em> over and over again; he was intoxicated, mesmerized; they loved him, <em> adored </em>him, but there was this loss in his heart still…</p><p>Gasping for air, he stood up, shaking his head <em> hard, </em> but it didn’t stop, this feeling of power. It was terror and delight at the same time, his whole body was trembling with it. <em> Love me, you fools. </em></p><p>When he managed to force his eyes open, Luise was standing next to him, grabbing his arm and looking at him with concern. He realized she had been shaking him, and maybe that had been the reason for his tremor.</p><p>“Gellert, what’s happening to you? You have been reading for <em> hours </em>and now you look as if you are about to drop dead!”</p><p>He sucked in some air but still couldn’t get rid of the chanting of <em> Grindelwald, Grindelwald, Grindelwald. </em></p><p>“I’m ok, I’m just… it’s been…” He blinked to get rid of the visions and felt tired, so tired. There was a desperate wish inside of him suddenly of just being open and honest with somebody. “I keep seeing these things, Luise, it is… it is maddening…”</p><p>Her grip on his arm was all that supported him and he heard her murmur: “Now I know what you meant by ‘plagued’.”</p><p>There was the sign of the Hallows again, and suddenly he knew what this visions meant; what if <em> he, </em> Gellert Grindelwald, was meant to find and unite them? He had done what people thought impossible before, he had cast a spell that many doubted even existed. Was this the reason all those people shouted his name? Because he was there to safe them, to redeem them; Death finally conquered, like the Christians believed who called Jesus Christ their Lord Savior. He wanted to give in to this dream, to this feeling of omnipotence, but the grip on his arm held him steady. It was comforting, though, to be held; he felt good and safe and thought that he was finally were he was meant to be.</p><p>Then, darkness. Or, maybe, blazing light.</p><p>…</p><p>He was there, with the auburn-haired boy. The sun was shining through his hair and made it look almost golden, like his own. There was love in his eyes, love on his lips when he whispered: “Gellert”. It seemed like a wonder, this love. He knew there and then that he would never forget what his name sounded like from the boy’s lips.</p><p>They kissed and the boy tasted like cherries, his lips soft and indulgent. Gellert wanted more of this, of the soft and warm feeling. <em> Who are you, </em> he wanted to ask, but at the same time he wanted to shout: <em> D</em><em>on’t leave me! </em> There was warm and fragrant grass under his back and the boy’s weight felt comforting on top of him, like a warm blanket. Gellert wanted to speak, ask him so many things, but he couldn’t seem to open his mouth. His hands seemed to work, however, and he let them roam over the boy’s back covered in a linen shirt, slip them under it and caress his skin, feeling the goosebumps that followed his touch. A soft moan escaped the boy’s mouth and Gellert sucked on his lower lip, drinking in the sounds he was making. He blinked into the blazing blue sky above them and knew that this, <em> this, </em>was pure happiness.</p><p>Then, suddenly, he felt something pulling him away. <em> This isn’t even real, is it. </em></p><p>Not wanting to leave the boy and this glorious moment, he tried to inhale his scent one last time, but already his eyes flew open and he was looking into a small room with a few moving pictures on the wall and a shelf from which real plants and flowers were growing. His back felt sore; he was lying on a small and hard bed under a thin blanket. While his eyes started to adjust to his surroundings, everything came back to him. He had just been in the underground library, but where was he now? It was a place he certainly had never seen before and slowly he was beginning to panic; he wanted to get out of here, why couldn’t he just <em> stay </em> with the boy, kiss him, touch him, <em> fuck </em>him, as they clearly had been about to do? Pushing away the blanket he stood up, taking a few shaking steps, when the door suddenly flew open.</p><p>“Gellert, you’re awake!”</p><p>It was Luise and his heart felt some relief when he saw her. She was wearing an apron covered in flour, just like her hands and part of her face, which showed a mixture between happiness and worry.</p><p>“What… how did I end up here? Where am I, even?”</p><p>“I’m sorry, you just fainted in the library and started mumbling and shouting… customers were complaining… I didn’t know what to do, so I took you home.”</p><p>Gellert felt even fainter and his knees buckled. Sitting down on the bed, he muttered: “I’m sorry.”</p><p>She sat down next to him and patted his arm, leaving traces of flour on his sleeve. “It’s alright. I figured you needed some rest. And there is someone I want you to meet. I think he might be able to help you.”</p><p>He looked at her with surprise. “Someone?”</p><p>She didn’t smile anymore. “It took me a moment to understand. You were looking for these books about the Sight like a maniac. Of course, you were talking about yourself when you said that you were plagued by them… well, silly me, I should’ve taken you here right away. It’s my great-grandfather. He has the Sight, too. He once told me that in his youth, he was sometimes plagued by it, it would come to him uncontrollably, and he would sometimes faint when it all got too much. Just as it happened to you.”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t believe his luck and he smiled at Luise gratefully.</p><p>“That is amazing. I would love to meet you great-grandfather. He must be very old?”</p><p>“Indeed”, she replied, “you’re really lucky you found me in time. He’s 101 years old and we don’t know how much longer he will make it. There are several ailments taking over his body that we cannot avert with magic anymore. We will see. But for now, take a rest, and when you’re ready, I’ll take you to meet him. I have to finish that cake anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>She held up her floury hands and smiled. “By the way, who is Albus?”</p><p>“Albus?” Gellert frowned at her. Somehow he felt like he had heard that name before, but he couldn’t recall where and when.</p><p>“His name was the only thing you muttered in your sleep, over and over again. I thought he must be someone really close to you. But maybe he was just part of your… vision?”</p><p>Gellert shrugged like he didn’t care, but his heart started pounding. He had a very clear notion of who this Albus could be.</p><p>“Anyway”, Luise said when he didn’t reply and stood up. “Have a rest, Gellert. I will see you later.”</p><p>With that he left him in the small room, finally with a name on his tongue.</p><p>…</p><p>A couple of hours later, she made good on her promise and returned with a slice of apple cake topped with whipped cream, which she made him eat to the last crumb. When nothing was left, she took the plate and told him to follow her. He discovered that they were actually in the upper floor of the building, and they descended down a narrow wooden staircase into what seemed to be a living room. It looked cosy with several armchairs, a couch and a crackling fireplace, though it was already spring outside. Probably it was there more for decoration than for the actual warmth, and Gellert suspected the fire wasn’t even real.</p><p>Luise directed him into one of the armchairs and told him to wait.</p><p>“I don’t know how he is feeling today. I will go and see how he is, maybe he is well enough to come out.”</p><p>She vanished into an adjacent room and, after a few minutes, came back out with regret on her face.</p><p>“I’m afraid he’s not in a state to sit, he prefers to lie down because he says while sitting the pain-erasing spells wear off more quickly. Would it be alright for you to come in?”</p><p>“Of course”, Gellert said, standing up, and followed her. The room was dark because the blinds were closed, but the air had a fresh, grassy and flowery scent that made him feel like standing on one of the meadows of the Swiss mountains. He inhaled deeply and noticed that it cleared his head in an instant; not that the visions vanished, but they retreated far into the background until they seemed like the twittering of distant birds.</p><p>In the middle of the room stood a broad bed, and from under the blanket a shriveled old head peaked out. It was hard to tell whether the man was asleep, his eyes were closed and his breathing shallow. There was only a tuft of hair left on his head that was otherwise covered in liver spots.</p><p>“Opa”, Luise said, stepping close and taking his wrinkled hand. “He is here now. The boy I told you about? His name is Gellert.”</p><p>Finally, a sign of life. The man opened his eyes with a groan and then pushed himself up with difficulty.</p><p>“Gellert”, he repeated. “I haven’t heard that name before. Are you German?”</p><p>This question struck him as peculiar, but Luise smiled at him encouragingly and he replied: “No. I’m Swiss, actually. The name comes from ‘Gelhardt’.”</p><p>The old man coughed dryly. “Well, you certainly don't sound Swiss. But what is all that nonsense… German, Swiss, Prussian, whatever… you’re a wizard, that’s what counts!”</p><p>“Opa, please”, Luise whispered. “Don’t start with that again.”</p><p>“Of course, mein Kind, I know you don’t agree. You would keep the world as it is. You like to sit in that shop dressed as a Muggle, but what it ultimately is, is hiding from them….”</p><p>“I work in a magical library!”</p><p>“You are fascinated, though, you like being part of their world, right? You like wearing these Prussian dresses and you flirt with the young Muggle gentlemen who come into your shop?”</p><p>“Opa!”</p><p>“You see what they’re doing; these Muggles are out of their mind. Their Kaiser is out of his mind. He wants to be one of the big players, he wants Germany to become like the United Kingdom, wants to wage war, wants to have colonies. It’s all about war these days. Sooner or later, he wants to have one. And what will come out of it? Nothing! And what will the wizards do? Nothing!”</p><p>Luise looked at Gellert apologetically. “Gellert hasn’t come to discuss politics. He has some questions to ask. You see, he has the Sight. Just like you. I’ve told you he fainted in the library, right? He needs your help. He needs to know how to control it.”</p><p>“Ah, yes, yes”, the old man said and coughed again. He seemed distracted, as if still lost in his thoughts about Muggles and war.</p><p>“I will leave you two then. I think it is better for you to be alone. But don’t bother Gellert too much with all that talk, alright, Opa?”</p><p>She stood up and, when she passed Gellert, whispered: “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you. He has become quite bitter these days. Don’t let him drift off. Just ask your questions, I hope you will get your answers.”</p><p>With that, she left, leaving Gellert alone with her great-grandfather. He felt uncomfortable and stepped closer reluctantly.</p><p>“Luise, Luise…”, the old man muttered, distracted, “she has a heart of gold, but she still lives in that romantic world where wizards and Muggles live together in perfect harmony. She doesn’t see the big picture. She doesn’t see all the things I see. The things I see in here.” He raised his hand and tapped against his temple with a crooked finger. Then, as if he had suddenly remembered he was still here, he shouted: “Gellert! Please, sit down, my boy. Make yourself comfortable.”</p><p>He pointed to a chair pushed back against the wall next to his bed. Gellert took it and sat down next to the bed.</p><p>“You are extremely lucky, young man, that fate has brought you here. You know why?”</p><p>“Why?”, Gellert asked, as he obviously wanted him to.</p><p>“Because I might be the only person on this whole wide world who can help you. Luise told me you cannot control your visions, that they overpower you?”</p><p>Gellert nodded.</p><p>“That is because you were not born with them, were you?”</p><p>Gellert looked at him with surprise. <em>How did he--</em></p><p>“How did I know? Boy, I recognize all the signs. I’ve been through it myself and I have my own theory why it happens. People who are born with the Sight just grow up and adjust to it. They have never known anything else. They have all those visions just as we do, but for them they just blend in with all their other perceptions, and they are so used to them that for them it is like an additional sense. They recognize a vision only as a vision when it manifests in a very strong and distinctive form.”</p><p>Gellert was even more surprise at the man’s coherent speech after all his old-man ramblings.</p><p>“So… but why…”</p><p>“Please, let me finish. We, at least you and I, as I don’t know other as of yet, were born with our normal, Sight-free minds, and we were suddenly granted with this new… new sense that we have never experienced before. So of course this new sense becomes overpowering, because we are new to it, we don’t know how to deal with it. It is an ability that we have to gain over time, that we have to learn. We have this additional eye opened, and it is new and powerful and we use it <em>all the time.”</em></p><p>“So that means that you have acquired the Sight later in life, just like me?”, Gellert couldn’t help but interrupt him this time, “But there’s only one way to do it, right? You used the Pythia spell?”</p><p>He old man chuckled and sounded just a little bit insane. “I haven’t told anyone in a long time, and I’ve certainly never talked to someone who has been through the experience himself! It is refreshing to be granted this before my death.”</p><p>“How did you… when did you do it?” Gellert felt a huge sense of relief at suddenly having this person before him, who actually <em>knew </em>what he was talking about. At the same time, he realized that this man had probably been waiting for this moment for all of his long life.</p><p>“I was young and reckless, just like you, even though probably not <em>that </em>young and <em>that </em>reckless. I can see you, you know?” He inhaled sharply and grabbed Gellert’s hand while closing his eyes. “I can see you lying on a forest floor. You only have one friend with you and then you start screaming…”. He let go of Gellert’s hand and opened his eyes again. “I was maybe a decade older than you, and had long finished my magical education… we were a group of friends and we found this old book in an antique shop. Two of them were educated in Ancient Greek, so we deciphered it together. We were fascinated by the spell and decided to try it. I was to be the first and once my ‘Inner Eye’ was opened, they would follow. Only they didn’t. When I started <em>seeing </em>they all ran away; they couldn’t stand my agony. When I regained my senses somewhat they were all gone, I was all alone and then it dawned upon me that I would probably live with this for the rest of my life. I wanted nothing more than to kill myself at that moment.”</p><p>Now Gellert could suddenly see it too; he saw the old man, much younger, then a handsome brown-haired man, sitting on a chair, cutting deep into his flesh with the help of his wand; he saw the blood welling up from his skin. It was the first time a vision had been this vivid since he had entered the room, and he had the feeling that the old man was somehow <em>giving</em> it to him, like some shared memory. It was the first time a vision didn’t seem despicable and intrusive to him.</p><p>“They were probably scared because they feared they would catch us and we would be punished”, the old man went on. “Blood Magic is illegal in most European countries, at least most of the spells. So I couldn’t really tell anyone either. For some time I thought I would go insane. But then, slowly, I learned how to live with it. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here.”</p><p>Gellert suddenly remembered his talk with Headmaster Ivanov again, right before he was expelled. <em>There are few wizards known in recent history who attempted that spell, and only one has survived it.</em> Could it be that this man was the very wizard Ivanov had been talking about?</p><p>“So…”, he cleared his throat. His heart was pounding hard. “How <em>do </em>you live with it? How do you control it?”</p><p>The old man sighed. “Unfortunately, there is no easy way. If there is, I haven’t found it, and trust me, I have been looking very hard. It takes practice and dedication. But you seem to be a determined young man, and I’m sure you can do it.”</p><p>“Please, show me!”, Gellert said eagerly. He was aching for this feeling of having a clear head again, for not having to be afraid of a vision every waking and sleeping minute.</p><p>The old man chuckled. “It might not be what you expect. If you’re looking for an easy spell that you can just cast and be rid of it, then I’ll have to disappoint you. There might exist such a spell and you might yet find it. However, I haven’t, and there’s only one thing I can teach you. And the interesting thing is, it doesn’t even have to do with magic.”</p><p>Gellert frowned. “No magic?”</p><p>The old man shook his frail old head faintly. “No magic. Do you still want to try?”</p><p>“Of course!”, Gellert exclaimed.</p><p>“Then, sit down in the floor.”</p><p>“The floor?”</p><p>“Yes, the floor. It might not be too clean, but Luise sweeps it regularly.”</p><p>Gellert did as he had been told and sat down in a cross-legged position. “Now, what do I do?”</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“Nothing?”</p><p>“Nothing. What I’ve learned from all these visions so far is that once they come, you <em>cannot </em>shut them out. All you can do is let them pass through you. Like waves, you know? Have you ever been to the seaside?”</p><p>Gellert shook his head.</p><p>“Well, anyway, just imagine them as waves that come and go. And you have to let them. If you try to block out the wave, it will crash against you and drown you. If you let it carry you, you won’t drown. So all you do is just sit and watch the visions come and go.”</p><p>“Are you serious?” Gellert couldn’t believe this should work. Maybe the man was a little senile and was just making fun of him. “Are you saying that all you found out in your many years as a Seer is… just watch the visions <em>come and go?”</em></p><p>The old man sighed. “Just as I thought. You think this sounds too simple, but it is anything but simple. You see, what makes these visions so dangerous is our willingness to accept them as reality. Sometimes there are visions we particularly like or we’re particularly scared of. We’re fascinated by them, want to know more. That’s why we try to take hold of them, dive into them, keep them. That’s the worst thing you can do. You have to let them go.”</p><p>Gellert thought of the boy with auburn hair and felt strangely guilty. Indeed, this had been his reaction every time he had seen him; he had wanted to keep him there, with him, in his head. He didn’t even know why, but with him there had been this sense of being loved, of being home, that he so longed for.</p><p>“I have a question”, he finally said after contemplating what the man had just said. “The visions… do they… become reality?”</p><p>Again the man sighed as if he was finally getting rid of a burden that he had been carrying for too long. “If only I knew. Most do, especially the most prominent ones. But who am I to say what ever was and ever will be? Some things I saw haven’t happened yet, but they still might; or maybe they have happened already. Time is an illusive thing, Gellert. You will learn that. Also that sometimes you cause the very thing you’re trying to avoid <em>by </em> trying to avoid it. And sometimes you make a vision reality <em>because </em>you have seen it.”</p><p>“And can I change things? If I see them and I… I don’t want them to happen?”</p><p>Now the man laughed out loud, until his laugh ended in a cough. “That’s the funny thing, Gellert! That’s the irony. We want the Sight to have more power, but if anything, it makes you feel powerless. We see things, but there’s no clue in our visions about when they will happen and what we can do for them not to happen. We just slide into everything and even though we know the outcome, there is just nothing we can do. Nothing.” He coughed again. “I suggest you come to terms with the fact that you did a very stupid thing. And now I ask you to try out what I’ve told you. Sit there, close your eyes. Then, just watch the visions come and go. Watch them. Get familiar with them. Study their patterns. Become acquainted.”</p><p>“Alright then”, Gellert said with a sinking feeling in his stomach. This indeed wasn’t the great power he had expected when he had forsaken sleep and food for days. He closed his eyes, just as the old man had told him.</p><p>“Take a deep breath in”, he heard the frail voice, “and a deep breath out. Just as your breath comes and goes, the visions will come and go.”</p><p><em>This is just stupid, </em>he though, sitting on the hard wooden floor, but he still did as he was told. What other option did he have anyway?</p><p>…</p><p>Half an hour passed, maybe an hour, until the door opened tentatively and Luise stepped in.</p><p>“Opa, I think you should have a rest now.”</p><p>Gellert opened his eyes and spun around to see her smile down at him. “And what are you doing down there? Opa, couldn’t you offer him a chair?”</p><p>When he got up into a standing positions, he felt the blood rushing back into his legs and had to suppress a cry of pain.</p><p>“The floor was necessary”, he heard the old man chuckle. “Gellert has done a very good job.”</p><p>“Thank you, mein Herr, for… the instruction”, he said politely, even though he didn’t really feel like he had gained much from the sitting exercise. His legs prickled like a thousand ants were running up and down inside of them and he didn’t see fewer visions than before. However, he didn’t want to disappoint Luise, who seemed to be really curious about how their exchange had gone.</p><p>“Would you like to stay for dinner, Gellert?”, she asked when he had said goodbye to her great-grandfather and they had left the room.</p><p>“No, thank you”, he replied, even though his rumbling stomach betrayed him. However, he felt he needed to be alone for a while.</p><p>After a lonely dinner, he went back to his empty and cold room and tried to fall asleep. He felt so<em> exhausted,</em> exhausted by his lack of sleep, his visions, his insecurities, by not knowing where he would go next. More than anything, he wanted to find a place where he belonged again, where he would feel safe and home. He though of how stupid he had been, to trade all of this for a damn mess in his head that he couldn’t control.</p><p>Just when he was drifting off to sleep, he suddenly saw the boy again. As he had been trying the whole afternoon, he tried to let the vision go, not cling to it, but he couldn’t help it. It was too beautiful, too comforting, too <em>real. </em> They were lying under the cherry tree again, still kissing with passion. Their clothes, however, where gone now, which didn’t seem to matter under the hot summer sun. Gellert tasted the sweet cherries on the boy’s lips, and oh, how he wanted <em>more. </em></p><p>“Gellert”, the boy breathed against his neck and now he felt his hardness against his own, pressing into him with urgency. “Please, I want to… to do what we did last time…”</p><p>Gellert didn’t know what to do, as he didn’t <em>know </em>what they had done last time, he only watched the boy who raised himself up, sitting astride him, and now he could finally see his face. He was truly beautiful: his auburn hair disheveled, his bright blue eyes glowing with desire, his body covered in sweat.</p><p>He pushed himself up into a seated position so that they were sitting chest to chest, even though he felt like he had no active part in it; he was like a voyeur in his own body. “Tell me what you want me to do, Albus.”, he whispered against the boy’s lips.</p><p>Gellert felt his real breath hitch; this indeed seemed to be his name. How had he known?</p><p><em>No, </em> he told himself, <em>this is not real. Let it go.</em></p><p>He so wanted to stay here, in this moment, and savor the glorious summer day. He wanted to do whatever the boy would ask of him. He would readily oblige, make him cum under the shade of the cherry tree, drink in his pleasure again and again.</p><p>
  <em>No. It’s just a vision. Nothing more. Let it go.</em>
</p><p>With regret, he returned into the present moment, into his cold bed, with a painfully hard cock. It had worked, however, he realized without the triumph he had thought would come with it; he had withstood the vision, had not succumbed to it.</p><p>He did succumb to his desire, however, and when he touched himself and bit his lips hard to suppress his moans, he did still see Albus in front of him, not as a vision, but in his imagination, just as beautiful and enticing, if not more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He returned every day to practice with Luise’s great-grandfather for the rest of the week. At first he still felt stupid, sitting there on the floor to watch his visions and his breath, but after some time he noticed that there was really something to it that helped him keep his head somewhat clearer. After each time, the old man would press him for what he had experienced and whether he noticed any difference.</p><p>“I feel less… overwhelmed”, he said, to his own surprise, after the third day of practice. “I still struggle but… I’m more aware of what’s happening. That it is a vision and that it will be over. And after it is over, I’ll still be there. You know what I mean?”</p><p>The old man gave a satisfied grunt. “That’s it, my boy. You’re going into the right direction.”</p><p>“But”, Gellert objected, “it’s alright if I sit here and concentrate, but if I’m somewhere out there and… and I’m just taken unaware… I still won’t be able to withstand it.”</p><p>“Na, na, you’re an impatient one. Just take one step at the time, Gellert. First, you sit. That’s all you’ll do for now.”</p><p>It seemed to give the old man immense pleasure to teach him <em>whatever </em>it was he was actually teaching. Despite not really knowing him, Gellert found he liked him and felt calm in his presence; there was something reassuring to be with someone who had lived a long and-- probably-- fulfilling life after having been through the same torture as himself. If he had done it, Gellert could, too. That was the reason he agreed to all the sitting and breathing, even though the effects were subtle.</p><p>The rest of the time he spent in the library under Luise’s watchful eyes. She checked on him regularly to see whether he was doing alright and whenever he showed signs of exhaustion or confusion, she would either send him home or take him to her own place. He even stayed for dinner twice, and, for the first time in his life, felt what it was like to be with a family. Her parents were both pleasant people; her short and plumb mother accepted his clumsy attempts at courtesy graciously while declaring him a “charming young man”; her tall father wore his perfectly groomed mustache with pride and continuously twirled its ends when talking. They complained about Luise not being married yet, even though she was approaching her thirtieth birthday, at which Luise looked both annoyed and embarrassed. Despite all the awkward topics, which also included the German Muggles and their recent fascination with war, colonialism and progress, Gellert was unexpectedly happy just to be there and talk, like he was part of the family. It was a feeling he had never experienced before.</p><p>He didn’t continue his reading about the Sight, since he had found that all the books he could find didn’t provide him with any helpful information; besides, he had Luise’s great-grandfather as a first-hand source, so what more could he want? Instead, he focused on the Deathly Hallows, but after some time he found himself in some kind of deadlock. All the books seemed to repeat the few pieces of information that were commonly available, but they all left the one and final question unanswered, which was whether the Hallows actually existed. It all seemed to boil down to whether one simply believed it or not.</p><p>Gellert wasn’t sure about what to believe. It all seemed a little bit too fantastic, too fairy-taleish. However, as far as he could tell the Pythia spell was mostly considered a myth as well, and he had experienced the power that came from it, however destructive it might be.</p><p>…</p><p>One week after he had arrived in Berlin, he went back to his mother’s house, just as she had instructed him a week earlier. This time he wasn’t greeted with suspicion, instead the servant immediately showed him into the house and lead him into his mother’s study. She was already sitting there and had clearly been expecting him.</p><p>“Welcome again, Gellert. I trust you had a pleasant week in Berlin?”</p><p>He nodded. “Very insightful, definitely.”</p><p>“I’m glad to hear that.” Her smile seemed genuine, as far as he could tell. As she had never bothered to pretend being a better person than she was, he believed her feeling of concern was honest.</p><p>“I’m even more pleased”, she continued, “to tell you that I’ve done as promised and found you a new place to stay. I must say that I’ve exhausted my last remaining connections to the magical world. So tell me, Gellert, how would you like to visit England?”</p><p>“England?” He had expected her to find him some place in Germany, or maybe in Switzerland, but when he had imagined his next destination during the last few nights alone in his bed, England had never occurred to him. “How come you’re sending me to England?”</p><p>“I’m not s<em>ending</em> you anywhere, Gellert”, she replied with some annoyance in her voice. “You asked me to <em>find you a place </em>and I did. I never told you this, but my mother was English. She has passed away, unfortunately, but her sister still lives there, my aunt Bathilda. You might have heard of her, she seems to be quite an acclaimed author and historian these days. Her full name is Bathilda Bagshot.”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t believe his ears and felt almost in shock at her words. He remembered the photograph of the friendly and intelligent-looking lady on the book that he had just discovered this week.</p><p>“I’ve heard of her”, he said hoarsely, his head spinning. He concentrated on his breath and let a wave of visions wash over him. A week ago he would have very likely fainted. “I’ve even read one of her books. She wrote a book about… the Sight.”</p><p>“Is that so”, his mother replied without showing any real interest. “By the way, what about that? Did you find anything to help you with your visions? You look a lot better, I have to say. Less confused. Last week you seemed like a madman when you walked in here. Today you look almost back to normal again.”</p><p>“I’ve worked on it. I’ve had some help.”</p><p>“Good! I see you’ve used your time productively, then. Anyway, Aunt Bathilda has agreed to take you in until you’ll come of age, at least. Which will be… the first of November I think?”</p><p>Gellert had to ponder this for a moment; he had never actually celebrated his birthday. As far as he remembered, no one had ever asked him when it was, and he had known his age only approximately. But then it occurred to him, causing a weird feeling in his stomach, that this woman was his mother. If anyone, she would know.</p><p>“I guess”, he said only.</p><p>“So this November, once you’ll turn seventeen, you’ll be free to go wherever you want. Maybe, with her guidance, you’ll decide what it is that you want from your life. Until then, you’re under her supervision.”</p><p>“And where does she live, exactly?”</p><p>“It’s a place called ‘Godric’s Hollow’. You probably haven’t heard of it, but apparently the village is quite well-known in Great Britain since it’s inhabited by a number of notable wizarding families. Godric Gryffindor, one of the Hogwarts Founders, was born there, hence the name probably. With that, however, my knowledge about the place is exhausted. You must explore it on your own.”</p><p>The name sounded strangely familiar as well, and Gellert racked his brain where he had heard or read it. However, there was too much for him to process at the moment, so he couldn’t think about it for too long.</p><p>“Alright then. It doesn’t seem that I have much of a choice anyway.”</p><p>“You don’t.”</p><p>He thought of Luise’s family and wondered what they would say if he asked them to take him in until November. It would seem strange, though, since they had no family connection, and he felt like he had taken advantage of their kindness long enough.</p><p>“So when do we leave?”</p><p>“I will take you there next week, on the first of May. Bathilda will then be back from her research trip to Egypt and ready to host you. Does that sound agreeable to you?”</p><p>He nodded. Like he had said, there wasn’t really a choice for him. It wasn’t like he had a vast selection of people volunteering to take care of him. If at all, he should probably be grateful.</p><p>So he replied: “Thank you mother”, and tried to come to terms with this new direction his life was taking.</p><p>…</p><p>He spent the next week just like the one before. His sessions with Luise’s great-grandfather continued, but he grew more and more frustrated; there was no real progress for days. Some visions came back to him repeatedly, even though he had let them go dozens of times, as if they just wanted to settle down in his head. The matter wasn’t facilitated by the fact that his thought were swarming around like mad, as he contemplated his new destination.</p><p>“Maybe they’re just <em>meant </em>to be there. Maybe… they want to tell me something. Like… I don’t know. Maybe I’m not supposed to let them go.”</p><p>He was talking especially about the visions including the auburn-haired boy, and he had to admit to himself that it was rather hard not to keep them in his head, because they filled him with a longing he had never known before, while satisfying it at the same time.</p><p>The old man chuckled from his bed, looking down at Gellert, who was again sitting on the floor.</p><p>“It never does well to dwell too long on a vision, Gellert. Sometimes they’re rather enjoyable, but be careful not to get lost in them. You might not find your way back.”</p><p>There was this other vision he was quite fond of; it was the crowd chanting his name, making him feel that he was a god among mortals. He wondered what he had done to earn their admiration to this extend. As much as he wanted to know and see more, he exhaled and let the vision go, even though he knew it would be back eventually.</p><p>On his last day in Berlin, he returned to the library to find Luise in the section about potions, sorting some books. She turned around when he approached.</p><p>“Gellert. What can I help you with?”</p><p>“I just wanted to tell you that… I’m leaving Berlin tomorrow.”</p><p>She looked surprised, though not as much as he had expected.</p><p>“So… that could be a good or a bad thing, depending on where you’re going.”</p><p>He smiled. “I suppose it’s… neither a bad nor a good thing. I’m going to visit relatives in England.”</p><p>“So you have relatives in England, I see. You haven’t told me that. Now that I think of it, you barely told me anything about you, Gellert. Somehow it didn’t occur to me to ask you, either.”</p><p>Gellert tried to look into her eyes, hoping to see at least a little sadness. It would be good to know that someone cared whether he went, at least. She didn’t meet his gaze, however.</p><p>“I used to have a brother, you know. He would be about your age now. He… he looked very different from you, but still… you remind me of him. That feeling of having a little brother. That’s why I took care of you.”</p><p>She didn’t elaborate, didn’t say how he died, and Gellert didn’t ask, and at that moment he noticed that he probably didn’t know much more about her than she knew about him.</p><p>“Tell me”, he said after a minute of silence, even though it didn’t have to do anything with what she had just said, “are you an animagus?”</p><p>Her eyes that had been wandering around as if watching her inner memories suddenly fell on him with a mixture between surprise and mistrust.</p><p>“How do you…” Then, as if coming to her senses: “Of course. Of course you know.”</p><p>“I keep seeing you as a wolf.”</p><p>She smiled a little to herself. “I am, but not many people know. It’s the best thing that has happened to me, or better, that I made happen to myself. Only in wolf form I feel completely free. You know, this vision thing… you might think of it as a curse, but it might well make you who you are at some point.”</p><p>They stayed silent for a few more seconds.</p><p>“You should come over for dinner tonight, then”, Luise said, finally. “You have to say goodbye to my great-grandfather. I know he really enjoyed meeting you. I think it gave him some hidden energy to work with you. He hasn’t been this agreeable in month! He barely talks about politics and wizard domination anymore. I think he will miss you.”</p><p>She smiled again. “I’ll expect you at seven. And don’t ever mention the animagus thing to my parents.”</p><p>…</p><p>He was glad not to spend his last evening alone, and when he said goodbye to the old man, his heart felt heavy, maybe even heavier than at the time when he had said goodbye to Mehmet. The difference was that it was very unlikely for them to ever meet again. It didn’t seem like he would even make it until November.</p><p>“Thank you for… everything”, he managed to say.</p><p>“You’re leaving, I’ve heard?”</p><p>Gellert nodded. Before he could think about whether it was appropriate, he took the old hand with skin that felt like paper, and gently pressed it. “I’m going to England tomorrow.”</p><p>“And what are you going to do there, Gellert?”</p><p>Gellert sighed. He didn’t feel like explaining, but also he didn’t want to hide anything from him. So he tried something he had never done before-- he thought of the last encounter with his mother and tried to channel it through their connected hands, hoping that he would be able to see.</p><p>The man closed his eyes and stayed still for a moment. Then, opening them again, he asked: “Is that your mother? The beautiful lady?”</p><p>“Yes. Can’t you tell?”</p><p>“Of course, she looks a lot like you. She seems awfully cold.”</p><p>“I only met her when I was ten, just before I was sent to Durmstrang. My father was even worse, though.”</p><p>The old man now pressed his hand in return. “I’m very sorry that you didn’t have a better upbringing, Gellert. You’re an especially bright and gifted young man and you’ve shown a lot of resilience by surviving that spell. You will go far, I have no doubt… but you would have gone even further with the love and support of a family.”</p><p>Gellert didn’t want these words to get to him, as he didn’t like to feel sorry for himself. But they still did, hitting that weak spot inside him that was longing for love and affection.</p><p>When he left the room, he took a last glance to the old man and said his silent good-bye.</p><p>…</p><p>The next day he went in time to his mother’s place, all of his few belongings packed in his suitcase. She was dressed for travel when he arrived, and ushered him into the room nervously.</p><p>“Alright, Gellert. Aunt Bathilda is expecting you. We’ll use Apparition, so I need you to take my arm, alright?”</p><p>They had done this before, when she had taken him to Durmstrang, so he did as told and wasn’t surprised by the feeling of being sucked into a giant hole, being turned inside out and spat out again. When they emerged he discovered they were in a very different place from the one they had left. They were standing on the top of a green hill; in fact it was the greenest green Gellert had ever seen in his life, stretched out before him. The sky above them was dotted with dramatic gray clouds, which were racing across it, blown forward by the heavy wind.</p><p>His mother’s perfect coiffure was already destroyed. Strands of hair had come loose around her face and were blown into her eyes.</p><p>“This is Godric’s Hollow”, she said, pointing to a cluster of buildings down the hill, with a little church most prominent in the center.</p><p>Gellert’s own hair was dancing a wild dance across his face and made it hard for him to see anything. His mother led the way, grabbing her blue silk dress with both hands in order not to soil it; it clearly had been raining recently and the floor was very muddy. On the way, she told him that is was not allowed to Apparate right into the village, for despite the high concentration of magical families, there were still a lot of Muggles living there who would be startled.</p><p>“I figured this was the best way to do it. I thought of Apparating right into Bathilda’s living room, but sometimes it is hard to hit exactly the right spot, and I couldn’t risk appearing right outside the window or in her bedroom! Mind you, I’m not exactly well rehearsed when it comes to Apparating these days.”</p><p>Gellert let her chatter along while they made their way through the picturesque village, noting that she was probably just as nervous as himself. He made the strange discovery that, despite them being the closest of blood relatives, they didn’t really know what to talk to each other about.</p><p>They came to halt before a small, two-storey cottage, with a well-kept garden in the front. His mother produced a forced smile. “This is it, apparently.”</p><p>She rang the doorbell, and after a short while, Aunt Bathilda appeared in the front door. Apart from the warm smile she wore on her face, she looked exactly as she had on the picture in “De-Mystifying the Mysterious.” Her simple cotton dress made her look quite like a Muggle, only the wand sticking out of one of the pockets exposed her as a witch.</p><p>“Now this must be my dear Marina and her lovely Gellert!”. She approached and took the hands of Gellert’s mother into her own. “It has been… years, hasn’t it? Quite the proper lady you’ve become!”</p><p>His mother didn’t seem to enjoy the compliment too much; her lips tightened only enough for Gellert to notice.</p><p>“Bathilda. It is lovely to see you. And so kind of you to agree to take in poor Gellert!”</p><p>Her English was immaculate, Gellert noticed, her German accent only showing ever so slightly. He was suddenly ashamed to speak, so he only smiled at Bathilda, who now moved to grab his hands as well.</p><p>“Gellert! Welcome to England, my dear! I gather this is your first time here?”</p><p>“Yes”, he said. “Thank you for… your invitation.”</p><p>All the English words he had ever learned seemed to have vanished from his head. His English lessons at Durmstrang seemed like a part of another lifetime.</p><p>“Don’t you ever mention it! It is lovely that I finally get to meet you, Gellert.”</p><p>Gellert wondered if, despite her way of talking like she had been dying to meet him for years, she had even known of his existence before his mother’s request. For now, he decided to let that feeling wash over him, the feeling of being accepted, wanted, and maybe even loved, of having a relative who genuinely cared about him.</p><p>Bathilda ushered them into the living room where she had prepared tea and scones. Cast in a warm afternoon sun that had just come out from under the clouds, the room looked like part of a fairy-tale. Gellert sat down on the sofa and accepted tea and Bathilda’s amicable chatter. His mother, however, seemed jittery, as if she was desperate to escape the situation.</p><p>“So, didn’t you tell me once that you had two children?”, Bathilda asked casually at some point.</p><p>“Three, actually. Gellert was the first”, his mother replied.</p><p>“Oh well.” Bathilda seemed confused. “I’m sorry that I’ve lost track! Time passes so fast. What about the other two, then? Do they attend Durmstrang as well?”</p><p>“I’m afraid they… haven’t been blessed with the gift of magic”, Gellert’s mother replied sourly.</p><p>Bathilda looked concerned. “I’m sorry to hear that. Of course, there’s no shame in being a Muggle! I’m sure they’re splendid young people.”</p><p><em>Still, she loves them, </em>Gellert thought bitterly.</p><p>“They are indeed. Now, Gellert… he is… was the best student in his year at Durmstrang. Maybe even beyond that. He wrote me about all his prizes and achievements. Didn’t you, Darling?”</p><p>Gellert had to suppress a laugh at her attempt of mimicking the proud mother. He had indeed written her about all of them, but had never received a reply.</p><p>At that moment, a flash of something made him twitch. It was the vision of another day, in the past or the future; a dark day with rain pouring down heavily. There was a terribly sadness pressing down on him. <em>Gone before her time… leaving behind all those children…</em></p><p>He managed to pull himself out of the vision back into the sunlit living room.</p><p>The first thing he saw was Bathilda’s concerned face. “Are you alright there, Gellert?”</p><p>He couldn’t manage to stay with her, however; seconds later the vision was back and he reckoned it wasn’t possible to fight it. Just as he had learned, he gave in and tried to keep his head clear.</p><p>
  <em>This is a vision. Let it pass.</em>
</p><p>He saw a cemetery, with some people in black robes; a funeral, clearly. The rain matched the somber atmosphere and the floor was muddy beneath their feet. A girl with dark brown hair stood in the middle, crying: “Where is Mama?”, but no one seemed to pay her any mind. Gellert wanted to go over to her and help her, but then the vision was suddenly over and he found himself back in the living room, breathless and with a heavy pressure on his chest that made it hard to breath.</p><p>Bathilda was still looking at him.</p><p>“Gellert, what’s happening to you?”</p><p>He blinked to adjust to the here and now and to assess whether another vision would follow, but it seemed to be over now, so he pushed himself up into an upright position, as he had slid down slightly on the sofa.</p><p>“I’m… has there been a funeral here recently?”</p><p>Bathilda looked baffled. “No, not that I know of. Well, a Muggle lady, a few weeks ago, but she was old, very old.”</p><p>“No, it has to be… someone younger, someone who has a young daughter…”</p><p>Bathilda’s look grew even more concerned, if possible, but his mother interrupted them, rather impatiently: “You see, Aunt Bathilda, Gellert is a Seer. He has these moments, but they pass and mostly it’s just utter nonsense.”</p><p>“A Seer?”, Bathilda replied with some awe in her voice. “Then you are truly gifted, my dear Gellert! I know how much of a burden it can be, though. I wrote a book about it, about the Sight and its perception throughout history. You wouldn’t believe the stories I came across…”</p><p>“I know, I’ve read most of it!”, Gellert replied, excited. He had just remembered that his great-aunt was an acclaimed historian and the author of the book he had read, even though it hadn’t provided him with the knowledge he had been searching for.</p><p>“Well, I see you two have a lot to talk about!”, his mother interrupted them and stood up before they could continue their conversation. “I’m afraid I have some matters to attend to at home, so I have to leave you already.”</p><p>“So soon, Marina?”, Bathilda asked, sounding quite disappointed.</p><p>“I hope we’ll see each other soon, Aunt Bathilda, and longer. Thank you again for agreeing to take Gellert in. I’m sure he will prosper under your care.”</p><p>Gellert and Bathilda accompanied her outside, from where she was to walk back to the hill and Disapparate.</p><p>“I will give you two a moment to say goodbye”, Bathilda said and took her hands. “Marina, it has been a pleasure. Remember you are always welcome. We’re family, after all.”</p><p>“Bathilda, the pleasure has been all mine.” They hugged stiffly and Bathilda made her way back to the house, leaving Gellert alone with his mother.</p><p>“Have you even told her I was expelled?”, Gellert asked as soon as she had vanished from sight.</p><p>“I have, but not why. That’s up to you. Just make sure to be friendly, attentive, helpful...”</p><p>“Yes, mother, I know what to do. It might surprise you, but I can actually be a quite likable person.”</p><p>She sighed. “I’m sure you can. Just don’t blurt out your visions all the time, it can be quite… disturbing.”</p><p>“It’s not like I <em>want </em>to do that!”</p><p>“I know, I know! Just don’t mess up again, alright, Gellert? I don’t want to have to look for a new home for you again in a few weeks.”</p><p>“You won’t have to. I promise.”</p><p>“That’s my boy!” To his surprise she stepped forward and pulled him into an awkward hug. “When you come of age… feel free to visit. Just make sure to arrange a time, alright? And send me an owl or two to let me know how you are doing. Until then… farewell.”</p><p>“Farewell, mother.”</p><p>He hadn’t hugged her back, so strange was the sensation of her slender body against his, the scent of her flowery perfume in his nose. Then, she had already stepped back, given him a quick smile, and turned around the corner. Gellert stood there until the sound of her footsteps on the pavement had vanished.</p><p>…</p><p>Bathilda was already waiting for him to show him his room. It was upstairs, next to her own bedroom. Despite being very small, it was quite cozy with a small, but comfortable looking bed, a cupboard and a wooden desk facing the window. The view was lovely as well; he could directly look at the garden with its swaying trees.</p><p>Bathilda looked slightly nervous as she showed it to him, as if scared that it wouldn’t be enough, but Gellert beamed at her with gratitude.</p><p>“Thank you so much, Bathilda. It looks… how do you say… comfortable?”</p><p>She smiled and pressed his arm. “You can definitely say that. We’ll work on your English, Gellert, don’t worry… you’ll be fluent in no time!”</p><p>She was definitely right. Gellert had almost forgotten the thrill that came with learning a new and foreign language, of diving deep into a foreign culture. None of his English teachers at Durmstrang had been a native speaker, so this was an entirely new experience for him. Sitting on his bed deep into the night he would try to say certain words in a way that didn’t show his accent, he would try to imitate the flow of the language, would memorize idioms and proverbs. During the day, he would show off his new skills to Aunt Bathilda, who seemed to take at least the same pleasure from his progress as Gellert himself.</p><p>They settled into an easy rhythm and Gellert he found really enjoyed life at Godric’s Hollow. Aunt Bathilda’s “supervision”, as his mother had called it, turned out to be more of an uncomplicated offer of shelter and food; during the day, he was free to do as he pleased. Although he relished his new freedom, he made sure to spend some time with her each day, just enough to make sure he didn’t bother her. She turned out not only to be a knowledgeable historian, but also an incredibly skillful witch, and she taught him many spells he knew he would miss in his last year at Durmstrang.</p><p>“Well, I guess I’m your legal guardian now, and since there’s no school you can get expelled from, it won’t be much of a problem if I teach you some things”, she chuckled.</p><p>However, only about two hours after he had cast his first spell, he heard the doorbell ring and opened the front door, as Bathilda was busy in her study.</p><p>A serious looking wizard wearing a top hat and a traveling cloak was standing before him, looking slightly bemused.</p><p>“And who might you be, young man?”</p><p>“Gellert Grindelwald”, he replied politely, extending his hand. The wizard took it and shook it with a firm grip.</p><p>“Austin Crothers, I am here on behalf of the Ministry of Magic. I would like to talk to Miss Bagshot, if possible?”</p><p>“Of course. My aunt will be right with you, Mister.”</p><p>Bathilda, however, was already approaching from behind.</p><p>“Mr. Crothers, I believe?”, she said with barely contained annoyance.</p><p>“Miss Bagshot. I am here because there has been a suspected violation of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery in this house. The Ministry sends me to investigate.”</p><p>“My dear Mr. Crothers!” Bathilda was suddenly all smiles and stepped back from the door to let him in. “We’re only too happy to enlighten you on that matter. I think we have a special case here.”</p><p>And within minutes, Bathilda had led Mr. Crothers into the living room, handed him a cup of tea and some bisquits, and persuaded him to let Gellert practice underage magic, promising him she it would all be under her supervision and never in front of Muggles.</p><p>“He’s a very gifted boy, you see. It’s an unfortunate turn of events that he got expelled from his school, but they have <em>very different </em>standards there. The poor students are encouraged to perform very dark magic, and Gellert, being a rather sensitive boy, just couldn’t do it. He would have excelled at Hogwarts, I’m sure. A magical talent like that is rare and must be guided!”</p><p>“Well, Miss Bagshot, I will present your case to the Ministry. It is highly unusual, I must admit, but given you are a well respected member of the magical community, I think we can talk about making an exception…”</p><p>“I hope so, Mr. Crothers. It would be such a shame to let his talents go to waste.”</p><p>When he had left, she turned to Gellert with satisfaction. “I’m glad we have sorted that out. I was afraid they would turn up at my doorstep sooner or later, but they sure didn’t waste any time!”</p><p>“Aunt Bathilda”, he interrupted her, “you haven’t asked me why I got expelled yet.”</p><p>Silence followed, and Bathilda’s face turned unusually serious.</p><p>“So”, she replied after a moment, “do you want to tell me?”</p><p>He suddenly wasn’t quite sure anymore, even though a moment ago it had seemed like the right thing to do. During the time since he had arrived, they had consistently avoided the topic, but Gellert felt it would be easier not to have this sort of taboo anymore.</p><p>“I think so, yes. Even though I’m not sure if you’ll just throw me out of your house afterwards.”</p><p>Bathilda sighed. “To be thrown out of<em> Durmstrang</em> I knew it had to be something pretty extreme. I’m not sure I even <em>want </em>to know. But if you need to talk about it… be my guest.”</p><p>“You might find it interesting from a magical perspective, though”, Gellert replied, not sure what to make of her answer. He had expected her to be curious about it, only waiting until their relationship would be close enough for these kind of conversations.</p><p>“Alright, Gellert”, she said and pointed to one of the armchairs. “Sit down then, and tell me.”</p><p>It felt liberating, talking to her about it, even though he had told the story before. Mostly, it was good to be free of the obstacle between them. He had not overestimated the effect his tale would have on her; when he was finished Bathilda was literally staring at him.</p><p>“Are you serious? This is what got you expelled?”</p><p>“Well, I guess I am.”</p><p>“My dear boy, I don’t know what to say! It is horrible indeed, but… if only you had been around earlier, when I was writing my book! Mind you, I was writing utter rubbish when I said the spell has been lost and there is no record of it… You have to tell me all about it!”</p><p>Gellert was somehow relieved at her reaction, as her curiosity had clearly won over her dismay. It was much better being considered an object of study than a monster. So he went into detail, told her how he had gone without food and sleep for days, and how Ognyan had helped him with the owl blood and the spell.</p><p>“So you and that boy… what was he to you?”, she asked casually after thinking for a moment.</p><p>“Which boy?”</p><p>“The one you did the ritual with, of course?”</p><p>Gellert felt his heart skip a beat. “Well, I… why do you want to know? He was a friend… from school.”</p><p>Her eyes narrowed slightly, as if she was considering something very important.</p><p>“Interesting… well, if I’m not mistaken, I remember some sources I used for my book that said… the spell can only be cast by someone who has carnal relations with the person the spell is cast on. That’s what makes it so difficult. Of course, I didn’t have the original source, I was looking for it in vain. It was only speculations… so I was curious.”</p><p>Gellert’s head felt slightly dizzy and he didn’t know what to say. “That wasn’t written in <em>my</em> book.” It had been more of a coincidence that he had slept with Ognyang, a plan to get him to do what he wanted, and to satisfy the hunger the newfound power had awaken in him. Had it been the very thing that had made them succeed?</p><p>Even though he didn’t say more, Bathilda seemed to take his silence for an answer.</p><p>“So it is true, then! Well, don’t look at me like that, Gellert. You’re a handsome young man and you want to enjoy your youth. Nothing wrong with that. Only that spell… well, we will talk more about your visions later. I never quite believed… and now you’re sitting in front of me as the living proof!”</p><p>She walked away mumbling to herself, leaving behind an embarrassed Gellert who felt his head was burning from shame.</p><p>From that day on, there was a new familiarity between them, and for the first time in his life, Gellert felt he had met someone he could truly be himself with.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know that in the HP books, it is implied that Gellert arrived in Godric's Hollow after Albus and after Albus' mother died. Since this is a fanfiction, however, I decided to change that little detail and to give him a little time to adjust first :).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As days turned into weeks, Gellert found that his visions didn’t plague him as much as they used to. Maybe it was the fresh spring air and the sight of bright pink and white blossoms everywhere that occupied his mind, or maybe the continued practice of what Luise’s great-grandfather had taught him. He made sure to practice at least an hour every day and was surprised that his efforts were beginning to bear fruit. More and more, he became able to just blank out the visions if they happened to occur during a conversation or when they were otherwise unwelcome; they were somehow still running in the background, but he was able to keep his attention on the present moment. This was especially convenient as it enabled him to function normally in everyday life, as he had always been afraid of just blacking out during moments when the Sight overwhelmed him. Just as the old man had said, they became like another stream of consciousness next to his regular thoughts. If he didn’t pay special attention to them, he sometimes almost forgot about them.</p><p>
  <span>However, h</span>
  <span>e had not seen the auburn-haired boy since he had come to Godric’s Hollow, a fact that caused him great despair. As much as he liked his life at the moment, he sometimes feared that he had at some point made a wrong decision that </span>
  <span>had caused </span>
  <span>a certain</span>
  <span> turn of events, which</span>
  <span> would lead </span>
  <span>to</span>
  <span> him not meet</span>
  <span>ing</span>
  <span> the boy eventually. He had always relied on what he saw to be the future; but what if it was only a possibility that could or could not happen, depending on what he did or did not do?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although he repeatedly told himself that it had only been a vision, </span>
  <span>that it meant nothing, he still felt frustrated, as if someone important to him had just left h</span>
  <span>im behind</span>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>It never does well to dwell too long on a vision. </em>
  <span>The old man had told him that, and he knew it to be true. Still, despite himself, he desperately wanted the vision to return. Instead, he saw the funeral more and more often, but never managed to get more information out of the scenery than before; he only saw a few anonymous people, some of whom he had seen </span>
  <span>around</span>
  <span> the village. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>May and June, however, passed without a funeral. The days were calm and uneventful, and Gellert spent them studying with Aunt Bathilda, practicing his vision controlling, </span>
  <span>exploring the hills and meadows beyond the village, running some errands for Bathilda and talking to pretty much everyone on the way. He became acquainted with every </span>
  <span>witch and wizard</span>
  <span> in the village, </span>
  <span>even with some Muggles</span>
  <span>, and after some time nobody asked him were he was from anymore. His unusualness only came down to the fact that he was even </span>
  <em>there, </em>
  <span>as </span>
  <span>all the other young witches and wizards were gone.</span>
</p><p>“<span>It is such a pity that you don’t get to </span><span>meet</span> <span>any </span><span>young people of your age”, Bathilda lamented again and again. It truly seemed to bother her. “They’re all at Hogwarts, of course, </span><span>but most of them will be back by the end of June. There are a couple of nice young fellows I want to introduce you to. You will enjoy your time </span><em>much more, </em><span>I’m sure, if you don’t have to spend </span><span>all of it</span><span> with an old lady!”</span></p><p>
  <span>However, Gellert suspected </span>
  <span>she wanted</span>
  <span> more time for herself, as she had recently started working on a new book, and he could tell she was deeply passionate about it. She got up at dawn and when Gellert got out of bed at around nine, she had already been working for hours. Still, she made sure he always got a good breakfast and his daily lessons. </span>
  <span>Gellert wasn’t sure if he was really looking forward to the return of all these Hogwarts students; he had somehow come to enjoy his solitude </span>
  <span>and the equilibrium of his relationship with Bathilda. </span>
</p><p>And he was right, for the first time he got to meet a British teenager was quite an unpleasant experience.</p><p>
  <span>He was on his way to buy some groceries for dinner </span>
  <span>on the last day of June, when he saw the figure of a tall woman approaching </span>
  <span>on the street</span>
  <span>, whom he had seen from afar several times, but never actually gotten close to. Bathilda had once told him who she was; her name was Kendra Dumbledore. </span>
  <span>Although her face had a carved quality about it that could be considered beautiful, s</span>
  <span>he always wore her black hair in a tight bun and had a look on her face that could </span>
  <span>have </span>
  <span>turn</span>
  <span>ed</span>
  <span> fresh milk sour.</span>
</p><p>“<span>She has a tragic past, a very tragic past”, Bathilda had said with a sigh when Gellert had asked her about it. “The family moved here a couple of years ago, </span><span>well, she and the children, </span><span>but she wouldn’t say what happened to the father.”</span></p><p>“<span>But why?”</span></p><p>“<span>You’re not the only </span><span>person</span><span> keeping secrets, Gellert”, Bathilda </span><span>had </span><span>replied somewhat impatiently, and </span><span>he </span><span>took the hint that she didn’t want to say more on the matter. </span></p><p>
  <span>This time, Kendra was accompanied by a boy slightly younger than </span>
  <span>him</span>
  <span>, who had a belligerent air about him and seemed strangely familiar, despite the fact that Gellert was quite sure he had never seen him before. Kendra had always been or her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gellert noticed the boy’s look </span>
  <span>at</span>
  <span> him from afar, and it made him uncomfortable. Determined to ignore them, he looked away and decided he would only shortly greet them upon passing. </span>
  <span>Before he could say anything</span>
  <span>, however, the vision shot back into his head, quickly, like lightening; he was seeing the funeral again, </span>
  <span>and suddenly he heard a voice that he had not heard </span>
  <span>in the vision </span>
  <span>before. </span>
  <em>How did it happen? I only saw Kendra yesterday. I never thought… </em>
  <span>As much as he tried to, there was no use in letting the vision just pass, it overwhelmed him like in the old times. All his practice seemed to be for nothing. He couldn’t help but stare at the real Kendra Dumbledore before him, the vision blurring his eyes, and </span>
  <span>gasp</span>
  <span> for air.</span>
</p><p>“Hey!”, he heard someone shout, and suddenly the vision was gone. It was only then he realized that he had stumbled into their way and almost bumped into Kendra, who was looking at him with confusion.</p><p>“<span>I’m sorry”, Gellert stammered, </span><span>backing off</span><span> as fast as he could, thinking of what best to say to explain his odd behavior. </span></p><p>“What are you staring at my mother for?”, the boy barked at him and Gellert turned to him apologetically.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry, I just…”</p><p>“It’s alright, Aberforth”, Kendra interrupted them and took the boy’s arm. “I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm.” Despite Kendra’s friendly words, her face continued to look stern and she didn’t smile.</p><p>“So you’re new here, huh?”, the boy called Aberforth continued with a suspicious look at Gellert. “I haven’t seen you at Hogwarts, have I?”</p><p>“How do you even know I’m a wizard?” Gellert decided that the best way to counter his questions was a counter question. “For all you know, I could be a Muggle and you would have just blurted out your secret.”</p><p>Aberforth laughed while Kendra looked distressed. “Of course you’re a wizard. Your clothes, your weird eyes… I have never seen something like that in a <em>Muggle.</em>”</p><p>“Aberforth, that’s quite enough”, Kendra interrupted him. “Leave the boy in peace.”</p><p>“You want to know if it’s true, right?”, Aberforth continued without paying her any heed. “You want to know if it’s true what they say about my father, right?”</p><p>
  <em>Now, this is interesting.</em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gellert had now idea what he was talking about, but he figured it was worth a try </span>
  <span>finding </span>
  <span>out. Although he had been eager to get out of the situation before, he decided to stay and wait what else the boy would </span>
  <span>reveal</span>
  <span> in his agitation.</span>
</p><p>“Well, is it?”, he asked and saw rage flaring up in Aberforth’s eyes. Kendra’s firm grip kept him in place, however, which prompted him to grab his wand and point it at Gellert.</p><p>
  <span>Gellert himself considered his option</span>
  <span>s</span>
  <span>, when a simple truth suddenly </span>
  <span>appeared</span>
  <span> in his mind.</span>
</p><p>“You’re not even allowed to do magic, are you?”, he said with a smile, drawing his own. “But <em>I</em> am.”</p><p>“Enough!”, he suddenly heard a voice that made his heart sink, and when he turned around, he saw Bathilda hurrying toward them, her face twisted in anger.</p><p>“Gellert, what is it that you’re doing? I told you to get some vegetables for dinner, not to harass people on the street!”</p><p>She came to a halt next to them and turned to Aberforth’s mother.</p><p>“<span>Kendra, I’m terribly sorry. This is my great-nephew, Gellert Grindelwald. He’s staying for the summer. </span><span>All of his misbehavior is my responsibility.”</span></p><p>“Don’t worry, Bathilda”, Kendra replied with the same strange mixture of friendly words and a stern expression. “Aberforth was the one who provoked it. I’m sure Gellert didn’t mean any harm.”</p><p>“He was starring at us!”, Aberforth growled, putting away his wand. “He’s just like the others. They either stare because of my father or because my brother is Hogwarts new brilliant golden boy.”</p><p>“Gellert doesn’t know about either of that”, Bathilda tried to appease. “By the way, how is your brother, Aberforth?”</p><p>The boy only shrugged, but his mother seemed relieved to answer the question: “He’s preparing to leave and travel the world with his friend from school. He was very excited when I last spoke to him. As a mother, however, pride and excitement always mix with worry. They grow up so fast, don’t they.”</p><p>“<span>Indeed”, Bathilda replied. She turned to Gellert. “Now please, apologize to Aberforth and I hope we can </span><span>all</span><span> forget </span><span>about </span><span>this little </span><span>encounter.”</span></p><p>“Please, Bathilda, there’s no need for that”, Kendra interrupted. “We will be on our way.”</p><p>“I’m sorry”, Gellert said and extended his hand, for he had his own reasons for ending this meeting as soon as possible. He was agitated, there was something he desperately needed to tell Bathilda.</p><p>Aberforth took it reluctantly. “I’m sorry, too.” His expression told otherwise.</p><p>Some smiles and courtesies followed, and the Dumbledores were on their way. After they had turned the corner, Gellert turned to Bathilda and grabbed her by the arm.</p><p>“Bathilda, it’s her! <em>She’s</em> going to die! It’s her funeral I keep seeing!”</p><p>Bathilda looked even more serious than before. She clearly had been about to scold Gellert, but now she looked at him with horror. “What are you saying?”</p><p>He felt like he was about to cry. Never had a vision been so clear, so unambiguous. It filled him with dread like cold water.</p><p>“We have to do something! Can’t we… do something about it?”</p><p>“Now, now, calm down. Tell me what you have seen. Why are you so sure it’s Kendra’s funeral?”</p><p>“They were saying her name and… I don’t know, I just know it’s her! She has a daughter too, doesn’t she?”</p><p>Bathilda suddenly grew tense and she looked at him with an expression that terrified him even more.</p><p>“How do you know that?”</p><p>“I told you, I’ve seen it! A girl with dark brown hair, about twelve maybe? She’s at the funeral, too. She’s crying for her mother.”</p><p>For the first time since they had met, the eloquent Bathilda seemed at loss for words. Even worse, though, was the look in her eyes, for she looked truly afraid and Gellert knew that he was responsible for her fear.</p><p>“So what are we going to do?”, he asked, slightly calmer, when she didn’t say anything. Surely, she would have a solution for all of this.</p><p>However, she only shook her head, closed her eyes, and, very quietly, said: “Nothing.”</p><p>“Nothing?” Gellert couldn’t believe what he had heard. “We can’t just let her <em>die</em>, can we?”</p><p>“Gellert, has any of your visions become reality so far?”</p><p>He thought about it for a moment, puzzled. Indeed, there had been no occasion up to this point that showed that his visions were anything more than crazy tricks his mind was playing on him. The boy he had been seeing had never appeared, nor the frenzied crowd chanting his name. Only in a few instances had his visions proofed to be true: the strange girl with the bloodied pelvis he had been seeing around his mother and the wolf vision of Luise. Both, however, had been part of the past or the present, and not of the future. He had no idea about how certain it was what he was seeing.</p><p>“Not really, but…”</p><p>“So how can you be so sure it is going to happen? If I have learned anything from my research, it is that the future is an elusive thing. Even the greatest Seers of all time are reluctant to try and influence it. Many times, people have made happen the very thing they feared by trying to avoid it. And there are so-called self-fulfilling prophecies. Sometimes a thing will happen <em>because </em>you know it will happen.”</p><p>“So you will just… let it <em>happen </em>then?”, Gellert asked incredulously.</p><p>“Well, what is it that you know, actually? Do you know how she’s going to die? The cause of her death? No. So how are you going to help her avoid it, provided she is to die at all?”</p><p>Bathilda was whispering now, as some people were passing by. She greeting them by nodding and smiling shortly, then turned back to Gellert.</p><p>“What would you do if someone came to you and told you they had seen your death? I’ve read about people who have gone mad with fear at the prospect and just died of fear alone. If you don’t have any clear idea about how to prevent her death, what is it that you’re planning to do?”</p><p>“<span>Well, I… we could tell her to be more careful or… ” Gellert had to admit that he had not really thought </span><span>it through</span><span>. </span></p><p>“<span>And then? Fact is, we don’t really know anything. So we will not do anything. </span><span>Poor Kendra has enough on her mind with that poor girl and her oldest leaving home to go out into the world.</span><span>”</span></p><p>“But…”</p><p>“<span>Gellert, you’</span><span>re</span><span> a very young man and you decided to carry out the Pythia spell against better judgment. Now you have to live with the burden of having knowledge, but being powerless. </span><span>It is far too heavy for someone so young. But this was your decision and you have to come to terms with it. </span><span>And</span><span> live with it. That’s all I’m going to say about this matter.”</span></p><p>And it was, for she didn’t bring up the topic again. Gellert could barely sleep that night nor the one after that. Deprived of sleep, his visions became more powerful and caused him a terrible headache. The second of July was a bright and hot summer day, and Gellert woke up drenched in sweat, though not only because of the heat. He had let the window open the night before and had listened to the chirping of the crickets outside while tossing and turning around; now it was still open and already the hot summer air was wafting in.</p><p>He got up with difficulty to collect his clothes and was about to go down for breakfast when he heard the front door opening. It was highly unusual for Bathilda to leave before having breakfast with him, but before he could go downstairs and ask her where she had gone, he already heard her voice calling his name. It sounded piercing and sharp, something it had never done before, and there was a clear and undisguised panic in it.</p><p>“Gellert, could you please come down for a moment?”</p><p>He was down in a heartbeat. She looked shaken and in a state of an absolute loss of control, like Gellert had never seen her.</p><p>“<span>What happened?”, he asked, but he already knew before </span><span>s</span><span>he even started to speak.</span></p><p>“<span>Kendra… Dumbledore.” Her voice was barely more than a </span><span>croak. “She died last night. Nobody knows what happened. What a terrible tragedy.”</span></p><p>Gellert was suddenly overcome by the feeling of terrible anger, even though he knew she wasn’t the one it should be directed at. Still, he felt a strong urge to shout at her, and in frustration he cried: “I told you!”</p><p>It felt like it was all his fault, as if he could have saved her if only he had insisted more, if only he had thought harder about a solution. Now it was too late. Was that to be his fate? Like Cassandra, who was doomed to see the downfall of Troy without being able to prevent it?</p><p>
  <span>Without waiting for her answer he stormed out of the house, suddenly hating his life, even though deep down he knew it was him who had forced it upon him</span>
  <span>self</span>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>…</p><p>
  <span>The funeral was to be held one week later, a week during which Gellert barely spoke to his aunt. Bathilda seemed very shaken herself and so they went their separate ways most of the time. Gellert spent a lot of time outside, wandering around </span>
  <span>t</span>
  <span>he fields surrounding the village, thinking to himself about what to do with his life. He had been happy here with Bathilda, but now the sobering truth had come back to him: he was homeless, deprived of his magical education, and, quite positively, </span>
  <span>insane</span>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hot </span>
  <span>and sunny </span>
  <span>during the whole time, but on the morning of the funeral thick dark clouds collected in the sky and a quiet thunder could be heard from far away.</span>
</p><p>Of course. It had been raining in his vision.</p><p>“Do you want to come? To the funeral, I mean?”, Bathilda asked him while pouring him some tea at breakfast.</p><p>“Are you going?”</p><p>“<span>Certainly. And I would suggest you </span><span>come as well. Maybe it will help you come to terms with … what happened.”</span></p><p>Gellert sighed. Maybe she was right. “Mind you, I was dying to meet Aberforth again.”</p><p>Bathilda ignored his attempt at humor, sat down and drank her tea without a further comment. In the early afternoon, they got ready, and Bathilda put a jinx on his clothes to look black rather than the bright colors he usually preferred. When they left the house, raindrops were beginning to fall.</p><p>“Oh dear, it has started to rain. It might be over quick, though.”</p><p>“It won’t”, Gellert replied. “It will be raining the whole time.”</p><p>
  <span>She gave him a suspicious glance and went back to get </span>
  <span>an </span>
  <span>umbrella. </span>
  <span>On the way to the cemetery she told him that it would be a so-called “inclusive” funeral, which meant Muggles could be present. </span>
  <span>As </span>
  <span>Kendra had been Muggle-born, apparently it had been decided she would have liked the presence of a priest. </span>
</p><p>“Just in case.”, Bathilda said, clutching his arm as they made their way through the gates of the cemetery, where a small crowd was gathering. “You never know for sure what’s on the other side.”</p><p>
  <span>The rain had become heavy by now and Gellert could barely see from beneath the rim of the umbrella. He quietly muttered a</span>
  <span>n Impervius charm to keep himself and Bathilda dry, but they had to keep the pretense of the umbrella, at least in front of the Muggle priest.</span>
</p><p>“Let’s pay our respects to the family first”, Bathilda muttered, still keeping close to him under the umbrella.</p><p>
  <span>Gellert suddenly felt his heart pumping hard in his chest, for he knew what would happen </span>
  <span>now</span>
  <span>, who he would see. He thought of the brown-haired girl and how she would cry for her mother, and though he felt like he wouldn’t be able to take it, he came along as Bathilda tugged h</span>
  <span>im</span>
  <span> into the direction of a small group of people huddled together. </span>
</p><p>When they approached, one of the figures turned around and Gellert expected to see Aberforth, but then suddenly it hit him like a blow. He had been so occupied with his thoughts and visions and all the things that had happened that he had not really thought of him in a long time, but when he saw his face, everything came back to him.</p><p>
  <span>E</span>
  <span>verything fell into place. Everything made sense. And at the same time, nothing did.</span>
</p><p>He wanted to take his hand, to say his name.</p><p>
  <em>Albus.</em>
</p><p>…</p><p>He was just as beautiful as he remembered him, maybe even more so. Gellert must have stared, but managed to tear his eyes away and fix them onto his feet. Bathilda’s voice reached his ears, like from far away, while his thoughts were racing.</p><p>“<span>My dear, dear Albus. My deepest condolences for your loss. </span><span>There are no words</span><span>.”</span></p><p>
  <span>When Gellert raised his eyes, Albus was looking at him and when their eyes met, his heart skipped several beats. </span>
  <span>Albus’</span>
  <span> were bright blue, just like in his visions, and had the same mesmerizing radiance that couldn’t let him look away. </span>
  <span>He was the type who looked good even </span>
  <span>overcome with grief</span>
  <span>; he was beautiful in his mourning, looking tender and strong at the same time. His auburn hair </span>
  <span>fell to his chin, wavy but not quite curly, and surrounded an even face that resembled his late mother’s. </span>
</p><p>“Thank you, Bathilda. There are no words indeed. It is so surreal that this is happening to <em>us… </em>No one saw it coming.<em>”</em></p><p>Albus was talking to Bathilda, but looking at Gellert. He wondered if he should say something, too, but everything sounded wrong in his head.</p><p>
  <em>I have seen you so many times. I’ve made love to you in my head. I know your name and the taste of your skin. I’ve dreamed of your body against mine.</em>
</p><p>“My condolences”, he said instead, because he couldn’t think of anything else.</p><p>“Thank you”, Albus replied, his voice suddenly sounding softer, like a question.</p><p>“Albus, this is my great-nephew, Gellert Grindelwald. He came to us from Berlin and will stay for the summer. I only wished that the two of you had met under happier circumstances.”</p><p>Albus shot Aberforth a glance that told Gellert he had probably heard about their encounter, and Aberforths raised eyebrows said the same thing.</p><p>“Welcome, Gellert”, Albus said and extended his hand. Gellert took it and almost shuddered at its warmth, at their first real touch. It seemed like they couldn’t break their eye contact for a second; Gellert feared he could be gone in a second, should he blink.</p><p>“Thank you.” Their hands lingered slightly too long until Gellert pulled his away; the moment had felt almost too intimate for him to handle. He was confused even though at this moments the visions were completely silent-- here he was at the funeral he had dreaded for weeks, and all he could think about was how Albus’ eyes could be so impossibly blue.</p><p><span>It was only then that he noticed the girl, standing next to him. She looked exactly like in the vision too, </span><span>maybe slightly taller and slightly older, about fourteen. There was something odd about her, the way </span><span>her eyes were fixed</span> <span>on</span><span> a point far away, as if some kind of spectacle was taking place there that she couldn’t take her eyes off. </span></p><p>“Bathilda, I’m not sure if you’ve met my sister”, Albus said. “This is Ariana. Usually she’s to frail to go outside, but we decided it was important for her to understand what happened.”</p><p>“I’m pleased to meet you, Ariana”, Bathilda said tenderly. This made the girl turn her head, her brown hair swinging slightly. Only she wasn’t looking at Bathilda, but at Gellert as well. He wondered if she was seeing things, too; things that other people couldn’t.</p><p>“Why do you have two different eyes?”, she asked him.</p><p>Albus smiled slightly and Gellert couldn’t decide whether to look at her or him; they were both so mesmerizing in their own way. “Ariana, that’s not a thing to ask someone.”</p><p>“It’s alright”, Gellert said. “I was born that way.”</p><p>“It looks weird”, she said, but it didn’t sound like she thought that was a bad thing at all.</p><p>“<span>Well, in case you’ve forgotten, we’ve got a funeral to get over with”, Aberforth interrupted </span><span>her </span><span>and seemed to destroy a spell that had </span><span>been weaving</span><span> around them. </span></p><p>Albus cleared his throat as if suddenly coming to his senses. “You’re right, Aberforth. We should greet the other guests. Bathilda, Gellert… thank you so much for coming.”</p><p><span>That seemed to be it, </span><span>and</span> <span>Bathilda </span><span>turned to leave, dragging Gellert with her; but when he passed Albus, so closely that he could quickly smell his scent (fresh and clean, like soap, and something faintly flowery), he heard him mumble: “Let’s talk more later, Gellert.”</span></p><p>
  <span>The way he whispered his name, low and under his breath, sent Gellert’s stomach </span>
  <span>into turmoil. </span>
</p><p>“<span>He’s quite a brilliant boy”, Bathilda said when they had settled at the back of the small group of people, all waiting for the priest to appear. “He </span><span>has </span><span>won every possible prize at Hogwart</span><span>s, </span><span>was made prefect, Head Boy, you name it… and he</span><span> has published some </span><span>groundbreaking</span><span> papers </span><span>in noted journals… </span><span>I was disappointed when I heard </span><span>he would go traveling and </span><span>you wouldn’t get to meet him. I can’t say I’m glad he’s back, given the circumstances, but… I guess you two will have a lot to talk about.”</span></p><p>“<span>So you’re hoping some of his brilliance will rub off on me, is that it?”</span></p><p>“Don’t be silly, Gellert, you’re every bit as brilliant as he is, only… you like to transcend your limits a little too much.”</p><p>“So you’re saying he’s just like me, only the decent kind?”</p><p>
  <span>At that moment, the priest appeared and spared Bathilda an answer. All that talk of Albus’ brilliance had </span>
  <span>somehow </span>
  <span>woken </span>
  <span>the</span>
  <span> strange ambition in Gellert </span>
  <span>to </span>
  <em>taint </em>
  <span>him, find the flaws under all that brilliance that just </span>
  <em>had </em>
  <span>to be there. He knew that no matter how good someone’s intentions were, the world didn’t always give you the choice to act upon them. </span>
  <span>Goodness was mostly about your circumstances, not your choices.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>M</em>
  <em>aybe it’s about time you try to transcend your limits as well.</em>
</p><p>It was hard for Gellert to listen to the sermon; he was too busy looking at Albus who started to sob uncontrollably when the coffin was lowered into the grave. Aberforth patted his back, which Gellert thought was strange; <em>he </em>wasn’t the big brother after all. There weren’t many people present and, as Bathilda told him between her teeth, most of them had not been on speaking terms with Kendra.</p><p>“I’m sure most of them are here to find out how she died”, she whispered into Gellert’s ear with a sour glance at the bystanders. “Some of them came for Albus, but the biggest attraction here is the mystery of her death.”</p><p>The priest didn’t drop a hint, however, probably he didn’t even know himself. He only spoke about resurrection, redemption and the comfort of knowing that Kendra’s soul was immortal as Jesus Christ had given his life for her.</p><p>It probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Gellert, but it did, that Ariana suddenly started to cry. Just like he had seen, she started to look around, confused, and shouted: “Where is Mother?”</p><p>A murmur went through the crowd and Gellert had the same urge to go over and help her somehow; he wasn’t a stranger to confusion after all. Nobody did anything, however, and she went on crying and mumbling to herself. At some point, Aberforth finally took her by the hand and led her away, though her sobs didn’t stop and could be still be heard from far away, gradually growing more and more distant. A wave of relief could be felt running through the crowd.</p><p>“That poor girl”, Bathilda whispered.</p><p>“What’s wrong with her?”</p><p>“Nobody knows, really. She is normally kept inside, it’s the first time I’ve even seen her. God knows why they decided to bring her. I don’t think it made her understand anything!”</p><p>After the ceremony, the gathering dissolved and only Albus stayed still in front of the grave. As if following some unspoken agreement, Bathilda and Gellert both started to move into his direction. Upon approaching him, Gellert could see silent tears running down his face. A sense of deep mourning had gripped him himself, even though he had not known Kendra; however, there seemed to be a collective sadness in the air that had affected him as well.</p><p>“<span>May she rest in peace”, Bathilda said with just the right amount of severity in her voice. Gellert wondered how she was so good with people; she seemed to know to say </span><span>just </span><span>the right thing at the right time, whereas he was in a situation that left him at a loss for words. He just wished he was more in control, now that he had finally met </span><em>him. </em></p><p>“Do you think she will come back as a ghost?”, Albus said with a faint smile beneath his tears. “I think that’s highly unlikely.”</p><p>They all stood silent for a moment and Gellert noticed that Bathilda had laid her arm around Albus’ shoulder. It awoke a strange feeling of possessiveness in him; <em>he </em>should be the one doing that. Suddenly all of the suppressed desire resurfaced, everything he had pushed to the bottom, and along with it all the visions as well. He told himself to breath. This was important.</p><p>“Albus, please come and visit soon. I know you must be devastated, but it will be good for you to get some distraction. And Gellert here needs a friend.”</p><p>Gellert inwardly rolled his eyes at her words, which made him sound like a needy little boy, but he did agree with their content, so he kept silent.</p><p>“I will. Of course. Thank you.”</p><p>Albus turned his head to look at Gellert, who was standing on his other side, and again their eyes met in a blaze that made something in Gellert’s stomach flutter madly.</p><p>“It was nice meeting you, Gellert. I’m sorry that it couldn’t be on a happier occasion.”</p><p>“I hope we’ll meet again, then.”</p><p>“Of course. Definitely.” Albus almost stammered the words and looked away, but Gellert knew at that moment that they would. He had seen it, after all. Just as he had seen the funeral and Albus’ weeping sister. All that he had seen would become true.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Again, he barely slept.</p>
<p>
  <em>This is becoming a new habit, </em>
  <span>he thought to himself when he got up and looked at the crescent moon shining through his window. His Inner Eye was wreaking havoc </span>
  <span>and he was seeing the same things he had been trying to let go for weeks. There were new images, </span>
  <span>too</span>
  <span>; he </span>
  <span>was </span>
  <span>suddenly </span>
  <span>s</span>
  <span>eeing things and people </span>
  <span>that had never appeared before</span>
  <span>. He was trying not to </span>
  <em>look, </em>
  <span>not wanting</span>
  <span> to see death and d</span>
  <span>estructio</span>
  <span>n again. In the end, he just sat on his bed, closed is eyes and tried to follow the old man’s instruction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Breath in. Breath out.</em>
</p>
<p>He sat there for what felt like hours, until he managed to fall into an uneasy sleep. The next morning he felt worn out and jittery and didn’t even manage to get through his daily lessons with Bathilda. She looked worried and sent him back to bed after lunch, and he readily obliged since lying down was all he felt capable of doing.</p>
<p>
  <span>Gellert had not </span>
  <span>realized</span>
  <span> he had </span>
  <span>drifted off to sleep</span>
  <span>, </span>
  <span>floating</span>
  <span> between dreams and visions, until he was suddenly </span>
  <span>woken up</span>
  <span> by an urgent knock on the door.</span>
</p>
<p>“Gellert. Gellert!”, he heard Bathilda whisper.</p>
<p>“Come in”, he said groggily while trying to figure out where he was and whether <em>this, </em><span>at last, was actually reality. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Bathilda entered the room. </span>
</p>
<p>“<span>There’s Albus here to see you!”, she went on whispering. “I expected he would come over sooner or later, but I didn’t think </span><span>it </span><span>would </span><span>be </span><span>straight away. He acted as if he wanted to talk to me about some of his publications </span><span>or something,</span><span> but it’s quite obvious he was hoping to talk to </span><em>you. </em><span>Are you able to come down?”</span></p>
<p>Gellert was suddenly wide awake. Just like Bathilda, he hadn’t expected Albus to follow their invitation the next day already, and he wasn’t at all prepared. Not that he actually knew what to prepare for. Collecting his clothes from the chair and the floor, he hurried to get dressed.</p>
<p>“I’ll be down in a second.”</p>
<p>
  <em>So he must be feeling it, too.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He probably wasn’t looking his best self, but </span>
  <span>didn’t have the time</span>
  <span> to care about that at all. </span>
  <span>Going </span>
  <span>down </span>
  <span>the stairs </span>
  <span>into the living room, his heart fluttered as he saw Albus sitting there. If anything, he was looking even more beautiful than the day before; his tears had dried </span>
  <span>and he looked more composed. When he saw Gellert, </span>
  <span>however,</span>
  <span> his eyes seemed to grow restless, as if he couldn’t decide where to keep them.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Albus!”, </span><span>Gellert</span><span> called and Albus got up nervously to greet him. They shook hands. </span></p>
<p>“I told Bathilda not to wake you, but she insisted. I hope that was alright.”</p>
<p>“Definitely”, Gellert said and sat next to him on the sofa, making sure to be as close to him as possible without seeming intrusive. Their legs were almost touching. “I didn’t want to miss your visit! Bathilda’s told me all about you. It sounds like you’re quite the genius.”</p>
<p>
  <span>H</span>
  <span>e could tell his proximity was making Albus even more nervous. </span>
  <span>At Gellert’s words, he blushed slightly and gave him a weak smile. “She’s most certainly exaggerating.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gellert couldn’t believe that he was sitting next to him after all this time, in flesh and bone, enticing and </span>
  <em>real. </em>
</p>
<p>“<span>So how long </span><span>will you be in Godric’s Hollow</span><span> for, Albus?”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>That definitely had been a mistake to say, for </span>
  <span>a gloom seemed to fall on Albus’ face</span>
  <span> and he looked like he was swallowing down some tears. </span>
  <span>His bottom lip trembled and Gellert remembered suddenly what it had felt like sucking on this lip, and how the little moans </span>
  <span>had sounded </span>
  <span>falling</span>
  <span> from it. </span>
</p>
<p>“<span>For the time being.</span><span> There is no other p</span><span>la</span><span>ce for me to go. My sister needs someone to look after her; you saw that she’s not well. My brother needs to go back to school, so he can’t stay with her. There… there isn’t much money left and… well I guess I’ll be here for a while.” </span></p>
<p>“<span>You know”, Gellert </span><span>said</span><span> and approached his face slightly </span><span>s</span><span>o he was closer to Albus’ ear, “I’m kind of here against my will, too. </span><span>At least we’re stuck here together.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>A</span>
  <span>lbus looked surprised at his words and Gellert could hear a slight hitch in his breath that told him he probably wasn’t used to this kind of familiarity. For Gellert, it was easy to be around people; he had an instinct that told him if someone was comfortable with what he was doing or not. Touching was a natural part of his interaction with others, though he could immediately tell that for Albus, it was not. So he kept his hands to himself and avoided </span>
  <span>a casual touch to his shoulder or pat on his arm, as he would probably have done with someone else.</span>
</p>
<p>At that moment, Bathilda arrived in the room with a tablet and served them some strong, hot coffee that she had brought from Egypt, which revived Gellert’s senses somewhat.</p>
<p>“So what leads <em>you</em> here?”, Albus asked him when they had taken the first sips and Bathilda had sat down opposite of them on an armchair.</p>
<p>“I wanted to improve my English and spend some time with my lovely great-aunt”, Gellert replied with what he hoped to be a winning smile.</p>
<p>Bathilda raised an eyebrow. “Don’t let him fool you! He got expelled from Durmstrang, so his mother hoped I would have a good influence on him.”</p>
<p>“You did?” Albus gave him a look of both shock and fascination. To a model student like him, the idea of being expelled from school had to be truly appalling.</p>
<p>Gellert expected him to ask why, but instead he asked: “So what are you going to do?”</p>
<p>Gellert shrugged. He had not even asked himself that question. <em>If only I knew.</em></p>
<p>“Who knows? Elope, travel the world, start a revolution?” He laughed. Albus didn’t. Something new had appeared on his face, something like apprehension. He didn’t seem to know what to make of the story, but the fact didn’t seem to dampen his fascination with the boy in front of him.</p>
<p>“It is a pity, though”, Bathilda said after another sip of coffee. “Gellert was the best student of his year in Durmstrang, maybe the best ever. Almost annual winner of the Igor Maximov prize, I was told.”</p>
<p>“Igor Maximov? Isn’t he a known Muggle-hater?”, Albus replied, still sounding somewhat worried.</p>
<p>“<span>More someone who encourages wizards and witches to reach their highest potential”, </span><span>Gellert said with a shrug. He was surprised Albus had heard of Maximov, who was controversial in contemporary magical societies, but owned a fortune and dedicated a greater part of it to the promotion of research </span><span>about magic</span><span>. </span></p>
<p>“So what did you do research on?”, Albus asked eagerly, suddenly in his element. Gellert was glad they had moved off the thin ice.</p>
<p>
  <span>They kept on talking about his achievements, </span>
  <span>and the more they kept talking, the more Gellert realized that Albus </span>
  <em>was</em>
  <span> truly brilliant</span>
  <em>. </em>
  <span>It was subtle at first, the way he showed it, </span>
  <span>asking just the right questions, </span>
  <span>making</span>
  <span> it clear he </span>
  <span>actually had a very deep understanding of</span>
  <span> what Gellert was talking about-- something that had rarely happened to him so far. He was used to people listening in awe, complementing him on how his mind worked, but never quite following </span>
  <span>through</span>
  <span> to the end. Albus was keeping pace, however, and Gellert felt enthusiasm at how he </span>
  <em>understood </em>
  <span>his words, drinking them in, contemplating and even questioning them. His curiosity felt inspiring, and after a while Gellert felt almost dizzy from talking, his voice slightly hoarse. The visions had almost completely vanished. </span>
</p>
<p>At some point, Bathilda got up quietly. “I will leave you boys to yourselves. I’m very sorry, but I have some work to do and I see you’re in good hands, Albus.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Bathilda. I hope I wasn’t keeping you from your book.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, my dear. It’s always lovely to see you. I wish I could spend more time with you, but I’ve been very busy and once inspiration hits… we’ll talk about your questions some other time. For now, I will leave you with Gellert.”</p>
<p>“That’s quite alright. Thank you for the coffee.”</p>
<p>Gellert had the strange feeling that she was finding an excuse to go, as if she was a silent ally of his. Whatever her reasons were, he suddenly found himself alone with Albus, who didn’t seem to be nervous around him anymore. Just like Gellert, it seemed like he couldn’t stop talking.</p>
<p>“Tell me about yourself”, Gellert continued. “you’ve finished Hogwarts this year, right?”</p>
<p>Albus nodded sadly and told him how he had been ready to leave and travel the world when the news of his mother’s death had reached him in London, and how he had returned.</p>
<p>“<span>I don’t really know what to do”, he confessed. “I feel so lost.” </span><span>Gellert felt it was safe to quickly press his hand, not long enough for it to seem strange. </span></p>
<p>“And what about your friend… Elphias? Did he leave anyway?”</p>
<p>“He came to the funeral yesterday but then… I didn’t want to keep him. We’ve been preparing for this journey for the whole last year. Chosen all the places we wanted to go… Isn’t it strange? How quickly things can fall apart? One moment you’re happy, and then… Did you feel the same way? When you were expelled?” There was desperation in his look and something passed between them unsaid.</p>
<p>
  <span>Gellert felt something rising in his chest. Again, there was this feeling of a connection he had never felt with anyone before, not even with Mehmet, who had been his friend for many years. This wasn’t what he had seen. He had seen desire and carnal pleasures, but he had not felt </span>
  <em>this, </em>
  <span>this primal force </span>
  <span>drawing </span>
  <span>them together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What am I </em>
  <em>going to do</em>
  <em> with you, </em>
  <span>he </span>
  <span>wondered</span>
  <span> and something like fear gripped him when he realized that this was beyond his control. </span>
</p>
<p>“Yes”, he said finally. “That was exactly how I felt.”</p>
<p>He had not really admitted this to himself yet, how being expelled had pulled the ground from beneath his feet, how he was still reeling from that feeling of not having a home anymore, of not belonging anywhere.</p>
<p>There was a moment of silence between them, even though Albus was still looking at him with those insanely blue eyes.</p>
<p>“What did you come to talk about with Bathilda?”, Gellert finally asked to break the silence.</p>
<p>“Well”, Albus started, his eyes suddenly shining with enthusiasm again, “There’s something that really caught my interest during my last few months at Hogwarts and I wanted to dive deeper into it, maybe do some research on my travels. Now I’m here, but… maybe it isn’t the worst place for it, either.”</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“Have you heard… well, no, it’s kind of stupid.”</p>
<p>“<span>Come on, tell me!”, Gellert </span><span>laughed</span><span>, and slightly pushed his shoulder. “I can’t imagine something stupid coming out of </span><em>your </em><span>mouth…”</span></p>
<p>Albus chuckled as well, then quickly got serious. “Have you ever heard of the Deathly Hallows?”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Gellert’s heart started pumping hard. <em>The Deathly Hallows. </em>Something seemed to click into place-- was <em>this </em>the solution? Why he was seeing the symbol? It seemed terribly plausible. He had never even thought of connecting all the different visions, had always treated them as separate, but now he realized they were all part of some string of events and mutually dependent. Kendra’s death, Albus’ arrival in Godric’s Hollow… maybe this was how it was meant to be. Maybe the Deathly Hallows were what brought them together and it was their destiny to <em>share </em>all this power.</p>
<p>“Yes”, he replied, excitement in his voice. “I have read about them all week long when I was in Berlin!”</p>
<p>He told Albus about the library, omitting the part about how he had become interested in the Hallows in the first place. While he was talking, though, he remembered the vision of the crowd chanting his name, amid flaming blue fire, and he realized they were chanting only <em>his </em>name, not Albus, not Dumbledore. Yet, he pushed the vision away. What he had just discovered seemed too precious to even question it.</p>
<p>
  <span>Albus’ eye seemed to sparkle </span>
  <span>while he was telling him all about the library and the thousands and thousands of books</span>
  <span>, and he grew more and more </span>
  <span>restless</span>
  <span> as Gellert spoke. In the end, he exclaimed: “But what a coincidence, Gellert, that we both came across them!”</span>
</p>
<p>“You know that I don’t believe in coincidences?”, Gellert replied and Albus gave him a look that almost made his heart stop.</p>
<p>“You surely know, then, that the three brothers from the story are rumored to be the Peverell brothers, right? Do you know that they were all from Godric’s Hollow?”</p>
<p>Suddenly, with a flash, it all came back to him-- <em>that </em>was were he had heard of the village before! He had read about it in one of the books about the Hallows and he also remembered when and where.</p>
<p>“One of them… is buried here, right? One of the brothers”, he replied and Albus nodded frantically. “Yes, Ignotus Peverell. I have seen the grave! I will show it to you, if you like.”</p>
<p>“<span>Anytime”, Gellert said with a smile, moved by Albus’ enthusiasm. </span><span>A lifeliness</span><span> seemed to have returned to him that had been absent at the funeral and even at the beginning of their meeting. He was truly amazing. Gellert realized now that most of his appeal didn’t derive from his physical beauty, which was outstanding as well, but from the radiance of his mind and thoughts, which was visible </span><span>in</span><span> his eyes and every fiber of his being. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Their eyes locked again and Gellert didn’t quite know what to say. Albus stayed still, too, only looking at him with something indecipherable in his gaze. </span>
  <span>He thought about taking his hand, lifting his own to stroke his cheek, they all seemed the right things to do. However, </span>
  <span>they only kept looking at each other, both aware that something extraordinary was going on, </span>
  <span>something</span>
  <span> they couldn’t </span>
  <span>quite classify. </span>
</p>
<p>Then, the spell seemed to break, as Albus glanced at the clock on the wall.</p>
<p>“Oh dear, I have to get back. Aberforth will be mad, I said I would be back after about an hour.”</p>
<p>Gellert didn’t want him to go, his presence felt so comforting and intoxicating at the same time. He couldn’t decide if he felt calmed down or exhilarated.</p>
<p>“I’ll walk you home, then.”</p>
<p>It was a few more stolen minutes, as Albus’ home was only two streets away, but as they were walking, Gellert realized that he had not felt this good in weeks. There was something about Albus that put it Inner Eye at rest, like an always crying baby that had finally fallen asleep.</p>
<p>“<span>I’m </span><span>so</span><span> glad we’ve met”, Albus said when they reached his front door and stood for a moment, unsure of what to say. “I know I should probably stay at home and mourn my mother… but I just feel so trapped in there.”</span></p>
<p>“Your mother wouldn’t like you to stay home and feel trapped, would she?”, Gellert said, smiling.</p>
<p>“No, she probably wouldn’t.”</p>
<p>This was the moment to leave, Gellert knew it, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to. Albus seemed expectant too, as if something vital they were both waiting for hadn’t happened yet.</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll see you”, he finally managed to say, but before Albus could reply, the door flew open.</p>
<p>“‘I’ll be back in an hour!’”, Aberforth mimicked Albus with barely concealed anger in his voice. “She’s been calling for mother for hours, I don’t know what to do!”</p>
<p>His eyes landed on Gellert and he cockily raised his eyebrows. “So. We meet again, Gellert.”</p>
<p>“Aberforth.” He didn’t bother to smile, as the remark clearly had not been meant in a friendly way. At that moment, a head with brown hair appeared at the door next to Aberforth. Ariana looked different from the day before, when she had been combed and wearing clean and tidy clothes. Now, there was something wild and uncontrolled about her, her eyes dancing around like flickering candles. Her hair was disheveled and looked as if she had been shaking her head around furiously.</p>
<p>“Albus, Aberforth doesn’t want to tell me where Mother is. He says she’s not coming back! Where is she, Albus?”</p>
<p>Gellert saw something shatter in Albus’ eyes and knew that the magical enchantment that their afternoon together had cast over them was shattered as well. It seemed to be a different Albus, not the curious, enthusiastic, radiant Albus he had spent his time with, but a different version; gloomy, stern, worn down by his responsibilities and the need to exercise authority.</p>
<p>“Ariana, get back inside. I’ll be with you.”</p>
<p>“Who are you?”, Ariana suddenly asked Gellert, who had been planning how to best escape this unpleasant situation quickly.</p>
<p>“We’ve met yesterday at the funeral, Ariana, remember? I’m the one with the strange eyes.”</p>
<p>He looked at her directly to show her, and something like recognition seemed to form in her stare, but before she could answer, Albus moved to usher her back into the house.</p>
<p>“Come on, Ariana. Gellert, thank you for walking me home. I’ll see you soon.” He met his gaze almost apologetically, then closed the door.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>
  <span>It was two full days until they saw each other again, </span>
  <span>during which</span>
  <span> Gellert </span>
  <span>spend an unhealthy amount of time</span>
  <span> thinking </span>
  <span>of </span>
  <span>Albus. Of course, he had been thinking of him before, but being an anonymous person in his visions, it had been different. </span>
  <span>N</span>
  <span>ow that they had actually met, </span>
  <span>he felt drawn to him in a new way. Suddenly he wanted to share his every thought </span>
  <span>with him,</span>
  <span> wanted to know what Albus would think of this and that; and when he was practicing with Bathilda two days after their encounter, he was so distracted that his attempt to produce a patronus only rendered some silvery mist. Bathilda sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>“Well, it is very advanced magic, but honestly, Gellert, I thought you would do better. Mind you, you’ve set the bar high already. But you don’t seem to be fully present. Is it your visions again?”</p>
<p>He shook is head; in fact, his visions were surprisingly quiet at the moment. Since he had unlocked his Inner Eye, he couldn’t remember having such a clear head. “No, I’m just… I’m just thinking a lot…”</p>
<p>Bathilda sighed and lowered her wand. “I guess we’ll better leave it at that, then. Why don’t you go outside a little, enjoy the sun? It’s quite a lovely day.”</p>
<p>
  <span>She was right; after </span>
  <span>two</span>
  <span> rainy and slightly cooler days, the temperature had risen again and the sun stood high and bright in the sky. Gellert was wearing a </span>
  <span>loose linen </span>
  <span>shirt she had bought for him when he stepped out of the house. It was good to take a walk, feeling as restless as he did, but of course his steps would only lead him to one place, the only place he really wanted to go.</span>
</p>
<p>He didn’t really think much about whether it was a good idea to knock, he just did. To his delight, it was Albus who opened the door instead of Aberforth. His face seemed to immediately light up when he saw Gellert.</p>
<p>“Gellert! I wanted to come over and see you today, but Aberforth desperately wanted to go out, so I had to stay home.”</p>
<p>“Well, next time you can send an owl and invite me over.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to keep you from enjoying this wonderful summer day.”</p>
<p>“Summer days come and go.”</p>
<p>Albus stepped back to make way. “Why don’t you come in? I cannot offer you much, but… ”</p>
<p>“I think your company should be more than enough”, Gellert replied with a smile and stepped inside, passing Albus as closely as he could. Being invited in was more than he had hoped for, especially with no Aberforth to disturb them.</p>
<p>Being inside the house, however, gave him a strange feeling. The atmosphere seemed to change as soon as he crossed the threshold; it was like stepping into another season. The cottage was built similarly to Bathilda’s house, but it had nothing of its slightly chaotic coziness. Instead, it was dark and so tidy it made Gellert almost anxious. He could see that none of it was Albus’ doing, the interior had clearly been arranged by his mother, and it had the touch of someone who seemed to have been overly cautious. It didn’t seem like a magical house at all; apart from the few pictures moving in their frames, there were no magical items to be seen.</p>
<p>
  <span>They entered the living room, which was </span>
  <span>filled</span>
  <span> with slightly old-fashioned furniture. Gellert sat down on a couch upholstered with worn-down velvet. Heavy curtains surrounded the windows and seemed to keep out the light and the heat without actually being drawn. </span>
  <span>A heavy </span>
  <span>grandfather </span>
  <span>clock gave a steady ticking noise; like most things in the house, it didn’t seem </span>
  <span>to be </span>
  <span>in any way bewitched, it was just an ordinary clock. </span>
  <span>To his surprise, he could see a piano </span>
  <span>standing </span>
  <span>in the corner. </span>
</p>
<p>“Do you play?”, he said, pointing at it. Albus, to his disappointment, had not sat down next to him on the couch, but instead chosen one of the armchairs opposite of him.</p>
<p>“My mother taught me when I was younger”, he said with a slight blush. “I haven’t really done much practicing ever since I went to Hogwarts. It always seemed a very Muggle kind of thing to me.”</p>
<p>“I’ve never heard anyone play in real life”, Gellert admitted, his curiosity winning over him. The suggestion was clear in his voice and Albus thought for a moment, then got up reluctantly.</p>
<p>“Alright, but don’t expect anything too extravagant.”</p>
<p>“It’s hard to imagine something you’re not good at.”</p>
<p>Albus laughed while sitting down on the stool. “There are many things I’m not good at. I’m good at magic, so that covers most things. But the world is vast and there are many skills to be learned.”</p>
<p>He tentatively pressed a few keys and it sounded clumsy, childish almost. Gellert wondered when he had played for the last time. Maybe this truly wasn’t one of his skills. But then, the notes somehow began merging into each other and formed a melody-- sad, but full of longing. It was surprising how easily his fingers seemed to remember after a moment of hesitation. Gellert suspected one didn’t just forget how to play, that it was some kind of body knowledge that would stay even if the mind had forgotten.</p>
<p>
  <span>Gellert had never been very interested in music, especially piano music-- like Albus had said, it was a terribly “Muggle” thing to engage in, and the composers were Muggles, all of them. But still, there was something magical about it indeed, the way the heavy, melancholic tune affected him without direct physical force. His heart felt heavy with a deep </span>
  <span>yearning</span>
  <span> and oh, so drawn towards th</span>
  <span>e</span>
  <span> boy playing these tunes. </span>
</p>
<p>If anything, Albus looked more beautiful and somehow strangely powerful. It was a power that had nothing to do with magic, but gave Gellert an idea of the internal force that he possessed, a feeling that left him overwhelmed. All he could do was listen and give in to this feeling, and suddenly he knew he had never wanted another person like this before.</p>
<p>Then suddenly, in the middle, the music stopped.</p>
<p>“I have forgotten the rest!”, Albus exclaimed, sounding slightly frustrated. He turned around and looked at Gellert expectantly.</p>
<p>“That was… amazing. Maybe you should go on playing? Take lessons, maybe?”</p>
<p>Albus smiled sadly. “I have neither the time nor the money. Anyway… let the Muggles play with their pianos. Maybe they’re better at it.”</p>
<p>Gellert smiled. “I doubt there is <em>anything </em>the Muggles are better at. Just imagine what you could do with that magically… if you combine the beauty of music with magic… just imagine what you could <em>do </em>to people. You could make them feel anything.”</p>
<p>Albus seemed fascinated, and as he stood up and went over to the armchair, Gellert patted the space next to him on the couch. “Come, sit with me.”</p>
<p>There was only a slight hesitation from Albus, then he dropped down next to Gellert. He was glad that Albus had not chosen to bring distance between them, but instead sat as close to him as possible without touching him.</p>
<p>“So, were is Ariana?”, Gellert asked, remembering why Albus was actually staying at home on this beautiful day.</p>
<p>“She’s in her room. By the way, she seems to have quite a crush on you. Yesterday she wouldn’t stop talking about you and your eyes. She called you ‘handsome’ a lot, until Aberforth actually told her to shut up.” They both laughed shortly at this.</p>
<p>“He’s usually really tender with her”, Albus continued, “he can handle her much better than I can. But when she was talking about you all evening, he just lost it.”</p>
<p>“He hates me, doesn’t he?”</p>
<p>Albus looked slighty surprised. “Hate you? No, I don’t think so. He doesn’t even know you. It’s just been a lot for him… for the both of us. He actually wants to quit Hogwarts and take care of her. I won’t allow it, though.”</p>
<p>“Why not? He doesn’t seem like the type who enjoys studying and learning all too much.”</p>
<p>“<span>He doesn’t. Not at all. His grades are </span><span>catastrophic</span><span>, to be frank. But just imagine him leaving school without a degree.”</span></p>
<p>“That’s what I did.”</p>
<p>“But you’re different, Gellert! You’re smart and intelligent, smarter and more intelligent than most people I’ve met. I cannot remember meeting anyone I could have a conversation with like we had the day before yesterday. Everyone can see that you have a brilliant mind, you will find your way, no doubt. But with Aberforth, it’s different. He’ll need <em>proof </em>that he is capable of finishing school and… do proper magic and all of that. I have no doubt that he loves Ariana, but will he always know what’s best for her?”</p>
<p>He noticed Gellert’s broad smile and stopped talking. “What?”</p>
<p>“So you think I have a <em>brilliant mind, </em>do you?”</p>
<p>Albus threw his head back and gave a short laugh. “Come on, don’t be so smug about it! You know that, of course.”</p>
<p>Still smiling, Gellert replied: “It’s different to hear <em>you </em>say it, though.”</p>
<p>Within seconds, though, Albus’ smile vanished as his thoughts seemed to wander back to his brother, his sister, his whole situation. It angered Gellert somehow to see him like this, as he had seen that there was a playful side of him, curious and enthusiastic and eager for whatever the world had to offer.</p>
<p>
  <em>You shouldn’t be trapped like this. Neither of you should.</em>
</p>
<p>“Where is Ariana?”, he asked after a brief moment of silence.</p>
<p>“She’s in her room. It’s where she’s safest.”</p>
<p>“You speak as if she was a bag of explosives that has to be kept away from fire.”</p>
<p>“In a way, she is.”</p>
<p>Gellert frowned. He thought about asking what in Merlin’s name had happened that they thought a young girl such a threat she couldn’t even be allowed to leave her room. Then, another idea occurred to him and he jumped up.</p>
<p>“Let’s go out.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Let’s get Ariana and go out.”</p>
<p>“Gellert, it’s not that easy. We can’t just…”</p>
<p>“It’s such a beautiful day, do you think it is human to lock her into her room with the sun shining outside? No wonder she’s going insane.”</p>
<p>“She’s not locked…”</p>
<p>“Come on, Albus, you want it, too! <em>I </em>would go insane in here.” It was true, since he had entered the house it had become harder to focus and some of his old visions seemed to have resurfaced even though they had already happened. Since Albus’ last visit, his mind had been relatively quiet, but something about the place seemed to trigger his Inner Eye, and not in a good way.</p>
<p>He could see from the look on Albus’ face that, despite being doubtful, the idea was taking hold of him.</p>
<p>“But what if… what if she has one of her fits…”</p>
<p>“Albus, we’re two highly skilled wizards, I’m sure we can control her if the need would arise. But I’m also sure it won’t come to that. You can’t stay in this gloomy house all day long. I won’t permit it.”</p>
<p>Albus smiled and stood up slowly. “So you’re making the rules now?”</p>
<p>“I guess so.”</p>
<p>Albus sighed. “Aberforth is going to kill me.”</p>
<p>“He’s your little brother, isn’t he? Why are you taking orders from him? <em>You’re </em>the smart one.”</p>
<p>That seemed to do it and Albus’ resolve crumbled.</p>
<p>“Alright then. Let’s go.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He stood up and went up the stairs, leaving Gellert behind. He could hear a muffled conversation from upstairs, then, a few minutes later, some reluctant steps. When he turned around, he saw Ariana coming down-- still in the slightly unsettled state he had seen her in two days before.</p><p>She would be quite pretty, he realized, if she didn’t have this disturbing uneasiness about her, as if something inside her was trying to get out and could barely be contained. It wasn’t just the way her hair hung disheveled around her face and her dress was crumbled and torn in some places. There was this feeling about her that she didn’t even trust herself, that some unseen menace was hanging above her like the sword of Damocles.</p><p>Despite all this, or maybe because of it, Gellert felt some sort of kinship with her. He knew what it was like to have something inside you that you couldn’t control, after all.</p><p>“Hello little one”, he said when she reached the room.</p><p>“I’m not little”, she replied, slightly defiant. It was true; she was a fourteen year old girl on the brink of womanhood. Still, there was something childish in her demeanor, as if she had never been allowed to truly embrace any other role than the child who had to be cared for.</p><p>“I’m sorry, you’re right. You’re a little lady already. Now, we have to get you ready to go out. Please, stand still.”</p><p>He quickly drew his wand and saw her twitch; still, her curiosity seemed to prevail and she didn’t move again while Gellert cast a beautifying spell on her. Albus, who was standing behind her and had been watching the scene with a mixture between amusement and apprehension, gasped at the result. Gellert had always been very adept at beautifying charms, and managed to mend and straighten her dress, put her hair in a neat braid and cast an invigorating glow on her face with just a swipe of his wand.</p><p>“You have to teach me that!”, Albus exclaimed. “She looks… Ariana, just look at yourself in the mirror!”</p><p>Ariana, who must have felt that something had happened to her, ran out into the hallway and a delighted giggle told them she was as happy with the result as her brother. But more than that, it was Albus’ grateful smile that made Gellert’s heart jump.</p><p>“You look like a young lady now. Are you ready to go out? I thought we could have a picnic.”</p><p>They had followed her into the hallway and Gellert beheld his work with pride. Ariana turned around and beamed at him, looking at that moment just like any other girl who loved to think of herself as pretty.</p><p>“A picnic?”, she repeated with wonder in her voice. “I’ve never had one before.”</p><p>“Then it’s about time!” Gellert winked at Albus and then moved to step out into the sunlight, with the Dumbledore siblings following in his wake.</p><p>…</p><p>They quickly went to Bathilda’s place and Gellert got some provisions from the kitchen, then they left the village to climb up the hill Gellert had apparated to with his mother some months ago. It was hot and Gellert and Albus were drenched in sweat when they reached the top; only Ariana, still touched by magic, didn’t look the slightest bit disheveled.</p><p>It was moving how the girl marveled at all the small things that Gellert had always taken for granted. She breathed in the fresh air, stopped several times to feel the sun on her face, let her hands run over the tall grass or the bark of different kind of trees. She plugged flowers of all colors on her way and let Albus put some in her hair, making her giggle with delight. Still, Albus didn’t seem to be able to relax completely, there was an air of apprehension around him still.</p><p>“She seems to be happy. You, however, don’t”, Gellert said at some point, when she had skipped ahead and out of earshot.</p><p>“I’m still not sure this was a good idea.”</p><p>“Don’t you see how much she’s enjoying it?”</p><p>“You don’t know how bad it can get. You’ve never seen her. One small thing can trigger it, even at moments when she seems completely at ease.”</p><p>Gellert felt safe to lay a hand on his arm and press it gently. “Calm down. Everything’s alright. We’re going to have a beautiful day together.” To his delight, Albus gave him a little smile that made his stomach flutter. He looked radiant in the sunlight, his auburn hair shimmering almost red.</p><p>They reached a spot overlooking the village under the shade of a tall cherry tree, and spread a blanket that Albus had conjured out of thin air onto the floor. Gellert made sure that Albus sat in the middle, so he could settle down at his side. Luckily, the blanket was small enough for their shoulders to slightly touch.</p><p>Ariana looked on excitedly as Gellert lit a woodless fire to boil water for tea.</p><p>“Isn’t it too warm for tea?”, Albus asked with a grin.</p><p>“Yes, but just for the fun of it”, Gellert replied with a wink. Albus finally seemed to have relaxed a little, now that they had reached their destination without any incident. Ariana was showing no sign of having any kind of “fit”, as Albus had called it, even though Gellert still had no idea what that was supposed to mean. She looked at him with fascination.</p><p>“You’re really good at magic, aren’t you”, she stated while watching him closely as he cast little jinxes to cool down the drinking water he had extracted from the air.</p><p>“Not as good as your brother, I imagine”, he said with a look at Albus, blissfully aware that their shoulders were still touching. “What about you? Can’t you do magic, too?”</p><p>He felt Albus tense next to him, but Ariana just shrugged and said: “I’m not allowed to.” That seemed to close the matter for her and Gellert didn’t press any further, since he felt that he had ventured on dangerous ground.</p><p>They ate some cake, apples, fresh strawberries and what else Gellert had managed to snitch from Bathilda’s pantry. Ariana wasn’t so much interested in the food, but more in the surroundings, and at some point Albus allowed her to have a look around, but told her several times not to wander too far.</p><p>“I think her crush on you will only get worse after this”, Albus chuckled when she was out of earshot, chasing some butterflies. “Should I be worried?”</p><p>Gellert realized that there was more room on the blanket now and he could have easily moved away to give Albus some more space. However, he didn’t, and neither did Albus.</p><p>“Have I given you cause to doubt my honorable intentions?”, Gellert replied with a wink. “Don’t worry, Albus, I only want her to have a good day. I want <em>you </em>to have a good day.”</p><p>Albus turned his head to look at him, as if to ascertain he was serious.</p><p>“We just buried our mother three days ago. I don’t think we’re supposed to have a <em>good day.</em>”</p><p>He closed his eyes and everything seemed to come back to him. With a deep sigh, he went on: “I know I should feel bad, I should stay at home, watch after my sister, mourn my mother… but somehow, when I’m around you, I feel… good, Gellert.” Opening his eyes again, he gave him a tentative look. “I haven’t met someone I could talk to so easily in a long time. Who really understood me. Do you think it’s wrong? That I want to spend more time with you?”</p><p>Gellert’s heart gave a leap. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Even though he knew what he had seen in his visions, he sometimes felt doubtful. What if he had imagined it all? What if this was just some hazed dream and all these notions about how they were meant to be together was some great misconception? This was the first time he had received some kind of signal from Albus that he could be feeling something similar.</p><p>“Why can’t it be both?”, he said after contemplating what Albus had said for some time. His breath was going slightly shallow now and he felt his heart beat faster. Looking into Albus’ eyes felt natural now, like they were meant to be locked with his and make them both forget the world around them. “Why can’t you mourn your mother, look after your sister <em>and </em>enjoy being with me?”</p><p>Albus hesitated, not taking his eyes away. Gellert silently prayed that he wasn’t only imagining the change in the atmosphere, this s<em>omething </em>drawing them together.</p><p>“I don’t know. Somehow I feel being in mourning and enjoying yourself is kind of mutually exclusive, isn’t it?”</p><p>“It doesn’t have to be”, Gellert replied quietly. “I don’t want to act all wise and experienced, but things don’t always happen at the right time, Albus. Sometimes you’re not prepared for something to happen and it doesn’t quite fit into your life and your plans. But still, it does happen, and the only thing you can do is grasp it with both hands. What did you say the other day? How easily things fall apart? Why would you waste your time? I’ve been waiting for many years to meet someone like you, for someone to exchange my thoughts with. I’ve had many friends at school, but I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone. So why should we wait for weeks or month until we… enjoy our time together?”</p><p>Something seemed to snap in Albus’ head; his gaze suddenly became softer and there was a kind of feeling in it that accelerated Gellert’s heartbeat even more. He didn’t know when they had gotten so close to each other, only inches between their faces.</p><p>“Gellert, I…”</p><p>All he could think about how he desperately wanted to kiss him <em>right now. </em>His cheeks were flushed, probably not only because of the heat, and little strands of auburn hair were stuck to his slightly sweaty face.</p><p>
  <em>Merlin, I’ll die if I don’t kiss you.</em>
</p><p>“Albus! Gellert!”</p><p>They sprang apart, startled, when they heard their names, not sure if the scream was in horror or delight. It turned out to be the latter, because when Albus jumped up and cried: “Ariana!” they saw her skipping into their direction, a gleeful expression on her face.</p><p>“I saw a rabbit, a real rabbit! It ran away right away, but… Albus, I’m <em>sure </em>it was one…”</p><p>“It was probably a hare”, Albus replied, taking her hand with obvious relief and slowly leading her away from their picnic place.</p><p>“What’s the difference?”</p><p>Albus went on explaining and left Gellert alone, wondering if Albus felt the same confusion as he did at what had just happened. He only knew for sure he had never wanted another person so much in his entire life; his crush on Mehmet seemed laughable, a sweet childhood dream, compared to what he was feeling now.</p><p>
  <em>It must be because we’re meant for each other, to find the Hallows together. </em>
</p><p>And just at that moment, his Inner Eye flared up and he saw himself, much older, looking at a man he had seen before, a man he suddenly realized was Albus, also much older. His hair was greying and he had a beard, but there was no mistaking his piercing blue eyes, and Gellert shivered at the power emanating from him. The world around them was on fire, <em>literally </em>on fire, blue cold flames meeting blazing hot ones, emitting searing heat and icy cold at once. Then, just like it had come, the vision was gone and Gellert was left panting on the blanket. Gasping for air at the intensity of the vision, his eyes sought Albus, who was still wandering around with his sister. He felt his limbs trembling.</p><p>
  <em>This is it. We’re going to make the world burn.</em>
</p><p>He was sure of it, and for the first time he was glad about the Sight he had not been given, but taken for himself, as it had let him here, to this place, and to him.</p><p>…</p><p>They left the hill later in the afternoon, Ariana still in good spirits and showing no signs of any kind of abnormality. The beautifying spell was slowly wearing off and her hair had become tangled, but not in the disturbing way it usually did, just like a child’s who had been playing all day. She insisted on taking Gellert’s hand and Albus raised an eyebrow at him as if to say: “Look, I told you.”</p><p>As much as he had liked taking her along, he regretted not having had more time with Albus alone. His heart was still pounding at the thought of how close they had been, even though Albus didn’t act any different from before, and just went on taking to Gellert in his quiet, easy way. Still, he knew they would all cherish the memory of this day, probably Ariana most of all.</p><p>He walked them home, but when they arrived at their door, they didn’t even have time to say goodbye before it flew open.</p><p>It was, of course, Aberforth, undisguised rage in his eyes.</p><p>“Are you all <em>insane</em>?”</p><p>“Aberforth...”, Albus started, but he didn’t get any further.</p><p>“You’ve taken her <em>outside</em>? Albus, is that you? Hogwarts’ new genius? How can you be so unbelievably <em>dumb</em>?”</p><p>Gellert felt how Ariana’s hand, which he was still holding, started to tremble. For the first time this day, he felt danger coming from her.</p><p>“Aberforth”, he said with a cool voice, “I don’t see how taking your two siblings outside on a lovely summer day is any dumber than locking them at home while you’re off to new adventures?”</p><p>Her trembling didn’t subside, even though he had tried to speak calm and behaved.</p><p>“Shhh, little one”, he hissed and gently pressed her hand.</p><p>Aberforth was suddenly close, dangerously close, and while he had always been irritable, this outright aggression was new to Gellert. However, he stood his ground, his left hand venturing to where his wand was hidden under his shirt.</p><p>“<em>You </em>keep out if this, pretty boy! You think you can just walk in and take everybody on a little outing while you have <em>no idea</em> what’s going on here, but of course, you’re all <em>so smart</em>, you..”</p><p>“Aberforth!”, Albus suddenly exclaimed and pulled him away from Gellert, who had by now drawn his wand and pointed it at him. “Don’t you see you’re making it worse?</p><p>Aberforth shot a look at Ariana, who was by now trembling all over, and his eyes softened.</p><p>“It’s alright, darling”, he said, going down on his knees and snatching her hand from Gellert’s grip. “Let’s take this inside”, he added with a glance at Albus.</p><p>Gellert knew his wasn’t invited, so he stayed behind when the three siblings disappeared into the house. Before he stepped through the door, however, Albus turned to him and whispered: “Thank you for today. I will come and see you tomorrow.”</p><p>There it was again, that unspoken promise between them, and when he walked home, he felt agitated and elevated at once, not sure what to make of the day in general. There was only one thing he knew, and it was that he needed to take this further, wherever it would lead. And actually he knew where it would lead: to a new world, burning in the fires of their making.</p><p>…</p><p>He was waiting for Albus during the whole next day, and he could tell he was driving Bathilda insane. She had by now started to teach him Apparation, something he had been very eager to learn, but she lost her patience when she realized he wasn’t paying any attention.</p><p>“Where’s you head, Gellert?”, she sighed at some point, waving her hand before his face in order to make him look at her.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m just… thinking about something.”</p><p>“Something or someone?”</p><p>With a deep sigh, Gellert dropped onto the couch. “How are you so good at reading my mind, Bathilda?”</p><p>She sat down next to him and patted his back. “It’s not very hard to read a sixteen year old boy. At your age, every kind of affection can turn fervent very quickly. So tell me… am I right to assume we’re talking about dear Albus here?”</p><p>Gellert wasn’t sure what she was saying, if she was aware of the nature of his affections as well. He decided to play along, but not reveal the physical part of his attraction, as he still wasn’t entirely sure how she would feel about it.</p><p>“Of course we are, who else? I’ve never met anyone like him before. You know, Bathilda… I’ve actually <em>seen </em>him. In a vision.”</p><p>Bathilda looked at him doubtfully. Ever since that day when he predicted Kendra’s death, she seemed to be worried, if not downright afraid of his ability to See. Her initial fascination at the ritual and the existence of the Pythia spell seemed to have given way to fear, and she barely mentioned it anymore.</p><p>“What have you seen, then?”, she asked tentatively.</p><p>“Well, nothing in particular”, Gellert lied. “That I would meet him. That we would become good friends.”</p><p>There was something in her eyes that told him she knew he was keeping something from her, but to his relief she didn’t press any further.</p><p>“He’s a great boy”, she said instead, as if to herself. “You know, he has that affect on most people. Like he’s challenging you to think beyond the limits of your own mind. He’s done so splendidly at Hogwarts, even though it has been hard for him, with his father and his family… no wonder a smart and talented boy like yourself feels so drawn to him.”</p><p>Now he wished that he had told her about the content of his vision. She made it sound like such a trivial thing, like something everybody just <em>had </em>to feel about Albus. Couldn’t she see that this was special?</p><p>“Do you know what happened to his father?”, he asked instead, hoping to distract her.</p><p>Bathilda sighed with sorrow. “He’s serving his sentence in Azkaban. I’ve never dared to ask Kendra about the truth of the rumor, but apparently he attacked some Muggle boys, which, of course, was against the Statute of Secrecy. So, according to some people, he was convicted.”</p><p>“Have you asked Albus about it?”</p><p>“You know, Gellert, I can’t stand gossip. If there is something Albus wants to tell me, he will always be free to do so. However, I have no right to meddle in his private business.”</p><p>Gellert didn’t know what to say, and he caught himself still waiting for the sound of the doorbell. However, he didn’t hear the sound for the whole afternoon and his mood hit rock bottom during dinner. He went to bed feeling slightly betrayed, and while he was trying to fall asleep he wondered if maybe he had only imagined this feeling between them, because he had been desperately waiting for it. Maybe for Albus he was just a casual acquaintance he had enjoyed spending a lazy afternoon with, but wasn’t feeling this ardent desire to get back together with him and to spend more time in his presence.</p><p>It had been hot during the day and Gellert wondered if this July heat would ever be interrupted by a thunderstorm. He had not thought Britain to be so hot. The sheets felt sweaty very soon and he cast a drying charm on them before he got back into bed and drifted off to sleep with the sounds of the crickets outside.</p><p>There was a sound, suddenly, and he wasn’t sure whether it was a dream, a vision, or actually reality. It made him realize he had been asleep already, but upon waking up, he wasn’t sure where he should place the noise, whether it was part of his waking or sleeping life. It was a soft tapping, not quite a knocking. He waited for a moment and then it was there again, clearly coming from the window. When he opened it, he saw a glove, hovering in the air, looking as if there was a hand in it.</p><p>His eyes drifted down towards the garden, since there had to be someone who had bewitched the glove. It was too dark to really see anything, but he heard a soft “shhh” from below.</p><p>“Lumos!” a voice called and he knew immediately whose voice it was. A small light lit up from under the tree and Gellert could see Albus’ happy face, glad that his idea of bewitching a glove to knock against his window had produced the desired results.</p><p>“Albus!”, Gellert called with a whispering voice. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Gellert”, Albus replied and his face showed he meant it. “I was going to come and see you all day, but… I had a bit of a confrontation with Aberforth and Ariana didn’t take it very well. Can you come down?”</p><p>Gellert thought for a moment, then he quickly got dressed, grabbed his wand and just jumped down, slowing down his fall magically and cushioning himself with a charm once he reached the floor. It was a combination that had come in handy in his nightly escapes at Durmstrang, where the distance from the window to the floor had been far greater.</p><p>“I’m sorry, it’s far too late. I’m keeping you from your sleep.”</p><p>“Never mind”, Gellert replied, smiling at him in the light of Albus’ wand. He was exhilarated by Albus’ unexpected presence, after fearing for a whole day that he had just forgotten about him.</p><p>“Do you… can we go for a walk?”, Albus asked reluctantly.</p><p>“Of course. But wait for a second-- there’s something I need to get first.” He wasn’t talking about his shoes, since he was quite accustomed to walking barefoot, having done it during most of his childhood. Without really thinking about it, he grabbed Albus’ arm, who flinched slightly at the contact, and pulled him around the corner to Bathilda’s kitchen window.</p><p>“How did you know which room was mine?”, he asked Albus after he had opened it and mumbled “<em>Accio</em> wine bottle!”</p><p>“I’ve spent a night in that room myself last year. During the holidays I came to visit Bathilda and we stayed up late discussing some matter I thought extremely important. Things were a little difficult back even then with my mother and Ariana… Bathilda could tell I was delaying going back home and probably took pity on me. She offered me to stay in the bedroom even though I live about two streets away.” He chuckled, then marveled at the bottle that had flew through the window into Gellert’s hands. “What’s that?”</p><p>“Chardonnay”, Gellert replied with a wink. “Summer nights are best spent with something to drink, don’t you agree?”</p><p>He could feel rather than see Albus blush next to him and felt his heartbeat accelerate. He could tell this was new territory to him, and at the same time he felt a pang of sadness that Albus had had so little fun in his life. There had been many summer nights at Durmstrang when he had tasted all kinds of different spirits from all parts of the world, most of them stronger. Wine was something quite foreign to him, but he had known that Bathilda was keeping some in her kitchen.</p><p>“French wine? Where does she get it from?”</p><p>“I think she has some friends there, wizards she holds correspondence with. They sometimes send her presents”, Gellert explained and lead the way through the dark garden into the empty streets.</p><p>“And you think she won’t mind? That you’re taking the wine?”</p><p>Gellert shrugged. “She might. But leave that to me.”</p><p>Albus still seemed hesitant, but decided to follow him. Gellert smiled when he felt how nervous he still was.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Albus”, he said, stopping to look at him. The moon was almost full and he could see his worried face clearly. “She won’t mind that much. There’s a lot more and it’s not healthy for her to drink it all by herself, anyway. We’re old enough for that, don’t you think?”</p><p>There was a slight smile on Albus’ face as he started walking again. “Well, as apparently I’m old enough to be the head of the family, I might as well enjoy what else adulthood has to offer.”</p><p>“Oh, definitely!” Gellert followed him along the street. “Where are we going?”</p><p>Albus shrugged. “I’m not sure. I thought we could just have a midnight walk through the village, but with that bottle of yours… we might have to find a more suitable spot.”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t believe his luck. This was even better than he had imagined-- going to some secluded place with a bottle of wine to share between them sounded much more exciting than another afternoon in Bathilda’s living room.</p><p>“What about we go back to the hill we went to yesterday?”, he asked. “Or are you afraid of the dark?”</p><p>“Isn’t that a bit far?” The doubt was back in Albus’ voice and Gellert knew he had to act.</p><p>“We’re wizards, are we not?”, he said, taking Albus’ arm and leading him the same way they had walked the day before. “What is there to be scared of?”</p><p>“I’m not <em>scared, </em>just…”</p><p>“What then?” Gellert didn’t let go of his arm. The moon shone on Albus’ face and showed a mixture between excitement and worry. He felt him tremble sightly at his touch and Gellert couldn’t help it-- he was excited, too. This wasn’t just stealing away to commit some mischief like in his Durmstrang days, this was time he would spend with <em>Albus, </em>finally.</p><p>“Oh well… nothing. Let’s go.”</p><p>Gellert’s heart leaped at Albus’ decision and he let go of his arm reluctantly. They started walking along the empty streets, the only sounds a barking dog far away and the chirping of crickets. He wondered why everyone was inside and nobody was enjoying the mild summer night, and at the same time why he himself had never had that idea before.</p><p>“So… did you and Aberforth settle your differences?”</p><p>Albus snorted with anger that seemed to be still fresh.</p><p>“He thinks I’m not taking care of Ariana enough. She was all worked up after we came home yesterday, probably because your fight scared her. But he wouldn’t understand that she had been perfectly calm and happy on our trip and that <em>he </em>was the one responsible for her agitation.”</p><p>“It wasn’t even a fight”, Gellert added impatiently.</p><p>“Anything can trigger her, really. Actually it’s true what Aberforth said-- it was madness to take her out yesterday. We were lucky that it went so well. It doesn’t have to be much, sometime she senses something and…”</p><p>“And?” Gellert was really curious at that point about what actually <em>happened </em>when Ariana lost control. Everybody seemed to go on about how there was something wrong with her, but he still had no idea what she would do.</p><p>Albus hesitated next to him, his face only partially illuminated by the moon and the light from their wands that they had both lit.</p><p>“Aberforth doesn’t want us to talk about it with… others. Besides, we don’t really know what happens ourselves. Anyway, let’s talk about something else for once. What about yourself? We’re always talking about me and my family.”</p><p>Gellert realized that was true, they had never really discussed anything concerning himself, apart from Albus’ curious questions about Durmstrang on their first day at Bathilda’s place.</p><p>“So, what do you want to know?”</p><p>“Everything!”, Albus exclaimed with a laugh. “We’ve met a couple of days ago, and even though I feel like I’ve known you for ages, I just realized I know nothing about you, in fact!”</p><p>Gellert felt this might be some diversionary tactic to keep him from further questions about Albus and his family. Still, he felt flattered that Albus wanted to know more about him. At the same time, though, a kind of uneasiness befell him when he thought about his past and what he had done up to this point. He thought about his visions and what he had seen-- which parts should he tell Albus?</p><p>“Let’s start with something very basic”, Albus interrupted his thoughts. “How come you’re staying with Bathilda this summer? This must be your first visit here, right? I’ve never seen you in the village before. Why haven’t you visited her yet?”</p><p>“I… well, it’s a long story. The opportunity just didn’t present itself before.”</p><p>“I see”, Albus answered slowly. “Is she your great-aunt from your father or your mother’s side?”</p><p>“My mother’s. But really, what a boring question, Albus!” He laughed out loudly. “Can’t you think of anything else?”</p><p>He realized, suddenly, where his uneasiness stemmed from: He was afraid that, despite everything, despite this overwhelming connection he imagined to feel between them, Albus simply wouldn’t like him. Here he was, Hogwarts’ genius, and him, the fallen angel of Durmstrang who had a habit of messing everything up. Maybe Albus would decide that he was simply not his kind of person. And what then?</p><p>“What am I to do?”, Albus complained with a smile. “I have to worm everything out of you!”</p><p>“I think you have to come to terms with the fact that I’m a very boring person.”</p><p>“I don’t believe that for one second!”, Albus replied, laughing.</p><p>They had by now reached the spot where they had held their picnic the day before. Albus conjured a blanket again, and Gellert wondered if it was by design that this time it was considerably smaller. When they had sat down, Gellert did what he had looked forward to the most: he opened the bottle with his wand and took a large sip.</p><p>“This is great. Here--”, he held out the bottle to Albus who took it and cautiously tried some of the strong white wine.</p><p>“Hm… do you think it’s good?”</p><p>Gellert chuckled. “It must be. I’m not exactly an expert either. It serves the purpose.”</p><p>“So what is <em>the purpose, </em>according to you?”</p><p>“To get us both… tipsy.”</p><p>Albus let out a loud laugh. “Tipsy?”</p><p>“To loosen your tongue… and mine as well. So you won’t have to <em>worm everything out of me.”</em></p><p>“Sounds promising”, Albus replied, taking another, this time bigger sip. He already seemed to be in high spirits, probably drunk on the boldness of the night and their little adventure together. Gellert, in the meantime, noticed again how his visions slightly subsided when he was with Albus. Maybe it was because he was so focused on the other person, so in tune with him.</p><p>“So”, Gellert said after he had taken the bottle back from him, “you don’t want to talk about your family. Let’s talk about something else, then. What about girls? Did you like someone back at Hogwarts?”</p><p>He felt Albus tense slightly next to him, showing that he wasn’t much more comfortable with this topic than the one before.</p><p>“I… well… no, not really. I was otherwise occupied.”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t help but smile. “And what were you so occupied with?”</p><p>“Studying. Looking after my brother. Being with my friends.”</p><p>“The most boring part comes first, the most pleasant last.”</p><p>“Probably I’m the boring one of the two of us.”</p><p>Gellert smiled, eyeing him while he brought the bottle to his lips again. “I don’t believe that either. After all, you’re sitting here with me, who was expelled from his school, drinking a stolen bottle of wine.”</p><p>“You were a pretty good student yourself, were you not?”, Albus asked, snatching the bottle back from him.</p><p>“I was”, Gellert said with a shrug. “Only not the most compliant one.”</p><p>“And what about… what you said earlier? Was there someone you… liked? Back at Durmstrang?”</p><p>Gellert could hear from Albus’ voice that his face was probably bright red, even though the moonlight didn’t show it. He couldn’t help but smile to himself while his heart started beating slightly faster. Of course, it was the wine he had to thank for this conversation they were having. Otherwise they would still be talking about spells and books.</p><p>“There was someone I liked, but I think… that person didn’t like me back. At least not in <em>that </em>way. However, there was someone else I got close with.</p><p>“Close?”, Albus replied immediately and Gellert knew it was still the wine talking. What a brilliant idea that had been.</p><p>“Well, you know what I mean by close, right?”</p><p>Despite the dim light, he could see Albus’ eyes widen. “You mean, you were… intimate with someone?”</p><p>Gellert was smiling broadly by that point. “You have the most beautiful way of putting it into words, Albus.”</p><p>Albus went silent next to him and Gellert wondered if it had been such a good idea to be honest. It was clearly making him uncomfortable, and while he had wanted to tease him a little bit, that had not been his goal.</p><p>Whatever he had expected him to say, it wasn’t what he actually said next. “Of course. You’re so handsome, obviously you have a lot of experience.”</p><p>Gellert didn’t quite know how to react to this. He was aware that his looks were what drew people to him the most and he had experienced their effect many times-- girls giggling when he turned the corner, looks that told him more than words ever could, anonymous love letters telling him he was a <em>handsome prince, </em> the most beautiful boy they had ever seen. But from Albus’ mouth it sounded different, <em>truer. </em></p><p>“You’re not so bad yourself”, he said with a slight shove against Albus’ side.</p><p>“You’re not serious, are you?”, Albus chuckled, taking little sips from the bottle. “I’m ordinary. Nice looking, maybe. Whereas you’re…”</p><p>“Don’t exaggerate”, Gellert interrupted him, feeling as if he would burst if Albus’ said anything else of the sort. Why didn’t he see how he owned a beauty coming from the inside, how his radiance could captivate a person? He wanted to tell him so badly, worship him in every way he could. The alcohol was getting to his head as and made his feelings seem even stronger, this deep yearning he had felt from the first day they had met, and even before.</p><p>“No, really. You’re the type people feel drawn to.”</p><p>There was a shift in the atmosphere and a silence between them for a moment as the bottle passed back and forth. Gellert was by now quite fed up with the taste of it, but he enjoyed the feeling it gave him. Besides, he could tell it was affecting Albus as well, and quite in the way that he had hoped.</p><p>“So”, he said after a while. “You seem to be a great judge of character. Tell me, do <em>you </em>feel drawn to me?”</p><p>It was the wine that made him bold enough to ask this, but he simply couldn’t <em>take </em>it anymore, this almost tangible tension between them, creating a tingly feeling on his skin. He could tell that he had caught Albus off guard and heard him open and close his mouth several times. Gellert turned to him and moved to take his chin to turn his head into his direction, forcing him to look at him.</p><p>“I will tell you something, Albus. <em>I </em>feel drawn to <em>you</em>, in any case. I’ve felt like that from the day we’ve first met. There is something about you.. you’re a genius, you’re intelligent… just imagine our forces combined. I think we could be great, you and I, <em>together.”</em></p><p>Albus’ eyes widened in surprise and Gellert could tell he was at loss for words. His eyes, however, gave him all the answers he needed. There was no revulsion in them, maybe some fear, but mostly, and now he was absolutely sure he wasn’t imagining it, desire.</p><p>It was a small step now, after having built up the situation to lead to this very point, and it felt almost natural to finally close the distance between them and touch Albus’ lips with his own. A sigh escaped him as he finally felt it for real, so much better than in his visions. Albus shivered, but didn’t pull back. His lips felt warm and soft, the taste of Chardonnay still fresh on them. It was too good to stop, so Gellert stayed, closing his eyes, letting his lips linger and caress their counterpart.</p><p>Finally, he did interrupt the kiss, retreating slightly to look at Albus’ face. There wasn’t a lot he could see in the moonshine, but there could be no mistaking the enraptured expression on it, eyes opening slowly, a slight hint of doubt showing in them.</p><p>“Albus, I…”</p><p>“Don’t stop”, Albus whispered quickly and Gellert obliged willingly, capturing his lips again, this time more ardently, eliciting a quiet moan from Albus. The sound triggered a sudden urge to devour him whole, this beautiful, beautiful boy. His one free hand that wasn’t grasping the bottle went to the back of Albus’ head and pressed him closer, as close as possible.</p><p>It was a kiss like he had never felt before; not the frantic plundering of each other mouths that he had experienced with Ognyan. This was something that went to his deepest core, telling him this was the person he was <em>meant </em>to kiss. There was a deep yearning somewhere inside of his stomach that told him to go on, go <em>deeper, </em>and he couldn’t help but lick Albus’ lips tenderly, asking to be let in.</p><p>And Albus answered.</p><p>With a quick gasp for air he parted from him, but then pressed their lips together again and opened his to let in Gellert’s probing tongue, tensing under his touch and then relaxing again, as if he couldn’t decide what was right. He tasted sweet, of wine mostly, and <em>so inviting. </em>Gellert moved even closer and pressed himself against whatever he could reach of Albus’ body, not wanting to break apart ever again.</p><p>He had to, eventually. They were both panting for air, their foreheads pressed together. Gellert’s hand was still in Albus’ hair, stroking it gently. It felt soft and silky under his touch.</p><p>“What just happened?”, Albus asked quietly when he had caught his breath.</p><p>“We kissed”, Gellert said with a smile. He was in heaven. Albus’ taste lingered on his tongue, as well as the memory how soft and tender his lips had been.</p><p>Then, with a start, he realized something. “Oh Albus. This was your first time, wasn’t it.”</p><p>He didn’t need to wait for the answer, but it came in form of a timid nod. Albus seemed to blush again, even though Gellert couldn’t see any of it.</p><p>“Ever since I saw you I wanted to do that”, Albus admitted and Gellerts heart leaped at the thought. “Don’t you think it’s strange? We’re both boys after all.”</p><p>“So what”, Gellert replied coolly. He had never really thought about it that way. For him, desire and affection were human emotions that deserved to be satisfied. How and with whom-- what did that really matter? But Albus, of course, was used to sticking by the rules, he remembered.</p><p>“I like you and I, too, wanted to kiss you like that from the first day”, he said defiantly.</p><p>Albus smiled softly and he moved to kiss him again. This time, his lips parted readily and he seemed to melt against Gellert, who wrapped his arms around him and felt his warm skin through the thin shirt he was wearing.</p><p>When they parted again, they didn’t really know what to say. Gellert was stroking Albus’ cheek, letting his lips follow his fingers to kiss his nose, his eyes, his forehead, every spot on his face that he could reach. There was so much to do and he wanted to finally catch up, make up all the time he had lost. Albus’ breath went fast, excited.</p><p>“I think we have to go”, he said after a while.</p><p>“No, we don’t”, Gellert whispered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They stayed like this for a long time, the moon rising higher and higher. Gellert figured it must be long past midnight, but he didn’t feel the urge to go back to his bed and his uneasy dreams. Albus, despite his words, showed no intention of leaving either. Instead, he snuggled against Gellert, who laid his arm around him and gave him small kisses every once in a while. Now that he had tasted his lips, he couldn’t quite get enough of them.</p><p>“I thought I was the only one feeling like this”, Albus said after a a while. “When I saw you at the funeral, I… I couldn’t take my eyes off you. It was my <em>mother’s funeral </em>and all I could think about was you. I felt so guilty, but at the same time… I thought I was going crazy.”</p><p>“Don’t let others tell you what you should and should not feel”, Gellert replied. “When I saw you, I knew we were meant to be together, in whatever way you would permit. Like I said yesterday-- mourning your mother doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy happiness at the same time.”</p><p>“You make it sound so easy”, Albus sighed. “Growing up is hard, don’t you think? Everybody is expecting something from you. It’s so difficult to please everyone. I thought I would go away and see the world, be on my own, finally, without anyone looking after me. Instead, I ended up being the one having to look after the others. Oh well, I must be boring you with the constant lamentations over my fate.”</p><p>“Not at all. I wish I could do something to help.”</p><p>“Oh, you already did a lot to help.”</p><p>Albus looked ethereal under the moonlight, like a ghost or an angel or both. There was a sadness about him always when he talked about the plans he had made, and how they had been prevented by fate itself. Gellert pressed him closer and kissed the top of his head.</p><p>“To be honest, I can’t be all too sad about it. Just imagine you’d be somewhere in South Italy by now, and I here, alone and by myself.”</p><p>Albus chuckled against his chest. “It all worked out well for you, didn’t it.”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t say if he was joking or being cynical, so he didn’t reply and just sat there in silence. He didn’t want to think all too much about everything and just enjoy the moment, but everything was strange indeed. The visions he had had and how they had shown him the way, all the things that had happened to Albus’ mother and his family so they could be together at precisely this moment, in precisely this place. He had never really believed in fate or divine interference, but there was something about this, about <em>them, </em>that made him almost reconsider.</p><p>“Anyway”, Albus sighed after a while, “I should really be getting back. I promised to Aberforth that I would be home tomorrow.”</p><p>“You were at home today. Will he only allow you to go out at night?”</p><p>“I just want to show him I’m serious. That I’m going to take care of Ariana and be there for the family.”</p><p>“But why? Why do you need to prove anything to him?”</p><p>“Because otherwise he won’t go back to Hogwarts!” Albus had almost shouted the last phrase. He sat up, agitated. “He clearly doesn’t trust me with her, so he keeps telling me he won’t leave her alone with me. I really need to make this work! I won’t forgive myself if my brother doesn’t finish his education because of me.”</p><p>“Hush”, Gellert said and stroked his shoulder to calm him down. The matter was clearly bothering him a lot. “I was only wondering. No need to justify.”</p><p>He’d hoped this would pacify him a little, but Albus only shook his head. “I didn’t ask for any of this, you know. I didn’t want all of this responsibility. It feels so strange that all these people suddenly depend on me.”</p><p>Something seemed to occur to him and he looked at Gellert in the near darkness. “Do you have any siblings?”</p><p>“No”, Gellert replied instinctively, as he had for years, when he realized it wasn’t exactly true. Somehow with Albus, he felt the need to tell the absolute truth, not just the subjective one.</p><p>“Well, I do”, he corrected himself. “But… only half-siblings. They’re Muggles. We’ve never lived together, though.”</p><p>“How come?”</p><p>A strange feeling gripped Gellert upon hearing Albus’ innocent question, almost like some sort of panic. He had never told anyone any of it, not even his friends at Durmstrang. When someone had asked him, he had pretended to be an only child. Plus he had been good at avoiding questions by asking counter questions. Most people, he had noticed, liked to talk about themselves the best.</p><p>“Long story”, he said only and hoped that would close the topic. It did, apparently, as Albus didn’t ask anything else. The atmosphere, however, had gone somber.</p><p>“Well then, let’s get back”, Gellert said finally and got up, extending his hand to help Albus to his feet.</p><p>“I hope we can do this again some time”, Albus said when he had stumbled to his feet with Gellert’s help.</p><p>“I hope so, too. Still, it would be nice to come here during the day next time. I need my beauty sleep, you know.”</p><p>“<em>You </em>don’t know any beauty sleep, believe me.”</p><p>“How do you know what I look like without it?”</p><p>Albus laughed and took his hand casually when they started walking down the road toward the village. Gellert was glad they were back to their carefree banter from earlier. It felt good to hold Albus’ hand as if they really belonged together, as if there were a pair, two parts of a whole. At the same time he was aware that this would never happen during daytime.</p><p>When they entered the village, Albus pulled him into a side street just before they reached the corner where Bathilda’s house was located on the right.</p><p>“Where are we going now?”, Gellert asked, confused.</p><p>“There’s something I’ve been wanting to show you”, Albus said without explaining any further. Gellert enjoyed him taking the lead and let himself be pulled towards the towering entrance of-- the graveyard.</p><p>He had only been there once, at Kendra’s funeral, and certainly not by night. It was a creepy sight, but thrilling at the same time. Ghost were wandering around aimlessly, some of them looking like normal people in costumes from another age, others strangely disfigured by some gruesome death. Gellert had seen ghosts before at Durmstrang, but most of them had been friendly, mischievous at most. Here, there seemed to be a accumulation of poor souls-- a young wizard with his head in one hand, an old witch wailing for her children, a woman with limbs bent in all kind of places.</p><p>“Catherine of Mercia”, Albus explained sadly when he saw her. “She was broken on the wheel for being a witch. She wasn’t one, of course, otherwise she wouldn’t have died like this.”</p><p>“How come she’s a ghost, then?”</p><p>“Oh, Muggles can become ghosts, too. Maybe after their death, they’re granted a little bit of magic. Here we are.”</p><p>They came to stand in front of a large grave. It was old and overgrown with leaves; the stone was worn away in some places so it was hard to decipher anything, especially in the dark. Albus took out his wand and muttered: “Lumos maxima”, whereupon a ball of light appeared at the tip of his wand, illuminating the stone.</p><p>“Look”, he whispered, bowing over the grave, and pointed at an engraving that was hardly visible despite the spell. Gellert, however, recognized it immediately.</p><p>“The symbol! It’s the symbol of the Deathly Hallows…” He then remembered the conversation they had had three days ago and suddenly it dawned upon him why Albus had taken him here.</p><p>“It’s the grave of Ignotus Peverell!”</p><p>“Yes”, Albus replied excitedly. “He’s buried here. Why else would the symbol of the Hallows be engraved here, if not to show they <em>do </em>exist and that he was indeed one of the brothers?”</p><p>Gellert thought about this for a while. There could be a million other reasons why the symbol was engraved here, but he didn’t want to dampen Albus’ enthusiasm. All he knew was that the symbol had been what had brought him here to <em>him, </em>and that was reason enough for him to believe <em>anything.</em></p><p>“Well, if the Hallows do exist, they must be somewhere. The wand’s owners have been recorded for a long time, until it suddenly vanishes from the records. That doesn’t mean it can’t be found.”</p><p>“That’s what I’ve been thinking!”, Albus exclaimed. “Maybe there are traces of the others, too. I’ve found some clues about them and where to start looking… if only I could’ve gone on that journey! But maybe we can still do it, you know.”</p><p>Gellert shivered pleasantly. He knew the feeling overwhelming him at the moment; he had felt it before and he realized again how addicted he was to it: the promise of power. It reminded him of the clandestine meetings at night at Durmstrang, only this time, he was here with his true soulmate, his equal, his soon-to-be lover. Someone who could truly match him in intelligence, skillfulness and audacity.</p><p>“We <em>can. </em>If there is anything I’ve learned, it’s that rumors about lost spells and object always have some truth about them.” He was thinking, of course, of the Pythia spell. “Some spend years looking for something, and other find it just by accident, only because they’re <em>meant </em>to find it.”</p><p>He pressed Albus’ hand, overwhelmed with excitement. Albus extinguished the light and they stood for a moment in the darkness.</p><p>“Do you really think we could?”, Albus asked, his voice slightly broken. “Find the Hallows? Use them to… whatever we want to do with them?”</p><p>Gellert smirked to himself. It wasn’t surprising that Albus, who had always been limited in some way, was afraid to use his imagination. “Don’t tell me you don’t have an idea what to do with them? If you were to be the <em>Master of Death, </em>dear Albus… what would you do?”</p><p>Albus looked at him, his face insufficiently illuminated to tell what he was thinking.</p><p>“I could… bring back my mother. She could look after Ariana and I… could finally leave. This time with you, maybe.” Hesitantly, he added: “If you’d want to, that is.”</p><p>Gellert smiled and took Albus’ face into his hands. It had been far too long since they had last kissed. “There is nothing I would want more, Albus”, he said and closed the distance between them. Albus sighed into the kiss, his lips warm and full of promises. Their bodies fit so well together, Gellert realized when he pressed them together, in every place, even here, in a graveyard.</p><p>They parted slowly, a smile passing between them.</p><p>“I could kiss you all night”, Albus whispered, then stifled a yawn. “But I’m afraid I need some sleep now.”</p><p>Gellert walked him home, feeling elated, his own need for sleep suddenly gone. There was an idea in his head giving him life, arousing him in an almost physical sense. He wanted nothing more than to stay with Albus, touch him all night and talk about what they could do-- w<em>ould </em>do once they found the Hallows. However, he kissed him goodbye at their front door, deep and sweet, and made him promise they would see each other again soon. This elicited a radiant smile from Albus.</p><p>“Soon, I promise. Tomorrow, if I can make it.”</p><p>He pulled himself away from Gellert and then, before stepping through the door, said: “Thanks for the wine.”</p><p>Then he vanished and left Gellert in the dark, who almost ran home to Bathilda’s place. He felt finally exhausted when he fell down onto his bed and waited for the visions to arrive like they usually did before he fell asleep. Tonight, however, his head felt strangely clear, like it hadn’t since the night when he had opened his Inner Eye.</p><p>All he could see was Albus’ face under the moonlight.</p><p>…</p><p>He woke up late the next morning and earned a reproaching look from Bathilda when he entered the kitchen. She couldn’t keep up her scowl, though, when she saw the broad smile on his face.</p><p>“You seem to have had a really good night’s sleep, Gellert. You went to bed early and now you wake up almost at noon, smiling like an imbecile. If only my bottle of Chardonnay had the same deep sleep as you-- it seems to have felt the urge to go out exploring last night while you were snoring in your bed.”</p><p>“How curious. Though as a witch, you shouldn’t be surprised at your wine bottles wandering around at night.”</p><p>“Oh, wipe that smirk off your face, boy!” Bathilda suddenly seemed angry again. “I don’t mind you taking a bottle of wine or two, but the <em>Chardonnay</em>? I got it from my good friend Adélard for the publication of my latest book! I’ve been saving it for a special occasion ever since…”</p><p>“Believe me, the occasion was a special one”, Gellert interrupted her and try as he might, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling when he remembered the kiss he had shared with Albus, the many kisses, in fact, and their imagined future together. The magic of the night seemed to linger even in the bright sunlight.</p><p>Bathilda sighed when she realized her scolding him wouldn’t go anywhere.</p><p>“At least tell me you didn’t drink it all by yourself.”</p><p>“Of course not. I wouldn’t take your precious bottle to get drunk alone in my room.”</p><p>“I see. It’s only been a few days since you’ve met, and already you make Albus deviate from the right path.”</p><p>Gellert had to laugh at this, as he could tell Bathilda wasn’t quite serious herself.</p><p>“By drinking wine with him? Come on, Bathilda, your vision of sin is quite disappointing.”</p><p>She smiled despite herself. “Merlin knows that poor boy deserves a bit of fun.”</p><p>“I see where your affections lie”, Gellert said, mocking her, “when I take your bottle, you’re mad at me; for Albus, it’s alright to have some fun.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure you had plenty of fun as well”, Bathilda replied and Gellert thought he saw something in her eyes, just for a second, that made him suspect she <em>knew, </em>somehow. But how could she?</p><p><em>She knows about Ognyan, after all, </em>he reminded himself.</p><p>“Anyway, go and have your breakfast so I can clear it up afterwards”, Bathilda interrupted his thoughts.</p><p>Gellert wanted nothing more than to see Albus again as soon as possible. He didn’t really know what to do, though, since they hadn’t arranged a next meeting. Somehow he didn’t feel comfortable just going over to his place again, knowing that there were some tensions in the Dumbledore household that he wasn’t entirely irresponsible for.</p><p>So just after breakfast, he wrote a note to Albus, telling him to come over once he was free, and borrowed Bathilda’s owl Philomena to deliver it. He always felt strange about owls, ever since he had drunken one’s blood, and imagined a menacing glance from the animal when he attached the little piece of paper to its claw.</p><p><em>You’re imagining things, </em> he told himself. <em>There’s no use in feeling guilty, what is done is done.</em></p><p>Right after lunch, Philomena was back with a new note.</p><p><em>Dear Gellert, </em> it read. <em>Thank you for the lovely evening and your message. Unfortunately, family matters are keeping me busy, so I’m afraid I won’t be free for a meeting today and possibly neither tomorrow. I will let you know as soon as I’ll have some time on my hands. Yours, Albus.</em></p><p>Disappointed, Gellert scrunched up the piece of paper and threw it into the corner. It could be perfectly possible that Albus was indeed kept with looking after Ariana, but he couldn’t shake the feeling he was using it as a pretense. Had he been wrong, after all? He had expected Albus to be equally excited about their night together and as eager to get back together as soon as possible. Now, it suddenly seemed like he wanted to avoid him. He remembered the last kiss they had shared; there had been nothing wrong, just the same affection and desire as before. Albus had promised him to meet soon. <em>Tomorrow, if I can make it. </em>Suddenly, he sounded as if they merely had been out for a drink together.</p><p>Now, he was the one wearing a scowl.</p><p>“It might be normal with teenage boys”, Bathilda said when they met in the afternoon to continue with their Apparition practice. “But I find it hard to handle your mood swings, Gellert. This morning you were grinning as if you’d had a whole mug of Felix Felicis, now you look like you just had a visit by a dementor."</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“So what’s wrong? I’m not starting before you tell me, because I know from experience we won’t get any work done as long as you are like this.”</p><p>Gellert sighed and dropped his wand that he had brought into position.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it, Bathilda.”</p><p>“As long as you’re under my roof, I want us to be honest. I sacrificed a bottle of Chardonnay for your happiness, so I can’t have you wearing that scowl for the rest of the day.”</p><p>“Alright, alright. Albus… it seems he doesn’t want to see me.”</p><p>“Why? What have you done?”</p><p>“Merlin!”, Gellert exclaimed, rolling his eyes. “Why do you immediately think <em>I </em>have done something? We had a perfectly nice evening together, and <em>yes, </em>we enjoyed your Chardonnay, and today he writes me this note that he doesn’t have time and probably won’t have for the next few days or something.”</p><p>He had not planned to let her in on this, but as she had kept pressing him to reveal his problem, he had seen no other choice. He could have lied, of course, but then again he might as well ask her for her opinion.</p><p>To his chagrin, she didn’t really reply the way he had wanted her to.</p><p>“Well, if that is his wish, I’m afraid you’ll have to accept that.”</p><p>“But why?”, Gellert asked, almost desperate. “Have I done something wrong? We parted on perfectly good terms…”</p><p>“I can’t tell you if you’ve done something wrong unless you tell me <em>what </em>you have done.”</p><p>Gellert went silent. He couldn’t possibly let her in on <em>this. </em>Bathilda was watching him closely, he could tell, and maybe she read more from his silence than she should.</p><p>“Maybe you’re taking it all a little too fast”, she said finally. “Don’t forget he just lost his mother and has to look after his sister…”</p><p>“So all of you keep telling me. Don’t worry, he makes sure to repeat it regularly in case I forget.”</p><p>“There you have it, then! He has his own worries, his own responsibilities. He’s not only here for your amusement.”</p><p>He stared at her, suddenly angry. She wasn’t supposed to react that way, she was suppose to comfort him, to tell him everything would be alright and that Albus surely returned his affections.</p><p>“You act as if I’m such a bad person for wanting to spend some time with him! You wanted us to meet yourself! And suddenly I’m supposed to keep away from him?”</p><p>“Calm down, Gellert, I didn’t say that. I only suggested that you put yourself in his position. Maybe he needs some time to come to terms with everything that has happened. He likes you, I’m sure of that. Maybe… he’s just scared about how much.”</p><p>They both went silent and Gellert repeated her words in his head.</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>Bathilda patted his arm slightly. “I’ve known Albus since he was a boy, since his family moved here many years ago. He isn’t as easy and outgoing as you. His mother has always kept to herself, his sister is...probably mentally ill, his brother is… a good lad, but still a bit of a rogue. Albus turned out a very likable person, but I guess it can all get a bit much for him sometimes. He’s the type who has few friends, but very close ones, and it takes time to really get close to him.”</p><p>“Well, it didn’t take him long to get close to <em>me.</em>” Only after he had said it, Gellert realized that his statement might have carried more information about their relationship than he’d wanted. Bathilda didn’t seem to notice, however.</p><p>“You see? Maybe you’ve been moving at <em>your </em>pace. Give him some time and space and I’m sure he will seek your company again.”</p><p>“If only you’re right”, Gellert sighed and suddenly Bathilda burst out laughing.</p><p>“You should see yourself! You’re looking like a lovesick puppy. Now come on, let’s practice. You’re several days behind already!”</p><p>She was right and Gellert was painfully aware that he had missed a lot because his thoughts had been constantly occupied with Albus. Determined to make up for what he had lost due to his infatuation, he worked all the harder now, and, with a lot of effort and concentration, managed to Apparate from one end of the living room to another by the end of the afternoon.</p><p>Bathilda was impressed. “I’ve never seen anyone get it so fast!”, she said with a big smile when he had appeared next to the fireplace. “Most people try for weeks and even months until they manage that distance.”</p><p>“It’s not that hard”, Gellert replied with a shrug. He was almost disappointed how easy it had been, as he had always thought Apparition to be a real challenge he had yet to master. Apart from having been really hardworking at school, he had always had a kind of intuition about spells, how to just say them right, use the proper angle to flick his wand and the right intensity of the words. He had never understood how other students struggled with the simplest spells, managed to over-pronounce syllables or wave their wands around like lunatics.</p><p>“Well done, Gellert”, Bathilda said, still with awe in her voice. “If we go on like this, y<em>ou’</em><em>ll</em> be teaching <em>me </em>soon.”</p><p>She left him afterwards to go back to working on her book, and Gellert found his thoughts immediately wandered back to Albus. Still, he had decided to follow Bathilda’s advice and find some distraction. He Apparated outside of the front door just for the sake of it and, upon finding himself still in one piece, went for a walk down the road. It was still hot outside, the sun beating down mercilessly on the dry ground. It had not rained since Kendra’s funeral. However, there seemed to be no humidity in the air and thus no hope for rain or a thunderstorm in the near future.</p><p>When he turned a corner, he suddenly noticed a familiar face, which, despite not being an entirely welcome sight, still made his heart beat slightly faster.</p><p>“Aberforth!”, he called out before the younger boy could pretend not to see him and vanish.</p><p>“Oh, hello, Gellert.” There was no joy at the recognition in his voice, but nothing of the old aversion either. He slowed down and walked over to Gellert.</p><p>“Everything alright?”, Gellert asked casually, even though there was only one thing he was interested in. Aberforth surely knew this, and Gellert wondered if it was out of spite that he avoided answering the unspoken question.</p><p>“As far as it can be. How about you?”</p><p>Gellert shrugged. “It’s hot and I’m bored.”</p><p>Aberforth gave a laugh. “Tell me about it. It’s too hot for the things you actually want to do. Well, honestly, it’s too hot for pretty much everything.”</p><p>Gellert wondered how long they could make small talk like this.</p><p>“So what are you up to?”</p><p>“I’m going to help Old Emeric with his goats.”</p><p>Gellert raised his eyebrow. “Goats?”</p><p>“Yes, goats”, Aberforth replied defiantly. “Anything wrong with goats?”</p><p>“Nothing wrong at all. But nothing particularly interesting about them, either.”</p><p>“They’re sweet, uncomplicated. Far more intelligent than many humans. When I’m older, I’d like to get some myself.”</p><p>Gellert shifted from one leg to the other. He was getting bored with the conversation and decided to get to the point. “So Albus is looking after Ariana today?”</p><p>“Yes, he volunteered”, Aberforth replied casually, as if he didn’t know Gellert had meant to ask about his brother all along. “It was supposed to be my turn, but he said he didn’t have anything to do in particular, so I could leave if I wanted. It suited me fine, since I promised Emeric to come over one of these days.”</p><p>Gellert felt his insides clench Aberforths words and had to force a smile onto his face. “Alright”, he managed to get out. “I won’t keep you any longer, then.”</p><p>“No problem”, Aberforth replied and gave him a supposedly friendly pat on his back. “See you around, Gellert.”</p><p>He almost skipped around the corner and Gellert was sure he was grinning from ear to ear. Inside, Gellert was screaming. So he had been right after all-- there were no “family matters” keeping Albus from seeing him. Suddenly his resolve to leave him alone until he came to see him crumbled. He just needed to know why he was avoiding him. Abruptly, he started walking into the direction of Albus’ home, determined to go and see for himself.</p><p>He reached the Dumbledore’s door in a few minutes and started banging on it with his fist, calling out Albus’ name. After a moment, the door opened and his face appeared, just like it had been in Gellert’s dreams all night. He was wearing a deep frown.</p><p>“Gellert”, he almost whispered, but didn’t show the happiness that Gellert had secretly hoped for. “I’m sorry, I…”</p><p>“Don’t bother. I just met Aberforth and he told me how glad he was you relieved him of his duties this afternoon.”</p><p>Albus sighed. “I just thought it would be good to stay with Ariana for a while. She had a rough night, apparently.”</p><p>“Liar. You’re avoiding me.”</p><p>Gellert wished he could’ve kept the bitterness out of his voice, but he just felt so disappointed. He had thought the night would have changed something for the better between them, not the worse. He expected Albus to go on finding excuses, to explain how he wanted to be a good brother for Ariana, to be responsible, to show Aberforth he could rely on him. However, he just stepped aside to make way and said: “Come in.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gellert followed his invitation into the gloomy house once more, and again he was surprised how it seemed so cold despite the summer heat outside.</p><p>“Where is Ariana?”, he asked immediately.</p><p>“She’s sleeping. Please keep quiet. Let’s go to my room.”</p><p>Albus led the way upstairs on small wooden staircase. When they reached the second floor, he pointed to a closed door and whispered: “This is her room”, then, pointing to another: “And this is mine.”</p><p>Albus’ room looked much friendlier than the rest of the house. Unlike the area downstairs, it was definitely the room of a wizard; apart from the many moving pictures and paintings on the wall, there was a bookcase crammed with all kinds of books, some of them with brilliant, moving covers, others moving slightly themselves and even making sounds. The desk was overflowing with half-scribbled sheets of paper, spilled ink everywhere, a quill that had most certainly just been used and thrown down in hurry. On a small table in the corner, various magical instruments were swirling and swinging around.</p><p>Albus took out his wand and muttered: “<em>Muffliato”, </em>then <em>“Colloportus</em>”; looking the door and making it soundproof. When he spoke, he used his normal voice again.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Gellert. To be honest, I feel… a little bit confused by yesterday. I just needed some time to…”, he stopped there, obviously looking for the right word.</p><p>“To what?”, Gellert interrupted him impatiently, sitting down on the chair next to the desk. “Didn’t you like it?”</p><p>“I… I can’t say I didn’t, although…”</p><p>“Then don’t.”</p><p>“Alright”, Albus admitted, “I did.” The whole time, he wasn’t looking at Gellert, instead he had fixed his brilliant blue eyes onto of the moving instruments on his table. His hands were nervously clutching the chair on which Gellert was sitting. “Only I… I don’t feel so confident about the whole thing anymore. Yesterday I was emboldened by the wine and that feeling of… well, I guess I was feeling a bit reckless.”</p><p>Gellert raised his head, trying to catch his eyes. “And today you woke up and thought: what was I doing kissing a boy. Is that it?”</p><p>Albus met his gaze quickly, but his eyes snapped away after a few seconds.</p><p>“Well… I guess you could say so.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me what I c<em>ould </em>say”, Gellert replied steadily, even though he felt his breath hitch with anger. He stood up and stepped closer so he was standing right next to Albus. His proximity seemed to make him even more nervous, as he shifted his weight onto his other leg to gain a few millimeters of distance between them.</p><p>“Alright, Gellert, I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, but… I think we shouldn’t have kissed like that.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because we’re men, both of us!”, he exclaimed and now he did look at Gellert, though his look was so unsteady Gellert didn’t back off. The obvious doubt in his voice betrayed him.</p><p>
  <em>So that’s it. You’re scared.</em>
</p><p>“But you wanted to, right? Kiss me.”</p><p>Albus sighed and dropped his head, staring at his feet.</p><p>“I guess I did. But it doesn’t mean we should just give in to it!”</p><p>“Albus”, Gellert said, quietly, guiding his finger to his chin to tilt up his head and make him look at him. He was suddenly sure about what to do. Immediately, he had sensed the problem and understood why Albus hesitated. Getting people to do what he wanted was his expertise, after all.</p><p>Albus eyes were soft and despite all of his words there was a clear desire in the brilliant sea of blue, the desire to succumb. Gellert had never seen anything so obvious.</p><p>“What is all that talk about what we should and shouldn’t do? There’s a million reasons why we shouldn’t kiss. But there’s one why we should: you want to and I want it as well.”</p><p>The look between them intensified. “I’ve never wanted anything more. Or anyone”, Gellert added truthfully.</p><p>He could see Albus swallow. And then, coming as a surprise even to Gellert, he was the one who made the move and pressed his lips onto Gellert’s mouth, with more passion than ever before. His whole body followed, almost falling against him, pressing into him with every limb. Their mouths opened and Gellert could hear Albus moan when their tongues met, their breath intermingled, becoming one.</p><p>Their kisses from the night before had been sweet and full of affection, but the desire burning between them was new. Gellert guessed he had reached his limit, the doubts and questions only enhancing his urge to finally make Albus his, once and for all. He couldn’t allow him to waver again, he had to understand they had no choice. His hands seemed to have a life of their own and crept under Albus’ shirt, stroking the shivering skin, pressing his slender body closer.</p><p>“Gellert”, he heard him pant when they parted, somewhere between plea and demand. His scent was overwhelming in Gellert’s nose, sweet and fresh and still very male. Though he was slender, Gellert could feel the muscles moving under the soft skin. There was no doubt he was a boy, a man even, but Gellert realized again how little that mattered to him.</p><p>He moved back to kiss him, more demanding this time, and felt how much he had longed for this, longed for <em>him </em>and the taste of him on his lips. Albus was pushing him back until he felt his back hit the wall, but he didn’t complain. This was the best thing that could have happened to him; Albus pressed against him, hot and hard, his hands at his hips, on his back, in his hair. Their mouths swallowing each others, their tongues dancing a mad dance of desire, their eyes closed in bliss.</p><p>When they parted again for air, Albus left his eyes closed, his forehead resting against Gellert’s. Gellert started caressing his face, still flushed from their heated kiss.</p><p>“It feels so right to kiss you”, Albus breathed. “I told myself I could live without it, but it seems that I can’t.”</p><p>“Nor do you have to”, Gellert whispered, placing short and sweet kisses on his lips. “Can’t you see we’re meant to be together, Albus?”</p><p>He wanted to tell him about his visions so badly, how many times he had seen him, how he had touched him in his dreams. Instead, he let himself be drawn to the bed. Although he wanted nothing more than just lie down and give himself to Albus’ hands, he realized there was something frantic about his movements, like he didn’t want to give himself too much time to think. So he stopped them both and took Albus’ wrist to prevent his hands from wandering.</p><p>“Wait”, he said, catching Albus’ eyes. “I need to know. Do you really want this, Albus?”</p><p>The hesitation was back in his gaze. Albus lowered his hands and seemed to come back to his senses somewhat. Gellert almost wished he hadn’t asked, and suddenly feared he wasn’t ready for the answer.</p><p>“I think…”</p><p>“You think. Maybe it’s time to think less and to feel more!”</p><p>Albus tried to kiss him again, but he wouldn’t have it. “Tell me, Albus. I need to hear it. I won’t do anything unless you tell me you want to.”</p><p>“Fine”, Albus replied quietly, closing his eyes. “I do.”</p><p>“Look at me.”</p><p>Albus opened his brilliant blue eyes again, looking somewhat desperate, but he held his gaze and said, firmly: “I want to.”</p><p>His lower lip trembled, and Gellert made sure to waste no time in capturing it with his own lips. That was all the confirmation he needed. Pushing Albus towards the bed slowly, he moved his mouth to his throat and started kissing and sucking where he felt his pulse.</p><p>“Now tell me <em>what </em>you want.”</p><p>Albus’ low moan went straight to his groin, where he felt heat accumulating.</p><p>“I want you… to touch me.”</p><p>Gellert’s mind seemed to go blank at those words. To have Albus in his hands like this was incredible, it was all he had been waiting for. His hands crept under the his shirt again, caressing him everywhere he could reach, listening to the quiet sounds of pleasure he elicited again and again with his touch. The skin under his lips tasted slightly salty.</p><p>Albus hit the bed with the back of his legs and they sank down on it, Gellert’s lips still on his throat.</p><p>“Take this off”, Gellert whispered finally, tugging at Albus’ shirt, and Albus obliged, not quite opening his eyes to look at him. He lay down, his chest bare and heaving, and Gellert crawled over him. Before he moved to kiss him again, however, he hesitated.</p><p>“Albus, please. Look at me.”</p><p>Albus’ eyes opened slowly and Gellert realized there was doubt still, the doubt he had been hoping to erase.</p><p>“We don’t have to, you know”, he said, tenderly stroking Albus’ cheek. “I’m fine with just kissing you. I’m fine if you just don’t avoid me!”</p><p>Albus shook his head, but, to his relief, didn’t look or move away.</p><p>“Can we just agree that this is strange, but I want it anyway?”, he said with a slight smile that made Gellert’s insides churn. He kept forgetting how inexperienced Albus was. Gellert had never thought too much about what sex was and what it could mean. Now, there was a promise, an anticipation that this was about much more than just their bodies, and suddenly he felt a little scared as well.</p><p>He didn’t know what to say, but knew at once he couldn’t, <em>wouldn’t </em>stop. In order to avoid any more words, he brought his body down on Albus’ and kissed him, deep and long, trying to show him how much he wanted him. With the new closeness, not only between their bodies, he felt himself grow hard against Albus, whose eyes flew open in surprise at his obvious desire. He didn’t mind, he wanted him to <em>feel </em>it, to feel him and his whole weight, so he pressed into him with a sudden urgency, a low groan escaping his throat. To his delight, he felt Albus’ own erection through the fabric of his trousers, and his head went spinning as he imagined freeing it. Instead, he first moved to kiss Albus’ bare chest, reveling in the quiet huffs and pants as his tongue traced the tender skin, the little shivers running through Albus’ whole body each time his lips touched him. And then, finally, his name from Albus’ lips, expelled as a sigh, thick with desire and longing.</p><p>The whole thing was beautiful and Gellert’s passion-hazed mind not quite able to capture it. Afterwards, he remembered removing all of their clothes, taking in the impossible beauty of Albus’ nakedness, the flawlessly pale skin under his hands that suddenly seemed rough and unworthy. He remembered Albus’ head falling back and the raw sound of pleasure from his lips when Gellert brought their cocks together, both painfully hard; his teeth biting into Gellert’s shoulder just before he came; his mouth tearing free and shouting Gellert’s name in ecstasy. Then Albus’ tentative hand on his abdomen, creeping towards his abandoned, leaking cock, the feeling of <em>his </em>hands, touching him, himself closing his eyes and surrendering to the feeling until he, too, gave in to the waves washing over him, his whole body shaking, his whole being reduced to the sensation of pleasure.</p><p>He took Albus into his arms afterwards, his fingers playing with the auburn waves on his chest. They didn’t speak for a long time, but Gellert felt it was the most beautiful moment he had ever experienced, a moment so pure and fragile he felt his heart could burst at any moment. He felt raw and vulnerable, and he could tell Albus was feeling the same from the way his was hiding his face in the crook of his neck. They were both covered in sweat and their cum was sticky between them, but he didn’t want to clean them and remove the traces of their lovemaking just yet.</p><p>Then, suddenly, when he had thought that nothing, <em>nothing</em> could destroy this, he suddenly heard a scream in his head, sharp and bitter. He was by then familiar with the way visions announced themselves, and a feeling of despair washed over him, drowning all the pleasure he had been feeling.</p><p>
  <em>No, please not. Not now. </em>
</p><p>He squeezed his eyes shut, but felt his body go tense. An imaged followed the sound, just a flash, of a body falling to the floor, a whirl of fabric, and a dull thud when it hit the ground.</p><p>It was over as quickly as it had come, but it left Gellert shaking.</p><p><em>Let it pass, </em> he told himself as he tried to control his breathing, <em>let it go.</em></p><p>“What’s wrong?”, he heard Albus’ voice from far away. “Gellert?”</p><p>He managed to force himself back into the present moment, but the peace he had been feeling was gone. Albus had sat up and was watching him with apprehension.</p><p>“It’s… nothing”, he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Everything was still hazy, but he tried to block it from his mind. He was here with Albus, they had just made love. <em>This </em>was real, not what he had seen in his head.</p><p>Albus lowered his head back onto his chest. “You just went all tense and your breathing became erratic.”</p><p>For a moment, Gellert had the crazy idea of just telling him all of it. He was a brilliant wizard, curious and thirsty for knowledge. They were alike in so many ways-- wasn’t there a chance that he would understand? Still, he abandoned the thought as soon as it had crossed his mind. Now was not the time.</p><p>“It’s alright, I get like that sometimes. Nothing to worry about.”</p><p>“I won’t, then”, Albus whispered against his skin, his arms draped around Gellert lazily. “I feel much too good to worry.”</p><p>His words made Gellert smile, partly out of happiness, partly out of pride that he had managed to do this to him.</p><p>“My sweet, sweet Albus”, he said, kissing the top of his head. “You were looking so beautiful, you have no idea.”</p><p>He was being sincere, not even trying to flatter. The words tumbled out of his mouth, it was just what he wanted Albus to hear.</p><p>“And you”, Albus said, now speaking so quietly Gellert could hardly understand him. “I couldn’t believe it when you spilled in my hand. That I was the one making you feel that way.”</p><p>This time, Gellert was the one to blush. Outside, the sun was lowering down, and even though sunset was still far away, he felt that afternoon was slipping into evening.</p><p>“I hope you’ll see me like that many more times”, he said.</p><p>Albus chuckled, then suddenly, as if having an idea, got out of bed and went over to his desk in one stride, still naked and beautiful. Gellert was watching him, turned onto his left side, his head supported by his hand, as he picked up a book and leafed through it for a bit until he exclaimed: “There it is! I’ve been meaning to show this to you.”</p><p>He came back and sat down next to him, handing him the book.</p><p>“<em>The Invisibility Cloak-- The most neglected of the Deathly Hallows.”, </em>Gellert read out loud.</p><p>“I found it by accident this morning while I was reading through my old books. It’s about all the theories where the cloak could have ended up. There’s a legend that it is still a family heirloom being passed down to Ignotus’ descendants. It’s fascinating, don’t you think?”</p><p>Gellert nodded. “It is. The cloak is the most mysterious of the Hallows. I haven’t found much information about it, anywhere. I think it will be the hardest to find.”</p><p>“<em>Will </em>be?”, Albus replied with amusement in his voice. “You’re talking as if you’re already set on finding them.”</p><p>“Oh, I am”, Gellert stated, speed-reading through the chapter. “It’s not like I have anything else to do with my life.”</p><p>“Then you should”, Albus retorted with a hint of sadness in his voice.</p><p>“And you should come with me”, Gellert said, looking up from the pages. “What’s keeping you?”</p><p>“My sister. My brother. In case you forgot.”</p><p>He looked slightly annoyed and Gellert realized how this was ever-present in his mind, an insurmountable obstacle. Why he himself considered it so little he didn’t know. Maybe it was because he trusted in his visions to show him the right way, and they had led him to Albus. So obviously, that must mean they would do it together. It was enticing, this thought, having Albus at his side, with all his radiance and intelligence. What they could achieve together, with the Deathly Hallows, he didn’t dare to imagine.</p><p>“We will find a way”, he said, closing the book, keeping his finger where he had stopped reading. “Can I borrow this?”</p><p>“Of course”, Albus replied with a shy smile that stood in contrast to how he had just abandoned himself in Gellert’s arms.</p><p>“What about you?”, Albus said, stroking Gellert’s hand on the book with his index finger. “You talk about yourself so little. Don’t you have a family to go back to?”</p><p>Gellert shrugged. “Not really.”</p><p>“Bathilda was talking about your mother.”</p><p>“She’s the last person who wants me back, believe me.”</p><p>A mixture between fascination and disbelief flared up in Albus’ eyes. “Are you sure? I can’t imagine anyone <em>not </em>wanting you.”</p><p>A laugh escaped Gellert’s throat, though not a happy one. “You haven’t met her, then.”</p><p>“I cannot imagine a mother not wanting her child.”</p><p>“Let’s not talk about her, Albus”, Gellert interrupted him impatiently. He was frantically looking for a topic to distract him, but his mind wasn’t helpful for once. They stayed in silence for a while.</p><p>“If the choice was yours”, he finally said, “what would you do? Just imagine the world you would create. If you had the power. If you had all of the Hallows. What would you change?”</p><p>Albus hesitated and looked out of the window.</p><p>“I told you already”, he replied after a moment. “I would bring my mother back. With the Resurrection Stone.”</p><p>“Imagine bigger”, Gellert interrupted him. “Not only for yourself. You would have so much power… would you use it only for yourself? It would be a huge responsibility.”</p><p>“I think… I would try to do good things. Try to make to world a better place.”</p><p>“Yes, but how?”</p><p>Albus sighed. “Why is that so important?”</p><p>“Well, if you don’t have a vision, why take the risk?”</p><p>“The risk?”</p><p>“You don’t think this will be easy, do you?”</p><p>“Gellert, I already told you, there isn’t really a chance I will go looking for the Hallows with you anyway, because…”</p><p>He froze suddenly, following the sound of a slamming door downstairs.</p><p>“Aberforth!”, he whispered and got up quickly.</p><p>“Calm down, the door is locked and soundproof”, Gellert said, getting up to collect his clothes. He cleaned them both with a casual “<em>Tergeo”</em> while Albus was getting hectic.</p><p>“He said he wouldn’t be back before evening!”</p><p>“It <em>is </em>evening already”, Gellert grinned and caught Albus arm, pulling him close. “Shh, don’t get like that. It’s alright, he won’t notice anything.”</p><p>Albus seemed to relax slightly and returned his smile reluctantly. “I think we should still get dressed.”</p><p>“Of course we should”, Gellert said tenderly and placed one last kiss on Albus’ lips. “I’m sure Bathilda is already expecting me for dinner. Only promise me you won’t find any excuses not to see me tomorrow. Alright?”</p><p>Albus nodded and his face lit up, hopeful at the prospect of their next reunion. Gellert released him and they both put on their clothes quickly, then Albus removed the spells on his door just before it opened and Aberforth strode in. When his gaze met Gellert, his eyes narrowed immediately.</p><p>“Good job looking after our sister, Albus.”</p><p>“For Merlin’s sake, she’s s<em>leeping, </em>Aberforth!”</p><p>A devious grin appeared around Aberforths mouth. “Oh no, she’s not. She’s sitting downstairs and when I asked her about you she said you have been inside your room with Gellert for <em>hours.</em>”</p><p>“And this is where I leave you”, Gellert interrupted him and strode out of the room. He had had enough of Aberforth and his constant nagging, and he wasn’t ready to get involved in yet another fight with him. The memory of Albus’ skin under his hands was still too fresh and he didn’t want to replace it with another bad experience.</p><p>He hopped down the stairs and when he passed the living room, he saw that Ariana was indeed sitting there on the couch. She was wearing a nightgown and staring out of the window when he approached her.</p><p>“Ariana.”</p><p>She turned around and smiled at him sweetly. He was looking for signs of instability in her, but she seemed perfectly calm and composed.</p><p>“Hello, Gellert.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I would’ve said hello, but we thought you were sleeping.”</p><p>“I was, but you woke me up when you came up the stairs.”</p><p>“We put some spells on the door to silence our conversation.”</p><p>“I know. But I heard you, anyway. Magic doesn’t always work on me.”</p><p>She looked at him with a knowing smile. And then, suddenly, he heard the scream again, heard the loud “thud” and felt his whole body convulse with the force of a vision that made him go blind. His eyes were wide open, but he didn’t see the room, didn’t see Ariana sitting there, but instead the figure falling once more, then hitting the ground.</p><p>When he came to his senses he realized he was still somehow standing on two trembling legs, but he felt shaken to his core. Ariana was watching him, he realized, not with the same horror other people looked at him when he had a vision, but with calm curiosity. She didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Well, I’ll be going, then”, he said and realized how hoarse his voice was. “I’ll see you, Ariana.”</p><p>“Right. See you, Gellert.”</p><p>She nodded and he rushed out of the house, then home to Bathilda.</p><p>…</p><p>It was a sweltering summer night again, and like usual, Gellert couldn’t sleep. His brain seemed to be overstimulated and just couldn’t stop <em>thinking</em> . There had been no other visions that evening, only the ordinary ones he had learned to ignore, meaningless snippets that mostly didn’t make any sense. He wanted to be happy about what had happened between him and Albus, and he tried to think about it instead of the disturbing image. But try as he might to focus on the memory of Albus’ face at the peak of his pleasure, he still couldn’t forget the vision he had had twice already in one day. What scared him the most was that the whole thing resembled the way his other vision about Kendra’s funeral had announced itself-- first, as a random flash, then becoming more and more frequent, until he could see clearly what would happen. And still, it <em>would </em>happen, and he would be powerless to stop it. It made him shiver with fear. Not again. Just not again.</p><p>He tried to distract himself by reading in Albus’ book, the one he had lent him, and it felt slightly comforting to hold one of his possessions in his hands, like a token of his affection. It was called “The Most Mysterious Magical Objects of all Times”, and despite its rather sensational title, it was quite a good read. Out of the three Hallows, it only treated the Invisibility Cloak, and Gellert wondered why the author had chosen it especially. For him, the Cloak had always seemed the most boring one, something he wouldn’t even consider chasing after, if not to unite all three. There were spells for invisibility after all, and he had no doubt that he would master them one day. Maybe it was included because it was indeed the most mysterious Hallow, the one about which the fewest records existed.</p><p>He read deep into the night and was finally getting sleepy when he heard a faint tapping noise on the open window, so faint that at first he chose to ignore it. When it grew more and more persistent, however, he got up to discover a tiny owl with a letter attached to its leg that almost seemed to big for it to carry. After Gellert had removed it gently, it settled down on the windowsill as if expecting a reply. His heart leaped when he discovered the letter was, of course, from Albus.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Gellert,</em>
</p><p><em>I’m sorry that we were, again, interrupted so rudely by my brother. I know the two of you are not on best terms, but I would like to ask you to forgive him and try to understand that he’s going through a rough time, especially with our mother gone.</em> <em>After you left, I tried </em><em>to explain the whole affair to Aberforth and Ariana in a way they can understand, </em><em>even though I’m not sure I can understand it myself.</em><em> I can’t quite believe everything that has happened today, and already, I find myself missing you, </em><em>even though</em><em> we’ve only been apart for several hours. Once I had a quiet moment to myself, I found myself thinking about what you asked me this afternoon.</em></p><p>
  <em>If I had the power, what kind of world would I build?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No one has ever asked me that, Gellert. No one has ever dared me to imagine myself as anything other than what I am right now, to think beyond the limits of my birth and my circumstances. So I found it hard to answer at that moment, but I want to answer you now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I would build a world in which no one has to be afraid of magic. I’ve never told you what happened to Ariana, but I will very soon. For now, suffice it to say that she’s trapped by it, by her ability to do magic, due to unfortunate circumstances. It is slowly destroying her. My father, as you might have heard, is in Azkaban, where he will likely die, because he did magic in front of some Muggle boys. I would never let anyone suffer their fate in my world.</em>
</p><p><em>I want to build a world in which no one has to hide who they are. Where I can love a boy, love you, without feeling ashamed, without having to deny it. Today, I felt the most alive I have ever felt. Your touch has awakened me and made me realize I’ve been sleeping. I’ve been studying, working hard to always be the best, to rid myself of the stigma my father has left me with. I have, as you so rightly recognized, always </em> thought, <em>never </em> felt. <em>Today, I’ve felt everything there is to feel. </em></p><p>
  <em>Please excuse my ramblings, it is late and I might not make sense. However, I wanted to share this last thought with you before going to sleep.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Good night. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Albus</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The owl was still waiting, so Gellert took out paper and quill and started writing his reply.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>My dearest Albus,</em>
</p><p><em>it is late and I hope you’ll forgive me if this letter isn’t </em> <em>the reply yours deserves. Thank you for sharing with me all you did. It is beautiful. A world where wizards can be wizards </em> <em>without hiding</em> <em>, where people can love who they love out in the open-- that would be paradise on earth, indeed. It also made me realize that humankind-- </em> <em>especially</em> <em> wizardkind-- creates </em> <em>most of</em> <em> its boundaries by itself. All the limitations we face are man-made. Magic doesn’t care who we are, who our parents are, how and where we’re born. </em> <em>It chooses the person in which to manifest </em> <em>and in what form, and all it leaves us to do is </em> <em>to </em> <em>use it. </em> <em>And in that respect, Albus, you and I are truly blessed. Even more so because we have met and can share our gifts with each other.</em></p><p>
  <em>With that, I leave you to your dreams and hope I will be in them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gellert</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He didn’t have to wait for Albus the next day. There were none of the uncertainties from the day before, no waiting for him to show up, no wondering what he had done wrong. Albus just came over after breakfast, all of his reservations seemingly dropped. Instead, he was shining like the sun itself, giving Gellert the brightest of smiles that warmed his heart to the core. He smiled back, pulling him into a quick hug before he stepped aside so he could enter the house. Bathilda seemed almost as glad to see him as Gellert, and they chatted amicably before he got impatient and took Albus to his room under a pretense, using the same spells on his door as they had the day before.</p><p>“We have the whole day to ourselves”, Albus exclaimed when they sat down on Gellert’s bed, and grabbed Gellert’s hand firmly. “Aberforth said he would stay with Ariana today.”</p><p>“Probably he doesn’t deem you a reliable guardian anymore after yesterday”, Gellert replied dryly. He could almost see Aberforth’s angry face, almost hear him shout: “Then go already, Albus! You don’t care about her anyway!”</p><p>The look on Albus’ face confirmed his suspicions and Gellert hated the guilt clouding it, a guilt that hung about him always.</p><p>“Don’t think about it”, he tried to calm him, kissing his mouth gently. He regretted saying anything about Aberforth at all. “A whole day, just the two of us! That sounds marvelous.”</p><p>“I’ll try”, Albus replied weakly. Gellert tried not to dwell on the feeling of overwhelming tenderness towards him that seemed to drown him at this moment. He had never been one to overthink or over-analyze, he liked to take his feelings as they came without questioning them. But lust, he figured, was much easier to understand, much plainer. The desire he had felt for Albus from the very beginning didn’t confuse him as the swelling in his heart did, this need to be around him every waking minute, to take in his very essence.</p><p>He felt the need to make things simple again, to go back to the territory he knew, so he kissed Albus, deep and demanding.</p><p>“So what do you want to do first?”, he whispered when they parted.</p><p>Albus looked at him, the piercing blue eyes flickering, and Gellert felt him hesitate. He knew, of course, what lay on his tongue, but it was too soon for him to voice his desires yet. It wasn’t important for him to say it anyway, because Gellert understood, and it took his breath away that Albus wanted him, even though he didn’t say it out loud.</p><p>They wasted no time on words and Gellert marveled at how easy it was between them now, as if Albus had made peace with the fact that they had crossed the line, that there was no turning back. He took of his clothes without really thinking about it and watched Albus do the same; it seemed natural to get naked in each other’s presence, for their skin to touch, for their lips to meet. Now that they had realized they had both wanted this to happen, they just couldn’t stop.</p><p>“I’ve missed you”, Gellert moaned when he felt Albus hard against his leg. It was still morning, but getting warm already, and they lay on the bed as a panting heap, without being able to tell where one of them ended and the other began. The friction was unbearable and after a few minutes Gellert’s body was already aching for release. He had slipped between Albus’ legs, which had wrapped themselves around him seemingly by themselves.</p><p>“Easy”, he breathed, backing off slightly, so his cock wouldn’t touch Albus’ anymore. “If we keep going at this rate, I won’t last.”</p><p>“We don’t have to, do we?”, Albus replied, his chest rising and falling at a fast pace, his fingers stroking Gellert’s arms and his back, leaving goosebumps in every place they touched.</p><p>“Oh, I intend to take my time with you”, Gellert muttered, hovering over his body without touching him.</p><p>“Do you think Bathilda can hear us?”, Albus said after a few seconds of playful kissing and turned his head to the side. “We fixed the door, but maybe she can hear us through the window.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, she’s working on her book in the study downstairs.”</p><p>The talk about Bathilda and whether someone could hear them sobered him up enough for his lust to retreat somewhat. He rolled on his back, pulling Albus on top of him. Their kisses were lazy now, less urgent, and he could take his time and enjoy the feeling of Albus’ weight on his body. Slowly, he opened his legs so he could sink between them, and it awakened memories that made his head spin. There was so much to try and he wanted it all with Albus, to clear away everything that had been before him. The pair of bright blue eyes was shining down on him, the auburn waves framing his head, gleaming golden-red in the soft morning sun.</p><p>“You’re beautiful”, he told him breathlessly, and it was true.</p><p>“Oh, Gellert”, Albus sighed.</p><p>He didn’t know whether it was a request, a question, a simple statement of adoration. Not knowing what else to do, he let his body speak, wrapping his legs tight around Albus’ hips. Another sigh fell from Albus’ mouth, this time louder, and it made the blood surge through Gellert’s body like fire. It had finally remembered the pleasure it could feel, after all the pain, the ritual, the visions. Here he was, a human being after all, with primal needs. He pulled the beautiful boy in closer, feeling their groins touch again, making them both gasp.</p><p>They were moving in unison, and Gellert couldn’t believe this was only the second time they were doing this, since their bodies seemed to be so familiar already, as if they had been made for each other. Albus seemed to belong here, between his thighs, finally making his visions come to life that had been lonely dreams for so long. He had s<em>een </em> it, but now, he <em>felt </em>it; real, true, in all its messiness.</p><p>Albus’ mouth left his with a shuddering sigh and went to explore Gellert’s body, who was torn between letting his head fall back and give in to the sensation and watching Albus with rapt attention. This boy, who had clearly never done this before, was already so skillful, acting out of some basic instinct to elicit pleasure from him, trailing down his chest, licking his nipples tentatively, reaching his navel and dipping in his tongue. Gellert moaned at the feeling, not quite in control of himself anymore. Finally, Albus reached the line of hair stretching from his cock to his abdomen and stroked it gently with his finger, without venturing further down where Gellert wanted his attention most.</p><p>He looked up and when their eyes met, Gellert thought his chest would burst with the thundering of his heart.</p><p>“I’ve heard there is a way for two men… to lie with each other. Properly.”</p><p>Albus voice was hoarse and, though thick with desire, also sounded scared. It almost made Gellert laugh, but at the same time, lust surged up his spine and settled at the base of his skull, making his mind unable to perform its natural functions.</p><p>“There is”, he replied quietly, his chest heaving, their eyes still locked.</p><p>“Have you done it?”, Albus asked simply, only inches away from Gellert’s arousal.</p><p>This wasn’t the time to evaluate whether it was better to tell a lie or the truth, so he only nodded slightly. “Do you want to?”, he asked.</p><p>Albus blushed and bit his lip. “Doesn’t it hurt?”</p><p>The idea crossed Gellert’s mind and suddenly his heart was racing with the thought of them joining their bodies in that way. He had felt it before, this mindless hunger, but for another reason; he had been high on magic and wild fantasies then, now he was high on the feeling of Albus’ closeness. The thought of them becoming one, as close as two human beings could physically be, let his arousal spike and block out every thought other than how much he wanted this.</p><p>“It hurts somewhat, but I can bear it”, he whispered, mesmerized.</p><p>Albus shivered slightly, apparently the thought had the same effect on him.</p><p>“So you think I should be the one who…”</p><p>“You should enter me”, Gellert breathed. “I think everything else would be too much for you right now.”</p><p>Albus sat up, suddenly very nervous.</p><p>“I don’t really know what to do.”</p><p>“Shhh”, Gellert hushed him by sitting up next to him, placing a kiss on his shoulder and laying an arm around him. “This should be fun. Not scary.”</p><p>He thought about what to do, how to lead Albus through this without frightening him.</p><p>“Lie down”, he whispered into Albus’ ear and smiled as his eyes grew wide. “And don’t worry so much.”</p><p>Albus did as told, but still the apprehension didn’t totally leave his gaze. When he was settled on his back, Gellert straddled him and took in the sight below. He couldn’t believe this discovery was <em>his </em>to make, this body was his to mark forever. Albus looked nervous, but still his face was lit with desire and his eyes traveled up and down Gellert’s body with fascination.</p><p>“Close your eyes”, Gellert ordered, for he didn’t want him to see what he did next. It was strange, doing these things in the bright light of the day, instead of a dark wood next to a flickering fire. He felt exposed and wasn’t entirely sure he liked it. So he whispered when he summoned a bottle of oil from the kitchen and distracted Albus with kisses and caresses while he prepared himself, probably not sufficiently, as a jolt of intense pain shot through him when he lowered himself down onto Albus’ length. He went rigid and inhaled sharply, trying to control it as he had learned with his visions, by simply breathing through it. It was hard to relax, however, as it didn’t seem to subside.</p><p>Despite his earlier demand, Albus’ eyes flew open as he slid inside Gellert’s body. He gasped and his hands wandered to Gellert’s hips, but not, as he had guessed, to thrust deeper, but to pull himself out.</p><p>“You’re in pain”, he said, seemingly under constraint. He bit his lower lip, as he so often did when in doubt. Gellert was suddenly reeling with the impact of many different and contradictory feelings; the need to get Albus back inside and not break their connection; the overflowing joy at his obvious concern; the tenderness he felt for this beautiful human being who actually <em>cared </em>about what he felt; and love, plain, undisguised, drowning him with all its beauty and frightfulness.</p><p>He was aroused, still, and refused to lift up so Albus could slip out of him entirely.</p><p>“Stay”, he whispered, tightening the grip of his thighs around Albus’ hips. “Don’t leave me.”</p><p>He was suddenly very aware of how needy it sounded and how clearly this wasn’t just about Albus leaving his body. Albus looked at him, torn between Gellert’s words and his obvious discomfort.</p><p>“Alright”, he whispered finally, then grasped for his wand, which was lying on the floor inside the pockets of his trousers, pointed it somewhere behind Gellert’s field of vision, and muttered some unintelligible words. Immediately, the pain lessened and Gellert felt himself relax and sink down further, taking in Albus deeper than before.</p><p>“What have you done?”, he asked in awe, supporting himself on Albus’ chest, who looked a little smug and definitely very proud.</p><p>“Muscle relaxing spell”, he said matter-of-factly, as if teaching a bunch of kids. “My mother used it on her back a lot.”</p><p>This made Gellert throw his head back in laughter.</p><p>“You’re strange”, he exclaimed, but was blissfully aware of the fact that the pain was almost gone, only enough left to enhance the pleasure. What remained was the feeling of being full and stretched around Albus’ cock, and now he could finally enjoy it. Slowly, he started to move, locking eyes with Albus who watched him in reverie. <em>Now </em>he remembered why he had liked this, even though the pain was back after a few thrusts, but not with its full force. It felt kind of complimentary, a perfect unity with the sensation of Albus’ hands grabbing his hips, the perfect, <em>perfect </em>angle at which he slid inside him, the feeling of being supported and yet in control.</p><p>He kept steadying himself on Albus’ chest with one hand for leverage; the other one went to grab the hand on his left hip. Arousal was spreading through him from a point deep within that Albus seemed to brush again and again, making Gellert cry out in pleasure when the feeling grew more and more intense. He closed his eyes to focus on it, his mouth open and gasping.</p><p>The sound of his name from Albus intoxicated him even more, the fact that he was giving him pleasure, too. It was evident from the way his grip grew harder, the way his hips were moving up to meet him, and, of course, from the quiet, shivering sighs and moans falling from his lips.</p><p>It wasn’t going to last long, he knew that. Even though he wanted nothing more than to stretch that moment into eternity, it was plain that Albus was already close. Gellert grabbed his own cock, trying to accelerate his release, when he felt Albus’ hand, stalling his own in the middle of its movement, then replacing it. The lust he felt was almost painful and he couldn’t decide whether to rock up into Albus’ hand or down onto his cock; both feelings were exquisite, addictive, <em>maddening. </em>All he tried to focus on was to keep his eyes open and to meet Albus’ gaze, who was clearly trying hard to last just a bit longer himself. The bright blue of his eyes seemed to drown him, and they were all he saw when finally, his orgasm thundered through him with a force that made his whole body shake, the vibration stemming from the point where Albus slammed into him hard, his hands keeping him firmly in place.</p><p>There was nothing more blissful than the feeling of Albus finally giving in as well, hit by his orgasm equally hard. Gellert had regained his senses enough so he could savor the way he trembled beneath him, eyes rolling back in his head, and the extended moan escaping his throat, after he had been so careful with his sounds before. He rode him through it, feeling a sticky wetness between his legs, dripping from the place where Albus came into him with slowing last thrusts.</p><p>Gellert was loathe to leave him afterwards, so he stayed, lying down on Albus’ chest with his cock still inside him. It felt comfortable to be joined still, to feel Albus’ arms wrap around him and his steady heartbeat slowing down.</p><p>Albus seemed to be lost in his own world, the only sign of life the absent-minded caresses on Gellert’s back. Gellert felt exhausted but satiated, and at this moment he had no other care in the world than to lie here, his face nestled into the crook of Albus’ neck, inhaling his scent. Nothing else crossed his mind, no visions, no Hallows, there was just the feeling of being, at this very moment, utterly at peace.</p><p>“That was amazing”, Albus breathed into his hair after a while, his voice calm and sleepy, but still full of wonder and amazement at the new discovery. “Did it hurt anymore after the spell?”</p><p>“It didn’t. It most certainly didn’t”, Gellert whispered against his neck with a smile. “You’re a genius.”</p><p>He finally managed to get up and roll onto his back. All of his strength seemed to have been sucked out of him and his thoughts started meandering around, unable to settle on a specific topic. Albus seemed equally lethargic. The sunlight was drifting through the window, illuminating their skin and making the dancing dust look like tiny snowflakes.</p><p>“You said in your letter that you wanted to tell me about what happened to Ariana”, Gellert said finally when his thoughts had landed there.</p><p>“Right”, Albus replied after a moment. They were lying next to each other, their bodies not touching anymore.</p><p>“So… tell me?”</p><p>Albus sighed. “This is probably not the right moment.”</p><p>“When will it ever be the right moment?”</p><p>He was silent for another minute or so, then he started to speak.</p><p>“You’re right, probably. I haven’t told many people about it yet. I haven’t even told Bathilda.”</p><p>“I know. I asked her about you.”</p><p>“Ever curious.”</p><p>“Of course I’m curious about you”, Gellert replied simply and rolled onto his side to scrutinize Albus closely. His eyes were fixed on a point far away, as if in deep thoughts. When he spoke, his voice was trembling.</p><p>“She was such a sweet child, you know. My mother was so happy to finally have a girl. Aberforth and I were thrilled to have a sister. We would play with her for hours on end. I think she was the only thing that brought us together, really, me and Aberforth. Otherwise we didn’t quite know what to do with each other, but when Ariana was around, we would always make peace for her sake. It was quite clear from early on that she had magic… she would make objects fly and she was already able to direct it and submit it to her will. I think she would’ve made a terrific witch.</p><p>“And then, one day… I didn’t quite know what had happened, I was ten at the time. Far too young to understand anything. She’d been playing in the garden and suddenly… I wasn’t home at the time, I was told later by Aberforth. Some Muggle boys saw her doing magic and attacked her… I don’t know <em>what </em>they did, but she wasn’t the same afterwards. She wouldn’t talk and she was crying a lot.</p><p>“Then it all became very weird. She wouldn’t practice magic anymore, but every now and then it would just burst out of her, uncontrolled. This got her even more scared and she would try to suppress it even more. We couldn’t calm her down. She’s been like this ever since.”</p><p>So that was it. It all made sense now. Gellert realized why he had felt this connection between them- it had all been the same for her. He remembered the village in the mountains, his childhood. He heard the whispers in his head. “Child of Satan.” “Kissed by the Devil.” They were all the same, everywhere. He had always tried to understand it, but now he realized how lucky he had been to escape his surroundings. And here Ariana was, destroyed by the very same ignorance and cruelty.</p><p>“I know”, he finally said. “I tried to suppress it, too. It didn’t work for me. It must be incredibly hard. And you must really want it. No wonder it can destroy someone.”</p><p>Albus looked at him, the blue eyes widening in surprise. “You did? Why? Isn’t your mother a witch?”</p><p>Gellert smiled and lifted his hand to remove a stray strand of hair from Albus’ forehead.</p><p>“Oh no, don’t try to change the subject. We’re not talking about me now.”</p><p>“It’s called a conversation”, Albus replied, sulking slightly. “You talk about one subject and it leads to another. Apart from that, there’s not much more to say. I went to Hogwarts the year after and only saw her during the holidays. My father, meanwhile, was stupid enough to go after these Muggle boys.”</p><p>“Stupid? He was right! Didn’t they deserve to be punished?”</p><p>“And what good did it do him? Or us?” Albus pushed himself up, suddenly agitated. “<em>He</em> ended up being punished for it. And we with him. My whole family is a mess. He’s gone and now my mother as well. And I’m the one <em>suffering </em>for it.”</p><p>From the way he was biting his lip again, Gellert saw that he was holding back his tears.</p><p>“I’d rather have them walk free than my father gone”, he went on. “They were obliviated, anyway. They will never remember it. <em>W</em><em>e </em>are the ones to remember.”</p><p>“Do you go to visit him? In Azkaban, I mean.”</p><p>Albus let out a short, joyless laugh. “Do you know about Azkaban at all? Who’s guarding it?”</p><p>“Dementors.” Of course Gellert knew.</p><p>“It’s a torture to be close to them, even a few minutes. We tried a couple of times, but… it’s just too much. And he is there. Every day. Every time.”</p><p>A heavy silence spread between them. Gellert didn’t know what to say. He had that gift normally-- to say the right thing at the right time. Now, words failed him.</p><p>“And your mother?”, he asked finally, even though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.</p><p>“What about her?”</p><p>“How… how did she die?”</p><p>“Your curiosity really has no limits.” Albus sounded suddenly angry. But Gellert just had to know, though he couldn’t let Albus know the reason. He had seen her death, after all, but on that part his Sight had failed him. He needed to know if there had been a way for him to turn it around, to save her. It had been nagging him ever since the funeral, even though he had been trying to forget it. Now it seemed important again, because Albus was.</p><p>“Neither Aberforth nor I were present. We’ll probably never know for sure what happened, but… we’re pretty sure it was caused by one of Ariana’s outbursts. It made her state even worse. She’s more afraid of magic than ever and she gets scared of the smallest things. That’s why Aberforth doesn’t want to take her out. Our day outside was a miracle. Do you remember her telling us that she saw a rabbit? On normal days a rabbit would’ve made her freak out and burn the whole field. Normally it takes Aberforth to calm her down. He’s much better with her than I am. He’s always been her favorite. Sometimes I think they must hate me, you know…many years I didn’t even come home during the holidays. I stayed at Hogwarts, just busied myself with books, spells and prizes. My mother was proud, of course, but now I feel so bad for not spending more time with her when I could…”</p><p>He went silent abruptly, and Gellert saw that his eyes were glittering with tears. When he took his next breath, a silent sob shook his body.</p><p>Gellert still didn’t know what to say, so he edged closer and took him into his arms, gently wiping away his tears. Now that he had started, Albus didn’t seem to be able to stop, and he began crying in earnest. Gellert realized he probably had not properly done it since the day of the funeral. He felt helpless at his grief, and at the same time, he was overwhelmed by an uncontrollable rage.</p><p>“How come we never punish Muggles for what they do to us?”, he said after a while when Albus’ sobs had calmed down a little. He didn’t know where that thought has come from, but it had struck him like lightening.</p><p>“Well, it’s obvious”, Albus’ sniffled against his cheek. “The Statute of Secrecy…”</p><p>“Yes, but why? Why does it even exist?”</p><p>“I’m sure you learned about it at Durmstrang, didn’t you? In 1688…”</p><p>“I’m not talking about the facts, Albus. <em>Why </em>does it exist? It’s supposed to protect us, right? And yet, it only protects the Muggles, those stupid boys who attacked Ariana, those stupid people in my village, who made my childhood a living hell… and there is my mother, living among them, raising her dull, boring Muggle children as her own, while casting out her only wizard child…”</p><p>His mind was racing at phenomenal speed, as it always did when he had an idea he deemed extraordinary. It all made sense now, the source of all of their misery, it was because they were forced into hiding. This fear, always instilled into them, of greater things.</p><p>Albus looked at him with this peculiar mix of confusion and fascination that he often regarded him with, his eyes no longer full of tears. He probably wanted to ask him what he meant, about his village, about his mother, but Gellert went on talking before he could interrupt.</p><p>“Do you remember what you wrote to me about the kind of world you envisioned? Where no one would have to hide who they are, to hide their magic?”</p><p>Albus blushed slightly and averted his gaze. “Well, it was late at night and I…”</p><p>“No, Albus, but what if this is the answer? If this is what’s holding us back, not only us, but all of wizardkind? We should live in the open, don’t you think? We’re the powerful ones, after all. We’re the ones blessed by the gift of magic.”</p><p>He so wanted to believe it, that this was the clue to everything that had gone wrong in his life, in Albus’ life. That they were superior, blessed by some divine force, to these stupid Muggle children his mother loved and cared for, instead of him. He had never given them much thought, but suddenly he hated them with a passion that seemed to come out of nowhere.</p><p>“So you’re saying you would want to abolish the Statute of Secrecy?”, Albus replied doubtfully, looking at Gellert with a frown on his forehead.</p><p>“Well, think about it. Think about what we could achieve. What wizardkind could achieve if we weren’t weighed down by the burden of constantly having to hide our nature?”</p><p>Albus pondered this for a moment.</p><p>“Good luck with that”, he replied finally, apparently not very convinced. “The whole idea is so deeply ingrained in our society now, it would be hard to topple it all just out of nowhere. You would have to be very convincing, present the right arguments… and have a very powerful force behind you.”</p><p>Gellert sat up to stroke the hair out of Albus’ face and look into his brilliant blue eyes. Suddenly, his Inner Eye flashed up and showed him a string of images in rapid succession: the falling body again, hitting the floor; the crowd chanting his name, the feeling of power coming with it; the fierce, older Albus, holding his wand and shouting through a wall of raging fire. He ignored them, so captivated by his new idea that it allowed him to simply block them out.</p><p>“Like the Deathly Hallows?”</p><p>…</p><p>The next two weeks passed in a lovestruck haze, and all of Gellert’s senses were full of Albus: his scent, the feeling of his skin, his lips, the faint scratch of his beard before he shaved in the morning. Most importantly, his mind was full of him as well. They seemed to connect on a level Gellert had never experienced with anyone else. Albus seemed to anticipate his every thought and sometimes finished his sentences and vice versa. It made them laugh, to hear their own thoughts from some else’s lips, and at the same time it was a new and thrilling discovery, to have found someone who truly understood, who could keep pace with their racing minds.</p><p>Bathilda, who had shown an incredible amount of patience, finally gave up on their daily lessons when she realized her company couldn’t rival Albus’ in any way.</p><p>“Off you go”, she sighed. “Maybe Albus should take over your lessons? You seem unable to focus on anything that isn’t him anyway.”</p><p>“Are you jealous, Bathilda?”, Gellert grinned mischievously. “Excellent idea, though.”</p><p>He had indeed been struggling to get through their daily practice, and had always tried to cut them short in order to get back to Albus as soon as possible. Apart from that, Albus had been teaching him different things anyway, many of them advanced spells he had most likely not learned at Hogwarts but figured out by himself.</p><p>“Alright then”, Bathilda sighed. “I’ll leave you boys alone, then. I feel cruel being the one who tears you apart for two whole hours each day.”</p><p>Aberforth had seemingly accepted his fate as well and wasn’t even trying to keep Albus home anymore. He made a point of rolling his eyes every time they slipped out of the house or went up into Albus’ room, shutting and sealing the door immediately. Once or twice they stayed with Ariana in her room, which was as gloomy as the rest of the house, and devoid of anything that could trigger an outburst from her. Unlike Albus’ room, which seem to bustle with life and magic, there was nothing moving, nothing bright, only static, basic furniture. Gellert felt a painful constriction in his chest when he imagined how this was her whole world, this depressing room, with no prospect of ever escaping it.</p><p>She was, as always, delighted with Gellert’s company and asked him so many questions about his life that it was hard to avoid all of them. Albus, who had sometimes tried to get something out of him but never quite succeeded, listened attentively even though he pretended to be busy with an old spell book.</p><p>“Why didn’t you go to Hogwarts, Gellert?”, she asked innocently while they were playing a game of backgammon. Gellert had taught her despite Aberforth’s fervent objections that the dice could trigger her, but he had ignored him and Ariana had become an adept player within a day.</p><p>“Because I didn’t grow up here. I grew up in a different country, so I went to a different school.”</p><p>“Which school, then?”</p><p>“It’s called Durmstrang.”</p><p>“Is it like Hogwarts?”</p><p>“I imagine they’re quite similar in many aspects, but they have very different approaches to the teaching of magic. Be careful, you should move your checker away from there. Otherwise, I might hit you the next round.”</p><p>“Don’t always help me, Gellert, or I’ll never learn”, she said with a serious expression that made him laugh.</p><p>“Alright, I’ll let you get beaten again if that’s your wish.”</p><p>She made her move and waited for him to make his.</p><p>“Who taught you that game, Gellert? It’s a Muggle game, isn’t it?”</p><p>“I guess it is, but it passes the time. My friend at school taught me. Apparently, in his country, they play it a lot.” The dice clattered on the board when he threw them.</p><p>“You’re always talking about different countries, but you never say which ones. You didn’t grow up speaking English, did you? You have an accent and sometimes you make mistakes.”</p><p>“Ariana!”, Albus interrupted, who had clearly been following the conversation. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”</p><p>“But it’s true! Yesterday, he said…”</p><p>“It’s alright”, Gellert silenced her and took her checker from the board, replacing it with his own. “I hit you, just as I said I would.”</p><p>“Damn it! I just <em>never </em>get the numbers I need!”</p><p>“Ariana! No swearing!”</p><p>“You read your book, Albus”, she said, rolling her eyes. Gellert couldn’t help laughing again, but he liked the fierceness she displayed in some moments. She had seemed like a frail and frightened girl when they had met the first couple of times, but the more he got to know her, the more he discovered there was a silent strength to her that was invisible to the outside. He just wished there was a way for her to vent all the energy accumulated inside of her.</p><p>“So which language do you usually speak?”, she went on asking.</p><p>“I grew up speaking… well, some dialect of German. It’s very peculiar. Then, I learned German and other languages. I’m a hybrid, I guess.”</p><p>“What’s a ‘hybrid’?”</p><p>“Never mind.”</p><p>“So, say something in German?”</p><p>“What do you want me to say?”</p><p>He felt slightly apprehensive speaking his mother tongue around them, especially in Albus’ presence, whose use of English was so sophisticated. Only in the throes of passion had it sometimes spilled out of him, usually filthy words that afterwards he had been quite glad Albus couldn’t understand.</p><p>“Hm… anything.”</p><p>“Guten Tag, Fräulein Dumbledore”, he said and she started to giggle.</p><p>“That sounds so strange! How do you make that sound at the back of your throat?”</p><p>Albus finally lowered his book and their eyes met. There was something in the way he looked at him that made Gellert’s heart skip a beat, as well as the tone of his voice when he said: “You should speak German more often.”</p><p>Gellert threw the dice again, lowering his gaze. He felt himself blush at the prospect of what there was to come later, a promise that always seemed to be present in these days.</p><p>Mostly though, they avoided other people and were content with each other’s company. They spent most of their time outside in the summer sun, exploring the area around Godric’s Hollow, strolling through the fields and woods around the village, reveling in the intense colors of the summer; red poppies and yellow cornfields all around them, a blue sky above. The sun was hot and burned their skin, and they would feel hot and flushed deep into the night, when the air had cooled and washed over them as they lay naked in either of their beds.</p><p>When Albus started to teach him, he was amazed how fast Gellert learned, just as Bathilda had been. They started with Transfiguration, which was Albus’ specialty, and he looked absolutely startled when Gellert managed to change the color of his hair and the shape of his ears at the first attempt.</p><p>“<em>Crinus Muto </em>is quite advanced, you know”, he said, obviously confused, as he had explained the spell in all its detail for about half an hour, and clearly expected Gellert to fail the first time. “I’ve never seen anyone just get it right away! Oh, please, change it back, you look ridiculous!”</p><p>Gellert looked at himself in the mirror and burst out laughing. “Oh, I quite like it! Though I can’t hear quite well with those cow ears. That’s because most people are scared to cast a spell the first time, especially on themselves. So they don’t really <em>try</em>.”</p><p>“Well, it <em>can </em>go terribly wrong, you see.”</p><p>“If course it c<em>an</em>. But it won’t if you do it right. And I always do it right.”</p><p>Gellert changed back to his usual self and looked at Albus provokingly.</p><p>“If we don’t manage these simple spells that serve no other purpose than to look absolutely silly, how are we going to do the advanced ones? The ones that actually matter?”</p><p>“Come on, don’t be so full of yourself. You still need to have a good foundation.”</p><p>“You’re just jealous that I managed to do a spell within an hour that took you a week to learn!”</p><p>“Two days”, Albus corrected him, slightly irritated. “And most people need several months!”</p><p>Gellert, who was sitting on the small chair in Albus’ room, pulled him into his lap and gave him a tender kiss. Albus’ resistance melted away in an instance and he wrapped his arms around Gellert’s neck.</p><p>“Let’s not compare ourselves to each other”, Gellert whispered when they parted. “In the future, we’ll always work together, anyway. But you should get bolder with your magic. You’re an amazing wizard, Albus.”</p><p>Albus blushed even more after that, but was eager to get back to their lesson, even though Gellert had secretly hoped for something else.</p><p>It was, however, the most amazing experience to watch Albus do magic, and to do magic with him. He looked like a work of art, waving his wand like an extension of himself, changing the order of the universe as nonchalantly as if he was brewing a cup of tea. Waves of power seemed to waft from him even when he did the simplest spells, and Gellert grew more and more fascinated by the elegance with which he subjected magic to his will. He would catch himself staring at him in those moments and feel a strong desire course through him.</p><p>Then, there were the nights. They spent the first few apart, then Gellert fell asleep after a fervent round of lovemaking in Albus’ room, long past midnight. He slipped out of the house in the early morning, before the sun had started rising and the birds had begun their daily symphony, after the best night’s sleep he had had in a long time. No visions had crept into the crevices between waking and sleeping, as they usually did, and waking up with Albus’ scent in his nose had made him more serene than he could remember. This made him decide he wouldn’t spend another night alone if he could avoid it.</p><p>Gellert was careful with Albus, as he still felt some resistance. After the first time of joining their bodies for real, he had been reluctant to do it again and Gellert had not forced it, either. It was enough for him to just touch Albus and taste him in every way possible, to make him feel pleasure, which he always did. He would explore his body for hours, making him writhe and tremble under him, and wait for his name, or a quiet “please” until he would let him come. In the night he first spent in Albus’ bed, he also took him into his mouth for the first time, an act that he had always deemed submissive and thus avoided with Ognyan. Now, it was the most beautiful thing and almost made him come himself. The intimacy he felt at the thought that only <em>he </em> knew what Albus actually tasted like, only <em>he </em>knew what he sounded like when his tongue licked along his shaft made him light-headed and sent mad waves of happiness through him.</p><p>Albus would pleasure him, too, with the determination he showed for all things he wanted to excel at. He studied Gellert’s body like a spell he wanted to master, memorized the places that made him shiver with delight, learned exactly how touch him and how rough or tender his touch needed to be. Gellert thought he would faint with bliss when he first returned the favor and licked along his cock, then swallowed him down in a quick movement that made Gellert see stars. A few nights later, finally, after they had spent what felt like hours kissing and gradually getting naked, he whispered with obvious embarrassment: “Can I enter you again, Gellert?”</p><p>“Of course”, he replied with a smile, almost relieved that he wanted to do it again, that he had not been disgusted by it. He pulled Albus on top of him and their bodies glided against each other, already damp with sweat. This night, they took their time preparing him and Gellert gritted his teeth when Albus pushed a finger inside of him, then two, then three; he thought he would die from the pleasure consuming him whole. He had not payed attention to how Albus’ fingers had gotten all wet and slick, but when his cock slid inside it didn’t meet much resistance and Gellert moaned loudly at the feeling of his thrusts that got harder and stronger each time. It felt amazing not to have to do anything, to just surrender his body to Albus and let him have his way. He wrapped his arms and legs around him and breathed against his shoulder as he let himself come completely undone, his whole body on fire. This time, he didn’t need any stimulation on his cock to come; the feeling inside of him was enough for him to finally throw back his head and cry out <em>loud</em>, his body trembling, all his senses filled with Albus. When he pulled out, Gellert wondered how he ever could have existed without him.</p><p>It was usually in those moments after making love, while their breath was quietening down and their skin still warm and sweaty, that either of them started talking about the Deathly Hallows. It had become like a game between them, their vision of a shared future in the brightest colors. Besides, it drew them back to reality, even though their talk was usually quite detached from it. Mostly, it all came down to the wand and how they would share it, if it would accept two masters at once.</p><p>“There is a wandmaker in Croatia-Slavonia called Gregorovitch who claims he has found the Elder Wand”, Albus told him one night while Gellert was slowly raking his hands through his auburn hair, lost in his own thoughts.</p><p>“Gregorovitch? Are you absolutely sure?”</p><p>“Yes, I think that was his name. Do you know him?”</p><p>“Well, not personally, but he made my wand. He has a little workshop somewhere in a small town, but his wands are sold all over Europe. When my mother took me to buy mine, she was absolutely intent on getting a Gregorovitch wand. Either that or Ollivander, but he sells his best wands only in London.”</p><p>Albus chuckled. “Well, he would. Anyway, I was planning to pay this Mr. Gregorovitch a visit on my journey, to see if there’s any truth to his claim. I actually wrote him a letter.”</p><p>“Seriously?” Gellert couldn’t help but laugh at this. It was so like Albus to prepare his journey meticulously and plan every step ahead.</p><p>“What’s so funny?”, Albus replied with the stern face he always out on in the rare moments when Gellert made fun of him.</p><p>“Nothing, just the thought of being a famous wandmaker and then, one day, receiving a letter from a schoolboy, saying: ‘Please, Mr. Gregorovitch, can I stop by and have a look at your wand?’”</p><p>“He actually wrote me back, saying that it would be a pleasure to receive my visit”, Albus retorted, slightly offended. “He wrote that he had heard my name and read some of my publications.”</p><p>“You seem to be quite famous already, Albus Dumbledore.”</p><p>“Small use to me now, since I’m going to waste away in this village”, Albus sighed, drawing small circles on Gellert’s chest.</p><p>“Maybe we’ll go visit him together one day”, Gellert replied. “See if there’s really any truth to it, if he really has the Elder Wand. I doubt it. It’s probably just some rumor to promote his business.”</p><p>“Perhaps, perhaps not”, Albus mused, lost in thoughts. “It would be nice to travel there with you, though.”</p><p>“If he’ll have me at all. Gellert hasn’t-ever-published-anything Grindelwald.”</p><p>This made Albus laugh and his whole body vibrate.</p><p>“Don’t be silly, what about all of your prizes? Maybe we’ll go one day. We can’t see into the future after all.”</p><p>Gellert didn’t say anything, just went on stroking Albus’ auburn hair. His Inner Eye had been silent for almost two weeks.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After two weeks in which they had never really left each other’s side, reality returned some</span>
  <span>what</span>
  <span> in the form of an envelope that was thrown onto the breakfast table by a huge brown owl, which vanished </span>
  <span>immediately</span>
  <span> after </span>
  <span>finishing</span>
  <span> its task. Albus opened it and unfolded the piece of parchment inside. He sighed after he had finished reading.</span>
</p><p>“It’s Aunt Honoria. She wants to come for a visit tomorrow.”</p><p>“<span>Honoria?”, Aberforth shouted from the kitchen where he was getting more bread. “Oh </span><em>no</em><span>, not her!”</span></p><p>“<span>Is </span><span>she</span><span> the one who always smells like </span><span>fish?”, Ariana asked absently, soaking little pieces of bread in her tea before popping them into her mouth. </span></p><p>“Like fish? Ariana, please!” Albus took the letter and read it again. “She has a cat and she always carries around some small little fish to feed it”, he explained to Gellert. “She’s my father’s sister and she’s never married.”</p><p>“I told you”, Ariana said with a shrug. “I don’t like her a lot.”</p><p>“<span>I don’t either, but she’s the only family we’ve got left”, Albus said with a hint of sadness. </span><span>“Oh, and s</span><span>he wants to stay for </span><em>two whole days.”</em></p><p>“Does she have to?”, Aberforth complained when he slumped down into his chair after returning from the kitchen.</p><p>“Maybe you should go home while she’s here, Gellert”, Albus said with a frown. “I wouldn’t want you to meet her. She would ask you all kind of silly questions, I remember her being very curious.”</p><p>“<span>Now, that’s </span><span>some </span><span>good news at least”, Aberforth said </span><span>and rolled his eyes. “I can do without him </span><span>in the house for once.”</span></p><p>“<span>You’re such a pleasant host,</span><span> Aberforth”, Gellert replied coolly and sipped his tea. The thought of leaving Albus for two days in a row seemed almost impossible by now, but at the same time </span><span>he felt it</span><span> might be good to collect his thoughts and clear his head </span><span>for a little while</span><span>. Apart from that, he had not really spend any time with Bathilda lately and was beginning to feel slightly guilty. </span></p><p>“Why did you spend the <em>night, </em>anyway? Don’t you have a bed at Bathilda’s?”</p><p>“<span>That’s none of your business, Aberforth”, Albus interrupted him and Gellert was sure everybody noticed </span><span>him blushing. </span></p><p>“Alright, I’ll go home tomorrow and leave you to your aunt.”</p><p>“<span>I like having Gellert here”, Ariana said with a dreamy look </span><span>and gave him a warm smile.</span></p><p>“That makes one of us”, Aberforth said, loading his plate with heaps of scrambled eggs. He seemed to have an enormous appetite in the morning, unlike Albus, who ate very little.</p><p>“Thank you, little one”, Gellert said affectionately, ignoring Aberforth.</p><p>“<span>I told you, I’m not…”</span></p><p>“You are”, Gellert said laughing, quickly tipping her nose. “You’re a little lady, but little nonetheless.”</p><p>
  <span>At his touch she suddenly went rigid and a shudder went through her whole body. It happened within the blink of an eye, so fast </span>
  <span>that none of them had time to react, apart from Aberforth, who jumped up </span>
  <span>immediately </span>
  <span>and reached her just before her eyes went w</span>
  <span>hite</span>
  <span> and she seemed to be grabbed and shaken by some invisible force. Gellert didn’t have the time to take in everything that happened at once; </span>
  <span>Albus </span>
  <span>pulling out </span>
  <span>his wand and firing some spells in rapid succession, Aberforth holding Ariana tight, stroking her hair and whispering soothingly into her ear, and Ariana, </span>
  <span>writhing </span>
  <span>in the throes of something dark and horrible that Gellert had never seen or felt before. He felt his heart pound uncontrollably in his chest, unable to act or </span>
  <span>even tear his eyes away from the scene. There could be no doubt that there was dark magic at work, something barely contained struggling to break out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was over as quickly as it had started. Ariana went suddenly limp in Aberforth’s grip, her eyes returning to their normal color, then fluttering shut. </span>
  <span>Aberforth didn’t budge, but held her for several minutes, during which </span>
  <span>none of them</span>
  <span> said a word. Albus drew a shaking breath and lowered his wand slowly, staring at the pair, just </span>
  <span>as</span>
  <span> Gellert.</span>
</p><p>“What happened?”, Gellert finally managed to whisper, but no one answered for some time, until Aberforth finally lessened his grip and straightened up.</p><p>“You triggered her, that’s what happened”, he said coldly, watching Ariana apprehensively.</p><p>
  <span>Ariana was </span>
  <span>trembling</span>
  <span> and seemed confused. She gripped the edge of the table </span>
  <span>to steady herself.</span>
</p><p>“You alright?”, Aberforth asked her and gently stroked her back.</p><p>“<span>Sorry, Gellert”, Ariana said quietly, her voice hoarse. “It wasn’t your fault, I just got scared.”</span></p><p>“<span>Alright, let’s all calm down”, Albus said finally, trying to keep </span><span>his voice steady,</span><span> returning to his seat. “Nothing happened. </span><span>Thank you, Aberforth, you reacted right in time and prevented </span><span>the worst</span><span>.</span><span>”</span></p><p>He was visibly shaken, but tried to keep his calm.</p><p>“I think we should go to your room a little, Ariana, what do you think?”, Aberforth said tenderly and extended his hand to take one of her still trembling ones, ignoring the words of his brother.</p><p>
  <span>She raised her head and looked at </span>
  <span>him</span>
  <span> with a tearful expression. </span>
</p><p>“I messed up, didn’t I?”</p><p>“<span>Oh no, you didn’t sweetheart. You just need some rest.” </span></p><p>She took his hand reluctantly and let herself be led out of the room, leaving Albus and Gellert in silence.</p><p>“Well, now you’ve seen it. That’s what happens”, Albus finally broke it after a few minutes. “And this wasn’t even a full outbreak. Sometimes it gets worse and she will… kind of burst and destroy things.”</p><p>“It’s good that you reacted so quickly, then.”</p><p>“It’s good that <em>Aberforth </em>reacted so quickly. I didn’t do anything, just cast some spells to curb her destructive energy, in case it would break out. He actually knows what to do, how to calm her down.”</p><p>He took a deep breath and Gellert noticed that his hands were still shaking. He took one of them and pressed it gently.</p><p>“Albus, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault”, Albus replied quietly, but his eyes were fixed on a point far away. Gellert wanted him to look at him, to really mean what he said. Instead, he went on. “But you need to take this more seriously. You treat this like a game, you think we’re exaggerating. This was only a taste of what she can be like. It’s totally out of our control, also of yours, no matter how great a wizard you might be.”</p><p>
  <span>A strange feeling washed over him and left him with a sick sensation in his stomach. He had felt </span>
  <span>it</span>
  <span> before, </span>
  <span>the last time in Durmstrang, </span>
  <span>when</span>
  <span> he had woken up with his head in a complete mess after the ritual-- the feeling of having messed up and done something utterly and </span>
  <span>horribly</span>
  <span> wrong. </span>
</p><p>He let go of Albus’ hand and tried not to think of how it had felt on his skin the night before.</p><p>“Maybe it’s nice for her to be treated like a normal human being once in a while?”</p><p>“Gellert, she <em>is </em>no normal human being!”</p><p>He was suddenly tired and his head began to hurt and feel blurry. The flickering behind his eyes was dangerous, he knew that by now, as it usually preceded a vision.</p><p>“Alright, then. I’ll leave you to your family business. You know where to find me.”</p><p>“Gellert—”</p><p>He didn’t stay to wait for what Albus had to say. Instead, he got up and left the house, careful not to slam the door or otherwise vent his anger until he was out of earshot.</p><p>…</p><p>Bathilda seemed surprised to see him, especially<em> alone.</em></p><p>“Gellert, is that you? What an unexpected honor.”</p><p>“Oh, please shut up.”</p><p>“Gellert, mind your language!”</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <span>immediately </span>
  <span>realized how rude he had been. Losing one’s temper was something he had always regarded as weakness, </span>
  <span>so he tried to regain his composure by taking a deep breath. </span>
  <span>Visions were dancing behind his eyes like little fairies, but still, they didn’t </span>
  <span>break through</span>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>“I’m sorry, Bathilda”, he managed to say and dropped down onto the couch. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I was just angry.”</p><p>Bathilda sighed and put down the watering can she had been watering her plants with, something she insisted on doing without magic for the sheer love of it. The mimosa on her bookshelf whimpered in protest.</p><p>“I’ve realized that. Still, I guess I’m not the source of your anger, so I ask you not to direct it at me.”</p><p>She approached him slowly and sat down next to him, patting his arm. “Did something happen?”</p><p>“Well, kind of. Ariana almost had an outburst of some sort. I was the cause, I touched her nose… but just as a joke, I didn’t know it would happen! All of the sudden she went all weird and…”</p><p>“Gellert, calm down!”, Bathilda interrupted him, seeing how agitated he still was. “Tell me <em>exactly </em>what happened.”</p><p>He retold the whole experience and shivered with uneasiness when he finished his tale. Bathilda regarded him with a strange expression in her eyes, something akin to what she had looked like when Gellert had told her about casting the Pythia spell-- a mixture between fascination and horror. She didn’t say anything, however, only muttered to herself: “That poor girl.”</p><p>They sat in silence until Bathilda said: “Well, I guess it’s good for you to spend some time for yourself and leave them be for a while. They need some time as a family. They’ve only lost their mother, as apparently you need constant reminding.”</p><p>This made Gellert angry again, but this time, angry at <em>her</em>. Couldn’t she see <em>he </em>was meant to be with Albus now? It had been in his visions, after all; he wasn’t meant to stay here, in this village, with his siblings. He was meant for greater things.</p><p>This made him realize how much he was aching for Albus already, and the prospect of spending three whole days apart seemed almost unbearable. Moreover, it was partly his own fault for storming out of the house, when they could have had a whole more day together. Before he could say anything, Bathilda continued to speak in a soothing tone.</p><p>“You should go upstairs, there are two letters for you that arrived last week. One was delivered by an owl and the other one-- by a hawk.”</p><p>Gellert’s heart immediately started pounding faster, as he knew to whom the hawk belonged.</p><p>“<span>Thanks, Bathilda”, he said and vanished upstairs to his room, where indeed two letters were waiting for him on his desk. He opened the first one </span><span>and was greeted by intricate writing in </span><span>woven Turkish</span><span> letters. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Gellert, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Some time has passed since that fateful day when you left Durmstrang, and </em>
  <em>although</em>
  <em> I was angry at you for quite a while, that anger has passed </em>
  <em>over</em>
  <em> time and I find myself missing you, dear friend. I went back to my family in Turkey and we’re spending the summer months </em>
  <em>in our summer house in the mountains, as the heat becomes unbearable along the coast. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what happened and about what I could have done to stop it. Tell me, my friend, how is it that </em>
  <span>you</span>
  <em> make a mistake, yet </em>
  <span>I’</span>
  <span>m</span>
  <em> the one who can’t sleep at night? I fear for you, out in this world, all by yourself. I hope you are with someone who can support and guide you, as I know how much you need guidance. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>After you were gone, I felt the desperate need to make sense of things, so I went to see Professor Draganov and asked him to explain </em>
  <em>to me </em>
  <em>the spell that you did, as you took it from his book. It almost broke my heart to learn all that you </em>
  <em>put yourself through</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>How do you fare with </em>
  <em>t</em>
  <em>hose visions? He also explained how the spell drives most people mad. I hope you’re doing alright.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Returning to Durmstrang without you won’t be the same. Every summer, I would be sad at the prospect of leaving my family and my country, but at the same time, look forward to seeing you again. Now that you’re gone, this last year is stretched before me like a bleak plain. I will probably even miss your mischief and your perpetual rule breaking. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please, write back and tell me how you’re doing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Expecting your reply.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mehmet</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gellert’s heart warmed at the words on the paper, making him almost forget about his misery with Albus for a moment. More than being expelled from Durmstrang, the thought had pained him that Mehmet might hate him for what he had done. If </span>
  <span>he</span>
  <span> could forgive him, didn’t that mean that there was a second chance for him, even when he messed up? </span>
</p><p>He ripped open the second envelope and unfolded the letter inside, this time in German, covered with a neat and tidy handwriting he had never seen before.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Gellert,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope this letter finds you well. Hopefully, you had a pleasant journey to England and are enjoying the time with your relatives. I write to you today to deliver sad news-- my great-grandfather passed away two days ago in his sleep. His death, however, was peaceful, and I believe he didn’t suffer. He had a long and fulfilled live, as you might have guessed from the short time you spent with him. You surely left an impression on him and he mentioned you often after you’d left. He even left you something from his possessions. It’s nothing precious and probably not even useful-- I haven’t figured out what to do with it yet-- but given its nature, I didn’t think it appropriate to send it to you via owl. I’d be glad to hand it to you personally, however, when you visit Berlin again. Please do, Gellert. It was a pleasure meeting you. I hope your path leads you wherever you need to be.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your friend,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Luise</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sat in silence for a while after reading the second letter. It wasn’t sadness that he felt after he had learned the old man had finally died; he had not known him very well, after all. Still, there was a somber feeling of having lost someone important, and he knew why: he had been left alone as the only person alive who had survived the Pythia spell. There was no one he could ask or exchange his experiences with anymore. He had suspected they wouldn’t meet again when they had parted, but now he somehow wished he had asked him more, how he had lived with it all those years, how he had handled the pain of knowing things that others did not. He wondered if he had seen people die, too, if the Sight had been as much of a curse to him as it had been to Gellert so far.</p><p>At that moment he realized he had not even told Albus about it, and it suddenly seemed like a big obstacle, like being isolated and separate from the person he didn’t want to feel any separation from.</p><p>
  <em>I need to tell him, </em>
  <span>the thought. </span>
  <em>Even if I risk him hating me for it.</em>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t imagine what someone like Albus would feel about what he had done, someone who </span>
  <span>had never broken</span>
  <span> the rules and </span>
  <span>was probably afraid of every little misstep. Small wonder, after all that had gone wrong in his life. It was obvious why he wanted things to go right.</span>
</p><p>After some moments in which he recollected his thoughts, he grabbed his quill and a piece of parchment and, with great difficulty, composed a letter in Turkish. Being out of practice, it took him almost an hour, as he constantly deleted and rewrote entire parts and was still not quite satisfied with the result.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Mehmet,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can’t put into words how glad I was to receive your letter. I often thought about how we parted, and I regret that our last words were sad ones. To know that your anger at me has passed gladdens me beyond belief. I try not to dwell too much on regret,</em>
  <em> but I often find myself in doubt if I did the right thing. You certainly would immediately object and say that I didn’t, but so far only know that I unleashed a great power that I haven’t learned to wield yet. I do hope that I will, some day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You asked if I’m in good hands, and I’m happy to tell you that I am, in the very best. I’m staying with my great-aunt in England, although I didn’t know I had a great-aunt until a week before I met her. She’s a lovely lady and so helpful. She’s trying the best to help me and teach me a lot of spells that I’m going to miss from the last year. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There’s another thing, Mehmet, that I need to tell you, and I’m not sure whether you’ll believe me. I’ve fallen in love. I won’t tell you a lot about that person, only that it is someone I truly look up to, who is incredible at magic, even better than I am (forgive me if this sounds presumptuous). I would love to talk to you about it more. I miss talking to you, the way you would always make sense of things. I’m so confused by all of this. It is someone I want to build a future with, but who’s so bound to family and duty that I’m not sure whether this is possible. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I never thought that something good would come out of being thrown out of Durmstrang, but being here and having met this person, I wonder if it was destiny all along. The only thing that still makes me sad is that it took me so far away from you, my friend. I really </em>
  <em>hope</em>
  <em> our paths will cross again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m ardently awaiting your reply.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gellert</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He asked to borrow Bathilda’s owl to deliver the message, since Mehmet’s hawk had already left after </span>
  <span>not receiving a reply for several days</span>
  <span>. She agreed reluctantly, since it would mean that Philomena would be gone </span>
  <span>for a quite some time</span>
  <span>, </span>
  <span>although she</span>
  <span> was used to traveling long distances, as Bathilda </span>
  <span>regularly corresponded with many wizards and witches all over the continent. </span>
</p><p>“<span>She should be back in </span><span>four</span><span> to </span><span>five </span><span>days; faster than most owls. I chose her exactly because of her exceptional speed. Being a historian requires collecting a lot of information from all kind of places.”</span></p><p><span>When the owl flew out of the window with flapping wings, Gellert’s heart beat a little faster. He wasn’t sure whether it had been the best idea to tell Mehmet about Albus, however vague his description had been, but he had felt the desperate urge to </span><span>share his secret.</span> <span>Being away from Albus, if only for a couple of hours, </span><span>had cleared his mind somewhat</span><span>, and he began to realize how truly overwhelming </span><span>what he felt for him really </span><span>was. He had been quick to call it “love” in his letter, and now he became aware of how bold this claim was. </span></p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure he had ever truly been in love, despite his romantic feeling toward Mehmet. It had felt good to be around him, had made his heartbeat accelerate; he had savored every touch, every look. </span>
  <span>But maybe, he mused, it had just been the delight of having a friend who had accepted him with all of his flaws and was </span>
  <span>still </span>
  <span>willing to be with him, to be a steady rock in his otherwise tempestuous life. Without him, he probably would have become a very twisted human being. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Albus… he closed his eyes and it took him no time to recall his smile, his scent, the touch of his hands. Nothing had ever prepared him for this, not all the love stories, the poems, the hymns. </span>
  <span>The mere thought of not being with him drove him into utter despair. </span>
</p><p>He spent the day with Bathilda, though with a heavy heart, but glad to be in her company again. She made him an apple cake with apples from her garden, which she ripened with a spell since they were still too green and too hard to be used for anything. They sat chatting for a long time, and Gellert realized how soothing and steadying her influence on him was, how the billowing waves of his mind seemed to calm down when she was around. Things seemed to make more sense when he spoke to her about them, a little like it had been with Mehmet.</p><p>“So did Albus throw you out? Or why did you choose to spend the afternoon with your great-aunt?”, she asked, pouring him the third cup of tea.</p><p>“Not really. He asked me to leave since their aunt will visit tomorrow and stay overnight.”</p><p>“<span>Their aunt? Which one?”</span></p><p>“Honoria. I believe they have only one.”</p><p>“Ah, the spinster with the cat.”</p><p>Gellert caught himself smirking. “You’re quite a spinster yourself, Bathilda.”</p><p>“Gellert!”</p><p>“<span>I’m sorry”, he raised his hand</span><span>s,</span><span> “but you called </span><em>her </em><span>a spinster.”</span></p><p>“Alright, I shouldn’t have. These were Albus’ words, not mine. Still, I wasn’t right to reuse them.”</p><p>“So, Bathilda”, Geller asked after a moment, sipping his tea. “Why don’t you have children? Why aren’t you married?”</p><p>“That’s not really something to ask.”</p><p>Gellert sighed. “There are so many things you’re not supposed to ask, and then you just end up wondering and jumping to the wildest conclusions.”</p><p>“<span>So what’s your </span><span>wild </span><span>conclusion about me?”</span></p><p>
  <span>Gellert scrutinized her for a moment. He had never looked at her from any other perspective than being her great-nephew, but when he thought about it he realized how she could be seen as </span>
  <span>an </span>
  <span>attractive </span>
  <span>woman</span>
  <span>. Not beautiful in the strict sense, but her warmth, </span>
  <span>her steadiness</span>
  <span> and her enthusiasm for the things she was passionate about made her someone it was a pleasure to be around. Surely, she’d had suitors, and many.</span>
</p><p>“I think you’re married to your work”, he said finally.</p><p>“<span>Quite right! </span><span>I’ve never quite felt like living the life of a married woman or a mother.”</span></p><p>“You would be a good mother, though, I’m sure.”</p><p>“I would! It’s just not something I would enjoy. There are too many things I’d have to give up.”</p><p>“<span>I wish you were my mother</span><span>”, Gellert said reluctantly after some time. He didn’t quite know why h</span><span>e </span><span>had said it, maybe it was because of Albus and the way he was constantly prioritizing his family, that he felt the need for a family of his own. </span></p><p>“<span>And I would love to”, Bathilda smiled, patting his arm, “</span><span>considering that you come</span><span> as </span><span>the</span><span> complete package! But you happen to already have one of your own.”</span></p><p>“She’s not behaving like my mother, though”, Gellert replied somberly. Being reminded of her never raised his spirits.</p><p>“<span>I could see your relationship wasn’t a particularly fond one”, Bathilda </span><span>said sadly</span><span>. “However hard she tried to pretend. Still, there was something that made me feel she’s proud of you.”</span></p><p>“She most certainly isn’t.”</p><p>“<span>It’s sometimes hard to read people, Gellert, and your mother, she’s… a very peculiar woman. I’ve never quite understood her. My sister, she always kept to herself and went her own way, going to Germany all by herself… then she got married to this Swiss wizard, however she found him in that remote village. When your mother was born, she didn’t even send an owl. I found out by mutual relatives-- about the birth of my own niece! I never judged her, </span><span>despite everything, </span><span>I always assumed she would find her own path. </span><span>She was bold and assertive, </span><span>your grandmother, </span><span>and quite a beauty in her youth, unlike me. All of which, it seems, she passed on to you.</span></p><p>“What I guess I’m trying to say is… I’d love to have more answers for you, Gellert, but I don’t really know much more about your part of the family than you do. But one thing I know is… you can’t chose your family, nor can you escape them. Take me, for example. I haven’t been in touch with neither my sister nor your mother for decades. And then, you show up on my doorstep and suddenly you’re a big part of my life.”</p><p>At her words, Geller felt warmth spreading through him. The thought of being a big part of someones life made him dizzy with happiness.</p><p>“If only we’d met sooner”, he said, taking another slice of apple cake. “Maybe you’d have saved me from a lot of things that went wrong in my life. Maybe I never would’ve tried that spell.”</p><p>“Perhaps. But remember, all the things that happen to us, all the decisions that we take, ultimately make us who we are. You were shaped by all of it, and there wouldn’t be a Gellert like you of things had gone differently. Speaking of which, how have your visions been lately?”</p><p>“You wouldn’t believe it, but they’ve been almost absent for two weeks. They’re like a very low humming at the back of my head, not even strong enough to be legible or push to the surface.”</p><p>“Interesting”, Bathilda replied, regarding him with the look of a scientist studying her object of research. “And why do you think is that?”</p><p>“I guess… I’ve been very happy lately.”</p><p>“<span>That is possible indeed”, Bathilda said after a sip of tea. “I’ve read again and again that the Sight </span><span>shows itself</span><span> mostly when the mind is in trouble. Happiness is not its favorite playground. That’s why some Seers who want to induce a visions plunge themselves into deep despair. </span><span>By the way, I’ve written to my publisher and asked him the release a new edition of my book on the Sight, so I can update the chapter on the Pythia spell. I can’t just leave my mistake </span><span>written </span><span>in there for everyone to see!”</span></p><p>Gellert had to smile at her eagerness. “Married to your work, I see.”</p><p>“Being a noted historian doesn’t come from nothing”, Bathilda said with a trace of self-irony. “So I’ll leave you now and go back to my beloved. Have as much cake as you like, Gellert.”</p><p><span>The next day was difficult, as his longing for Albus got stronger and stronger with each passing minute. The night had been especially lonely and sleep had </span><span>eluded</span><span> him, </span><span>and he was so tired the next day that</span> <span>a vision did become strong enough to push through while he was lying on his bed, and it left him utterly shaken.</span></p><p>
  <span>He had been re-reading </span>
  <em>De-Mystifying the Mysterious, </em>
  <span>as Bathilda had suggested, even though he had </span>
  <span>planned</span>
  <span> to do more research on the Deathly Hallows. When suddenly the symbol flashed up in front of his Inner Eye, he first thought it was the </span>
  <span>result</span>
  <span> of him thinking excessively about it, but then it became clearer and clearer, until he saw it was a bloody line engraved on a man’s forehead. </span>
</p><p>“<em>Bitte, mein Herr</em><span>”, he pleaded in German with a strong Austrian accent. “Please let </span><span>us</span><span> go. At least my wife and my children. </span><span>You can have the servants.”</span></p><p>
  <span>His voice was choked with tears and broken by sobs. Gellert felt, to his surprise, an uncontrollable anger at him, this little worm, insignificant and magicless, and he raised his wand as he heard a woman laugh next to him. He had the same feeling he’d had in his visions before, of being in</span>
  <span>side</span>
  <span> his own body, but unable to act, he was helplessly stuck in this scene that made him feel sick with horror and, at the same time, incredibly powerful. </span>
</p><p>“<span>I will not let anyone go. I will kill everyone in here until every Muggle in this place is dead. </span><span>Do you know why</span><span>?”</span></p><p>The man sat on a stone floor, trembling and clearly confused, blood flowing from the wound on his forehead where the symbol of the Deathly Hallow stood carved into his flesh. He didn’t speak, as apparently it was dawning upon him that no matter what he did or said, he wouldn’t escape this situation alive.</p><p>“Answer him!”, came a voice from next to Gellert, and the woman he’d heard laughing earlier rushed forward; a beauty with curly, jet-black hair reaching her waist and dark fire in her eyes. The numerous bracelets around her wrists jingled when she kicked the man in the guts, eliciting a painful groan.</p><p>“I… I don’t know…”, whispered the man between countless sobs. He was barely able to speak. Gellert decided he didn’t want to waste any time with this scum.</p><p>“<span>Then I will provide the answer for you”, he said quietly, almost gently, stepping forward with his wand raised. “Because you, all of you, are worthless, not even good enough to </span><span>wipe the floor you’re sitting on</span><span>. We have no use for you. You’re parasites, sucking us dry, </span><span>drop by drop of our </span><span>magical </span><span>blood. Before you die, though, I want you to know something. I want you to know that there are wizards and witches in this world, bestowed with the power of magic. And because </span><em>you</em><span>, and by that I mean non-magical, ordinary people, could never accept being second in line, some of us decided to hide from you to protect you. But </span><em>I </em><span>think you don’t deserve protection, and that, my friend, is going to be the new order of the world. So say goodbye, and if there is an afterlife, prepare to meet many of your kind there.”</span></p><p>With a smile, he turned around, facing the crowd surrounding him, and cried: “Ladies and gentlemen, Nurmengard is ours!”</p><p>He was met with roaring applause and cries of triumph that didn’t subside until he raised his hand.</p><p>
  <span>When he heard a whimper from below, h</span>
  <span>e </span>
  <span>held</span>
  <span> his wand higher, to execute this last spell, and saw the man’s eye go wide with fear and horror, and in his head, he heard a loud and heart</span>
  <span>bre</span>
  <span>aking: “NO!”--</span>
</p><p>– <span>and then he was back on his bed, sweating and trembling all over, unable to focus on anything, opening and closing his eyes in rapid succession. When he realized, suddenly, that it had been him who had screamed, the door burst open and Bathilda rushed in, </span><span>took</span><span> him into her arms and </span><span>started rocking</span><span> him gently</span><span>. The scent of lilac and lavender washed over him and made him calm down gradually, </span><span>while he clung</span><span> to her so tightly it must have been painful. She spoke soothing words he wasn’t even able to </span><span>understand until the haze cleared and he realized how pathetic </span><span>he must seem, like a child woken up by a bad dream who had to be cradled back to sleep. Still, he didn’t free himself for quite some time; it felt too good to be engulfed by the motherly love she showed him after the horrors he had just seen.</span></p><p>“What happened?”, Bathilda asked when he finally got up and opened the window to get in some fresh air.</p><p>“I had… a vision.”</p><p>He looked at her and she must have noticed his fear, as she asked, hesitantly: “What did you see?”</p><p>
  <span>He thought about telling her to release his burden, but at the same time, he felt he couldn’t. There wasn’t anything she could say that would make him feel better. If what he had seen was indeed to be his future, </span>
  <span>there wasn’t anything or anyone that could save him. </span>
</p><p>“Nothing that involves you or anyone here”, he only said, avoiding her gaze.</p><p>She was silent for a while, clearly thinking very hard.</p><p>“I wish you’d still tell me”, she replied, finally.</p><p>He sighed deeply. “I guess the problem about the Sight is that it never shows you what you wish to see. There seems to be a lot of glory for me in the future, but also… a lot of darkness.”</p><p>Suddenly, he felt tears prickling on his cheek. Just when he had thought the visions had gone, or he had finally found a way to conquer them, they were back, with the same smashing force. He couldn’t recall having a vision so clear out of nowhere; they had always announced themselves and, bit by bit, claimed his Inner Eye. This one had caught him off guard. And, apart from the horrible and cruel scene he had just witnessed, it made him tremble for another reason: there had been no Albus in it, not the slightest trace of him. There had been no bright blue eyes in the crowd, no auburn hair anywhere to be seen.</p><p>“You might not want to hear this”, Bathilda said after a moment, and it clearly cost her some effort. “But I need to say this, because I want us to be open and honest.”</p><p>Gellert nodded as if to give her permission.</p><p>“I sense a lot of darkness in you already, Gellert. I might not be the right person to judge this, but… ever since you arrived I’ve had that feeling that I’m pulling you back from some kind of abyss. You seem to be a perfectly lovely young man, and in many ways, you are. You’re the closest thing to a son I’ve ever had. That is why it pains me so, this fear of you giving in some day and just plunging down.”</p><p>He looked at her incredulously. While it moved his heart that she really, truly, seemed to care about him, he didn’t want to admit how much his words scared her.</p><p>“What makes you think that?”, he replied defiantly, wiping away his tears with both hands.</p><p>“What makes me think that? You executed one of the world’s most dangerous and dark spells without even thinking twice, for once. While your determination and dedication is admirable, you never even hesitated. At least that’s the way you told me.”</p><p>“Well, I wasn’t afraid, if that’s…”</p><p>“Exactly”, she interrupted him and her look made him uneasy. “You’re not afraid. Fear might be an obstacle at times, but in itself it’s a useful tool if you use it as an adviser. You, however, refuse to be advised. Without fear as a guidance, it’s easy to lose your way.”</p><p>“I’ve never needed fear to get anywhere”, Gellert said, now getting slightly angry again. How was she so sure that she knew him better than himself?</p><p>“<span>I’m not saying you need it to get anywhere. I’m saying that you need it </span><em>not </em><span>to get somewhere.”</span></p><p>He looked at her and felt his anger mounting. Some part of his brain told him he would say something hurtful if she didn’t leave right away.</p><p>“Alright, Bathilda. Thank you for your advice. I think I need some time for myself. Could you please leave?”</p><p>There was clear regret her eyes, the regret of having missed a chance. She got up slowly and closed the door behind her, leaving Gellert in a devastating turmoil.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He spent the rest of the day convincing himself that the vision meant nothing, and trying to forget his conversation with Bathilda. There was no other way for him to deal with it, and by the time they had dinner in the evening, they were back to normal small talk, even though all the unsaid things still seemed to hang between them.</p><p>At some point, something the old man in Berlin had told him came back to him.</p><p>
  <em>You see, what makes these visions so dangerous is our willingness to accept them as reality. Sometimes there are visions we particularly like or we’re particularly scared of. We’re fascinated by them, want to know more. That’s why we try to take hold of them, dive into them, keep them.</em>
</p><p>Wasn’t this all he needed to know? He had said this after a lifetime with the Sight, after all the experiences he had made with it. There was no point in dwelling on it. After all, he had no idea when and how what he had seen would happen, if he would even live to experience it. If the person in his vision had been <em>him </em>at all.</p><p>At nighttime, lying in his bed, he tried to think about Albus, but it didn’t make him feel much better. There was a whole day to go without him still, and he didn’t even know whether he would come looking for him right away after Aunt Honoria had left. Maybe he was still angry at him because of what had happened with Ariana, after all. It felt wrong to lie in his bed all by himself, and he realized he was lonely. He so desperately wanted to wrap his arms around Albus, feel his warmth, inhale his scent, ascertain himself that he was real, flesh and bones. That he was more than a mere vision, that the future they envisioned was stronger than what his Inner Eye told him.</p><p>It was still warm outside, the heat didn’t really subside during the nights anymore. Bathilda kept complaining about how they desperately needed rain, while she showered her garden with streams of water from her wand. Gellert had left the window open, but the air only provided only limited relief.</p><p>Suddenly, when dreams began invading his conscious thoughts, he heard a familiar tapping on the glass of the open window, and shot up straight in his bed. He had been feeling strung tight all day, so the sound made him jump up and run to the window. When he looked down, he saw a familiar face, and the sight flooded him with relief.</p><p>“Albus!”, he whispered, without being able to keep the delight out of his voice. He could barely see him in the dark, but his mere presence made Gellert calm down immediately.</p><p>“Gellert, are you still up?”, Albus whispered back from below. He was hidden beneath the apple tree next to Gellert’s window, but it was unmistakably him. “I’m sorry, it’s late, but I couldn’t get away earlier. It turned out Aunt Honoria stays up late.”</p><p>Hearing his voice made Gellert’s heart leap with joy and made it even more obvious how much he had missed him. His only thought was how to get close to him, to take him into his arms. He needed it more than ever.</p><p>“Should I come down? Or do you want to come up?”</p><p>“Can I? Come up, I mean? I’m terribly tired.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Before he could think of something, Albus took out his wand and waved it while muttering a spell, then, to Gellert’s amazement, just stepped onto thin air. Where his foot fell, a kind of invisible step seemed to appear and carry him. He walked up to the window that way, until he was face to face with Gellert, who had been watching him curiously.</p><p>“What spell was that?”</p><p>“Air cushion charm”, Albus said with a smile, touching his nose to Gellert’s, who felt a wild flutter in his stomach.</p><p>“You have to teach me that”, Gellert whispered, returning his smile. “Now come in, don’t stay out there hanging in the air.”</p><p>He stepped back and Albus entered the room through the window frame, stepping on Gellert’s desk. Gellert extended his hand to help him down, and he conveniently landed in his arms.</p><p>It felt like an eternity since he had last embraced him, despite it having been not even two whole days. He wrapped his arms around him and held him tight, one hand sneaking into his hair and gently stroking it. Albus pressed himself against him with equal urgency, sighing against his cheek when he felt Gellert’s hands.</p><p>“I’m sorry for what happened with Ariana”, Gellert finally said after savoring the moment for a while, speaking the words he had been preparing for almost two days. “I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry that I didn’t take it seriously enough.”</p><p>“It’s alright”, Albus whispered. “I wasn’t right to be angry at you. I wasn’t really angry at you, anyway, I just… I felt so powerless. I guess it was easier to be angry at <em>someone</em>.”</p><p>“I understand”, Gellert said simply. He did. He had felt it too, that complete loss of control when he had seen how Ariana had been gripped by some powerful, dark force.</p><p>“Can we please lie down, Gellert?”, Albus finally asked, going slightly limp against him. “I’m so tired I can barely stand.”</p><p>Gellert took his hand, not wanting to let go of him for a single minute, and pulled him to his bed. He lit a candle on his desk, which illuminated Albus’ features beautifully. His eyes seemed to be shining like two bright blue stars in the near darkness.</p><p>“How have you been?”, Gellert asked when they had settled next to each other, gently stroking Albus’ hair. “How is it with your aunt?”</p><p>Albus sighed, his eyes already falling shut. “It’s difficult. She’s nagging about every single thing, about how the house is dirty and untidy, how Ariana doesn’t look like a proper young lady, that all her dresses are worn out, that Aberforth never washes, and so forth. She’s dressing Ariana up like a doll and she hates it. Not like you did, the other day, with that spell. She looked really beautiful then. But Aunt Honoria’s magic isn’t that advanced.”</p><p>“Why did she come, then?”</p><p>“Well, that’s the thing. She wants to help us out with some money, so I can’t really refuse her anything. And Merlin knows we need it, with Aberforth left with another year of school and Ariana… the way she is. She’s pressing me to get a job, and she’s right, I definitely should… but I don’t want to be stuck in this place forever, Gellert. I don’t want to.”</p><p>“I know. And you shouldn’t be.”</p><p>“I guess it’s just tiring to be confronted with reality”, Albus sighed and gave himself to Gellert’s caresses. “How I’ve missed you, Gellert. How I’ve missed your hands.”</p><p>“Only my hands?”, Gellert whispered and let them slip under the fabric of his shirt to feel his bare skin. Albus let out another sigh.</p><p>“Of course not. But can we just sleep tonight? I think I’m no longer capable of anything else.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do anything, Albus. Just let me make you feel good, alright?”</p><p>He was desperate to touch him, and knew it wouldn’t do to simply go to sleep. It wasn’t so much about his own need for release, but to reassure himself that Albus was there, that he was real. Albus protested weakly when Gellert glided down alongside him and opened his trousers, then pushed them down vehemently. Despite his protest, he cooperated, even raising his hips so Gellert could get his lower half naked more easily.</p><p>The taste of him made Gellert dizzy with lust and his quiet sounds of pleasure told him that he wanted it, too. His body seemed to oblige willingly despite his earlier objections, and he gave in beautifully. Gellert’s hand gripped his hips to keep him in place when he swallowed him down, steadying him with his touch when he couldn’t do it with his words. He normally had to reassure him constantly, tell him he was doing well, that he felt amazing, that he wanted him so much. Now, with his mouth occupied, he tried to do the same with steady strokes and caresses on his skin, while not letting him go for even a second.</p><p>It aroused him, too; the feeling of Albus shivering beneath him, the soft skin on the inside of his thighs, his cock heavy on his tongue. How easy it was to give him pleasure, how familiar his body already felt. He had heard the same sounds many times, but every time they seemed to be new and exciting and every time Albus called his name it went through him like a bolt of lightening. It was the only thing better than magic.</p><p>He felt playful tonight, even though he knew Albus didn’t, but he needed to shake off his fear and anxiety, so he decided to overwrite them with excitement. One of his hands left Albus’ hips to venture down between his legs and back between his cheeks to a place where he knew Albus had never been touched before. He felt him wince at the contact and inhale sharply, and wasn’t sure if this was a good or a bad sign, but decided to go on until he would meet any resistance.</p><p>It felt strange and cost him quite a lot of concentration; to keep up the suction on his cock, not graze him with his teeth, and, at the same time, explore him with his fingers, stroking him slowly, languidly, like he himself would enjoy it. He wasn’t in a rush and Albus’ didn’t seem on the verge of sleep anymore. His body was stretched out, one of his hands grabbing Gellert’s hand on his hips, the other in his hair, but gentle, never pulling or pushing too violently.</p><p>Gellert had never done this before and noticed he felt slightly at loss for what to do, and how to do it <em>right. </em>He acted on instinct only, trying to remember what had felt good down there. His mouth left Albus’ cock only quickly enough to collect some pre-cum and coat his fingers with it. Albus had gone slightly rigid, his breath coming fast, as if anticipating what Gellert was about to do.</p><p>“Gellert”, he breathed, and then: “oh, <em>Merlin</em>”, when Gellert pushed in one finger boldly, before throwing back his head and crying out. Gellert’s blood rushed through his veins at the unexpected intimacy of the moment that probably should have made them feel embarrassed, but only left him in awe. Albus felt hot and tight inside, just as he had expected, but he had not expected himself to almost lose his control over it.</p><p>“Are you alright?”, he asked, freeing his mouth to catch his breath.</p><p>“Please, don’t make me think about it”, Albus rasped, panting equally hard. “Finish this, Gellert, make me come.”</p><p><em>Here we go again</em> , Gellert thought, even though he moved to follow his command. <em>Still afraid of your desires.</em></p><p>He had noticed before how it scared him, his urges, the loss of control. His body was clearly enjoying it, but in his mind there was still a barrier he had to overcome again and again.</p><p>Still, Gellert wasted no time and started caressing him from the inside while licking his cock eagerly, then taking it all in again. When he added a second finger, Albus’ thighs started to tremble, and something resembling a sob broke from his mouth.</p><p>“Please, Gellert. <em>Deeper</em>.”</p><p>He couldn’t believe what he was hearing and the words went right to his core. Doing as told, he pushed in further, feeling Albus clench around his fingers, still whimpering and shuddering, still trying, somehow, to hold back. Gellert’s own cock was painfully hard, even though he tried to ignore it, focusing instead on Albus and his pleasure. It was almost impossible, however, as he was overcome by an animalistic urge to just push up his legs and <em>claim </em>him, make him feel his hardness inside, mark him <em>there </em>forever. Thrusting in his fingers as far as possible, moving them back and forth, he felt shivers running through Albus’ body, his cock impossibly hard and leaking.</p><p>He didn’t notice at what point exactly Albus abandoned his reservations, but suddenly he seemed to just let go, as if something inside him had snapped. Crying out Gellert’s name in a frenzy, he opened his legs wide to give him better access and threw up his hands to grab the bars of the bed behind his head, his body arching off the mattress. It almost drove Gellert insane, and he realized he had never seen Albus like this, so completely surrendered to his passion. He was beautiful and radiant and Gellert was mad with desire for him; he wanted to give him everything he could, even his very heart.</p><p>When he added a third finger, Albus didn’t object; he only let out a string of filthy words that went straight to Gellert’s groin, along with a stretched-out groan that did as well. After that, it didn’t take long until he finally gave in for good, his body writhing and convulsing under him, not even trying to hold back his moans. He tried to pull back but Gellert wouldn’t let him, he swallowed everything to the last drop before he could think about the taste, holding him firmly in place until he had calmed down enough for Gellert to gently remove his fingers.</p><p>An uncomfortable silence ensued while Gellert cleaned them quietly with a spell, then moved to snuggle up against Albus, who was by now covering his face with his hands. He tried to pry them away, but Albus only turned to the side facing away from him, and Gellert realized with horror that he was crying quietly, his body vibrating ever so slightly with suppressed sobs.</p><p>“Oh dear, Albus”, he whispered, gently caressing his back. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>The terrible fear of having made a mistake suddenly seemed to drown him. He had only tried to make Albus happy, after all, not to make him cry. For a moment, he stayed there helplessly, until Albus’ silent sobs seemed to subside and he finally spoke.</p><p>“I’m sorry, this is ridiculous.”</p><p>“Please, Albus, turn around.”</p><p>Albus slowly did as told, his eyes still slightly watery, trying to force a smile.</p><p>“I guess it was a little too much. I felt overwhelmed, I didn’t know… I could be like this.”</p><p>It was only then that Gellert understood that <em>Albus </em>was the one who had been afraid. He had probably come to find some comfort in Gellert’s arms, not to venture into new and potentially dangerous territory. Even if for Gellert it had all been about Albus’ pleasure, he realized now that his desire to please him had been a selfish one. In the end, had been about control and how to make Albus lose his, when he should have made him feel safe.</p><p>Still, the picture of Albus arching off the bed and pushing down onto his fingers had been ingrained in his mind, and he was sure he would never forget it.</p><p>He pulled Albus against him carefully and let him hide his face against his neck.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Albus”, he whispered. “Next time, please tell me to stop if you don’t like it.”</p><p>“I didn’t want you to stop”, Albus answered, his lip moving against Gellert’s throat. “Merlin, I wanted it so much, it felt so good I couldn’t think straight. That’s what scared me. It was like my brain had just switched off.”</p><p>Gellert had to smile despite himself.</p><p>“I already told you, you’re relying too much on that brain of yours. Sometimes it’s <em>supposed </em>to be switched off.”</p><p>Albus was silent for a while and his breathing had gone slightly shallow, so that Gellert wondered if he had fallen asleep already. He wrapped his arms around him carefully, trying not to wake him in the process, when he started to speak again and Gellert realized he had not been asleep at all.</p><p>“Ariana was devastated, you know. She thought you maybe wouldn’t come to visit anymore after what happened. I had to tell her a thousand times that you would be back.”</p><p>Gellert felt a tingly happiness spread through him while caressing the warm skin on Albus’ back. The thought of someone missing him and wanting him to come back was something he wasn’t familiar with and it made him crave more.</p><p>“So, will I be allowed back into the house?”</p><p>“Don’t be silly, Gellert. Of course you will.”</p><p>“I’m afraid Aberforth will chase me out with a stick.”</p><p>“He won’t. You wouldn’t believe how many times he did something that triggered Ariana himself, he can’t hold that against you. I actually believe you’re good for her, she’s much calmer around you. He must see that, too. Apart from that, he doesn’t have a say in this.”</p><p>Gellert chuckled. “Oh, I like that. Somebody is asserting his rights as the elder brother.”</p><p>Albus sighed. “I wish it was that easy. I don’t have any authority over him whatsoever. It’ll be a relief once he’s back at Hogwarts.”</p><p>“And you free to do what you want.”</p><p>“Well, apart from Ariana…”</p><p>“We could take her with us, couldn’t we?”</p><p>“When we go where?”</p><p>“I don’t know, wherever we want. Travel, explore the world, look for the Hallows...”</p><p>“Stop that, Gellert. You know it’s not possible. No go to sleep. It’s late and really need to get back early tomorrow morning so they won’t notice I was gone.”</p><p>Gellert tried to be silent and fall asleep, but a thought pushed into his mind and after some time he decided he needed to voice it.</p><p>“Is there no cure for her? For Ariana, I mean.”</p><p>“Hm?”, mumbled Albus, already half asleep. “A cure?”</p><p>“For her… problem. There must be something. She can’t be the first.”</p><p>“Gellert, do you <em>ever </em>sleep?”, Albus groaned. “Do you think I haven’t looked into this? We’ve thought about it a lot, many times, just to give her to St. Mungo’s and see if they can help her. But then I figured they would probably lock her away, her being a danger for to the Statute of Secrecy and all. That would make it only worse for her. We’d rather have her here, where we can watch her. And make the most of her life.”</p><p>“I’m not talking about a hospital or some dim-witted healers. I’m talking about a cure, Albus.”</p><p>“I don’t think there is”, Albus whispered. “I’ve read a lot about it. They call it ‘Obscurial’, what she is, and most of her kind don’t make it past the age of ten. The repressed energy usually kills them before that. It’s a miracle she’s made it this far.”</p><p>“There’s magic for everything, Albus, I believe that”, Gellert said. “It only depends on where you look and what you’re willing to do. What kind of life is that anyway? Locked away in your gloomy house for the rest of her days…”</p><p>“She’s doesn’t complain nearly as much about it as you”, Albus replied impatiently. “It’s far too late for that kind of conversation.”</p><p>He silenced Gellert with a kiss to prevent him from speaking again.</p><p>“Sleep now”, he said again and snuggled up against him, and after what felt like mere second, he was fast asleep.</p><p>Gellert tried very hard, but it took him a long time. All he could think about were Ariana and Albus, locked in the cage that was their life, and how he could make them break free.</p><p>…</p><p>He woke up early, when the birds started singing madly and the sun had not risen yet, the sky just changing from night to morning. Albus had sat up next to him and was rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“Good morning”, Gellert mumbled. Albus turned around and caressed his hair for a little while.</p><p>“I need to go back”, he said. “Honoria will leave tonight. I will send you an owl or come to pick you up when she’s gone.”</p><p>He kissed him gently and then got up to get dressed. Gellert watched his movements and smiled drowsily when he turned around.</p><p>“I wish you could stay. Have breakfast with me. Spend the whole day together.”</p><p>Happiness was written all over Albus’ face and Gellert wished it could always be that way.</p><p>“Tomorrow we’ll do all of that. It won’t be long.”</p><p>With that, he jumped out of the window and was gone.</p><p>Gellert went back to sleep and didn’t wake up until the sun was already high in the sky, and he wondered how he had been able to sleep with the bright light. His head still felt dizzy when he stumbled down the stairs, and when he entered the kitchen, he was greeted by a very stern looking Bathilda. He immediately sensed something was wrong, despite the day being still young, and he wondered what he had managed to do wrong while sleeping.</p><p>“Good morning”, he said expectantly.</p><p>“Good morning”, she replied and poured him a cup of tea without saying anything else.</p><p>Gellert sighed. “Bathilda, there’s clearly something you’re mad about. So please, don’t act all weird, just tell me. You’re going to, anyway.”</p><p>She looked at him hesitantly and he realized it must be something she wasn’t entirely comfortable talking about.</p><p>“Alright”, she said, handing him the cup. “I had… I had a hard time sleeping last night. It seems you had a visitor.”</p><p>It then dawned upon Gellert, slowly and painfully, that they had entirely forgotten to use any spells to prevent them from being heard the night before. They had always been careful to do it previously, but somehow it had not occurred to either of them this time.</p><p>
  <em>Oh dear.</em>
</p><p>He felt himself going bright red, but at the same time, a furious defiance rose inside of him.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“Do I need to explain more? Do I need to tell you what you did? You know perfectly well what happened and we both know who the visitor was.”</p><p>He took a sip of tea to gain some time and managed to meet her eye.</p><p>“Quite right, you don’t need to tell me. We both know who it was and what we did. So what are you trying to tell me, Bathilda? ‘Don’t do it again’? ‘It’s sick’? ‘It’s wrong’? ‘You’ll go hell for it?’”</p><p>She sighed and closed her eyes, massaging the point between her eyes were a deep frown had formed.</p><p>“This is <em>exactly </em>the reason why I never wanted any children! The avoid these kind of conversations! Honestly, Gellert, I don’t really care what you do. I don’t think it’s wrong or anything, at least I’m not in a position to judge that. I just want you to think, for once, about what it implies. Because you’re not the only one involved in this.”</p><p>“So you’re saying I shouldn’t spoil poor little Albus with my depravity? If you really heard us last night you’d know he enjoys this as much as I do.”</p><p>Bathilda went as red as he himself probably was. “Stop it, Gellert! Knowing you, I have no doubt about who initiated the whole thing.”</p><p>“So what?” He was shouting by now. “He’s of age, unlike me. If you don’t think it’s wrong, then why stop it?”</p><p>“Because this isn’t just about what<em> I</em> think. I know this is all just a game for you! You told me about the spell, I already knew you were thus inclined. But I’ve known Albus for a long time and I know he’s not the same. If he does something, he’s serious about it.”</p><p>“It might surprise you, but I’m serious, too!”</p><p>“As far as you’re capable of being serious, maybe. But where will this lead? I’m not trying to instill into you some moral awareness, Gellert, I know it’s too late for that. But just because I tolerate these things doesn’t mean everyone else does. The Muggles used to hang people for it until not too long ago, and they still send them to prison and do other horrible things that I don’t even want to talk about!”</p><p>“But we’re not Muggles, are we?”</p><p>“I don’t know about your country, Gellert, but there are voices in the Ministry here calling for the very same laws to be enforced for wizards. The only reason they’re turning a blind eye to it still is because they consider it such a Muggle thing to talk about. As serious as you might be, what’s your plan? It’s not like you can just get married and live happily ever after. Are you just going to change the world?”</p><p>“If that’s what it takes.”</p><p>Bathilda threw back her head and gave out a loud, incredulous laugh. “Go ahead then! I’m sure the whole world will just change its course for Gellert Grindelwald. You’ll find, soon, that there are things you just have to accept the way they are.”</p><p>“So what do you want me to do?”</p><p>“What do you want <em>me </em>to do? I’m your guardian! Your mother entrusted you to me, that means as long as you’re here, I’m responsible for your actions.”</p><p>“Don’t act as if this was about her. They might as well hang me for buggery for all she cares.”</p><p>“But <em>I </em>care, Gellert, don’t you see that? I care for both of you. If not, I would just sent you back to her after this and save myself all the trouble...”</p><p>“I love him, you know”, he interrupted her.</p><p>She looked at him in surprise, but she couldn’t nearly be as surprised as he was himself. He had been sure for a while now, that this was love, that this <em>had </em>to be love, or else everything he had heard about love was a lie. But saying it out loud was a different thing and as soon as the words had left his mouth he felt as if he had somehow cemented his fate and brought something into being that had felt vague and shapeless.</p><p>“Gellert, you don’t even know what love is!”</p><p>“How do <em>you </em>know that, huh? If this isn’t love, then I don’t know <em>what </em>is. Even standing here, I feel his absence. I want to be around him every waking and sleeping minute. I’ve never met anyone I was so completely comfortable with and who I enjoy being around so much. He just <em>understands </em>me like no one else does! When I met him I realized I haven’t ever been complete before. I even saw him, Bathilda, in my visions. In a lot of them. I<em> knew</em> I would meet him, that I would love him.”</p><p>As he mentioned his visions, he noticed her looking even more worried than before and it immediately made him wish he hadn’t.</p><p>“So… do you still see him? In the future, I mean?”</p><p>Gellert nodded hesitantly, not sure if it would be used against him. “I do. I see an older Albus sometimes, much older. But I don’t see what will happen between us. I only know that he will be very powerful, even more than me, perhaps. And I know I will still love him. I sometimes see feelings, too, you know.”</p><p>Bathilda looked away from him, her gaze wandering outside through the window into the garden, and the frown on her forehead deepened. She was obviously thinking very hard, and finally she sighed as if her wits had ultimately failed her. A few times she started to speak, then gave up on it.</p><p>“What are you going to do about it, Bathilda? Forbid me to see him?”, he finally asked, almost whispering. It was true, he didn’t care about what people said, and a “moral awareness”, as Bathilda had called it, was the furthest thing from his mind. But somehow it was different with her. He did care about her judgment.</p><p>She sighed, deeply, then shook her head slightly, as if to rid herself of unpleasant thoughts.</p><p>“No. I see I was wrong about you, Gellert, and that makes it even more difficult. I thought you were just playing around, that’s the kind of person I took you for. But now I see that you’re not. What kind of person would I be if I took it on myself to make that kind of decision!”</p><p>She chuckled suddenly.</p><p>“I thought I was only imagining it, the way you two looked at each other… how fidgety you where whenever he wasn’t around, how you’d worry endlessly when he didn’t come to see you right away… from the first day, at that funeral, I was awestruck by this connection you immediately had… you looked at him in a way that I couldn’t explain back then, but now it makes sense… because you’d seen him, right? You knew you’d meet.”</p><p>Gellert nodded. “I did. And you were the one who told me I shouldn’t try to change fate.”</p><p>She shook her head again. “You’re right. Who are we to try and change fate.”</p><p>They were silent for another while and Gellert realized how tense he was, how he was still waiting for her verdict. He was aware that this was a delicate situation and it could as well still tilt the wrong way if Bathilda had a change of hearts. If she decided to send him back to his mother, everything would fall apart. Until he came of age in November, he had to play by her rules.</p><p>“Alright”, Bathilda finally said, taking a deep breath. “I think we should end this conversation here, Gellert.”</p><p>“So does that mean I can still go on and see him?”</p><p>“Honestly, Gellert, I don’t know what to say. You’re putting me in a really difficult situation here. What I want to do and what I should do are two different things. If you need my permission to continue your-- relationship-- the way it is...I won’t give it. But I know you don’t ask for permission, anyway. I just want you to know what is at stake. As you so rightly pointed out, Albus is of age and free to make his own decision. However, please keep in mind that he’s very vulnerable right now and might not be capable of deciding what is right and what is wrong. But I won’t tell you what to do or not to see him. I don’t have much of a choice anyway, knowing your aversion to rules. If I forbid you to spend the night together, you will sneak out anyway. I can’t lock you up in the house the whole day. Sending you back to your mother-- I must admit I’ve given it some thought, but I don’t think it will be a solution for any of us.</p><p>“So I guess what I’m saying is… I won’t allow it, but I won’t prevent you from doing it, either. I’ve told you all I have to say, but the decision is yours to make.”</p><p>“Sounds reasonable”, Gellert said after a moment.</p><p>“And I want us to resume our lessons again. I think it’ll be good for the two of you to take a break from each other for two hours a day, at least.”</p><p>She turned to leave the kitchen.</p><p>“Please, have breakfast, everything’s ready. I need to get some work done, if you’ll excuse me.”</p><p>“Thank you, Bathilda”, Gellert muttered quietly, still clutching his cup of tea that had almost gone cold by now.</p><p>“Oh, don’t thank me. It only reminds me what a failure I am as an authority person. And Gellert--”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“—don’t ever make me hear something like that again. I’ve known Albus since before he could hold a wand, and what I heard last night left me in terrible shame. Use some spells, by all means. Also when you’re at Albus’ place. I don’t think Aberforth and Ariana would take it too well.”</p><p>With that, she vanished, leaving Gellert behind with his thoughts. It was becoming a habit, he found; her raining down her inner dialogue on him and then leaving, without giving him clear instruction, justifying it with his alleged inability of following them. Maybe he would, he mused, if only they made <em>sense, </em>but keeping away from Albus was something he knew to be incapable of. She was right, he would have found a way despite all prohibitions.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy New Year to everyone! Hope it'll be less crazy than the last one. Then again, who knows :). Stay healthy and safe!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day was long and the minutes seemed to stretch into hours. Bathilda kept her promise to continue her lessons with him; unfortunately she had decided to teach him some potions as she thought they had “overfocused” on spells lately. She started brewing a cauldron of the Draught of Peace, which she thought could benefit him with his visions and potentially calm them down.</p><p>“Consider it an experiment”, she said as she handed him a jar containing powdered moonstone and another one with powdered porcupine quills.</p><p>After their conversation in the morning, she acted as if nothing had happened, even joked happily as they watched the potion bubble and turn into different colors, making Gellert wonder if he had only imagined the talk. He knew that wasn’t the case, of course.</p><p>It was after dinner, when the sun was already deep down in the sky when they heard a knock on the door. Gellert’s heart started pounding and Bathilda gave him a strange look when she got up and went to the door.</p><p>“Albus! How lovely to see you”, Gellert heard her voice from the hallway and got up nervously. “Please, come in.”</p><p>When Albus entered the living room, he looked tired and Gellert knew exactly why. His heart leaped when he saw his face, which lit up when their eyes met. He wondered if Bathilda lingered outside for a purpose, but he decided to seize the opportunity and pulled Albus into a hug and quickly pressed their lips together.</p><p>“You won’t believe how much I’ve missed you”, he whispered, then stepped back when he heard Bathilda approaching.</p><p>“Albus, how have you been?”, she asked innocently and Gellert had to admit she was a good actress. “I heard your aunt was visiting?”</p><p>“Thank you Bathilda, indeed. Aunt Honoria. She just left this afternoon.”</p><p>“Did you have a good time together?”</p><p>Albus shrugged. “Well, apart from the fact that she drove Ariana crazy with her eagerness to dress her up all the time… she had near-outbursts three times and we were constantly on the edge, always observing her, ready to jump in every second.”</p><p>“That sounds very stressful, my dear. Why don’t you stay a bit and sit here with us? Gellert and I spent the afternoon brewing a cauldron of the Draught of Peace, it should be done simmering by now. I think you should both have a sip, it would do you good. Gellert has been sleeping poorly, you know.”</p><p>“That sounds marvelous”, Albus said with a smile. “Thank you.”</p><p><em>So we’re leaving him entirely out of this, </em>Gellert thought to himself, wondering why he was the one to get all the scolding and the moral preaching, while Albus was pampered and offered freshly brewed Draught of Peace. He couldn’t be angry, of course, he was too happy to see Albus himself.</p><p>Bathilda vanished into the kitchen and left them sitting side by side. Gellert took Albus’ hand and happily started to interlace their fingers. Albus sighed quietly at the touch and leaned his head against his shoulder.</p><p>“It’s so peaceful here”, he whispered after a few seconds. It was indeed, Gellert had to admit, Bathilda’s living room always was; the soft jingling sounds of various magical utensils along with little squeals and murmurs from the different kind of plants placed on the bookshelves, the windows opened wide to let in the mild evening air and the golden sunlight that spread a sense of calm. Gellert felt he didn’t need any potion to achieve some peace of mind.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t let you sleep last night”, he whispered, gently stroking Albus’ hair. “Merlin knows you needed it.”</p><p>“It’s alright. I was so desperate to see you. Also today, time just wouldn’t pass.”</p><p>“Same for me”, Gellert said with a smile and kissed the top of his head. Then they heard Bathilda’s footsteps approach and parted quickly. When she entered, they were sitting next to each other decently.</p><p>“Here we go”, she said, handing them both a vial containing a liquid shimmering in turquoise blue. “It has the perfect color. I hope we didn’t do anything wrong, but in that case, the color wouldn’t be right.”</p><p>“What’s the worst that could happen?”, Gellert asked, eyeing the vial closely.</p><p>“It could induce deep sleep, potentially irreversible”, Albus answered, slightly suspicious. “It’s a very tricky potion. Bathilda, are you sure you didn’t forget the syrup of hellebore? That’s the ingredient that’s most easy to miss.”</p><p>“Of course”, Bathilda said reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’ve made this potion many times.”</p><p>“Don’t be so scared, Albus, we’re not trying to poison you”, Gellert said with a laugh and opened the vial to empty it in a single gulp. Immediately, he felt warm and cozy and all the tension seemed to leave his body. A pleasant, tingling sensation spread across his scalp and he was beginning to feel slightly drowsy, though only enough to make him relax and smile like an imbecile.</p><p>“Look at you”, Albus laughed.</p><p>“This is great!”, Gellert replied. “I’ll have this every day for breakfast and for dinner.”</p><p>Albus emptied his vial too, apparently emboldened by the fact that Gellert had not dropped down in a stupor. After a few second, Gellert saw his own silly smile reflected on his face.</p><p>“You’re feeling better, too”, he laughed. “Obviously.”</p><p>“As I thought, just what you both needed”, Bathilda said, clearly pleased with the result. Gellert wanted nothing more than to snuggle up against Albus and bury his face in his hair, but he held back. It was hard, as Bathilda knew their secret anyway.</p><p>The rest of the evening passed in a hazy pleasantness. Bathilda was all smiles, serving them different kinds of exotic sweets she had received as gifts, some of which even Gellert had never tasted before. Gellert and Albus were almost lying on the couch, both of them sinking gradually deeper and deeper as the potion worked its way through their system. They couldn’t help laughing at silly things, nor wipe the perpetual smiles off their faces.</p><p>At some point, Bathilda stifled a yawn.</p><p>“Thank you for the lovely evening, boys, but I’m afraid I need to have an early night. I desperately want to finish my current chapter tomorrow. Feel free to sit as long as you like.”</p><p>She went upstairs and Gellert couldn’t believe his luck, although he suddenly felt a hint of suspicion that she would cede the field so easily. The potion prevented him from worrying too much about it, however, and as soon as they heard her closing the door upstairs they were in each other’s arms, lost in their first heated kiss of the day.</p><p>“Gellert”, he heard Albus’ voice through the light mist clouding his mind. “Shouldn’t we go upstairs?”</p><p>“No”, he panted. He didn’t plan on going anywhere near Bathilda. Desire rose up in him, desire he had been suppressing since the night before. He pushed Albus down onto his back, straddled him and moved to kiss his throat.</p><p>“I want you”, he breathed against his pulse and earned a helpless moan from Albus’ mouth that made him sure he would be rock-hard in no time. His hand wandered down and pressed into Albus’ groin, but to his surprise he found his cock completely soft under the fabric.</p><p>“Doesn’t this excite you the least bit?”</p><p>He stopped kissing him, unable to keep the disappointment from his voice.</p><p>“What?”, Albus asked, slowly opening his eyes that he had shut in bliss.</p><p>He looked down along his body to where Gellert was fondling him and let out a small sound of surprise.</p><p>“I could’ve sworn I was hard”, he said, then grabbed Gellert’s cock in a swift movement. “But you’re not, either.”</p><p>Gellert realized he was right and huffed incredulously.</p><p>“That’s impossible! I was basically trying <em>not</em> to get hard all day when I thought about last night.”</p><p>He got off Albus and sat back up, touching his cock in disbelief. Just as Albus had said, it hung limp under his grip, despite the arousal that he was sure he had felt.</p><p>“I think it might be the potion”, Albus whispered and sat up next to him. “The Draught of Peace… it relaxes you, relieves anxiety, right? Maybe it relaxes you a bit <em>too much. </em>I already had the impression it was quite strong when I drank it. I’ve had it a couple of times at Hogwarts, they gave it to me to help me with my anxiety before exams. I’ve never felt as sluggish as today.”</p><p>Gellert suddenly realized why Bathilda had left them so readily.</p><p>
  <em>She knew this.</em>
</p><p>“Damn”, he whispered, rubbing his eyes. He felt terribly sleepy all of a sudden. “It seems like we overdid it with the moonstone powder or something.”</p><p>“It is a rather complicated potion”, Albus said.</p><p>“Then let’s go to bed. Unless you know a spell that could reverse the effects?”</p><p>Albus shook his head. “For a potion we’d need an antidote, but I doubt Bathilda has any.”</p><p>Gellert was sure she hadn’t.</p><p>“Let’s go sleep then. Can you at least stay here tonight?”</p><p>Albus nodded reluctantly.</p><p>“I think. I’ll just sneak back tomorrow morning, like I did today.”</p><p>Gellert smiled and took his hand. “Come, then.”</p><p>It was the first time they spent the night together without making love, and despite the desire that was coursing relentlessly through his veins when he held Albus’ body against him, it felt comforting and reassuring. He fell asleep spooned against him, his nose against his neck, and his only wish was to fall asleep like that every night for the rest of his life.</p><p>Albus’ plan to sneak back in the early morning didn’t work, however. When they woke up, the sun was already high in the sky and Gellert figured it must be almost noon.</p><p>“Damn it”, Albus sighed when his eyes blinked open. “Aberforth will be mad, probably.”</p><p>“Just tell him Bathilda poisoned us with some relaxing sleep potion. That’s pretty close to the truth, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Oh well. I guess it doesn’t matter, I might as well stay for breakfast. I promised that to you yesterday.”</p><p>Bathilda was already up and about and gave them a warm smile when they came down the stairs.</p><p>“Good morning, Albus! Oh dear, did you stay the night? I could’ve set up the couch for you.”</p><p>“It’s alright, Bathilda”, Albus said, returning her smile. “It wasn’t a problem, we enlarged the bed, so we had plenty of space.”</p><p>“It seems the potion was a little strong”, Gellert said casually, trying to shoot her a meaningful glance. “It kind of knocked us out, so Albus didn’t manage to go home anymore.”</p><p>“Oh dear, we might’ve used a little too much moonstone powder”, Bathilda said with perfectly feigned surprise, but refused to meet his eyes. “You boys sit down, I’ll fix you a nice breakfast.”</p><p>Shortly after they had sat down and started to eat a few bites, however, they heard a knock on the door. Bathilda went to answer it and came back with Aberforth in tow.</p><p>“Albus, there’s your brother to see you. Come in, Aberforth. Would you like a cup of tea?”</p><p>“No, thank you.”</p><p>Aberforth was looking scruffy as usual and his face showed the same irritation when his eyes fell on Gellert. With Bathilda in their vicinity, he didn’t expect him to make much of a scene, and he was right.</p><p>“Albus, there’s something we need to discuss that we couldn’t yesterday, as you basically fled the house minutes after Honoria left.”</p><p>“And what’s that?”</p><p>Aberforth lowered his voice, as if he was embarrassed to talk about it.</p><p>“Since she left us some money, I figured I could maybe go to London to get all of my things for the next school year.”</p><p>“Can’t you use mine? The books should still be the same.”</p><p>“Yes, but I need parchment, a new cloak, ingredients for Potions… and there’s something slightly wrong with my wand, I want to get it checked.”</p><p>“Fine”, Albus said. “Do you want me to come?”</p><p>Aberforth sighed, slightly annoyed. “Of course not. You’ll need to stay with Ariana. That’s the whole purpose of me asking you.”</p><p>Albus nodded as if this had occurred to him all along. “Right. Sure. No problem at all. Take as long as you need.”</p><p>“It should only be today, I’ll be back in the evening. But you’ll need to go back to the house.”</p><p>“Alright. I’ll be back soon.”</p><p>Gellert had to suppress a smile when he realized they would be rid of him for a whole day. After finishing their breakfast, Albus got up and thanked Bathilda, then turned to Gellert.</p><p>“Will you come?”</p><p>“I promised Bathilda we would resume our daily lessons. But I’ll come over once we’ve finished, I promise.”</p><p>He was loathe to leave him, even if only for two hours. Still, he stayed when Albus left, and after the door had fallen shut, he turned around.</p><p>“So what was <em>that </em>about?”</p><p>Bathilda smiled at him sweetly. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“You know exactly what I mean. After we drank your potion yesterday, we were as limp as slugs, if you’ll excuse my choice of words.”</p><p>“Oh yes, that is a common side effect of the Draught of Peace. I should’ve warned you.”</p><p>Her grin told him she had been well aware that she had not informed him, and it had been her intention.</p><p>Gellert sighed. “I guess you should have. Anyway, I trust the effects have worn off by now?”</p><p>Bathilda shrugged and the smile fell off her face. “I guess. I’m sure you’re going to find out later.”</p><p>Gellert felt his face turn red again. Why was he having these kind of conversations with his great-aunt?</p><p>“Alright, then. But no more potions today.”</p><p>“No, I had something else in mind.”</p><p>They spent two hours with History of Magic, which had never been Gellert’s favorite subject. Bathilda’s excitement, however, seemed to rub off on him, and before he even realized it, the two hours were over and she released him without any further comment.</p><p>…</p><p>Aberforth was already gone when he reached the Dumbledore house and was greeted by Ariana tinkling on the piano. She was playing a scale back and forth with both hands, and for Gellert, who had never so much as pressed a key on a piano, it sounded quite skillful already. Albus was lying on the couch, reading.</p><p>He had developed the habit of entering without knocking and both of them had obviously not heard him enter, so he cleared his throat to get their attention. Both of them spun around and the music stopped.</p><p>“Gellert!”, Ariana cried and hopped up from the stool, about to rush over to him, but then stopped in her tracks and bit her lower lip. Gellert realized they both did that, Albus and her, and for some reason it triggered in him a tenderness that pulled at his heartstrings.</p><p>“You’re back! I’d like to hug you, but I’m not allowed.”</p><p>She stated it as simply as if it was something perfectly common, not to be allowed to hug people. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes and extended his arms.</p><p>“Come here, little one.”</p><p>“But…”, she hesitantly looked at Albus who sighed and then nodded curtly.</p><p>Ariana ran over to him and threw himself into his arms, which took him by surprise and almost threw him off his feet. He hugged her tight, laughing at her enthusiasm, and couldn’t help noticing how skinny she was. Not lean, like Albus, but <em>thin,</em> the bones protruding from beneath her skin. It wasn’t visible from the outside, as her clothes were usually wide and concealed her form. Trying not to show his concern too much, he pressed her quickly against him, almost afraid to break her.</p><p>“Emotional outburst can act as triggers, too, even if the emotion is a positive one”, Albus explained, who had gotten up and walked towards them as they parted.</p><p>“Now, don’t talk about her as if she wasn’t there”, Gellert said and met his eyes with a reproaching look.</p><p>“It’s alright, they always do that”, Ariana sighed. “You should’ve heard them when Aunt Honoria was here… they were almost getting into fights about who could do what to me. She wanted to go and buy me new dresses, braid my hair and do other silly things with it; Albus mostly wanted to lock me away, and Aberforth was busy calming me down. It never occurs to them to just ask <em>me.</em>”</p><p>She didn’t sound at all alarmed by this, but told him calmly, just as she had talked about her hugging ban before.</p><p>“Well, they should. They should ask you. You’re fourteen, you should be allowed to make some decisions yourself.”</p><p>“Gellert”, Albus interrupted him and looked at him with a mixture between sadness and reproach. “We’ve talked about this.”</p><p>“See, you talk <em>about</em> me, too”, Ariana said and her smile deeply unsettled Gellert. Before he could say anything, however, Ariana went on, suddenly excited: “Can we have a picnic again, Gellert? Aberforth is gone today, so he won’t mind.”</p><p>“No, Ariana”, Albus said before Gellert could open his mouth. “You know we can’t.”</p><p>She looked so disappointed it almost broke Gellert’s heart, so he said: “Maybe we can have one in the garden?”</p><p>Albus shook his head vehemently. “That’s where she was attacked, I don’t think it’s a good idea…”</p><p>“But <em>I </em>do”, Ariana interrupted him for a firm voice. “I know it’ll be alright, Albus.”</p><p>“You see?”, Gellert said with a wink before following her into the kitchen. “You should listen to your sister more often.”</p><p>…</p><p>“You’re still doing it, you know”, Albus whispered later, when they were lying in his bed after they had spent the whole day outside. Ariana had been exhausted when Aberforth had returned in the evening, and they had sent her to bed immediately after dinner. Aberforth had not lingered, either, so they had retreated to Albus’ room and were watching the sunset through the window, the magical instruments jingling on the table, like a soft background music.</p><p>“Doing what?”, Gellert asked. He had not really touched Albus the whole day and his body was aching for it. However, he held back, as it seemed Albus wanted to have <em>a talk.</em></p><p>“You’re still not taking it seriously. With Ariana, I mean.”</p><p>Gellert sighed. “Please, Albus…”</p><p>“I’m serious! I told you how most of her kind don’t live past the age of ten. It’s not some strange part of her education, it’s a matter of life and death that she is protected. You’re putting her in danger when you take her outside. She’ll get used to it and want it all the time.”</p><p>“If she’s going to stay in this house all her life, what are you keeping her alive for?”, Gellert retorted, suddenly feeling depressed. The thought that it would go on like this forever made him feel suffocated.</p><p>The shock in Albus’ eyes made him instantly regret his choice of words.</p><p>“What are we <em>keeping her alive for</em>? Gellert, she’s my <em>sister</em>! As much as we’d like it, there is no other way for her to live! There’s just <em>no other way</em>! Should we risk her life just so she can have a little bit of fun in the garden?”</p><p>Gellert knew he had to put this right and reached for his hand, pressing it tightly.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Albus, that’s not what I meant. I love her, too, you know that. I don’t want any harm to come to her, believe me. But it makes my heart ache to see how she has to live.”</p><p>“You think mine doesn’t?”, Albus said, his voice suddenly teary again. “But we don’t have a choice, Gellert. My mother tried so hard to keep her safe. I want to honor her memory and do the same.”</p><p>He didn’t let go of his hand, though, and Gellert started stroking it tenderly.</p><p>“Maybe Ariana is different from… the others. You already said, most of them don’t live past ten. She’s already made it this far. She’s strong, Albus, stronger than you think.”</p><p>Albus wiped his eyes with a slight smile.</p><p>“I wish you were right, Gellert.”</p><p>There was something desperate in the hunger with which he kissed him, something that told Gellert he was trying make himself forget again. It felt odd to be the voice of reason for once, but he interrupted their kiss and forced Albus to open his eyes and look at him.</p><p>“Albus, are you alright? You seem frantic.”</p><p>He remembered their first time making love, and how there had been something similar in the way Albus had acted before it. Albus sighed and rested his forehead against Gellert’s.</p><p>“You’re so different, Gellert, you seem out of this world. Sometimes I don’t even know why you want me. You’re handsome, clever, bold, and incredibly good at magic. You’ll be out there in the world, seeing all its wonders some day. Maybe I’m just imagining you, maybe you’re some strange dream I keep conjuring up to rescue me from this place.”</p><p>Gellert sighed and kissed him tenderly. “You’re really wondering about why I want you? Let me tell you something, Albus Dumbledore, and please listen closely. I love you. I’ve loved you even before we met, believe me. And I will still love you decades from now. So don’t ask yourself such silly things. I’m here, flesh and bones. And you’re not going to get rid of me so soon.”</p><p>Albus’ eyes, which had flown open wide when he heard his confession, narrowed again in disbelief.</p><p>“You’re joking. How can you possibly know about decades from now? How could you love me even before we met?”</p><p>“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me yet.”</p><p>Albus nodded. “So it seems. I’ve thought about it, recently, when we were apart for those three days. We’ve been… together… for several weeks now, and still I don’t know much more than your name.”</p><p>“Maybe you wouldn’t like me anymore if you knew everything about me.”</p><p>“I don’t believe that for one second! It feels strange, though, as you’re already such a big part of my life… There are so many things about you… these strange things that you say sometimes, why you were expelled, who your parents are… you say you love me but you don’t even really let me know who you are.”</p><p>Gellert sighed. He was quite right, but he was incredibly scared of revealing these parts about himself. All these talks were tiring him, about the future, about consequences. It seemed like everyone was pushing him to <em>do </em>things, to think them through, to act. Bathilda was pressuring him about his relationship with Albus, Albus was pressuring him about Ariana and to tell him about his past. They all seemed to expect him to make decisions and to be so damn s<em>ensible. </em></p><p>“I will tell you. I promise. But first…”</p><p>He grabbed Albus’ chin and tilted his head to kiss him until they were both gasping for air.</p><p>“I’ve been wanting to do that the whole day”, Gellert whispered when they parted. “I will tell you everything about me that you want to know, Albus, but please, let me first enjoy you. I’ve gone days with only a mere taste of you.”</p><p>“Alright. So, am I allowed some enjoyment, too?”, Albus replied and Gellert was glad that the playfulness was back in his voice.</p><p>“Of course. That is my paramount concern.”</p><p>He was glad to discover that the effects of the potion had indeed worn off and it took him no time to work them both into a state of mindless arousal. They took off their clothes quickly, in a hurry to get back together as fast as possible. Albus’ hands roamed his back, pulling him close, pressing them together so tight it almost hurt. He still seemed lost somehow and trying to steady himself, but, at the same time, throw himself into some kind of frenzy. Gellert knew this by now, the way he pressed his eyes together and his movements became somewhat erratic, so far from their usual precision.</p><p>Grabbing both of his wrists, he pinned them on either side of his head and waited until his eyes opened before he kissed him again. He wanted him to be aware, to really <em>feel</em>. Albus moaned helplessly when he sucked on his throat, then moved down to his nipple, which made him arch off the bed with helpless shivers. Gellert felt his cock rock-hard against his own, the obvious evidence that their bodies were back to their normal state.</p><p>“Gellert”, Albus panted after some time, in which Gellert had let his tongue explore the landscape of his body, then licked back up a straight line from his sternum to his neck to gently bite the soft skin there. “Let me.”</p><p>He tore free his wrists and flipped them around so that he was the one straddling Gellert, then rolled his hips in a delicious movement that made Gellert bite his lips.</p><p>“Damn, the spells. We forgot them.”</p><p>His voice brought Gellert back to his senses, and he realized he was right. They were getting more and more careless, and after what had happened with Bathilda, it gave him a little scare.</p><p>Albus acted quickly, however, climbing off Gellert who immediately felt abandoned, but was back in no time after casting the spells that would keep their sounds from reaching anyone outside. When he climbed back on top of him, Gellert sighed with pleasure. It was comforting to feel his weight, his warmth, his hands that started stroking his chest. This time, Albus shifted forward so their cocks weren’t touching anymore, but before Gellert could mourn the loss, he felt himself sliding between Albus’ cheeks and the friction made him almost lose his senses.</p><p>“What are you doing?”, he muttered, feeling as if he had been Confunded, fighting the urge to just grab him and push inside. He had never felt it so strongly.</p><p>“I’ve been wondering how it feels”, Albus breathed, looking down on him with an expression that kept Gellert from closing his eyes.</p><p>Grabbing Albus’ cock and starting to stroke it, first gently, then harder, Gellert whispered: “To have someone inside you?”</p><p>Albus nodded, arching into his touch with a groan.</p><p>“It feels amazing”, Gellert panted, impossibly aroused by the sight above him.</p><p>“It did feel amazing when you… touched me there”, Albus whispered, this time without embarrassment, tilting his hips to push up into Gellert’s hand. He shifted his weight and increased the pressure on his cock, making Gellert’s mind reel.</p><p>“So… what are you saying? Do you want me inside you?”</p><p>Albus moaned and closed his eyes at the words and Gellert could tell by the way he thrust into his hand that he was as aroused by them as he himself was.</p><p>“Yes”, he breathed when he opened his eyes again. “I want to try.”</p><p>It was his words more than anything that woke something in Gellert he had only had a vague idea about before. He had always willingly given his body and never felt any shame about it, but now, he suddenly felt the primal need to <em>take, </em> to <em>claim</em>. It was new to him and excited him in an unknown way.</p><p>“Alright. But please, if there’s any point in between when you want to stop, tell me.”</p><p>“You know there won’t be.”</p><p>Their eyes locked and something unspoken passed between them, making Gellert’s heartbeat accelerate.</p><p>“Lie down”, he whispered, finally, swallowing hard. Albus suddenly looked slightly doubtful, as if he had just become aware of what he had said. Still, he climbed down from his body and did as told, sighing every so slightly as Gellert moved to caress him.</p><p>He had never expected it to be so intense and he almost lost his head when he prepared Albus with all the patience he could muster, and imagined replacing his fingers with his cock soon. Albus seemed to enjoy what he did, and he moaned deliciously as Gellert scissored him open, throwing back his hands and grabbing the sheets tight.</p><p>When Gellert finally positioned himself and began to push in slowly, their eyes locked and he had again that feeling of drowning in a bright blue sea, something he had felt before but never in this way. Albus hissed and bit his lower lip, but kept his eyes open, crying out at some point, as his grip on Gellert’s back tightened.</p><p>Gellert stopped his movements immediately. “Are you alright?”</p><p>“I guess”, Albus breathed and seemed to relax a little. “It hurts a lot more than I thought.”</p><p>“Do you want me to stop? I could use that spell that you used on me.”</p><p>Albus shook his head slightly. “No. I want to feel it the way it is. I want to feel the way <em>you </em>feel when we do it.”</p><p>“Oh, Albus”, Gellert sighed under constraint, caressing his face with one hand, while the other gripped his thigh and pushed him up for better access. “You know you can always tell me to stop, right?”</p><p>He prayed he wouldn’t, as he wasn’t sure if he would really able to pull out at that point, when everything inside him cried to push <em>in </em>and he was desperately holding back.</p><p>“No”, Albus whispered to his relief. “It’s not that bad. Go on.”</p><p>When he was finally fully inside, he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Albus closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He felt tight and firm around Gellert, but gradually seemed to ease into it a little, relieving the pressure around him that had almost hurt. Gellert sighed at the beauty of the moment, at the closeness that was almost unbearable. It was different from the times when Albus had been inside <em>him</em>, and the thought that this was something new for both of them excited him.</p><p>“You can move”, Albus said quietly after a few seconds. He looked unbelievably beautiful in the dim light of the candles, his lips moist from kissing, his eyes full of dark lust, and Gellert moved to kiss him deeply while rolling his hips for the first time. Albus gasped into his mouth.</p><p>That was the point when he gave in to the mindless desire that had been consuming him and that he had tried to control somewhat in order not to hurt Albus. His body seemed to submit to some innate knowledge, seeking friction, seeking closeness. He grabbed Albus’ hips and lifted them up with both hands for better access, making him moan with either pleasure or pain, but Gellert was beyond caring. Finally letting go and thrusting into him, he couldn’t help panting his name again and again.</p><p>“Oh Merlin, Albus, you feel so good, you have no idea…”</p><p>Albus’ body was moving together with his own, which made him think it couldn’t be too unpleasurable for him. Gellert’s mouth never left him; he kept kissing, nibbling, biting his way along his skin, leaving little red marks on his throat, his shoulders, his collarbones. When he reached down between them, he was relieved to find Albus still hard and wanting, and he wrapped his hand around him to stroke him along with his thrusts. Albus moaned against his shoulder, his breath hot and feverish.</p><p>He had planned to make Albus come like this, on his cock, but it was over too soon, the pleasure of having him like this too overwhelming to bear for a long time. When he felt Albus’ hands on his back reaching lower, signaling him to thrust harder, he lost it, and, almost out of nowhere, his orgasm hit him hard<em>, </em>making him scream out with the intensity of it. His body seemed out of control and even though he was sure to be hurting Albus, he couldn’t stop his hips from moving, pounding into him almost violently. He heard him cry out, too, but was too distracted by the feeling that made his body shake, and he emptied himself with a mind-blowing force.</p><p>When it subsided, however, the cry was the first thing on his mind, and, forcing his eyes to open, he looked at Albus, his fingers tenderly stroking his jaw.</p><p>“Are you alright? I hurt you, didn’t I?”</p><p>Albus shook his head, hugging him tightly and caressing his back.</p><p>“No. Yes. I don’t know.”</p><p>Gellert chuckled, still feeling boneless. “Now that is a definite answer.”</p><p>“It hurt a lot at first, but… somehow I got used to the pain. At some point it began to feel good, as if… the feeling was so intense my body could only translate it into pleasure.”</p><p>“I guess that’s the right way to describe it”, Gellert replied. They were still joined, Albus’ legs wrapped lazily around Gellert’s hips. Gellert had buried his nose in Albus’ hair, feeling like he could fall asleep here and now. The tenderness he felt towards him engulfed him, a feeling so delicate and vulnerable that he had never thought it to be part of sex. What was this strange mixture of wanting to protect him and, at the same time, ravage him; of not wanting to hurt him and, at the same time, <em>wanting </em>to hurt him, mark him in places where no one had ever ventured? He sighed deeply, kissing Albus’ face, and whispered into his ear: “I should just marry you, Albus.”</p><p>Albus chuckled quietly, his fingers not abandoning their slow journey across his back. He didn’t answer.</p><p>After a while, Gellert managed to heave himself up and roll on his side, breaking their connection. It was then he remember that Albus’ hadn’t reached his completion, so he tried to shake off his limpness and told him to get on all fours.</p><p>Albus did as told without saying anything and curiously glanced over his shoulder. A few days ago, he never would have offered himself like this, Gellert thought, but the act seemed to have broken some last resistance in him, and he wondered if this had been his plan all along.</p><p><em>You’re going to be mine. Mine only, </em>he thought as he pulled apart his cheeks and cleaned him gently with his wand, wiping away the traces of himself that had begun dripping out, then soothed the redness with a healing charm. Albus sighed in pleasure, his head dropping onto the pillow between his arms.</p><p>When he was finished, he began to explore him slowly with his tongue, surprised that it didn’t taste bad, but instead pretty much like nothing. It earned him a whimper of protest from Albus, before he gave himself to a quiet moan, his muscles clenching at the contact with Gellert’s tongue, then unclenching, letting him enter.</p><p>“Stop this, Gellert, please…”</p><p>“Don’t you like it?”, Gellert asked, retreating slightly, replacing his tongue with a finger, not stopping to tease him. Albus shivered.</p><p>“Isn’t it disgusting?”</p><p>“If it were disgusting I wouldn’t be doing it”, Gellert replied and went back to caressing him with his tongue, grabbing his cock from behind, and he didn’t stop until Albus fell apart beneath him, his body trembling as if hit by an invisible wave, his moans stifled by the pillow into which he pressed his face.</p><p>It was then, in the aftermath, that Albus asked him again, his fingers tracing Gellert’s skin that was still glowing from their earlier passion.</p><p>“You promised to tell me something about you. About your family.”</p><p>Gellert was silent for a moment, but then he realized there was no way around this. After all, Albus had opened up to him, had given himself to him without shame and reservation, so now it was his turn. He had not wanted this to be an exchange, but maybe that was what love was, so he decided that all the walls between them had to be broken down.</p><p>He began his tale and didn’t stop until many days later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the beginning of August, the sun still hot and blazing in the sky, the rain they were all waiting for yet absent. Instead, the words poured out of him, and he was surprised at the relief that came with it. Finally, Albus was to know the whole truth and he was almost curious about whether he would be repulsed, whether all the attraction between them would vanish when he realized who he truly was.</p><p>In between his words, he seemed to rediscover himself, find again these other parts of him that he had almost forgotten: the unloved cow herder’s son, lonely in the eerie mountain pastures, the devil’s child all the villagers had feared, the green boy who had marveled at the wonders of Berlin, the popular and inquisitive student at Durmstrang, his mother’s son, branded with her eyes, the maniac who had become obsessed with a dark curse , Mehmet’s friend, Ognyan’s lover. He wished he could erase some of them and remake himself on his own terms, only <em>become, </em>never <em>be. </em>The future was what he wanted to concentrate on; the past filled him with dread.</p><p>Still, there were moments when the future did, too. His Inner Eye, though mostly silent when he was with Albus, still terrified him, and he had not forgotten the two visions he had had recently, both equally frightening. He saw the body falling and hitting the floor repeatedly, sometimes at night, when he was alone, but the bleak vision of himself killing the Muggle man with the symbol of the Deathly Hallows bloody on his forehead never repeated itself.</p><p>And then, finally, he told Albus about the spell. He told him how he had not slept for two days and not eaten for three, he told him about the owl’s blood and the circle on the forest floor, all the while thinking that this would be <em>it, </em>that Albus would be repulsed by him in the end and decide he wasn’t the kind of person he wanted to be with, so his voice trembled slightly all the way through. When he had finished, having told Albus how he had woken up in a bed in Durmstrang, saved by his best friend but wracked by his visions, he was painfully aware of the silence that ensued between them. Albus was clearly at loss at what to say.</p><p>Gellert realized that, maybe for the first time in his life, he was truly scared of the consequences of his actions, and this crucial moment hovered above them for maybe a minute, during which he didn’t dare to move or look at Albus. It seemed to stretch into eternity.</p><p>Then, Albus spoke.</p><p>“This is… this is incredible. ‘Pythia spell’, you say? I’ve never even heard of it.”</p><p>He seemed surprised that something like this had eluded his knowledge and Gellert almost had to laugh.</p><p>“You wouldn’t. It’s not something they would teach at a school, let alone at Hogwarts.”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘let alone at Hogwarts’?”</p><p>“With your aversion to what you call ‘Dark Magic’ and all.”</p><p>“Listen, that doesn’t mean we don’t learn anything about it! They probably wouldn’t teach us how to <em>execute </em>the spell, but they could’ve at least told us that such a spell exists.”</p><p>“I don’t think many people know. Bathilda didn’t, until I told her about it. It’s very old and very hard to perform… if I wouldn’t have come across that book by chance, I probably wouldn’t know that it exists, either.”</p><p>Albus positively gasped at his statement and turned to look at him, tearing his gaze from outside of the window, where the sun was setting. The days were getting shorter already.</p><p>“You performed that spell without even knowing what it was and what it would do?”</p><p>“Well, I did, kind of… I just didn’t know what it would turn out to be. I didn’t do any research, if that’s what you mean.”</p><p>“You’re crazy, Gellert. It could’ve killed you.”</p><p>He had heard these words before, but coming from Albus in that plain and direct manner somehow made him realize, for the first time, that this was actually true. The fact that he lived to tell the story was only down to luck, nothing more. Apart from that, he felt his words hit home and it actually <em>hurt. </em></p><p>“There’s a risk in every spell, Albus”, he replied evasively.</p><p>“But not a risk this big! You know, Gellert”, his voice suddenly became quiet, as if about to say something he wasn’t sure he should, “one of my professors at Hogwarts once said… what makes a Dark Wizard is the fact that he won’t stop at nothing. Just that. I asked him about it once, I think in first or second grade. I was really curious. Some of the Dark Wizards I heard about did things that I couldn’t really discern as dark, so I wanted to know… he said just that. He said a good wizards and witches have a certain line they won’t cross. There are certain things they’re not willing to sacrifice for their own greatness.”</p><p>“And that’s why most of them are insignificant.”</p><p>Albus sighed in frustration. “So this is what it was about? Your own greatness?”</p><p>Gellert shook his head and got up from the chair he was sitting on in his room to lower himself onto the bed where Albus was almost lying, his back only supported partially by the wall. His brow was furrowed deep, so the tiny mole he had between his eyebrows had all but vanished.</p><p>“No, Albus, this isn’t about me at all! But there’s magic out there you couldn’t image, only waiting to be discovered by someone… by us. I’m not looking for greatness, but I’m not willing to let myself be constrained by these… superstitions about what is good and what is bad magic. Who decides what is good and bad anyway? It’s all in your head. It’s all subjective. You have to decide for yourself and no one can take that decision from you. <em>That’s </em>the hard work.”</p><p>Albus had begun to bite his lower lip again, obviously thinking hard. Gellert didn’t wait for his answer and just shoved down his hand into his trousers, making him gasp in surprise, his eyes widening.</p><p>“You’ve been told that <em>this </em>is bad, too, haven’t you? What made you decide to still do it?”</p><p>A small moan left Albus’ mouth and he tensed, while his flesh hardened under Gellert’s touch. He knew exactly how to touch him by now.</p><p>“That’s different”, he whispered. “We’re not hurting anyone by doing it.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re wrong”, Gellert chuckled, placing a short and soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, then pulled out his hand swiftly, leaving Albus’ cock half-hard. A flash of disappointment seemed to cross his face.</p><p>“Why do you think the Muggles lock people away for it? It used to be punishable by death here until a few decades back, Bathilda told me. Why are they so passionate about it? What do they care what we do with each other behind closed doors?”</p><p>“That’s Muggle law, though…”</p><p>“Yes, you’re right. And how many wizards would gladly apply that law for their own kind?”</p><p>Albus sighed. “Probably a few.”</p><p>“Exactly. And why do you think that is?”</p><p>“They think it’s against nature”, Albus replied with a shrug, lowering his eyes. “Because it doesn’t help to… reproduce. I think.”</p><p>“That’s what they say”, Gellert said. “But I think there’s another reason.”</p><p>“Which is?”</p><p>“Because people are afraid of their own desires. Nothing terrifies them as much. And there’s nothing more terrifying than a man who accepts them, embraces them, acts upon them. It makes them realize what they could have. It’s the same thing with magic. Imagine what a wizard can do who has no boundaries. He will be unstoppable. So what do they do? They try to constrain him. Put him in his place. Tell him all these things about morals and good or bad magic, about this supposed line we shouldn’t cross… while, all the time, there is this immense power out there that we just can tap into.”</p><p>Albus regarded him with the same mixture of fascination and apprehension he had often seen on Bathilda’s face. He seemed to waver between accepting his idea or rejecting it, but Gellert could tell it was an idea that he himself, deep down, had had before.</p><p>“What makes you think that?”, he finally said, prolonging his decision. “There must be enough great and powerful magic we can use without breaking the law. Without hurting anyone.”</p><p>“But it isn’t always that easy, is it”, Gellert replied, slowly tracing the veins that showed on the back of Albus’ hands. “What is good for some people might still hurt others. The law that is supposed to protect wizardkind and keep us safe has hurt your sister and your family. You’re broken because of it. Don’t you ever think about that?”</p><p>He found himself thinking about such things more often recently. The conversation he had had with Bathilda was still fresh in his head, as if it had been yesterday. What he had said that day had been mostly out of self-defense, but he replayed the words in his head a lot.</p><p>
  <em>Are you just going to change the world?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If that’s what it takes.</em>
</p><p>“Of course I do”, Albus said curtly.</p><p>“And yet you just sit here and mourn your mother and father, while not even questioning the whole system that destroyed your family.”</p><p>He had gone too far, he realized, when Albus pulled away his hand and starred at him furiously.</p><p>“That’s none of your business, Gellert!”</p><p>Gellert knew he had to rectify this in order for Albus not to close down on him. He took his hand gently and pressed a kiss onto his palm.</p><p>“Shh, Albus, let’s not fight. I only say these things because I care about you. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”</p><p>“I sometimes wish for a better world, too”, Albus whispered finally as an offer of peace, not pulling away his hand. “But what do you want to do about it? Toppling these systems established for hundreds of years would require a power that neither you nor I possess.”</p><p>There was something in his gaze that made Gellert think he wanted to tell him otherwise, that he was hoping for a “but”, but Gellert didn’t give it, he wanted him to come to the conclusion by himself. Instead, he kissed him with urgency, needing to feel him suddenly, to reassure him he still wanted him after his confession.</p><p>They undressed and Gellert opened his legs for him, pressed himself into his skin that smelled of sun and grass and river water. He cried out when he felt him, overwhelmed with relief that he was still there, grabbing his skin, leaving bruises.</p><p>He had passed the test.</p><p>When they were done, still not quite separated from each other yet, Albus whispered: “What other spells where in that Blood Magic book?”</p><p>“I’ve copied most of them down. I have the pages in my trunk, in case you want to have a look?”</p><p>He felt Albus tense slightly, but then he said: “Yes, I’d actually like to.”</p><p>Suddenly, something surfaced out of the depth of Gellert’s memory, the memory of writing down the spells one by one, then hesitating at one of them.</p><p>“I don’t think I’ll ever need this one.”</p><p>“The Blood Pact?” Ognyan had sounded almost disappointed. “Well, you never know. It seems like quite a potent spell to me.”</p><p>“Potent, yes, but useless. What’s the point?”</p><p>“‘The Blood Pact creates a permanent bond based on love and friendship, binding two people to one another by pouring a part of their life essence into each other’”, Ognyan had translated slowly from the book. “‘It deepens the mental connection they already share… making them able to communicate through time and space and facilitating mutual Legilimency. It makes them unable to turn on each other and harm each other with magic, and every spell cast against each other with bad intentions will be ineffective. It is a bond akin to marriage and can only be broken…”</p><p>“Alright, alright. It sounds pretty stupid to me, but I’ll write it down all the same.”</p><p>He had, in the end, copied down how to execute the spell, but not how to break it. No, suddenly, all of this came back to him and he realized he had found a use for the spell after all.</p><p>…</p><p>The days had begun blurring into each other as Gellert told Albus the rest of the story; about his days in Berlin and how his mother had brought him to Godric’s Hollow. Speaking about everything that had happened in the past made him realize, however, that he felt – trapped. He didn’t want to admit it at first, having achieved all he had wanted. After all he had met Albus, just as his visions had told him, and he certainly wasn’t complaining about that. Still, it made him feel like that had been the purpose of him coming to this place, and he was feeling more and more constricted by it. With every day that passed, he felt it more, that restlessness, that itch inside.</p><p>And with it, the visions came back.</p><p>It was like they had found a crevice to slip through and break out, as if his doubt and uneasiness provided them with fertile ground to come out and play in his mind, where Albus had previously occupied every space. First, they were only sporadic, flashes of faces and moments, some of which he had seen before. As they were becoming more frequent, there were new ones. Once, he saw a wooden house that seemed familiar, burning brightly, the flames blazing high into the sky. He saw a human skull placed on the top of his hand, which he balanced, the delicate tissue of a spent human life heavy and oppressive. Albus, who had been ever-present in his visions before he had come to Godric’s Hollow, was now strangely absent, and Gellert looked for any sign or trace of him, but found none. It made him desperate.</p><p>He tried to drown the feeling by making Albus all the more present in the Here and Now, by devouring his skin, trying to imbibe the feeling of him, digging deep and leaving his traces on his body. More than once, Albus retreated with a hiss, whispering: “You’re hurting me”. Gellert couldn’t help himself, this wasn’t only about pleasure anymore. He wanted to be marked, too, and asked Albus to take him harder, wanting the feeling to last until the next day, the soreness a steady reminder of what they had shared the night before, their union an anchor to reality. Sometimes there would be blood between his legs, which he cleaned away before Albus could see it.</p><p>One night, just before sunrise, he woke Albus by calling his name in a whisper-shout after he had been tossing and turning for hours, Albus fast asleep beside him. Sleep was beginning to elude him again, but this had been by far the worst night yet.</p><p>“What it is?”, Albus mumbled drowsily, his eyes still closed.</p><p>“Let’s leave this place soon, alright? I want you to come with me.”</p><p>Albus moaned and his eyes blinked open. “Gellert, why don’t you just sleep?”</p><p>“I’m serious”, he said, sitting up. He felt the urgency of what he had to say weighing heavily on his chest. “Come November, when I’m of age, I want to leave Godric’s Hollow. I won’t have to stay with Bathilda anymore. Will you come with me? Don’t say you have to stay because of Ariana. We’ll find a way, I know we will. We’ll take her along. We’ll…”</p><p>“Gellert”, Albus interrupted him, sitting up next to him. In the near darkness his eyes weren’t visible in their usual, brilliant blue, but showed a dark, all-engulfing tenderness. He stroke a stray strand of hair from Gellert’s forehead. “Please, it’s the middle of the night. Come back to sleep.”</p><p>“I can’t stay here forever, you know.”</p><p>“I know”, Albus replied quietly, but instead of saying anything else, he kissed Gellert gently on his lips, then rested their foreheads against each other, their breaths intermingling. They stayed like that for a while and, not for the first time, but clearer than ever before, Gellert felt something looming about them, something he didn’t know how to describe.</p><p>“Something is going to happen”, he whispered finally. “I have this vision constantly… I’ve had this before… seeing something horrible and then it finally happening.”</p><p>Suddenly, he fell silent. He had not told Albus about the visions of his mother’s death.</p><p>“Gellert, please, you’re all worked up. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, alright? You need to get some sleep. Have you slept at all?”</p><p>Again, the tenderness took him off-guard and released inside of him a sudden urge to cry. What if this was what his life would be like? Him alone with these crazy visions that no one was able to understand? He didn’t know what is was that he was seeing, but something told him that it was the gateway to this terrifying, Albus-less future he kept seeing, of him killing a man in cold blood without even flinching.</p><p>“Do you love me?”, he suddenly asked. He had no idea where the question came from, but he suddenly needed to know, and upon asking, realized Albus had never said it before. It seemed like his life depended on the answer, but it didn’t come right away.</p><p>Albus, being Albus, knew that this was important, so he took his time, biting his lower lip. Then the answer came, shaky, but unmistakable.</p><p>“I do, Gellert. I love you.”</p><p>He almost let out a cry of relief.</p><p>“And do you want to be with me?”</p><p>He wasn’t sure why he was so keen on drawing out these confessions in the middle of the night, but they were all he had been thinking about during this long, sleepless hours, until they had become crucial to everything, the pillars upon which his very world rested.</p><p>Did Albus love him?</p><p>Did he want to be with him?</p><p>“I want to. Of course I want to. But it’s not only about what I want. It won’t be easy, us being together.”</p><p>Gellert silenced him with a kiss, a slight smile around his lips. “That’s all I need to hear. If you want to, if you <em>really </em>want to, we’ll figure something out.”</p><p>Albus seemed happy he was finally ready to abandon the issue, but still, his brow was deeply furrowed when they lay back down. He pulled Gellert against him and wrapped his arms around him tight.</p><p>“You seem to be thinking a lot these past few days”, he mumbled when they had settled into a comfortable embrace.</p><p>Gellert kept his eyes closed and felt Albus’ hands stroking his back. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but he kept quiet, listening to Albus breath quieting down until he knew he was asleep.</p><p>…</p><p>Albus was clearly the thinker between the two of them, and sometimes it drove Gellert insane how he always needed to ponder every detail, how he needed a moral basis for every little thing he did. When Gellert fantasized about the world they would create, he was suddenly lost in thoughts, apparently pondering some important question, and he wouldn’t really surface until late into the evening, when Gellert undressed him underneath the cherry tree where they had first kissed. He would write him letters deep into the night, if they didn’t spend it together, taking apart every thesis Gellert had spent the better part of the day convincing him of. Unlike Gellert, he would always think first, never just do. When Gellert imaged a new world without the Statute of Secrecy, the Muggles under their heel, Albus acted appalled, but then, after a lot of lower-lip-biting, came up with the concept of the Greater Good, delivered to Gellert in the form of a late-night letter again.</p><p>Gellert liked the idea, not because he needed it as a justification, but because he was sure it would convince many skeptics, who, just like Albus, needed absolution for everything they considered evil. It made sense, he thought, to consider oneself an instrument of something higher, a mere tool of some grander purpose that he himself derided. However, he let Albus sort out his doubts, for in the end, he always seemed to find a solution that was in accordance with Gellert’s ideas, a sound foundation for his fantasies born in a frenzy.</p><p>When it came to their bodily pleasures, Albus had either turned a blind eye on his ideas of morality, or he was justifying it the way he had once done, that they weren’t “hurting” anyone with it. Gellert marveled frequently at the way he had opened up since the first time he had let Gellert enter him, the last barrier tumbled down, releasing all the passion and lust that had piled up, probably for years, and finally meeting Gellert’s desire with equal hunger. There was nothing between them now, only the need to get closer, melt into each other, and the tenderness and affection they only seemed to be able to really show each other in this way. Only in these moments when Albus was soft and filled with calm after orgasm would he promise Gellert everything, to come away with him, to leave Godric’s Hollow, to remake the world.</p><p>“I love you”, he would whisper in those moments, and only then.</p><p>Both Bathilda and Aberforth seemed to have settled on the tactics of ignoring them, ignoring them <em>together, </em>even though Gellert was never sure what Aberforth knew or suspected. When he left the house, Bathilda would only ask him if he would be back for dinner or spend the night at Albus’ place. Aberforth would negotiate his free time and just sigh in annoyance when Albus asked him to stay with Ariana yet another afternoon, while he stole off with Gellert to wander around the area surrounding Godric’s Hollow, walking across the dried-out countryside and fantasizing about what they could or could not do if they had the Deathly Hallows. They would often end up under the cherry tree, where they performed a concealment charm and explored each other’s bodies in the bright summer sun, which was a welcome change from the usual late-night groping only illuminated by candle light. Because of the heat, not many people seemed to venture out during midday, and they would mostly have the place all to themselves. Lying on the burnt grass, they would enjoy the shade of the tree, which, being a tree, had roots reaching down deep below the ground and didn’t suffer from the drought.</p><p>So the days went by, and their serenity stood in sharp contrast to the restlessness of the nights.</p><p>One afternoon they spent in Gellert’s room, the heat too oppressive for any kind of physical activity. Gellert finally rummaged in his suitcase that he had put into a corner after arriving, and never opened since. He had put all his clothes and other few possessions into the cupboard or on the shelf, only a few things he wanted to keep hidden had remained. He pulled out some pieces of parchment with scribbled notes on them, and handed them to Albus.</p><p>“What’s that?”, he asked.</p><p>“It’s the content that I copied from Professor Draganov’s book. Have a look, if you want.”</p><p>Albus hesitated shortly before taking the pages, and Gellert sat down next to him while he started leafing through them.</p><p>“They’re all in German”, he finally said.</p><p>“Oh, right. Then I’ll translate them for you.”</p><p>Gellert had almost forgotten he had once spoken other languages than English, as the language had become so familiar in the last couple of months. He had come to love it as Albus’ language, and often found himself wanting to drink in the words that sounded so wonderful from his lips.</p><p>Now, pronouncing the syllables felt almost foreign to him, and the grammatical structures seemed strange. Albus listened with fascination.</p><p>“You sound so different when you speak German”, he said at some point. “Your voice becomes somehow deeper and you sound more… serious."</p><p>“Serious? Me?”, Gellert laughed. “You’re the serious one! Maybe <em>you </em>should be speaking German.”</p><p>Albus chuckled. “I’ve never studied any foreign language. I don’t think I have a knack for it.”</p><p>“Rubbish! If you’re so good at memorizing spells, why not vocabulary?”</p><p>Albus sounded slightly embarrassed when he said: “I haven’t even traveled abroad!”</p><p>Gellert kissed him gently. “Oh, but you will. <em>We </em>will. I won’t spend my time being your interpreter!”</p><p>“Honestly, what are translation charms for?”</p><p>“Translation charms are only as good as the wizard who casts them. If you’re bad at languages, your translation charm will most likely do a poor job. It just reflects your knowledge about languages in general, you know.”</p><p>“Is that so? I’ve never cast one.”</p><p>“What?”, Gellert replied with genuine surprise. “Seems like we found the one thing you’re not actually good at!”</p><p>Albus rolled his eyes. “Just tell me what’s written here, alright?”</p><p>Gellert looked at him with a provoking smile before he took back the pages. “As you wish.”</p><p>They started looking through them and Gellert did his best to translate all the spells until they reached the one that made his heart beat faster. Suddenly it seemed ridiculous that he had neglected it so much back then, that it had seemed to irrelevant. He had not known what love was, had thought it to be a foreign and strange feeling that he would probably never experience. Now, however, the notion of binding oneself to someone for life, with body, heart, and soul, seemed to make perfect sense.</p><p>Albus’ eyes seemed to widen when he read out the spell, but he didn’t say anything and was clearly ready for Gellert to move to the next one. Gellert, however, didn’t.</p><p>“What do you think?”, he asked casually before dropping the page on the bed, like all the other pages they had read through.</p><p>“About what?” Albus also sounded casual, but Gellert knew him well enough by now to realize he wasn’t at all. Something slightly nervous had crept into his voice.</p><p>“The spell. The Blood Pact.”</p><p>“What do you want me to think about it?”</p><p>Gellert sighed. “This isn’t about what I w<em>ant</em> you to think about it. This is about what you<em> think</em> about it.”</p><p>Albus hesitated for a moment, then he said tentatively: “I think it’s… a potentially dangerous spell. A very serious one. Like the one you did. Like all the spells in the book. And like for all the other spells, I think it’s hard to tell all the consequences beforehand. What you’re r<em>eally</em> getting yourself into.”</p><p>He paused for a moment and his eyes found Gellert’s, his gaze unusually tender. “But at the same time it is somehow… really romantic.”</p><p>Gellert’s heart paused for a moment. He was almost scared to asked what he did next, but he knew he had to do it, otherwise he wouldn’t be at peace.</p><p>“Have you ever thought of trying out Blood Magic?”</p><p>Albus’ eyes went wide and he withdrew his hand that Gellert had grabbed.</p><p>“Are you insane? I mean… you obviously are, since you’ve done it once… but… haven’t you learned from everything that went wrong?”</p><p>“I have!”, Gellert exclaimed, taking his hand again. “I know that there are risks involved, that it is not something to be taken lightly. But when I cast the Pythia spell, or rather, let my friend cast it for me, I was only thinking about myself and my own gain. It was a mistake, I know that now. But this spell, I feel it’s different. It’s completely selfless. You give a part of yourself, your life’s essence to that other person. What could be more selfless than that!”</p><p>“But you also take a part of the other person. It’s an exchange. Nothing selfless about it, in my opinion.”</p><p>Once again, Gellert cursed Albus and his way of always seeing things from a different angle. His reluctance to be convinced. Him having his own mind. He wasn’t an easy target, like Ognyan had been. However, this was the reason why Gellert wanted him with an uncontrollable passion.</p><p>“Still, it’s an act of love.”</p><p>“It’s an act of binding yourself to someone else. And binding him to you. Shouldn’t love be exchanged freely? Why would you need a pact for it?”</p><p>“So is marriage! Why would anyone feel the need to make a vow if love should just be given without attachment, without conditions?”</p><p>Albus sighed and looked away, biting his lower lip.</p><p>“So you want to do that Blood Pact with me, is that it?”, he asked finally.</p><p>Gellert seriously thought about laughing the whole thing off, telling him that it had been a joke, because how would he make a second attempt at Blood Magic when the first had gone so utterly wrong?</p><p>Instead, he nodded, dead serious.</p><p>“Blood Magic is powerful and terrible. It has the power of moving people’s lives. I know I should regret what I did to myself that night… but somehow I can’t bring myself to. Somehow, it made me who I am. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here, with you.”</p><p>Albus looked at him and the curiosity he often showed with Gellert had appeared on his face.</p><p>“I already said that I want to marry you”, Gellert went on. “But, given the world we live in, I know that I can’t. This is as close as we can can get to it, maybe. Though maybe, this is even more. A marriage in magic. A marriage of body, mind, and soul. I wouldn’t hesitate to do this pact with you, even though I’ve experienced the power of Blood Magic.”</p><p>He couldn’t read Albus’ mind at that moment, but he could see it racing. After a moment, he suddenly laughed.</p><p>“Facilitates mutual Legilimency, you said? That alone might be worth it. I sometimes would love to see what’s going on in that head of yours.”</p><p>“And I would bare it all for you”, Gellert said seriously.</p><p>“You are reckless. You really know no boundaries. This spell probably isn’t even legal, is it? No, it certainly isn’t. But probably”, he added, lost in thought, “this is what I love so much about you, Gellert.”</p><p>He looked at him again and his gaze softened. Gellert smiled.</p><p>“I’m sure you do. It’s my most endearing trait.”</p><p>“Let me think about it”, Albus said after a moment of staring at the page, as if it held some important answers for him. Gellert pressed his hand, then kissed him tenderly. He couldn’t believe his luck.</p><p>“As long as you want.”</p><p>They got lost in their kisses, in their touch, and when Gellert pushed inside Albus he somehow knew he had him, the way he cried out told him he had already given in. An unknown thrill took them to heights they both had not experienced before, the prospect of becoming one in yet another way. They were already joined physically, but the barrier between their minds remained, and Gellert longed to break it. He knew Albus’ body so well by now, having studied every part of it meticulously for hours on end. It sometimes felt like an extension of his own, and whenever Albus felt pleasure, he felt it too. His climax felt like his own and a part of his brain seemed to react to Albus’ flushed face contorting in ecstasy, the sound falling from his lips, Gellert’s name in a cry. He couldn’t hold back and the sheer fact of Albus' pleasure always made him come, too.</p><p>When they were done he also knew what Albus wanted; he took away his mind from thoughts and realization and just cradled him in his arms until his breathing had slowed down. He loved to inhale his scent in those moments, to press his lips against his temple, whisper his name and see the smile that it produced. The thought that he had opened Albus up in this way so he could enjoy his body like that made him glad and somehow proud.</p><p>“Tell me about the person you did it with. At Durmstrang.”</p><p>Gellert was taken by surprise by Albus’ request and looked down at him. Albus was resting with the back of his head on Gellert’s stomach, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular.</p><p>“Why do you want to know all of the sudden?”</p><p>“I’ve been wanting to know for a while. It just felt uncomfortable to ask. I know you’ve been keeping some things from me, there were parts that you left out when you told me about your past. But if we’re to be bound by some ancient Blood Magic, don’t you think I have the right to know?”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t help but smile. “So you really want to do it?”</p><p>“I haven’t said that. I only want to know what I would get myself into.”</p><p>“And you would know that if you knew about the first boy I did it with? Haven’t I told you enough about me already?”</p><p>“So, it was a boy?”</p><p>Gellert sighed and rolled his eyes. “It was. But you shouldn’t worry about him. He wasn’t important. Well, he was, but not because I slept with him.”</p><p>Albus seemed to ignore all he had said but the first part.</p><p>“Was it only him? Or were there others?”</p><p>“No, only him. And, like I said, it wasn’t important.”</p><p>“Why did you do it, then?”</p><p>“I was curious, I guess. And I needed his help.”</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“To translate the very book we were reading.”</p><p>Albus was silent for a moment, then he whispered: “Only that?”</p><p>Gellert wasn’t sure whether it was wise to tell him, but he decided to try. “He helped me to execute the Pythia spell. Actually, he was the one who cast it. Without him, it wouldn’t have been possible.”</p><p>“I see”, Albus replied slowly. “So it was him you slept with. Because you needed him. Just as you need me for this next spell? This next experiment of yours?”</p><p>“Albus”, Gellert said and gave him a pleading look. “You know this is different. How could you even compare the two of you? I would never have bound myself to him in that way. Nor do I want to bind myself to you to try out some spell because I find it interesting. It’s the other way round-- I want to do the spell <em>because </em>I want to bind myself to you. I need the power of Blood Magic because I don’t ever want to be separated from you.”</p><p>Albus was still looking elsewhere, his eyes full of doubt, and Gellert lifted his chin with his finger to make him meet his eyes.</p><p>“Look at me. Do you really think I am staging all of this just to get you to do some Blood Pact with me? Is that what you think? Listen, Albus, if you’re uncertain, if you don’t want to do it, it’s fine. We’ll just leave it. That’s better than having you think so lowly of me.”</p><p>Albus sighed, but didn’t look away. “I don’t know what to think sometimes. You’re driving me insane, Gellert, it’s like I’m under some spell already. And I see how easily you get people to do your bidding, including me. So many things that I’ve done because of you were against my better judgment. And I never went against my judgment before, you know. My brother says you’re playing me. Is he right?”</p><p>Gellert snorted in disgust and dropped his fingers from Albus’ face. “Aberforth? I can’t believe he said that. Are you listening to him now?”</p><p>“I’m not, as you well know. But maybe I should.”</p><p>He felt a pang in his heart at Albus’ words. He had thought they were together in this, that Albus felt it just the same as him-- this overwhelming need to be close to one another. But maybe, the thought crept into his mind, it was just the opposite. Maybe <em>he </em>was Albus’ experiment, his flirtation with the vast outer world of forbidden things he would never truly enter.</p><p>“Well then”, he replied curtly. “Maybe you should. I can see you’re not ready for this. Tell me if you change your mind. Now, I think it’s time for my lesson with Bathilda soon.”</p><p>Albus took the hint, but there was honest regret written on his face.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll see you later then. Please, don’t be mad. Let’s talk about it next time, alright?”</p><p>Gellert only nodded, but didn’t look at him when he left the room. He waited for Albus to leave and listened to him exchange a few courtesies with Bathilda on his way out, then he took some of the loose pages scattered around his bed and threw them into the air in a fit of rage. But, despite the force he had used, they defied gravity and floated weightlessly in the room for a moment, then, slowly and gently, lowered themselves to the floor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was later that day when Gellert heard the noise of something scratching against the glass of his window. He was sitting at his desk, trying to read, but finding it impossible to concentrate. His mind was still excessively fixed on his conversation with Albus earlier. Even though his anger had subsided, he couldn’t deny that a dull feeling remained that resembled hurt; as much as he tried to get rid of it, it was stuck in his body, like a splinter in his finger that got irritated whenever he brushed against it.</p><p>He stood up as he heard the noise and was greeted by a sight familiar but almost forgotten: it was Horoz, Mehmet’s hawk, and Gellert opened the window with excitement. It had been weeks since he had sent Honoria to deliver his letter without receiving a reply; she had returned after several days without a reply in her claws. Gellert had not had much time to dwell on the question why Mehmet had not answered yet; he had just assumed there would be reasons. Now, however, he realized how much he had, deep down, anticipated his friend’s reply.</p><p>After he had gotten some owl snacks and water for Horoz, Gellert opened the letter with a beating heart and immediately recognized his friend’s energetic handwriting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Gellert, </em>
  <span>it read.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>I am very sorry for not replying earlier to your letter, which has moved me deeply in many ways. I cannot give you a clear reason for the delay, but the closest thing to the truth is, probably, that I am at loss for words. You, my friend, in love! But I will get to that later. First of all, let me say how glad I am that your great-aunt received you well and is taking good care of you. Family is always a blessing and as you’re not blessed with a very big one, I’m glad it has slightly expanded. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Here the days are passing by without distractions, just one hot day after another and my mother’s cooking. It won’t be much longer, however, since the holidays are slowly nearing their end, and at the beginning of September I will have to go back to Bulgaria. I have already mentioned how much your presence will be missed, dear Gellert.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But enough of my ramblings, as I am sure you’ll want to know my thoughts about the wonderful news you’ve shared in your last letter. Forgive me if I find it hard to believe you have found a person you’re in love with, and, this being slightly more incredible, who is better at magic than you. I would very much like to meet this genius and I hope fate holds this in store for us. I cannot even begin to imagine what the two of you will achieve together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alas, my friend, I am terribly curious and I would like you to tell me more about this person who has managed to conquer your heart! Please, share with me all that you wish, but know that every piece of information will be cherished. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There is one thing I have to get off my chest, however, even if this time it is me who risks sounding presumptuous for giving you advice. </em>
  <em>I have known you for many years and I pride myself for being one of your friends who knows you best. During all those years I have </em>
  <em>experienced</em>
  <em> your pursuits being short-lived and passionate. Once something struck your interest, you would pursue it relentlessly, until you fixed your eyes on something else. This pattern would repeat itself over and over </em>
  <em>again,</em>
  <em> the latest occasion being the episode that finally got you expelled. Other endeavors, albeit not having the same disastrous outcome, would still get you into trouble. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>E</em>
  <em>ven though this might sound like criticism, I have always admired this trait of yours. Your passion and devotion to things that seem important to you are probably what make you the outstanding wizard that you are. </em>
  <em>However, I know that they can make you abandon all reason at times, and leave you with nothing to guide you in a rational manner. So, knowing you, my friend, I can imagine this new infatuation of yours could be of the same, hot-headed nature and I fear that the all-consuming fire that you feel will be short lived </em>
  <em>if you don’t tend to its flames. I don’t pretend to be an expert of love, but I know it needs patience and endurance, and as I know both are not your forte, I urge you to work on yourself in this aspect. </em>
  <em>Give these ma</em>
  <em>tters the</em>
  <em> time they deserve, and don’t </em>
  <em>try to </em>
  <em>rush them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But maybe now, as you can see into the future, your ability to see what there is to come will make you more patient and </em>
  <em>persistent. Unless (and that would be foolish) you</em>
  <em> would</em>
  <em> try to change what you see. I know how much you dislike being lectured, but I would be honored if you would take my advice. If not, please do not let this create resentment between us. Like I said before, I am overjoyed at the news and I hope your future is bright, dear Gellert.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I </em>
  <em>would love to have </em>
  <em>hour long conversations with you about this topic instead of cramming it all into a letter. As for now, I have no other choice, but I hope to see you face to face again and share our thoughts. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stay safe, my friend, and please don’t follow my example in taking as long in replying as I did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mehmet. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gellert felt a rush of blood to his head as he put down the letter and watched Horoz gulp down the fake raw mice with appetite. Of all the reactions he had expected from his friend, this wasn’t one of them, </span>
  <span>even though</span>
  <span>, he realized, he should have. After all, this was what he seemed to be hearing from everyone. Everyone was urging him to hold back, to control his passions, to take things slow. </span>
  <span>Why didn’t they see this was not an option? Did they not know, as he did, how easily things spun out of control, how they changed within the blink of an eye? One moment of happiness would quickly be overwritten by great tragedy. The only way to act was fast, before the next change would occur. The Sight, despite what Mehmet thought, only proved this. He saw things no one would expect or think possible, and he could only </span>
  <span>try to </span>
  <span>fathom the twisted turns of events that would lead to this outcome. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magic was the only order in this whole chaos of the forces of good and bad that seemed to chase each other back and forth. Only magic provided balance and stability, and Gellert knew that despite of what he felt for Albus, and what he might feel for him, there was no natural way to make their bound permanent. </span>
  <span>Only magic could perpetuate their connection, and now that he had found a way to do that, it was hard to hold back and tell himself that things would go the way they were meant to.</span>
</p><p>Because, in the end, they just never did.</p><p>…</p><p>During the following three days, the atmosphere between them was awkward. Gellert had the impression that Albus was avoiding talking in general; instead, he seemed to be eager to get into bed with him at every opportunity. Gellert knew this was a diversionary tactic do distract their attention from other issues, but still he gave in willingly, not wanting to miss an opportunity of touching Albus in any indecent way possible.</p><p>
  <span>Even their usual, post-orgasmic chatter was limited to </span>
  <span>few half-hearted exchanges, adding to the feeling that something had gone awry between them. </span>
</p><p><span>The third day, Gellert felt he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t object when Albus led him to his room immediately, straight past Ariana who threw a casual “hello” at him when they passed her in the living room. Neither did he when Albus pushed him down on the bed, t</span><span>ook</span><span> off both of their clothes and rode him like he was born for it, although it was the first time he had ever done it. Gellert had never thought that at the sight of Albus on top of him, his eyes shut in pleasure, his mouth open and panting, his skin glistering </span><span>under</span><span> a thin layer of sweat, he would feel the desperate urge to push him off and get him to tell him what the hell was wrong. However, he still savored the spectacle, his hands digging deep into Albus’ hipbones,</span> <span>the room fill</span><span>ed</span><span> with both of their cries, until Gellert felt his body shudder with a sudden bout of pleasure. His orgasm hit him unexpectedly, but suddenly everything felt so good, so sweet, so </span><em>perfect, </em><span>that he felt a</span><span>n almost overwhelming</span><span> urge to cry. </span></p><p>
  <span>Despite his blurry vision</span>
  <span>, he saw that Albus was still hard when he climbed off him. </span>
  <span>After a few moments of catching his breath, he turned to him and wrapped his fingers around his cock, s</span>
  <span>ince</span>
  <span> this was what he probably expected. The moan Albus gifted him with was beautiful and almost enough to make him hard again in an instant, but he immediately felt he couldn’t do this and stopped his movements. </span>
</p><p>“<span>What’s wrong?”, Albus asked and raised his head that had </span><span>fallen</span><span> back on the pillow.</span></p><p>“I could ask you the same question. We need to talk.”</p><p>“<span>Do we have to talk </span><em>now</em><span>?”, Albus whined and pushed up his hips to get some friction, but Gellert withdrew his hand.</span></p><p>“<span>As this is probably the only moment that I have your full attention”, he said soberly, sitting up, “I don’t see any other option. </span><span>It seems you’re avoiding any conversation lately.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Albus sighed a</span>
  <span>n</span>
  <span>d dropped his head again. </span>
</p><p>“<span>So </span><span>what is it that you want to talk about?”</span></p><p>“<span>Wh</span><span>y are you acting so strange right now? I can’t say I’m not flattered that you suddenly don’t seem to get enough of me. And I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this right now. But the reason I enjoy being with you isn’t only </span><em>that</em><span>. </span><span>It’s because I like to </span><em>be </em><span>with you, to exchange thoughts and ideas. So as long as you shut yourself off like this, I can’t really enjoy us being together as I used to.”</span></p><p>Albus was silent for a moment, staring at the ceiling. Gellert had dropped his chin onto Albus’ stomach, his breath brushing against his pale skin while he spoke.</p><p>“<span>You’re right”, Albus finally said. “I </span><span>might be acting strange. Just what you asked of me the other day… kind of took me off guard. </span><span>And now I don’t know what to do.”</span></p><p>“<span>Albus, I already told you, if it makes you uncomfortable, if you don’t want to do it, then we’ll just leave it. </span><span>It’s not that important”, Gellert lied.</span></p><p>“<span>It’s not that. If I didn’t want it, it would all be easy. But the truth is, I </span><em>do </em><span>want it. It seems so tempting. The thought of being with you… </span><em>forever…</em> <span>but at the same time, my head tells me something else. That it’s foolish and dangerous. That my life is </span><span>enough of a mess</span><span> without adding Blood Magic to it. So here I am, stuck between wanting and not wanting.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Gellert heart fluttered at his words. So this was the reason-- Albus’ head interfering with his heart again. A sudden rush of tenderness over</span>
  <span>came</span>
  <span> him as he realized he had misread the situation all along. </span>
  <span>In the end, Albus was upset because of the same reason he always withdrew from Gellert. He had discovered some desire he was fighting against, but Gellert knew him well enough by now to </span>
  <span>know that finally, he would give in. </span>
</p><p>“So what is it that scares you so?”, he asked softly, while stroking the thin line of auburn hair below Albus’ navel. “The Legilimency part? You can still use Occlumency to shut off your mind, I guess. Do you not trust me?”</p><p>Albus swallowed and was silent for a minute.</p><p>“It’s none of the things written on the paper that scare me. It’s the things that are not written. Many books are not very clear on the details, and there’s always a small bit that every wizard has to figure out for themselves. That’s what we need teachers for. Otherwise we could just teach us magic ourselves from some books. In this case, if something goes wrong, it could have serious consequences. If she spell’s not what we imagined...”</p><p>Gellert couldn’t help but smile. This was the old Albus all over again, back with his doubts and fears. He was well aware that he would probably never be fully rid of him, but he had the feeling he was slowly getting to know him better, and beginning to get an idea how to steer him into the direction he wanted.</p><p>“We’re both very able wizards, Albus. It won’t go wrong. We will be in this together, you and me. I think the most dangerous things could only happen if one of the participants isn’t serious enough. It states that at the very beginning. ‘Both mages binding themselves with the Blood Pact must be absolutely certain of their mutual feeling of affection. Should one of them waver and serious doubts arise during the course of the spell, it will at best not work and at worst do serious harm, not only of the physical kind.’ Something like that. So there you have the risks. We both have to be absolutely sure. If you’re not, I won’t risk doing that spell with you, because I don’t fancy having my head blown off.”</p><p>Albus chuckled and his stomach vibrated slightly. His right hand began playing with Gellert’s hair.</p><p>“<span>I wonder what it would feel like”, </span><span>he said quietly, as if barely dar</span><span>ing</span><span> to utter the words.</span></p><p>“I guess it will probably be like making love. Not with your body, but with your mind.”</p><p>Gellert slightly bit the soft skin of his belly when Albus chuckled again. “That’s your theory, then?”</p><p>“Why don’t we find out?”</p><p>When Albus looked at him, there was still doubt in his eyes, but clear excitement as well. Gellert decided to leave the matter alone for a bit, as he felt he had pushed Albus into the right direction. Instead, he crawled up to kiss him deeply and to finally give him what he had denied him earlier.</p><p>“Come”, he whispered against Albus’ lips. “You haven’t finished.”</p><p>He pulled him on top of him and if he’d had any doubts he would get hard again, they vanished within seconds when he felt Albus against him, his hands wandering down, fingers pushing gently into him. For once, Gellert was fine with all the gentleness, as he felt this was what Albus needed right now. He offered his body as a reassurance that all would be well once they gave themselves to each other, pushing down the feeble boundaries that still existed between them.</p><p>…</p><p>The second round left them exhausted, and even though it was still in the early afternoon, they drifted off to sleep, their limbs entangled, a thin blanket wrapped carelessly around their most private parts. Gellert felt Albus’ body twitch slightly as he passed into the dream world, until his own head filled with what he felt could be visions, as they were more tangible than usual dreams, but less so than reality.</p><p>
  <span>For a moment he thought it a vision, too, when the door suddenly burst open, jolting them both awake </span>
  <span>in an instant. It took him a while to understand that it was Ariana standing in front of them, but Albus seemed to have realized a lot quicker.</span>
</p><p>“<span>Ariana! Do you ever </span><em>knock</em><span>?”</span></p><p>Ariana didn’t seem the slightest bit deterred by sight of them naked in bed next to each other, instead, worry and agitation was written plainly across her face.</p><p>“<span>Albus, I’m sorry, but you have to come! Someone just knocked on the door… </span><span>Apparently, </span><span>Aberforth got into a fight with someone, and they can’t get him to calm down! The boy who came to tell us seemed to be quite frightened himself, </span><span>said if they go on he will likely kill him!</span><span> Please, will you go get him?”</span></p><p>Albus sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying very hard to stay calm, as Gellert could tell.</p><p>“Alright, I’ll come down. Please, just give us a moment.”</p><p>
  <span>It was then that Gellert remembered how they had certainly sealed the door, which meant it could still be opened with magic, but not with p</span>
  <span>hysical</span>
  <span> force. He recalled the words Ariana had once said that he had all but forgotten: </span>
  <em>Magic doesn’t always work on me. </em>
</p><p>Ariana nodded in relief and left the room without so much as a blush on her face.</p><p>“Merlin”, Albus exclaimed and jumped out of the bed as soon as the door had closed. “I can’t believe my sister saw us like this! What am I going to tell her after I get Aberforth?”</p><p>“<span>You should worry about your brother first”, Gellert said, sitting back and watching Albus get dressed quickly. “Haven’t you seen how she just strode in despite the spells we put on the door? I tell you, she knows. Probably the silencing spells affect her just as much. She’s most likely heard us more than once, her room being right next to yours.”</span></p><p>Albus looked at him in distress.</p><p>“Damn it, you’re right! For a moment I thought we forgot to cast the spells, but now that I think about it, I’m dead sure we did.”</p><p>He sighed and raked one hand through his hair.</p><p>“Anyway, I have to hurry. We’ll worry about this later. Can you please get dressed and stay with Ariana? She seemed a bit worked up.”</p><p>
  <span>Gellert nodded and got up to </span>
  <span>pick up his clothes</span>
  <span> as well </span>
  <span>after Albus had Disapparated from the room</span>
  <span>. When Gellert came down into the living room, Ariana was sitting there as expected. </span>
  <span>She was clutching her hands nervously and a </span>
  <span>flicker of relief crossed her face when she saw him.</span>
</p><p>“<span>He</span><span>llo</span><span> there, little one”, he said, </span><span>approaching her cautiously. </span></p><p>She only smiled feebly as he sat down next to her, but she was obviously still agitated.</p><p>“Don’t worry, it will be alright”, Gellert said and put a hand gently on her shoulder.</p><p>“I hope so. Aberforth can get terribly angry sometimes.”</p><p>They were silent for a moment and Gellert removed his hand. Ariana continued to wring her hands without looking up.</p><p>“I’m sorry I burst in on you like that”, she said after a while. “But I didn’t know what to do!”</p><p>“<span>It’s alright”, Gellert said, scrutinizing her. She still didn’t show any signs of surprise about what she had seen. “</span><span>But Albus will probably want to talk to you about it later.”</span></p><p>Ariana huffed in annoyance. “I bet he will. As if I’m a little girl who doesn’t know anything.”</p><p>“So”, Gellert replied carefully, “what do you know, then?”</p><p>She finally looked up and rolled her eyes.</p><p>“<span>Don’t act as if I’m stupid, too, Gellert. I know what you do behind closed doors. </span><span>It made me wish more than once that I could do magic and just close off my ears with some spell. Instead, I had to use my pillow, and believe me, it’s not soundproof at all.”</span></p><p>Gellert wondered again how it could happen that their silencing spells had simply not had any effect on her. The only explanation he could come up with was that her fear of magic somehow gave her the power to repel it. And what an immense power that would be.</p><p>“I’m sorry. We cast some spells, but somehow it seems they had no effect on you. You were never meant to hear this. Does that happen to you a lot? That spells don’t work on you?”</p><p>She shrugged. “Sometimes. Though I can’t tell why they do or don’t.”</p><p>Gellert sighed. He had to admit that by now, he felt uncomfortable, too.</p><p>“So, does it surprise you? That Albus and I…”</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t finish the sentence, though he usually wasn’t shy for words. Even with Bathilda, he had </span>
  <span>not felt this embarrassed. </span>
</p><p>Ariana didn’t seem to share his sentiment, as she looked into his eyes unabashed.</p><p>“<span>It did, at first. I mean, who would have thought? But then I figured… well, he likes you, obviously. And I haven’t seen him this happy since… well, ever. </span><span>Now I’m kind of used to it.”</span></p><p>“<span>Don’t you think it’s strange?”</span></p><p>“Because you’re both boys? Oh, I do. But… well, who am I to talk? I’m strange myself, I guess. Strangeness is nothing to be worried about.”</p><p>Gellert let out a short laugh. “Tell that to your brother.”</p><p>Ariana smiled at him, finally. The tension on her face receded somewhat.</p><p>“Yes, he would worry about something like that.”</p><p>An almost comfortable silence ensued between them. Ariana seemed to want to start speaking a couple of times, but always decided otherwise. Finally, she did, and it seemed to take her a lot of courage to say what she said.</p><p>“But I have to ask something of you.”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Please… don’t take him away. Albus, I mean. I know he’s desperate to leave, and you too, I reckon. But… he’s the only family I have left. He and Aberforth… and you know Aberforth will be off to Hogwarts soon. And I can’t leave, as you well know.”</p><p>She lowered her gaze, acknowledging the sad truth of her existence, but Gellert only shook his head.</p><p>“That’s not true, Ariana. Why shouldn’t you be able to leave any less than Albus and me?”</p><p>
  <span>Raising an eyebrow, she looked at him, almost as if </span>
  <span>to mock</span>
  <span> him.</span>
</p><p>“I know you’re not stupid, so don’t act like you are. You know what I get like. Mind you, Albus and Aberforth don’t get tired of reminding me every day. There’s no chance of me going anywhere.”</p><p>Suddenly, Gellert felt the familiar rage he often felt when he saw how Ariana was trapped, how she was held back by some superstitious belief, how nobody even tried to help her and restore her magic. He turned to her and took her hand in a sudden fit of emotions.</p><p>“Ariana, I cannot promise you that I won’t take Albus away. But I promise you instead, when we leave this place, we will not leave you behind. You will come with us. I won’t let you waste away your talents here.”</p><p>Her eyes widened. “My talents?”</p><p>“Of course! I haven’t heard of any witch yet who can just <em>ward off </em>magic! You have immense power, you’re just… overwhelmed by it. And trust me, I know what that feels like. We will find something… or someone… to help you master it. There’s a whole world out there, waiting for you… and it is vast. Maybe they don’t have a cure for you here in Godric’s Hollow, or maybe in whole England, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”</p><p>At his words, he saw something appearing in her gaze like a ray of sunlight, something he had never seen before. It was hope, and he had never realized how much her life had been lacking it. It made her face brighten up with a beauty even his spell on the day of their picnic had not been able to achieve. It made his heart leap and vow to himself here and there that he wouldn’t break his promise to her, no matter how long he had to search.</p><p>She opened her mouth to say something, but just then they heard a loud “crack” at their backs and turned around, startled. Albus and Aberforth had Apparated behind them, or rather, Albus had, taking Aberforth with him. His hand was still wrapped around Aberforth’s arm in a firm grip, and his face was red and furious.</p><p>They had obviously been in the middle of a discussion, which Albus ended with the words: “Now go to your room!”</p><p>“You cannot order me to do anything, Albus”, Aberforth shouted while tearing free his arm. “Apart from that, it would mean you’d have to look after Ariana for once, and what a sacrifice that would be!”</p><p>He stormed off, but by his demeanor made it clear that he was doing it out of his own free will, and not because Albus had told him so. Albus stayed back, huffing and panting with suppressed anger.</p><p>“What happened?”, Ariana cried, jumping up. “Did he do anything? Was he hurt? Was the other boy hurt?”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know. I think he broke his nose, it was bleeding pretty bad. It was a Muggle boy… Aberforth said he provoked him, called him a nutter or something. Good thing he wasn’t allowed to do magic on him, but Aberforth never needed that, he can use his fists just fine. Merlin, it was a bloody awful mess. I would’ve liked to heal his face, but I couldn’t do that, so I only apologized to his parents, they came running immediately.”</p><p>
  <span>Ariana let out a breath of relief. “That </span>
  <span>doesn’t sound as bad as</span>
  <span> I expected.”</span>
</p><p>“It definitely could have been much worse. Good thing you called me, Ariana.”</p><p>
  <span>They smiled at each other, but almost immediately an awkward silence ensued when Albus remembered the moment </span>
  <span>she had burst into the room</span>
  <span>. Gellert cleared his throat, remembering them he was still there.</span>
</p><p>“I think… I will leave you to sort out your family business”, he said, already taking his leave before Albus could protest. “Come over once you’re free, or send an owl. See you, Ariana!”</p><p>He could see Ariana waving at him when he left the room, and an odd expression on Albus’ face, somewhat impatient, as if there was something he still meant to tell him.</p><p>…</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <span>was late for his lessons with Bathilda, which she remarked casually, but clearly was tired of scolding him for. Lately, she had been keen on getting him interested in politics and current affairs, making him read the Daily Prophet and various Muggle newspapers, making his head churn with all the foreign names, the factions within the Ministry of Magic, the discussion whether </span>
  <span>or not </span>
  <span>to follow the Muggle line when it came to foreign policy; </span>
  <span>the Muggle obsession with colonialism, Queen Victoria on every page, the drought. It was the 8</span>
  <sup>
    <span>th</span>
  </sup>
  <span> driest summer on record, he read, and the farmers were desperate for rain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered aloud daily why they couldn’t practice spells like they used to, but Bathilda said she was under the impression he didn’t need her help </span>
  <span>too much </span>
  <span>w</span>
  <span>ith those; instead, she wanted to help him develop a sense for the current state of the world and the interconnections between the different countries, as well as the Muggle- and the Magical World. </span>
</p><p>Gellert didn’t know what she was aiming for by doing this, if she was aiming for something at all, but if anything, it made him realize that the world as they knew it was in a state of growing disarray, despite the pretense of order all the leaders were trying to project. There were tensions bubbling everywhere, imminent wars below the surface of projections of strength. The magical societies were, to Gellert’s displeasure, not working together, but kept to the borders designed by Muggles, each of them following suit if wars and political maneuvers from the Muggles’ side moved them one way or another.</p><p>“<span>How is it”, he cried </span><span>this afternoon </span><span>in frustration, throwing down the Daily Prophet, “that we let the Muggles decide our line of politics? Can’t we decide for ourselves how we design our governments, our states, or countries?”</span></p><p>“What do you mean?”, Bathilda asked solemnly after resurfacing from an article she had been absorbed in, looking at him with interest.</p><p>“Take colonialism, for example”, Gellert continued with a reddened face. “Instead of rejecting it as a horrible idea born from the Muggles’ megalomania, every Ministry of Magic of the countries with colonial property establishes a “Department for Colonial Affairs” and sends wizards to colonial countries, but not to connect on an equal level, but to impose on them their same condescending ideas as the Muggles. The German wizards have an unhealthy fascination with the Kaiser, discussing endlessly whether he’s a great reformer or a dangerous man, because ultimately, they all know their fates depend on what he does. But why, Bathilda? Why do we have to depend on them for everything? Witches and Wizards everywhere act like they had their own, independent societies, but that’s not true. They’re more connected to their respective Muggle governments than they are with each other.”</p><p>He could see he had caught Bathilda’s interest. She put a marker into the book she had been reading and closed it, taking off her reading glasses.</p><p>“That’s an interesting observation, Gellert”, she concluded. “But haven’t you overlooked a simple fact? You see our dependence on the Muggles as a bad thing, but what is it that really divides us from them? Does our ability to do magic make us more responsible? More human?”</p><p>Gellert shrugged. “More powerful, in any case.”</p><p>Bathilda shook her head gently. “That is the worst criteria for handing someone even more power. I think giving the responsibility to the less powerful was one of the best decisions we wizards and witches ever made.”</p><p>Gellert looked at her in disbelief. “And you think they’re doing a good job?”</p><p>“The question is, would we do a better job? Does our power make us any wiser or more compassionate? Instead, I think it proves true wisdom to hand the power to the less powerful. As the Muggles’ powers are limited, their power for destruction is also limited. Just imagine what a powerful wizard could do in a war. How many people he could kill with just the swipe of his wand.”</p><p>“Oh, but the Muggles are getting there. Their weapons are getting more effective every time, and soon, I have to doubt, they will find ways to do the same with whatever their technology will yield. Soon, they will wipe out entire countries with just the press of a button, I’m sure.”</p><p>Bathilda nodded slightly. “That is a worrying development indeed. But I don’t think if you handed the Wizards and Witches all the power, the wars would just stop. We would fight them all the same.”</p><p>Gellert was just about to reply when he heard the little wooden bird figure on the shelf announce with a twitter that someone was approaching the front door. Shortly after, there was a knock, and Bathilda rose.</p><p>“We’ll continue reading tomorrow, Gellert. I like your critical opinion, and you definitely have a refreshing view on things. I would very much like to continue this conversation.”</p><p>
  <span>When she came back, Albus was following her with a nervous expression on his face. Bathilda raised her right eyebrow ever so slightly into </span>
  <span>Gellert’s </span>
  <span>direction, the closest thing to a reaction concerning Albus he had gotten from her since their conversation that day. </span>
</p><p>“Alright, Gellert, Albus is here. I’ll leave you boys to your endeavors. Feel free to make tea and take from the pantry whatever you like.”</p><p>She vanished upstairs, leaving them both behind, smiling gingerly at each other. Albus sat down at the dining table they had used for their reading session, and took Gellert’s hands into his own.</p><p>“How did it go?”, Gellert asked nervously. “Did you talk to Ariana?”</p><p>Albus nodded reluctantly. “I did. It was… awkward, but way easier than I expected. She turns out to be quite a mature young woman.”</p><p>
  <span>Gellert nodded. “She is. </span>
  <span>You tend to </span>
  <span>underestimate her.”</span>
</p><p>A slight frown appeared on Albus’ forehead. “She also told me that you promised her to take her with us when we leave? Do you think that was a good idea? I won’t get that out of her head now.”</p><p>“What other choice do we have?”, Gellert replied with a sigh. “We’ve talked about this…”</p><p>“And we will talk more about it, but later”, Albus interrupted him. “There is something else I came to tell you.”</p><p>Gellert leaned back in his chair without letting go of Albus’ hands, looking at him expectantly.</p><p>“<span>When I went to look for Aberforth”, Albus continued, “I realized how tired I am of this. Of this place. I’m tired of cleaning after my brother’s mess, I’m tired of sitting at home all day. I’m tired of using my magic to heat a kettle of tea e</span><span>ach morning,</span><span> instead of all the powerful spells out there. Of this village, the stupid Muggle boys who bullied my sister into the state she’s in, without giving them pig’s ears as they deserve. You’re right, Gellert, this is not the life I was meant for. So… I’m here to tell you that I’ve made my decision. I will do the Blood Pact with you. </span><span>Maybe it is stupid and dangerous, but what could be worse than this mediocre life? I want to leave with you. And I want to be with you. That’s all I know.”</span></p><p>He bit his lip after he had finished and looked at Gellert expectantly. His hands betrayed his nervousness, as they had gotten slightly damp and were clinging to his.</p><p>“Is this your final decision?”, Gellert whispered finally, looking into the bright blue eyes that still made his heart beat faster. “There’s no going back once we’ve done it, you know that.”</p><p>Albus nodded. “Believe me. I’ve thought about it. I’ve never met anyone like you in my entire life, and I’m sure I never will. I love you, Gellert. I really do.”</p><p>A wave of happiness flooded Gellert’s body and a broad smile claimed his face, even though he was trying to keep his composure. He leaned his forehead against Albus’ and closed his eyes, whispering against his lips.</p><p>“And I love you, Albus. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”</p><p>They stayed like this for a moment, enveloped by the golden light of the late afternoon, their hands entwined, their lips only inches apart. Gellert had his eyes still closed and was inhaling the dizzy feeling of happiness, of being loved, of being wanted, and of loving and wanting equally in return. They didn’t kiss, but Albus’ confession had been more passionate than any kiss they had shared.</p><p>Then, suddenly, another feeling invaded him, a rush of mad excitement, the prospect of powerful magic, all ready for him to use. He got up, letting go of Albus’ hands, with a mischievous smirk on his face.</p><p>“Then let’s get started!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am neither an English native speaker nor a historian, so I apologize for all the mistakes and historical inaccuracies. </p><p>Apparently, there is some discrepancy on where Durmstrang is located exactly, so I made the decision to place it into Bulgaria for this story.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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